# Optical Forums > General Optics and Eyecare Discussion Forum >  Stupid question thread

## Wes

Anyone with burning questions like "Are all progressive the same?" or "What is zero distance power?"  Also, " I make 10$ hr, am I overpaid?" And"  how can I get good job at lenzcrazers?"
Just ask here.  
We wont get annoyed.
We have nothing better to discuss.
Anyone want to see my toenail collection?

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## Diopterman

What is the refractive index of belly button lint?

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## Wes

Buttermilk.

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## Speed

If things appear backwards in the mirror, why arn't they upside down?

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## clumsy lab guy

> If things appear backwards in the mirror, why arn't they upside down?


 RAOFL. You guys are hilarious!

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## DragonLensmanWV

Why do you hit your head against the wall?




"Cause it feels good when you stop?

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## finefocus

> If things appear backwards in the mirror, why arn't they upside down?


Excellent!

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## John@OWDC

Maybe it really is time for a brief "quiz" you have to pass in order to post? 

Heck they could even be: questions like "Are all progressive the same?" or "What is zero distance power?" Also, " I make 10$ hr, am I overpaid?" And" how can I get good job at lenzcrazers?"

I'll let you decide the multiple guess answers.

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## chip anderson

Did anyone axe you what line you kain't read?

I have a reading card with the word "dimunition" on it.    Almost no one in this state can read/pronounce it and much less know what it means.   Seems even a PHD in English doesn't help.:hammer:

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## optilady1

Here's a new one I got from a patient today:  Can you give me my old prescription, because xyz optical will on go up to a -6.00 in a drill frame, and my new rx is too high.  I will only wear a drill frame, and I have to shop at xyz because I have a credit card for there.

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## Uncle Fester

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

Or is that the most dangerous question?

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## CCGREEN

Just a few burning questions here since this seems to be the thread to post them in. Not ever found and answer to these useless questions but have laid awake at night pondering them. :hammer:

#1 Why do hurricane's only form north of the equator?

#2 If one could form south of the equator would it spin in the opposite direction?

#3 If a hurricane was in the north and one was in the south and they both were spinning in the opposite direction of each other and they met at the equator would they cancel each other out?

#4 Last but not least.......what part of the duck do you squeeze to get the damn duck sauce from? We all know where milk comes from......but how about duck sauce?

Someone please help me here so that I can sleep at night again. :Confused:

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## tdj

> Did anyone axe you what line you kain't read?
> 
> I have a reading card with the word "dimunition" on it.    Almost no one in this state can read/pronounce it and much less know what it means.   Seems even a PHD in English doesn't help.:hammer:


The last line on my reading card includes the word "extensive."

Without fail, 70% of pts say "exclusive." I still haven't figured it out. I work in a fairly well-off, well-educated town.

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## Diopterman

If one would be building an Egyptian type pyramid or mock huge prism out of empty Busch and Schlitz beer cans while the significant other is away on vacation, would it be possible to angle the reflective sunlight off of the bottom of the mirror like beer cans in such a way as to light a tinder bundle that would be hot enough to ignite a well prepared charcoal pyramid in order to char animal muscle to a point of palate perfection that only more liquid gold from said beer cans could properly wash down?

And if so, would erecting a pyramid of the empty nectar of the Gods cans, give proper tribute to true optical friends?

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## pezfaerie

Why should I give my 2 cents worth when you'll only give me a penny for my thoughts?

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## finefocus

> If one would be building an Egyptian type pyramid or mock huge prism out of empty Busch and Schlitz beer cans while the significant other is away on vacation, would it be possible to angle the reflective sunlight off of the bottom of the mirror like beer cans in such a way as to light a tinder bundle that would be hot enough to ignite a well prepared charcoal pyramid in order to char animal muscle to a point of palate perfection that only more liquid gold from said beer cans could properly wash down?
> 
> And if so, would erecting a pyramid of the empty nectar of the Gods cans, give proper tribute to true optical friends?


It's like Trial-By-Combat, where God ensures that the virtuous heart will be victorious. If your animal tissue is unsatisfying, then your optical friends are insufficiently true.

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## cleyes

Why is the 20/40 line misread consistently  as...VZBDE  instead of FZBDE?

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## Ecliptic

I hads me an exzam in yur office last week and the doc tol' me that I'z gots Cadillacs in my eyes and I needs ta see an offtha mole gist.... But I dun't understand ... how did I gets them cars in mah eyes?

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## Johns

Ok, I'll bite.  I taught English at the high school level for 18 years before my husband retired from the military, and  I decided to work part-time in the optical field. 

Question: Why do I get frustrated with posts such as the following, that have absolutely no regard for capitalization, sentence structure, or punctuation? The ad mentions "professional" over and over, but there is nothing even slightly professional about the post.

Am I crazy to notice such things?  Is it just me?

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qualifications include a high school  diploma or equivalent, minimumof two year retail sales and/or customer  service work experience, possessexcellent oral and written communication  skills, knowledge of basic mathematicsand algebra, and/or minimum of 3  years of optical experience and managementexperience, career opportunity  # 1321

to apply please send your resume with the career opportunity#1321 listed to charisse@imatters.net for more information call us toll free at866.412.4115 x700, or fax to 866.461.4097!

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_OK,  I gave up on making the corrections.  I would give them an "F", have them re-do it, and find the rest of the errors that I didn't bother to correct. I would then give them the opportunity for extra credit by cleaning out the gutters on my house._

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## finefocus

I again recommend "Eats, Shoots, & Leaves".

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## bob_f_aboc

Darby--

Sometimes you can tell a lot about an individual (or company) by the quality of their communication.  

If the written communication is sub-standard, what would you expect the quality of their business to be?

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## THE MEB

Bob, I am concerned that you have just proven the former English teacher for 18 years point. Didn't you just end your last sentence with a preposition? (to be)

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## Diopterman

When saying the word "PLANO"...........

How is the "A" pronounced?

Long A, short a, what sAy you?

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## shanbaum

Play-no.  Like the city in Tejas.

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## Judy Canty

I am well acquainted with the folks at imatters and they are really great people who provide a great service.  I wonder if the way to help them find quailified staff is to beat them up over typos.

The title of this thread is destined to dissuade people from posting, let alone the general snarky-ness that has driven most of our best members to other forums.

I think it's time for everyone to go outside and play in the sun.

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## Striderswife

> Bob, I am concerned that you have just proven the former English teacher for 18 years point. Didn't you just end your last sentence with a preposition? (to be)


"Be" is not a preposition.  It is a helping verb.  I had to memorize the 23 helping verbs in the 5th and 7th grades, and they're burned into my memory forever.  I could rattle them off, if you really want to hear the list!  (wink, wink).

Here's my question of all times:  what would chairs look like if our knees were on backwards?

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## Johns

> I am well acquainted with the folks at imatters and they are really great people who provide a great service.  I wonder if the way to help them find quailified staff is to beat them up over typos.
> 
> The title of this thread is destined to dissuade people from posting, let alone the general snarky-ness that has driven most of our best members to other forums.
> 
> I think it's time for everyone to go outside and play in the sun.


I am simply using their post as an example.  Unfortunately they are just one of the many offenders.  And to be fair, it wasn't just a typo, but a series of typos, fragmented sentences, and misspelled words in a post that sought to attract the "professionals" of our business.  

It's nice you know them, but what are we to think of a solicitation for professionals that may as well have been scratched out on the back of a cocktail napkin?  Nice people or not, what are we to think?

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## Johns

> "Be" is not a preposition.  It is a helping verb.


You are correct!

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## Judy Canty

> I am simply using their post as an example. Unfortunately they are just one of the many offenders. And to be fair, it wasn't just a typo, but a series of typos, fragmented sentences, and misspelled words in a post that sought to attract the "professionals" of our business. 
> 
> It's nice you know them, but what are we to think of a solicitation for professionals that may as well have been scratched out on the back of a cocktail napkin? Nice people or not, what are we to think?


If their intention was to attract your attention to a job posting, I think it worked.

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## Judy Canty

> I hads me an exzam in yur office last week and the doc tol' me that I'z gots Cadillacs in my eyes and I needs ta see an offtha mole gist.... But I dun't understand ... how did I gets them cars in mah eyes?


Now this I find offensive on many levels.  Darby, what do you think?

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## k12311997

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

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## chip anderson

Torn Bread!

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## Johns

> Originally Posted by *Ecliptic*  
>                  I hads me an exzam in yur office last week and  the doc tol' me that I'z gots Cadillacs in my eyes and I needs ta see an  offtha mole gist.... But I dun't understand ... how did I gets them  cars in mah eyes?





> Now this I find offensive on many levels.  Darby, what do you think?


What do I think?

  Well, seeing as this was posted in the "Stupid Question  Thread", I'd say that it is appropriate.  If this had been posted by  someone hoping to attract an employee that had a particular regional  dialect, appropriate for their office, it would have been equally  appropriate.  

    I'm not sure if I could really be offended by anything posted under the  thread title, "Stupid question thread"  However, now that you mention  it, I'm sure that some folks are offended solely  by the use of the word  "Stupid", as they are so vain, they probably think this thread is about  them.

   I'm not offended by grammar, semantics, nor seemingly educated peoples' inability to properly construct sentences.  I'm more baffled at society's willingness to accept mediocre writing/speaking skills, especially in the context of trying to attract professionals.

Offensive?  If I found this offensive, I would not have a skin thick enough to allow me to work in some of the offices that I free lance in.

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## finefocus

...in which I freelance.

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## Johns

> ...in which I freelance.




Should I blame the late hour, the wine, my lack of education, or all of the above?

I'm going with "all of the above"!

Touche'!

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## Striderswife

> ...in which I freelance.


BAM, BABY!!!


Sorry.  It's the first thing that came to mind.

As long as we're on the subject, here is my cousin-in-law's blog for today:

http://www.bowlesonline.com/common-g...he-wrong-word/

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## Johns

> BAM, BABY!!!
> 
> 
> Sorry.  It's the first thing that came to mind.
> 
> As long as we're on the subject, here is my cousin-in-law's blog for today:
> 
> http://www.bowlesonline.com/common-g...he-wrong-word/


Sorry?  Don't be!  It was the first thing that came to MY mind after I hit "submit reply"!  I knew I'd catch heck for it!:bbg: Glass houses do not keep enough light out!

I love your cousin-law's blog!  It should be required reading for all incoming (high school and college) freshman!

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## MEB

> bob, i am concerned that you have just proven the former english teacher for 18 years point. Didn't you just end your last sentence with a preposition? (to be)


 :D

...Lol!

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## Judy Canty

> What do I think?
> 
> Well, seeing as this was posted in the "Stupid Question Thread", I'd say that it is appropriate. If this had been posted by someone hoping to attract an employee that had a particular regional dialect, appropriate for their office, it would have been equally appropriate. 
> 
> I'm not sure if I could really be offended by anything posted under the thread title, "Stupid question thread" However, now that you mention it, I'm sure that some folks are offended solely by the use of the word "Stupid", as they are so vain, they probably think this thread is about them.
> 
> I'm not offended by grammar, semantics, nor seemingly educated peoples' inability to properly construct sentences. I'm more baffled at society's willingness to accept mediocre writing/speaking skills, especially in the context of trying to attract professionals.
> 
> Offensive? If I found this offensive, I would not have a skin thick enough to allow me to work in some of the offices that I free lance in.


Hmmm, let me guess your ethnicity....

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## braheem24

You're allowed to guess her regional dialect, Not her ethnicity ;)

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## Johns

> Hmmm, let me guess your ethnicity....


Well gee whiz, this shouldn't be much of challenge for you.   I don't hide behind a pseudonym, I go by my maiden name, which is Darby, and I've previously stated I live in a town that was named after my ancestors. 

If you are inferring that the post you found offensive was racist, then  I would suggest you have a long list of ethnic types to choose from.  In fact, that post could have been the replication of any number of dialects (if that's what you found offensive), but more likely it was the poster's take on the "Beverly Hillbillys".

Or, am I missing the point completely, and you took offense to the use of the term "Cadillacs"?

At least we are keeping with the spirit of thread!  Keep the ____________questions coming!  (Left blank at the risk of offending anyone.)

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## Chris Ryser

Why are so called "STUPID THREADS" among the most popular on OptiBoard, and why do the often go into insults ? Most views in the shortest time, like the newest one right here below.




*Stupid question thread, Started by Wes‎, 07-29-2011 10:53 AM* 

2 Pages •1 2 ,    Replies: 40,    Views: 733,    Last Post By: Last Post: 07-31-2011 _01:48 AM_ by Darby 
Forum:   General Optics and Eyecare 



<-----------------------------------> 



*What Is The Stupidest Question You Have Been Asked, Started by mrmac‎, 02-23-2006 09:32 AM*

32 Pages •1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 32 ,    Replies: 798,    Views: 75,512,    
Last Post By:Last Post: 03-18-2011 _08:26 PM_by k12311997 Forum: General Optics and Eyecare 




<------------------------------------> 



*As long as I'm Asking Stupid Questions Today, Started by chip anderson‎, 05-07-2006 10:02 AM* 


Replies: 13,    Views: 941,    Last Post By: Last Post: 05-09-2006 _05:03 PM_by loncoaForum: General Optics and Eyecare 


<--------------------------------------> 



*The Dumbing Down Factor, Started by jediron‎, 06-09-2003 10:47 PM* 

2 Pages • 1 2,    Replies: 34,    Views: 2,164,    Last Post By: Last Post: 06-19-2003 _07:55 PM_ by jediron 

Forum:General Optics and Eyecare

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## cocoisland58

> The last line on my reading card includes the word "extensive."
> Without fail, 70% of pts say "exclusive." I still haven't figured it out. I work in a fairly well-off, well-educated town.


Considering your patient base and my own experience with them it's probably not a mistake.

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## cocoisland58

"I like these here frames but I don't want the Nike symbol thing on my lens, can I get mine without it?"   For you? Yes.

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## k12311997

> "I like these here frames but I don't want the Nike symbol thing on my lens, can I get mine without it?" For you? Yes.


don't worry we only charge an extra $20 to remove the diamond chip from the vera bradly lenses and we'll throw in removing the name for free.

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## chip anderson

Coco:

I would say at near 50 % of customers will tell me that they like a particular frame but would not buy it because of the trademark.    I have posted and told many frame reps and manufacturers that they would sell twice as many of thier frames if each were available without the large exteriorly visible trademark.   True many do buy them at least in part to show off the trade mark, but others genuinely like the frame design but don't care to advertise for the designer.
Actually they could sell the plain model for the same price as the marked one which would amount to a few cents less in cost not having to install an exterior logo.
Of course I have never had a frame manufacturer agree to this.   And I have had some say the "designer's contract" wouldn't allow them to do this.

Chip

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## cocoisland58

> I would say at near 50 % of customers will tell me that they like a particular frame but would not buy it because of the trademark.


Absolutely, I have three or four frames I could sell everyday if not for the logo.  Gone are the days when status logos were en vogue, it's now PC to be the inconspicuous consumer.

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## Judy Canty

> Well gee whiz, this shouldn't be much of challenge for you. I don't hide behind a pseudonym, I go by my maiden name, which is Darby, and I've previously stated I live in a town that was named after my ancestors. 
> 
> If you are inferring that the post you found offensive was racist, then I would suggest you have a long list of ethnic types to choose from. In fact, that post could have been the replication of any number of dialects (if that's what you found offensive), but more likely it was the poster's take on the "Beverly Hillbillys".
> 
> Or, am I missing the point completely, and you took offense to the use of the term "Cadillacs"?
> 
> At least we are keeping with the spirit of thread! Keep the ____________questions coming! (Left blank at the risk of offending anyone.)


Yes, you've missed the point. I posted on this board using my full name, my location and my employer from 1995 until about 2010. That was when some of our more contentious members decided to strike out at me through my employer. Just as one of the posters here has cleaned up his "colloquial" verbage, another decides it's acceptable and everyone plays along. I think long and hard about my posts and the impact they may have on my reputation and my standing within the group. The fact remains that I have as much right to be offended by "colorful" language as you. Perhaps my standards and expectations are, well, let's just say different from yours.

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## chip anderson

Darby, you should live in Jackson, MS.    Absolutely _nothing_ happens in politics, construction, television, radio or any public forum without someone finding it to be either racist or offensive.
At one time the news services were not allowed to describe wanted fellons (read: criminals being hunted for just commited crimes or escapees) by race.  They were allowed to say tall, short fat, clothes described but not a word about race.
There is always someone that find something to be _offended_ by.  We just have to live with these oversensitive
people just as they have to live with us insensitive types.   If they want to re-write Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain), or Edgar Rice Burrows, we just have to put up with it.  In many cases these are the people that are offended by any Christian display or Holliday but see a celebration of Ramadan as a glorious display of diversity.

Chip

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## cocoisland58

Same thing in Detroit Chip.  Everyone, regardless of race wants and needs to know what color the perp is just in case he's knocking on the back door.

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## Striderswife

> "I like these here frames but I don't want the Nike symbol thing on my lens, can I get mine without it?"   For you? Yes.


I only get this with Jalapenos frames.  Nearly every person who tries them on asks, "Will this chili pepper be on there?"  Ugh.

Kids seem to want the Nike symbol on their lenses, though.  I guess it makes them feel cool.  *shrug*

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## optilady1

> Coco:
> 
> I would say at near 50 % of customers will tell me that they like a particular frame but would not buy it because of the trademark. I have posted and told many frame reps and manufacturers that they would sell twice as many of thier frames if each were available without the large exteriorly visible trademark. True many do buy them at least in part to show off the trade mark, but others genuinely like the frame design but don't care to advertise for the designer.
> Actually they could sell the plain model for the same price as the marked one which would amount to a few cents less in cost not having to install an exterior logo.
> Of course I have never had a frame manufacturer agree to this. And I have had some say the "designer's contract" wouldn't allow them to do this.
> 
> Chip



I so agree!  So many people have told me that the don't want to be a walking billbord for a particular brand.  

By the way, why did this thread turn so serious?  It was supposed to be silly.  Le sigh, just another day on optiboard.

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## Wes

Can god create a problem so difficult that he can't solve it?  Why or why not?

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## Wes

How far can a dog run into the woods?

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## Wes

Which one of those glasses is my subscription? -about the demos

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## Judy Canty

[QUOTE=chip anderson;394605 In many cases these are the people that are offended by any Christian display or Holliday but see a celebration of Ramadan as a glorious display of diversity.
Chip[/QUOTE]

Sorry Chip, I'm a practicing Buddhist.  But your comment does beg the question, "What would a Ramadan display include?"  An empty plate, perhaps?

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## finefocus

> Can god create a problem so difficult that he can't solve it? Why or why not?


I dunno, but mankind can pose unanswerable questions, such as "What is God"?

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## chip anderson

Gee and I thought Buddist weren't supposed to get _offended_ by anything or anyone.

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## kcount

Back to stupid questions:

In my office there is a guitar with three capos on the head stock. Everyday I am asked the same question, "Do you play the guitar?"

Yep, here's your sign.


I think I'll change the last line of the reading card to say, "Now that this amazing feat of prestidigitation has been completed, feel free to tell your friends and family about Corner Optical!" It may be fun to watch everyone stumble.

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## kcount

> Gee and I thought Buddist weren't supposed to get _offended_ by anything or anyone.


Buddhist can be offended... they just cant kill you. :hammer:

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## Bejeezus

> Back to stupid questions:
> 
> In my office there is a guitar with three capos on the head stock. Everyday I am asked the same question, "Do you play the guitar?"
> 
> Yep, here's your sign.
> 
> 
> I think I'll change the last line of the reading card to say, "Now that this amazing feat of prestidigitation has been completed, feel free to tell your friends and family about Corner Optical!" It may be fun to watch everyone stumble.



   At the risk of opening myself up for the "here's your sign" award of the day, I have to ask, why 3 capos on the headstock? I own several but usually only have them each on their own seperate guitar.

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## Robert Martellaro

> At the risk of opening myself up for the "here's your sign" award of the day, I have to ask, why 3 capos on the headstock? I own several but usually only have them each on their own seperate guitar.


One capo might be used to change the pitch across the board, another to change the open tuning without detuning one or more strings, and a third might have different cutouts for additional open tunings. The partial capo might come in handy when playing slide, but most folks use a different guitar for that.

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## scottster

> How far can a dog run into the woods?


Ha! A brain teaser! Hmmm...this has to be trick question.... I'm gonna guess that it can only run halfway, then it'll be running out of the woods. Just my guess, it's probably something more metaphysical.  :Wink:

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## chip anderson

I heard a news report yesterday that a dog had to be airlifted out of a national park because of exhaustion.

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## Bejeezus

> One capo might be used to change the pitch across the board, another to change the open tuning without detuning one or more strings, and a third might have different cutouts for additional open tunings. The partial capo might come in handy when playing slide, but most folks use a different guitar for that.


   And here's my "Ahaaa! " moment. I should have  thought of that :P I keep 2 in standard tuning, 1 in open G and 1 in open D and a square neck reso that I'll change as I feel the mood lol.

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## Johns

> I heard a news report yesterday that a dog had to be airlifted out of a national park because of exhaustion.


http://gillreport.com/2011/08/dog-ai...-out-on-trail/

My husband showed this to me and said they should have rescued the dog in this manner:

1. Land helicopter.
2. Put dog on board.
3. Shoot dog's owner(s).
4. Take dog home.
5. Have dog owner's estate pay for rescue.

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## kcount

> At the risk of opening myself up for the "here's your sign" award of the day, I have to ask, why 3 capos on the headstock? I own several but usually only have them each on their own seperate guitar.


Not a dumb question at all!  to be honest I didn't know about this until a couple of years ago.  Basically I have one regular Capo (White) One 'Drop D Capo (Black) and one Cut Capo (Blue) 
By placing them up in order on the neck of the guitar I can alter the tuning quickly and create some interesting sounds. 
Case in point I like to play a Richard Schindell song called Fleur de lis.  I could retune the guitar to DADGAD and put a full capo on the first fret  or I could put a full capo on the first fret and a cut capo on the third fret and play it that way. Easier and sounds a little more interesting. (just remember to reach around the cut capo for the Em.  Interestingly anoth song I like, Stronger for your Flame by Randall Williams, is played this way. In the video he also explains the tuning.  As a side line Randall played at my wedding last year, amazing guitarist and a great guy.  Now if I could just get Causeway down I'd be happy.

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## kaypaula

> The last line on my reading card includes the word "extensive."
> 
> Without fail, 70% of pts say "exclusive." I still haven't figured it out. *I work in a fairly well-off, well-educated town*.


..and that would be why.  Their brains are preconditioned to see/use that word more often.  Just a hunch.

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## thatNCoptician

I keep getting asked the question, "Why/how did the medicine run out in my glasses?" Figured I'd ask you all to see what would be the best response (and this seemed like a good place to ask). :)

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## cleyes

Lucky you, I'm dying for someone to ask me that......not once in 35 yrs!  I just get: these don't work, they're c..p, while showing me 10+ yr old beat to %#$@ foggy lenses......I tell them if they looked like that, they wouldn't "work" either. In NY they won't admit to them ever being good!

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## thatNCoptician

WOW!!!! Maybe it has more to do with location or age. I have only heard this from some of my older patients. I was in the middle of an argument between a husband and wife about it recently.

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## Wes

> I keep getting asked the question, "Why/how did the medicine run out in my glasses?" Figured I'd ask you all to see what would be the best response (and this seemed like a good place to ask). :)


"You must've left them lying upside down.  Just leave them out right side up for a couple of nights and they'll be ok."

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## optical24/7

> I keep getting asked the question, "Why/how did the medicine run out in my glasses?" Figured I'd ask you all to see what would be the best response (and this seemed like a good place to ask). :)



 Simple pull out a copy of their Rx and show them.." Well Mrs. Smith, the OD put a one year expiration on your prescription. You're lucky it lasted this long!"
 :Biggrin: 




I still think the new smiley's are sissy..

----------


## pseudonym

> I keep getting asked the question, "Why/how did the medicine run out in my glasses?" Figured I'd ask you all to see what would be the best response (and this seemed like a good place to ask). :)


Must be an NC thing because I hear it often. It seems to mean "my glasses are not as effective as they used to be." Also, I've never heard a white person say it. They say equally funny things, but nothing about medicine in the glasses.

----------


## Wes

> Must be an NC thing because I hear it often.


It's at least a Carolinas thing because I hear it all the time, even from opticians and frame stylists.

----------


## Pogu

> #4 Last but not least.......what part of the duck do you squeeze to get the damn duck sauce from? We all know where milk comes from......but how about duck sauce?
> 
> Someone please help me here so that I can sleep at night again.


Easy, the apricots :)

----------


## cr8smfun

Do these frames make me look fat??

I don't know how my glasses got scratched?? (As she pulls them from the bottom of her purse without a case)

These frames keep breaking... 
    Do you keep them in a case?
No I keep them in my pocket..

These lenses keep scratching....
   How do you clean them..
I clean them the way YOU told me...

----------


## Mizikal

"do you take my insurance?"
"no I am sorry we do not"
"Do you know who does?"
"no I am sorry I do not."
"okay do you know what they cover?"
"no since we are not providers I do not know"
"Could you call them and find out for me?"
""no!!!"

 That is one of the questions that still bothers me.

----------


## Wes

> "do you take my insurance?"
> "no I am sorry we do not"
> "Do you know who does?"
> "no I am sorry I do not."
> "okay do you know what they cover?"
> "no since we are not providers I do not know"
> "Could you call them and find out for me?"
> ""no!!!"
> 
>  That is one of the questions that still bothers me.


And then there's this gem:  "what all insurances do y'all take?"  "If you have a few minutes I can list them all alphabetically for you OR you can just tell me what you have and I can tell you if we are a provider."  I swear I get asked this question once a week.  I've even been asked this on multiple occasions by the same person.

----------


## optilady1

I still think the number one stupid question of all time is, "What does my insurance cover?"
Ummmm....

----------


## thatNCoptician

...... It's _YOUR_ insurance!!!!!!!

I figured I would finish that sentence for you! :)

----------


## Wes

> I still think the number one stupid question of all time is, "What does my insurance cover?"
> Ummmm....


You don't know what you've been paying for?  It's even funnier when they don't even know who their insurance company is.  Happens all the time.  How some people make it through life, I'll never know.

----------


## optilady1

> You don't know what you've been paying for? It's even funnier when they don't even know who their insurance company is. Happens all the time. How some people make it through life, I'll never know.


No kidding.  What about your home, do you know where you live?  And your car?  Do you know who your kids are?  If nothing else, aren't you aware that I'm not, infact, a mind reader?  I can pluck from the air some obscure plan that covers nothing if you want me to guess.

----------


## k12311997

> Do you know who your kids are?


Many patients in many neighboorhoods probably can't answer that question for you.

----------


## chip anderson

Actually I saw a survey (DNA checked) and in white suburban middle to upper class neighborhoods either two or three out of five children were calling the wrong man daddy.

Chip

Of course in some neighborhoods it was a rareity for the kids to have anyone at all to call daddy.

----------


## gmc

> You don't know what you've been paying for? It's even funnier when they don't even know who their insurance company is. Happens all the time. How some people make it through life, I'll never know.


The most infuriating is when you ask them if they have vision insurance coverage, they say no and you make the glasses. After they receive the glasses they figure out they did have coverage so you have to rebill it, refund them and make much less money.

----------


## Striderswife

> The most infuriating is when you ask them if they have vision insurance coverage, they say no and you make the glasses. After they receive the glasses they figure out they did have coverage so you have to rebill it, refund them and make much less money.


Is there a way to file, where the patient gets the reimbursement?  In our office, we don't take any insurance (yay!), but plenty of our patients have coverage (and the frequently ask us all the same questions above, which we can never answer because _we don't take insurance!!_).  There's a few that we can file electronically, on behalf of the patient, but the insurance cuts a check to them, not to us.

----------


## Mizikal

I had a patient in today that needed new contacts. Not a big deal I just needed the rx. She knew the name of the Dr's office and knew where it was but had no idea what the phone number was. Instead of calling information I just googled it on my phone. No big deal I do it all the time and I find it easier. The page loaded and the patient asked "Weere you able to pull my information up?" I had to explain that no I could not look her up information  on my phone but I was looking for the phone number of her Dr's office. 

 Her Rx was more then 5 years expired by the way. facepalm

----------


## Happylady

> Actually I saw a survey (DNA checked) and in white suburban middle to upper class neighborhoods either two or three out of five children were calling the wrong man daddy.


I thought it was 2 or 3 %.

----------


## chip anderson

Happy:  Nope 35-40%.   Appearently suburban wives are happier than we think.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Link to the survey?

----------


## Diopterman

> Link to the survey?



www.imchipandimakeupmyfacts.com

----------


## Happylady

> Link to the survey?


Yeah, I don't believe it. 

I did find an article that says about 30% of the time DNA tests for paternity are requested the supposed father really isn't the father. From this the article says that up to 30% of fathers are fathering children that aren't theirs. I don't think their logic is correct here.

----------


## chip anderson

Now for the rest of the story.   I had circut cleark in from a county south of here in yesterday that said they have an entire day each week in court there for people trying to get paternity certification (wanting child support of course).  He said some women have been in there up to five different times over the same child claiming a different possible _father_.

Chip

----------


## pseudonym

> Now for the rest of the story.   I had circut cleark in from a county south of here in yesterday that said they have an entire day each week in court there for people trying to get paternity certification (wanting child support of course).  He said some women have been in there up to five different times over the same child claiming a different possible _father_.
> 
> Chip


Are you sure he wasn't just watching Maury? I'm convinced those people are actors.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

I read where a woman got on a TV show (Maury, I think) and she dragged guys there for several different shows, sure each time she got the actual father. I think they tested around ten guys, all of whom were not the father.

----------


## Striderswife

> Yeah, I don't believe it. 
> 
> I did find an article that says about 30% of the time DNA tests for paternity are requested the supposed father really isn't the father. From this the article says that up to 30% of fathers are fathering children that aren't theirs. I don't think their logic is correct here.


It's possible that the number is so high because of divorce and remarriage. The man these kids call "Daddy" may actually be a step-dad. My dad left my mom while she was pregnant with me, and she remarried when I was about 20 months old. He's the only "Daddy" I've ever known. . . It's not so much they're calling the _wrong_ man daddy, but just that their *dad* isn't their *father.* But yeah, they're fortunate to have someone to call daddy at all. 8^/

----------


## optilady1

> Are you sure he wasn't just watching Maury? I'm convinced those people are actors.


Clearly you did not grow up in the projects.  As for the middle classers, I can't speak for that.

----------


## chip anderson

Strider:   I think this article just referred to children of fathers that had no clue that redheaded kid wasn't thiers in white _middle class_ suberbia.

----------


## Striderswife

Okay, got'cha.  Thanks for the clarification (now that everyone knows my life story. . .)  ;)

----------


## icmor

Is it possible for the prescription to leak out of the lenses?

----------


## Wes

Yes, if you leave them upside down.  But if you leave them right side up for a day the medicine will go back in.

----------


## pseudonym

"Is my prescription high enough to cause glare? Because I don't want the anti-reflective thing if I don't need it."

----------


## Wes

" I don't want no glare!"  Do you mean you don't want glare, or do you mean you don't want anti reflective coating?  "Yeah".  So which is it?  "What's the difference?"  
arrgghhhhh

----------


## optilady1

So  another new one for me.  Patient to me today: "I sleep in my glasses because it helps me see my dreams better."

----------


## opty4062

We get this multiple times per day. (ETA: I meant to quote a former post regarding insurance questions here, lol) People think there is some magical optical insurance database that we all subscribe to. 

Also because of our demographic we deal daily with the medicare patient who is angry that they don't pay on their glasses. Usually older men who think we young girls don't know what we are doing and are just trying to take their social security check.

And my all time fave, the patients returning for the contact lens check without the contacts, after being told at the I&R, and again on the phone when the appointment is confirmed that they need to WEAR the dang things to the contact lens CHECK!! Actual question from last week, "why did I need to wear them, you told me they were my prescription, you don't want them back do you?"

----------


## Striderswife

> So  another new one for me.  Patient to me today: "I sleep in my glasses because it helps me see my dreams better."


I fit a woman a couple weeks ago with "sleeping glasses."  They're really a backup for her contacts, but she uses them to fall asleep in, so she can have some clear vision when she wakes up.  B^[

----------


## Diopterman

Is getting my ABO certification worth it?

Who is the ABO and what do they really do anyway?

----------


## kcount

"I wear my heart on my sleeve. Just take it or leave it!"

What? Your heart or your sleeve?

----------


## Diopterman

Can I paddle my canoe with a pancake?

----------


## optilady1

86 Year old to me, "Will you cheat on your husband with me?"

eew.

----------


## uncut

> 86 Year old to me, "Will you cheat on your husband with me?"
> 
> eew.



Great!......I hope I remember this pick-up line, when I get that old!    I wonder if it works for him? :Wink:

----------


## Striderswife

> 86 Year old to me, "Will you cheat on your husband with me?"
> 
> eew.


Ah, hahahaha! Yeah, ewww. Did he have a Mrs. with him when he said it?

I haven't had this so much in the last few years, as our practice is kind of heavy towards kiddos, but the old men seemed to flirt with me a _lot_. And when they learned my name (an older, Bible name), some would get kind of fresh! Yes, it's flattering that you think I'm young and cute (I'm not so young anymore. . . maybe that's why??), but no thank you.  :Tongue:

----------


## opty4062

Patient was sure to remind me one day this week that he wanted his bifocals on both lenses. Whew! So glad he did!  :)

----------


## Wes

> Patient was sure to remind me one day this week that he wanted his bifocals on both lenses. Whew! So glad he did!  :)


I had a pt that had macular degeneration in last week.  Peripheral vision only in one eye.  We discussed whether she wanted progressives in both lenses or just a cosmetic lens in the affected eye for economic reasons.  I explained that most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference but she chose both.  Maybe that's not always a stupid question.

----------


## rickyforever

> "Does this outfit make me look fat?"
> 
> Or is that the most dangerous question?


its really dangerous and terrible...  :Mad:

----------


## optilady1

> Ah, hahahaha! Yeah, ewww. Did he have a Mrs. with him when he said it?
> 
> I haven't had this so much in the last few years, as our practice is kind of heavy towards kiddos, but the old men seemed to flirt with me a _lot_. And when they learned my name (an older, Bible name), some would get kind of fresh! Yes, it's flattering that you think I'm young and cute (I'm not so young anymore. . . maybe that's why??), but no thank you.


His wife wasn't with him this week while he was picking up his glasses, however he did tell me that his wife caught him cheating one time and it was not pretty. 
tmi dude, tmi.  I honestly couldn't tell if he was joking or not.  I am the old man magnet, and I suppose I always will be. I have never, ever attracted the cute younger guys.  I get the Medicaid patients and the old crusty guys.

----------


## AngeHamm

> His wife wasn't with him this week while he was picking up his glasses, however he did tell me that his wife caught him cheating one time and it was not pretty. 
> tmi dude, tmi. I honestly couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I am the old man magnet, and I suppose I always will be. I have never, ever attracted the cute younger guys. I get the Medicaid patients and the old crusty guys.


I feel your pain, OL. The older ladies LOVE me. Of course, I'm dating a much younger hottie, so I really can't complain when the older ladies flirt...

----------


## Crazy-bout-Optics

I had a mom in with her 3 young girls (ages 5-9) and one of the girls needed glasses. The mother spoke (what I could tell) Persian. And the little girls asked "My mom wants to know if we can catch any diseases with these frames?"  At first I thought it was a translation thing so I asked to clarify and she said "My mom is asking if we will get sick, or catch the flu from wearing glasses?"     

I almost wanted to say "Yes you will, the Doctor wants you to wear these glasses so you get sick."  :Help:

----------


## Striderswife

Stupid question of today: a lady walks in at 11:56 (we close at noon on Fridays), and says "I know you're about to close, but can I take another look at that frame you ordered for me in the different color?"  "WHAT??  NO, YOU CAN'T, NOW GO AWAY!" is what I really wanted to say.  Being the polite gal that I am, I let her look again, but stayed standing while she gazed at her reflection for a minute, indicating that I wasn't about to start a conversation about lenses, options, etc.  

When people ask what time do we close on Friday, I tell them we LEAVE at noon.  We take it seriously.  8~[

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Just tell 'em 11:30. We close at noon on Saturday and we tell people who call we close at 11:30 and still have to stay over sometimes.

----------


## Uncle Fester

> Just tell 'em 11:30. We close at noon on Saturday and we tell people who call we close at 11:30 and still have to stay over sometimes.


We close at 1 but notify and tell patients noon. The office manager doesn't want us to but guess who never works Saturdays!

----------


## Striderswife

I totally agree, but if it got back to my Doc, I don't think he'd like it.  By telling people we leave at noon (instead of just close at noon), hopefully that puts it in their head there's not a chance we will stick around a little bit after.  And I'm not ashamed to use my son as an excuse for "Sorry, I've gotta go."  Then people are a little more understanding.

----------


## Mactire

"Is it ok to wear my coloured contacts inside out? That way I like the colour better".

"Hi, I'd like to buy a screw? I'm going on vacation and I'd like a spare... Two? No one is fine. Why would I need two? I also have one spare tire in my car."

On the phone: "I got semen in my eye, is that a problem?" 

"Could you tell me what material this is? Acetate... can you give me a chemical breakdown?" (This turned out to be one of my coolest customers ever, amazing dude ^_^)

Question asked today: "I'd like a glare coating on these" ... sure...

"I've scratched my lens, can you buff the scratch out? No? Hmm..."
Next day: "I'd like a new lens, it appears you were right, you can't buff the scratch out" The guy buffed out most of the AR of his lens.

We have an old UV demo in the store, with a shiney button. Every now and the a guy (always a guy) presses it, the light flickers and he asks "what is this button for". Then my collegue replies, "Oh, that's the masculine button. If you press it you're defenetly a guy" You should see the look on their faces ^_^

A couple of years ago I worked in a different store. There I was a huge chick magnet, to bad they were beyond their sell by date. I've had several elderly woman holding my hand, "oh you're so charming". NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE ME HOME. NOW LET GO!

----------


## Aberdeen Angus

> Stupid question of today: a lady walks in at 11:56 (we close at noon on Fridays), and says "I know you're about to close, but can I take another look at that frame you ordered for me in the different color?"  "WHAT??  NO, YOU CAN'T, NOW GO AWAY!" is what I really wanted to say.  Being the polite gal that I am, I let her look again, but stayed standing while she gazed at her reflection for a minute, indicating that I wasn't about to start a conversation about lenses, options, etc.  
> 
> When people ask what time do we close on Friday, I tell them we LEAVE at noon.  We take it seriously.  8~[


Jeez, so it happens over there too.......

We always tell folks when the can collect their specs and STILL they turn up when they can't and get shirty because they can't. 

When they come back and they CAN get their specs, they invariably complain. When reminded that they were told the couldn't collect their glasses when they tried to, they always say "Yeah, but I didn't think you meant it"

 Err, why would we say it in the first place?

----------


## opty4062

Yes, Wes I realize this. I fit plenty of patients with cosmetically balanced lenses. This guy? Not one of those.  :)

----------


## Mactire

Gah, I understand that one needs to be client friendly, but there are limits. 
Closing time is closing time, I don't look at at minute more.

Imagine it the other way. Closing at 1745 when you normally close at 1800. That would be about the same. "Sorry, we don't feel like working till 1800 today, come back tomorrow"

I've had clien't bashing on the door in the morning, we open at 0930. Client comes by, everything dark in the shop, at 0830. When I came in at 0900 I heard banging, peeked around the corner to look in the shop... no way I went out in front! I mean come on, read the sign. Best is yet to come. When we open at 0930 (turned the lights on just seconds prior to that) the client explaned that she has been banging on the door since 0830 and nobody replied. When I asked if she knew what time we opened she replied that she had checked the website, and _knew_ that we open at 0930. But she felt that we should be open at 0830 so she came by...
Why she came by? And emergency, no, she wanted us to clean her glasses. Did she buy it at our shop? No. *......* 

I feel I'm really client friendly, my patience is well know aroud our shops, but this really ticks me off.

----------


## Wes

> Yes, Wes I realize this. I fit plenty of patients with cosmetically balanced lenses. This guy? Not one of those.  :)


No offense meant.

----------


## eyedude

Happened this week. Patient "Are my glasses ready" Optician "I can't find your order. When did you order them." Patient "I haven't ordered them yet"

----------


## eyedude

Years ago a patient said she went to sleep with a contact lens in her right eye and woke up with it in her left eye. She wanted to know if it could have gone under her skin to the other eye.

----------


## charan

patient : ' how much are glasses'? (i get this question atlest once a day)

Me: speechless, i never want to sound like a smart *** with my customers, i'm still yet to figure out what to tell them. *sigh*

----------


## bob_f_aboc

> patient : ' how much are glasses'? (i get this question atlest once a day)
> 
> Me: speechless, i never want to sound like a smart *** with my customers, i'm still yet to figure out what to tell them. *sigh*


Nearly everyone, except Craig, can use my standard answer to this question:  We should be able to keep it under $2500 per pair.

----------


## Striderswife

> Stupid question of today: a lady walks in at 11:56 (we close at noon on Fridays), and says "I know you're about to close, but can I take another look at that frame you ordered for me in the different color?"


Okay, I may have shot myself in the foot on this one.

Yesterday (Monday), I get a call from Miss I Know You're About to Close, saying she'd found frames she liked elsewhere, and they were less expensive, so I don't have to hold those frames for her anymore. Now, I'm not that broken-hearted, because now I don't have to follow up with her and fulfill her every need, but did I lose a sale because I didn't stay late on Friday?? Granted, she hasn't bought glasses (except OTC readers) from us since 2005, so it's not like she's spending money every year here. And I don't have any leeway for staying late, anyway (I gotta get home to be with our son so my husband can leave for work when I get there. It's just how it works for us). But I feel a little jilted, that she bought glasses somewhere else after sashaying in that day.

Okay, I've got it off my chest. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. Is there a smiley for a guy laying on a couch spilling his heart to a therapist??  :Happy:

----------


## Wes

> patient : ' how much are glasses'? (i get this question atlest once a day)
> 
> Me: speechless, i never want to sound like a smart *** with my customers, i'm still yet to figure out what to tell them. *sigh*


It's like asking how much is a car?  Do you want a Kia or a Bugatti or something in between?

----------


## Wes

Do you have any of the colored clear contacts?  

Do you want clear contacts with no color or do you want colored contacts that change the color of your eyes? 

Yes I want the ones I don't need a prescription for.

 Arrgh

----------


## Striderswife

Yeah, I love it when people tell me "clear" when they mean "plano."  Of course, the general public doesn't know this term, but Clear means Clear, as in, no pigment.  The alternative is tinted/polarized/photochromic.  I do my best to educate the pt without making them feel ignorant. . .

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> Okay, I may have shot myself in the foot on this one.
> 
> Yesterday (Monday), I get a call from Miss I Know You're About to Close, saying she'd found frames she liked elsewhere, and they were less expensive, so I don't have to hold those frames for her anymore. Now, I'm not that broken-hearted, because now I don't have to follow up with her and fulfill her every need, but did I lose a sale because I didn't stay late on Friday?? Granted, she hasn't bought glasses (except OTC readers) from us since 2005, so it's not like she's spending money every year here. And I don't have any leeway for staying late, anyway (I gotta get home to be with our son so my husband can leave for work when I get there. It's just how it works for us). But I feel a little jilted, that she bought glasses somewhere else after sashaying in that day.
> 
> Okay, I've got it off my chest. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. Is there a smiley for a guy laying on a couch spilling his heart to a therapist??


Close.


Closer.

----------


## Wes

> Yeah, I love it when people tell me "clear" when they mean "plano."  Of course, the general public doesn't know this term, but Clear means Clear, as in, no pigment.  The alternative is tinted/polarized/photochromic.  I do my best to educate the pt without making them feel ignorant. . .


Me too but it sure can be difficult, bless their hearts.  Next is the conversation explaining that a prescription actually is required.

----------


## Striderswife

> Closer.


Is that smiley trying to seduce me??





> Me too but it sure can be difficult, bless their hearts. Next is the conversation explaining that a prescription actually is required.


Wow, I'd forgotten about that point (I haven't had to have that conversation in a while). You have to explain that they need a doctor to determine that no Rx is necessary in the first place. If we make plano glasses, and they actually do need correction, and go have a wreck because of it, we're liable, right?? That's the angle I've used.

----------


## chip anderson

Actually plano is a Spainish word meaning flat, level, plane. Also has a definition of: masculine noun (I have no clue what's up with that.
For us a plano used to mean a flat lens surface, later ment a zero (flat) power. Too bad so many labs say they can't even grind a plano surface anymore.

Chip

Don't think you are liable for grinding a plano lens (what ya gonna do, get the PD wrong).   Suspect an optician can grind any lens he wants to or is asked to as long as it is not designated as being for a specific patient.    Where's the liability in grinding a magnifier, or telescope lens or whatever.   As long as no one says it's for specific use as an eyeglass, it's just a lens.

Chip

----------


## finefocus

> Wow, I'd forgotten about that point (I haven't had to have that conversation in a while). You have to explain that they need a doctor to determine that no Rx is necessary in the first place. If we make plano glasses, and they actually do need correction, and go have a wreck because of it, we're liable, right?? That's the angle I've used.


It isn't the power for which they need a prescription (as opposed to a specification); because it's a contact lens, which is regulated as if it were a drug, they need an Rx. Forget whether they can see, the question is whether their ocular health will be compromised.

----------


## Striderswife

> It isn't the power for which they need a prescription (as opposed to a specification); because it's a contact lens, which is regulated as if it were a drug, they need an Rx. Forget whether they can see, the question is whether their ocular health will be compromised.


Oh, I totally understand about a CL Rx, for plano lenses.  I was actually referring to plano glasses, as if someone wanted to pay $346 so they could have fancy-schmancy glasses with JUICY on the side.  I'd never really been told differently (although plano sunglasses in an ophthalmic frame were never an issue. . .).  Now I'm thinking back to wherever I'd heard it in the first place. . .  o_O

----------


## KStraker

A lady called and wanted to make an appt to see the obstetrician. I told her we usually work on the other end, but can take a look if you want.

----------


## Uncle Fester

[/QUOTE] Is  there a smiley for a guy laying on a couch spilling his heart to a  therapist??[/QUOTE]

He's a board certified therapist...Got the degree from the internet!

Closer.


He's not laying on the couch---yet. :Wink: 
Or did you want to be lying on a therapists couch?

----------


## Wes

Psychotherapists aren't fooling me.  I know what they're about.  Talk about hiding in plain sight.  Psycho/the/rapist.

----------


## pseudonym

"Buy One Get One Free... Is that the same as half off?"

----------


## optilady1

"Are these glasses transitions?"

"Do they turn color outside?"

"I don't know."

Le sigh.

----------


## Wes

No, they're transgressions.

----------


## Wes

If I get 50% off and then 50% off the remaining price, it's free, right?

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> If I get 50% off and then 50% off the remaining price, it's free, right?


That's how you get free auto insurance - just keep changing companies and saving $500 each time, pretty soon, it's free, right?

----------


## finefocus

Right, you buy it with the half you saved.

----------


## pezfaerie

> If I get 50% off and then 50% off the remaining price, it's free, right?


But 2 for the price of 3 and get one free! ;)

----------


## opty4062

"I have a credit on my account for some contacts I returned. Can you call over to *insert big box retailer here* and tell them so I can use the credit there?"

----------


## Wes

> "I have a credit on my account for some contacts I returned. Can you call over to *insert big box retailer here* and tell them so I can use the credit there?"


No way!
I think we have a winner!

----------


## optilady1

> "i have a credit on my account for some contacts i returned. Can you call over to *insert big box retailer here* and tell them so i can use the credit there?"



omg

----------


## optilady1

"You'll never believe this, but someone left this case AND the glasses on my mom's lawn, so I thought I'd use them for my new rx."

Not a teenager, but an older lady with 5 carats of diamonds on her hands.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Do you guys honor Lenscrafters' warranty?

----------


## optilady1

Had a patient come in to get a repair and he left to go to another dr's appt.  He came right back in and asked if we had a loaner pair while he was gone.  I gave him a pair of readers from our cat. surg. kits, but I mean really, do we look like a car dealership?

----------


## Wes

> Had a patient come in to get a repair and he left to go to another dr's appt.  He came right back in and asked if we had a loaner pair while he was gone.  I gave him a pair of readers from our cat. surg. kits, but I mean really, do we look like a car dealership?


Maybe we do!  From his point of view, we offer deep discounts on products, buy one get one half off and the like, we advertise lowball unrealistic prices only to try to upsell "unneeded options" afterward.  We can never quote a price for "how much is a pair of glasses?" over the phone. Some of us even have a credit department.

----------


## chip anderson

In the day's before implants we used to keep lots of +2.50 readers for loaner use so the patients (elderly ones were often lookng for an excuse to give up during adaptation) wouldn't say:  "I didn't wear them because I couldn't read."   Of course there was money in contacts back then.

Chip

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## anthonyf1509

Maybe we do!  From his point of view, we offer deep discounts on products, buy one get one half off and the like, we advertise lowball unrealistic prices only to try to upsell "unneeded options" afterward.  We can never quote a price for "how much is a pair of glasses?" over the phone. Some of us even have a credit department.[/QUOTE]

+1

Customer plucks a pair of sunglasses off frame board, tries them on, takes off and looks at tag, and then summons me over (while I'm clearly assisting another).
" $299? Is that the real price?  They're just sunglasses. "
"I'm glad you asked. No, that's the fake price we're hoping the idiot public will pay us, but you're much too savvy. Those are 110% off because they're 'just' sunglasses. "
"No thanks. But take MY business card- I specialize in full price carpet/installation, you should remodel."
Love it!

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## Wes

"Does insurance cover loss?"
It's not *that* kind of insurance. 
"What about my warranty?"
Do you really expect that we warrant the glasses against you losing them? How will you prove they were lost/stolen? File a police report?
"Other places warrant against loss"
No they don't. 
"Why should I have to pay for another pair?"
Are you really this stupid?

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## optilady1

I had a lady who broke a discontinued Valentino frame, who thinks that safilo should buy her a new pair of glasses.  Where does the entitlement attitude come from? She kept saying, what am I supposed to do?  I felt like saying, you buy a new pair you jerk!  Of course this is the same lady who wanted to exchange her clear vision core frame for anything else she wanted regardless of cost because she had already spent so much.

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## RIMLESS

Where does the entitlement attitude come from?


I believe it comes courtesy of Walmart!!!!!!!!!!!

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## chip anderson

Actually I think the _entitlement mentality_ came from Franklin Delano Rosevelt.   Further strengthened by  Lendon Baines Johnson and all subsequent members of the DNC.

Chip

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## pseudonym

> Actually I think the _entitlement mentality_ came from Franklin Delano Rosevelt.


Baloney. Entitlement mentality came from glasses being offered to the masses. Prior to big box, they had to behave themselves, save up, and buy their glasses at an optical where they don't have toilet paper in aisle 8. Shoppers wave their membership cards aroud like it's a magic talisman: "I pay to shop in this store and I demand the red carper be rolled out whenever I walk in."

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## DragonLensmanWV

> Actually I think the _entitlement mentality_ came from Franklin Delano Rosevelt.   Further strengthened by  Lendon Baines Johnson and all subsequent members of the DNC.
> 
> Chip


This is for stupid QUESTIONS.

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## harry a saake

Just happened today, lady walked in and asked me if she could get a no line bifocal without the lines

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## optilady1

CLASSIC

"Oh, I didn't know you sell glasses."

No, we're a ******* bagel shop.

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## Wes

Lights on, people browsing. Me: appropriately attired, with identifying name badge.  "Are you open?" Yes. "Do you work here?" Sigh. I'll bet you have insurance that I can look up too...

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## Wes

One day I was writing up an order with a pt.  Had another waiting because I was by myself at the time.  A man wandered in and interrupted us, boisterously proclaiming: *"I need my glasses cleaned!"* -and then holding them out between the lady and myself.
"Yes sir, I'll take care of that for you.  If you'll just sit right down there, I'll be with you as soon as I finish helping this person and the one waiting in line behind her.  It may be a half hour or more, so if you don't want to wait, you can leave them here and come back later, or you can open that box of pre-moistened wipes and take care of it yourself."  What goes through my mind is: "do you want me to brush your teeth and wipe your butt too?" (Do people go into the dentist or the proctologist with that attitude?)

Yes, I could have ignored his rudeness and put him ahead of the people with manners, but I feel that only enables rude helpless jerks to be even more rude and helpless.  The customer is not always right, and this fellow wasn't even a customer (ray-ban frames, which we don't carry)!
He cleaned them, and left.  As he walked out, both of the ladies went on about how rude the guy was.

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## NCspecs

> CLASSIC
> 
> "Oh, I didn't know you sell glasses."
> 
> No, we're a ******* bagel shop.


Thanks for the giggle! I needed that! :Giggle:

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## Wes

> CLASSIC
> 
> "Oh, I didn't know you sell glasses."
> 
> No, we're a ******* bagel shop.


You should sell donuts.  More people like donuts.

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## finefocus

> You should sell donuts. More people like donuts.


And if the hole is small enough, you can see really well through them.

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## pseudonym

"Here's my prescription and there are the glasses I want. Can you do it fast? I have frozen food in my cart."

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## optilady1

Here's my stupid question.  How did we put men on the moon, if the good people planet earth haven't figured out how to clean their own eyeglasses?

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## CME4SPECS

Customer: Hey Terry, I'm Joe...you've made my glasses before. He lays a few papers on the desk. 
Customer: I'm ordering some glasses on line. Will you go over this and make sure I have it filled out right?
Terry: Joe, if you are ordering glasses on line...you are on your own!
Customer: OH...I understand...turns around and walks out.
WTF is the matter with people??!!

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## Wes

I went to dominos yesterday.  I asked if they'd give me the # to pizza hut and let me use their phone to make an order.  When they looked at me like I was stupid, I said, "just kidding, I'm here to pick up a carryout for Wes.  Large pepperoni and mushroom."

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## WFruit

> I went to dominos yesterday.  I asked if they'd give me the # to pizza hut and let me use their phone to make an order.  When they looked at me like I was stupid, I said, "just kidding, I'm here to pick up a carryout for Wes.  Large pepperoni and mushroom."


Nice.  Another good one is to call someone and ask them for their phone number.

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## optilady1

I love when patients ask you if they have enough on their credit card to pay for their purchase.

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## optilady1

Pt: I only wear reading glasses, so can you tell me how much they would be with this frame? 
Me: Sure, you price is $xyz.
Pt: What kind of lenses are you giving me?
Me: Well, you stated that you wear strictly reading glasses, so I priced you out for single vision reading lenses.
Pt: But what about progressives?  Don't you think I need those?
Me: #$@@%!!!!!!

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## chip anderson

Have you axed youself why the Skunkworks could build a 3000 mile per hour airplane and fly it for 50 years out of titanium but frame manufacters can't make a frame that will last 5 years out of the same stuff?

Chip

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## DragonLensmanWV

Pilots are far more careful of their planes than people are of their glasses.

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## optilady1

"Do you know how to adjust glasses?"

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## pseudonym

Frame board light is off. Two giant signs are up that say "we reopen at" with the big hand at 12 and the little hand at 10.  Plastic chain link surrounding optical is up. I've hung my lab coat up and busy balancing the register tape and EOD books. 

"Are you closed?"

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## anthonyf1509

> Frame board light is off. Two giant signs are up that say "we reopen at" with the big hand at 12 and the little hand at 10.  Plastic chain link surrounding optical is up. I've hung my lab coat up and busy balancing the register tape and EOD books. 
> 
> "Are you closed?"


+1!

As I'm outside locking door, man approaches. Reads hours on door, checks his watch, re-reads door, turns head slightly to left..."what time do you close??"
I look at my watch "10 minutes ago."
"Oh ok...can you adjust these?"

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## chip anderson

Odd, I've always been one to let them in after hours and  do whatever.  When I worked in a doctor's office and did this, if we ran anything beyond closing time (or sometimes anything close to) the ladies in the reception/bookkeeping area would start closing doors and slamming cabinets as though this would make me rush whatever needed done.
On the other side when there was no one at the reception area or the patient thought you were running a little late, I thought of recording all the sounds (coughs, and the like) that patients would make to Subtilly let you know they were either here and/or impatient.

Chip

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## anthonyf1509

> Odd, I've always been one to let them in after hours and  do whatever.  When I worked in a doctor's office and did this, if we ran anything beyond closing time (or sometimes anything close to) the ladies in the reception/bookkeeping area would start closing doors and slamming cabinets as though this would make me rush whatever needed done.
> On the other side when there was no one at the reception area or the patient thought you were running a little late, I thought of recording all the sounds (coughs, and the like) that patients would make to Subtilly let you know they were either here and/or impatient.
> 
> Chip


True true, not now that I've got a 14 month and 3 months old kids at home and a 60 mile commute...get your *** here on time.

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## Striderswife

> True true, not now that I've got a 14 month and 3 months old kids at home and a 60 mile commute...get your *** here on time.


I'm kind of in the same boat, except I have to go pick up our son at the sitter's house.  She is understanding if I don't get to leave on time, and it's not like daycare where they charge you an extra $50 if you're late.  But to me, it's _infinitely_ rude for someone to keep me late, so I'm late to the sitter's.  It's not fair to her that she has to postpone her family's evening because someone was inconsiderate enough to show up and expect service at closing time.  

I hate to have to ever do this, but just Thursday evening we had a patient (a little girl, and her grandmother with her) whose exam was done about 5:15, and spent a few minutes looking at frames while I was finishing with another patient (the office closes at 5:30).  I did play the sitter card, but I also expressed that they deserved as much time as they needed without feeling rushed, for the girl to be able to take her time and get something she really wanted.  I wanted to give them the attention they certainly deserved.  I think they were appreciative of my concern, and said they'd be back in the morning, with no hard feelings.  I was tactful and respectful, even in turning them away.  It can be done gently, and you don't have to lose a patient over it.

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## markallen

what is the refractive index of belly button lint under water 
that is the real question

----------


## Happylady

I often get people who are truly surprised that there is more then one progressive. :Rolleyes: 

Just had a lady this week who said just that "there is more then one progressive?"

I WANT to bop them on the head (but that could only make them stupider). What I say is something like "Yes, there are over a hundred different progressives, plus all those progressives come in different materials. It's like cars, TVs or almost anything you can buy."

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## FullCircle

> Pilots are far more careful of their planes than people are of their glasses.


No truer words have been spoken. lol!

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## Wes

> I often get people who are truly surprised that there is more then one progressive.
> 
> Just had a lady this week who said just that "there is more then one progressive?"
> 
> I WANT to bop them on the head (but that could only make them stupider). What I say is something like "Yes, there are over a hundred different progressives, plus all those progressives come in different materials. It's like cars, TVs or almost anything you can buy."


I swear, some people only seem to understand if it's explained by referencing automobiles. 
How much are glasses? How much is a car? Do you want a hoopty, or a Bentley, or something in between? There are many car (lens) manufacturers, they have many different models (designs) and each model (design) comes in several trim levels (materials) and with many different options (AR, photochromic, polarization...) Do you need safety or heavy duty(GMC 3500), sports (Jeep), do you want flashy (Ferrari), demure (Toyota), or something in between (Audi)?

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## AngeHamm

Mad props to Wes for using the word "hoopty."

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## cleyes

HaHa! For years I've been telling men not to do their glasses what they wouldn't do to their Lamborghini's paint job.....it's the only way they understand cleaning glasses! :)

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## Wes

Yep. You wouldn't wash your car with a dry dirty rag, would you?

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## idispense

Why do they bring in their scratched and gouged glasses and keep asking me how that happened , how would I know ? I wasn't there!

Please explain to me how the scratch that got on their glasses when I was not there is somehow my fault ? 

Lately, I just ask them "Was I there when your lenses got that scratch ? " They look puzzled with that response and I keep it up till they start scratching their heads then I say "WOW, Look at that big red mark on your head ... how did that get there ? "

If they still continue the insanity, I ask them how that footprint got on their backside , when they turn to look I now see a window of opportunity ....




AS any reader of my posts will know, I believe in doing my part for Continuing Education .

----------


## Fezz

> Why do they bring in their scratched and gouged glasses and keep asking me how that happened , how would I know ? I wasn't there!


I get that one and want to reach across the table and give them a* Slap Chop!*

----------


## idispense

Ee

----------


## Pogu

My boss asked me if the lensometer reads in plus or minus cyl the other day.  :Eek:

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## opty4062

> My boss asked me if the lensometer reads in plus or minus cyl the other day.


Heee, did you just say, "Yes." ?

----------


## chip anderson

I have never used or had access to one, but do autorefractors have button for + or - cylinder refraction?

Chip

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## opty4062

> I have never used or had access to one, but do autorefractors have button for + or - cylinder refraction?
> 
> Chip


The one I use reads in minus cyl only.

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## Striderswife

The one I used had a Transpose button.  You could read in either + or -, then transpose to the opposite sign.

I always preferred the old dinosaur kind where you had to know math to use them. . .

----------


## Wes

So this is not exactly a stupid question, but it did seem pretty stupid...

A mom comes in to purchase contacts for her adult daughter.  
me:  "Do you want a 6 month supply? She has roughly 6 months left on her RX."
her: takes phone out, calls daughter; speaks on bluetooth earpiece; gets confused in discussion with daughter; pulls wax-encrusted bluetooth earpiece from ear and tries to hand it to me.  "Here, you just talk to her."
me: "I am NOT putting that in my ear."
her: oh...  She'll take a 6 month supply.

----------


## Java99

My mother was helping me do inventory, and by that I mean she was trying on all the frames.  This woman has worn glasses since about 1960 and has been listening to my optical gripes since 1998.  She puts on a Vera Cruz frame with the Komen pink ribbon on the demo lens.  "I like it but I can't see through the ribbon, do I have to have it on there?" Unreal.  I just stared at her and kept scanning frames.

----------


## uncut

> My mother was helping me do inventory, and by that I mean she was trying on all the frames.  This woman has worn glasses since about 1960 and has been listening to my optical gripes since 1998.  She puts on a Vera Cruz frame with the Komen pink ribbon on the demo lens.  "I like it but I can't see through the ribbon, do I have to have it on there?" Unreal.  I just stared at her and kept scanning frames.


You have *just failed* parental test #499.............how smart is my child, currently? :Eek:

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## pseudonym

> pulls wax-encrusted bluetooth earpiece from ear and tries to hand it to me.  "Here, you just talk to her."


Don't you just love people who let you do all the computer inputs, then pull out their cell to call the person who's got the credit card? I've had them hand me their phone plenty of times but not the earpiece. Ewwwwwww.

----------


## optilady1

> So this is not exactly a stupid question, but it did seem pretty stupid...
> 
> A mom comes in to purchase contacts for her adult daughter. 
> me: "Do you want a 6 month supply? She has roughly 6 months left on her RX."
> her: takes phone out, calls daughter; speaks on bluetooth earpiece; gets confused in discussion with daughter; pulls wax-encrusted bluetooth earpiece from ear and tries to hand it to me. "Here, you just talk to her."
> me: "I am NOT putting that in my ear."
> her: oh... She'll take a 6 month supply.



so gross.  And definitely stupid.

----------


## RIMLESS

How about this one:  "My father got these glasses about 7 months ago, but he just passed away.  He never really saw good out of them so can we get his money back?"

----------


## Java99

> How about this one:  "My father got these glasses about 7 months ago, but he just passed away.  He never really saw good out of them so can we get his money back?"


OMG.  What do you even say to that?

----------


## Wes

> OMG. What do you even say to that?


I previously mentioned one like this a few months ago.  A lady was looking for a frame for a recently deceased relative that was to be buried; asked me if she could return it after.  Yuck.

----------


## pseudonym

> I previously mentioned one like this a few months ago.  A lady was looking for a frame for a recently deceased relative that was to be buried; asked me if she could return it after.  Yuck.


If the problem is visual and the glasses are verified correct, then maybe a doctor recheck is in order. If they said what they said with a straight face, then you can say this with one.

----------


## pseudonym

Another one: 

Lady comes in to pick up her glasses. I pull out the reading card and start getting arranged for the fitting. 

"Does it matter if I have my contact lenses in?"

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## gordmac

> OMG.  What do you even say to that?


The Reply is: " Our company's policy is refunds are allotted to the patient who purchased them. So bring him in and have him request a refund and we will be happy to oblige".

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## jcasowder

A great one that happened a couple weeks ago:

A young lady (and I use that term loosely) came in to pick up her 6 month supply of contacts.
me (placing the boxes in a bag for her): Here you go! The boxes are already marked "right" and "left" for you. 
patient: Is it my right or your right?

Seriously, where do these people COME FROM?!?!?!?    :Banghead:

----------


## SeaU2020

> If things appear backwards in the mirror, why arn't they upside down?


That only happens with spoons!

----------


## EyeManDan

A Patient missed and appointment that was scheduled 3 months out, she was on vacation.  upon coming in and questing our message about missing her appointment.  She proceeded to ask us Why she would schedule an appointment when she was on vacation.  She was not stating a rhetorical statement.  wanted and actual answer.

I had an answer for her but figured some questions should not be answered.

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## optilady1

This was great.  My co-worker answered the phone and a lady asked if we knew the number to the online sight she ordered glasses from.  I've never tried crack, but man she must-a been smoking some good stuff.

----------


## SeaU2020

I just had a patient call me upset that I sent her a post card to let her know her glasses were ready. 
I told her that the number I had on file was disconnected.
So I asked for the correct number and she replied, "oh, it's a new number and I can't remember it! I'll give it to you when I come in"

----------


## KiaABOC

Has anyone ever heard of clear polarized lenses?

----------


## Judy Canty

Does not exist.  Lightly tinted, yes, but not clear.  Not a stupid question at all.  It comes up every so often.

----------


## John@OWDC

I believe that Essilor might disagree with that statement...

Their Advantage is supposed to be a true Transitions branded lens that can go from clear to a dark with variable polarization.

It was supposed to be the next big thing and revolutionize the entire industry but it just sort of fizzled away...

----------


## Judy Canty

Transitions Vantage is not clear in its unactivated state.

----------


## CME4SPECS

it is not polarized until activated

----------


## John@OWDC

I did not say that I disagreed with that statement! (I do)
 :Smile: 
I said that Essilor might disagree with that statement!
 :Smile: 
Just like they might disagree with, "is not clear in its unactivated state."
 :Smile:

----------


## Judy Canty

> I did not say that I disagreed with that statement! (I do)
> 
> I said that Essilor might disagree with that statement!
> 
> Just like they might disagree with, "is not clear in its unactivated state."


They may well disagree with me, but I'm an experienced Optician who now reps for an independent lab.  My reputation is the only currency I have and I don't waste it.   :Wink:

----------


## Wes

> They may well disagree with me, but I'm an experienced Optician who now reps for an independent lab.  My reputation is the only currency I have and I don't waste it.


I haven't seen one but I've heard somewhere they transmitted roughly 95%.  Does that sound accurate?

----------


## Judy Canty

I'd have to measure a pair.  I know I replaced mine because I was not comfortable with the un-activated tint.  My guess would be more like 90-95%.  I'll let you know.

----------


## nicksims

Aaaaaannnnnnnnddd, back to the thread. 
This one kills me every so often...
Patient: "I like this frame. But does it come in this color?" 
Me: "Why yes, it does."
Patient: "Oh, and does it come in this size? Ya' know what, can I get it in a different shape? Maybe plastic instead of metal?" 
Me: "Well how about this frame that is in this color, size..."
Patient: "No thanks. I really like this first frame."    :Banghead:

----------


## SeaU2020

> My mother was helping me do inventory, and by that I mean she was trying on all the frames.  This woman has worn glasses since about 1960 and has been listening to my optical gripes since 1998.  She puts on a Vera Cruz frame with the Komen pink ribbon on the demo lens.  "I like it but I can't see through the ribbon, do I have to have it on there?" Unreal.  I just stared at her and kept scanning frames.


On that same vein I have ladies who are upset that they DON'T get the Vera Bradley crystal on their lenses like the demos.

----------


## Alan W

I need help from a fellow Ancient Alien..... In Los Angeles cir 1970 the optical biz was dominated by my ex-boss Russell Stimson/Superior Optical Co.and another big shot who sold out to US Steel. If my decaying memory serves me the name sprague pops up. Who is still alive who can help me refresh?   Thank you. Alan

----------


## Alan W

Yes. I had several pair. I was fortunate to know John Davis at AO at the time. So, I got a few pair. However, as I recall, the Army bought the entire inventory and no more was sold.. But, what do I know? They were exceptional before they delaminated. The had all kinds of attributes, though. I still believe they would be incredibly useful in reducing visual fatigue especially at night....that is when you didnt see two of everything from internal reflection. Great lens!!!!!

----------


## Alan W

Leave it alone ....you'll probably spend it he wont have a leg to stand on!!

----------


## Happylady

> I haven't seen one but I've heard somewhere they transmitted roughly 95%.  Does that sound accurate?


i think I've read that regular Transisiton lenses are about 95% with AR. And I could swear I remember reading  Xtractive has a 17% tint when it's unactivated. I have a sample of the Vantage and it looks very similar to the Xtractive.

----------


## COMEINPEACE

no so much stupid as ballzy 
a walk in asked me to order a rayban style for him, so he could try it on, before he purchased it on overstock..just to make absolutely sure he liked it..
i told him SURE I WILL!!!, infact let me OVERNIGHT IT FOR YOU!!

----------


## Wayne

:Nerd: Do I measure the pupillary Distance for a customer requiring Plano

----------


## Alan W

> If things appear backwards in the mirror, why arn't they upside down?


They are upside down. You're sitting on your head!!!!! You need to stand up before you get a terrible headache.

----------


## Alan W

> Do I measure the pupillary Distance for a customer requiring Plano


Accordig to my calculations your customer is eventually going to become presbyopic. If you dont take the PD now, you, too, will turn presbyopic, in which case if you try to take a PD when that happens, you wont be able to see your PD ruler yourself and it will then become a case of the blind leading the blind!!!!

----------


## Alan W

Never mind. It was George Spratt.

----------


## becc971

"I never do anything to my glasses.  they go right into my case and then I leave it on the dash of my car since I only need them to drive!!"  

okay maybe not a stupid question ... but seriously.  :Stomp: Just had that conversation last week

----------


## OptifiedNikki

OMG OMG ... Someone just now just came in and asked me "Do I need glasses?" This is the first time we have met.

----------

