# Optical Forums > General Optics and Eyecare Discussion Forum >  What Is The Stupidest Question You Have Been Asked

## mrmac

I Still Get A Headache When I Try To Figure Out What She Was Looking For When A Customer Asked  " Do Metal Frames Come In Plastic ? "

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## High_Abbe

Sometimes you have to read between the lines with customers.  If I were you I would have shown her some of the new "flat" metals.....they're metal but with a thicker than usual eyewire, giving it a "plastic" look.

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## SpecialT

It isn't necessarily so stupid, but the one that cracks me up over and over is this...

Doc, why do my eyes feel soooo heavy?

You just have to be in the south to understand how funny that can sound!:D

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## rj_gonzales

My personal favorite is "Is the obsetritian in today?":hammer:

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## GOS_Queen

> My personal favorite is "Is the obsetritian in today?":hammer:


I especially love it when it's a man asking this one ... ;)

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## chip anderson

Had an opthalmologist tell me: "I'm not a prism man, can't you do it with de-centration."

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## Glock

Do you change watch batteries?

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## Chris Ryser

Can you tighten my arms please

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## Johns

I know these glasses aren't right because I can't see out of them, and neither can my wife !  


:hammer: :hammer:

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## rj_gonzales

_Patient puts specs on dispensing table and points out that one temple is a little higher than the other....._"My glasses are crooked. Can you fix that?"

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## For-Life

*Walks into the office full of inventory.  Looks us straight in the eye and asks "do you guys sell glasses?"

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## Lady Nicole

I'm new in my office, and the patients don't know me yet. Add to that that I am a little bit younger, and many of them don't believe that I am qualified. Some of them even refuse to let me help them, and insist on being seen by the other optician. The most common question I hear is, "I need to get my prescription filled. Do you know how to do that?"

:angry:

I guess several years full time experience and ABO certification isn't enough.

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## kaypaula

What about this:  The medicine ran out of my glasses.   I think that one is an ethnic maybe even geographical one, but I get it from time to time-- down here in the South :)


Paula

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## just eyes

I can't believe it.  All of these professional opticians and nobody has mentioned the best one of all..... How much is a screw?

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## Aarlan

"The Medicine fell out of my glasses cuz I Can't see so well...Can you put the medicine back into my glasses?"



AA

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## Lady Nicole

> I can't believe it. All of these professional opticians and nobody has mentioned the best one of all..... How much is a screw?


And of course, "I think I have a screw loose"

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## Karenrp1956

How about "I need a screw"?

Also, I had a man tell me that when he put on his glasses  one temple went infront of his side burns and the other went in back.

Also an older woman of an interesting look, came in and told me she wanted to look younger, prettier and sexier.  She wanted RED round frames.  What do you do? :Eek:

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## mrmac

Uncle Fester may remember when a woman came and asked us to repair her zyl frame that she had boiled in water for 10 minutes because she dropped them on the ground and they landed near some spit.The mass of plastic no longer resembled a frame.

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## ziggy

Durning a I&R I ask the patient " so how do they feel" the response is " Like I have something in my eye, can you check?"

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## Spexvet

Q: "why do all the frames you have look the same?" A: "you mean you can't tell the difference between this black plastic 54 eye aviator double bridge frame and this Silhouette rimless 48 eye oval? You really do need new glasses!"

Q: "what's the difference between my old prescription and my new one" A: "half a diopter" reponse: "what does that mean" :hammer: 

Q: "Does my insurance cover this?" A: "uh....what kind of GD insurance do you have, like I'm supposed to know already" response: "I dunno....it's like vision... something"

Q: "what's this green stuff on my eyepieces? A: "face cheese. Try cleaning your glasses more than once a week, dirtbag"

Q: "do my glasses need adjusting?" A: "if you need to ask, the answer is: no, they don't"

Rant officially over :o

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## chm2023

Not optical in nature, but still pretty funny:  in my misspent youth, worked in a rather upscale restaurant.  Customers would come up to me:  "Do you a restroom?"  Or at home, guest comes up and asks "Where do you keep your ice?"

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## Karenrp1956

> Q: "why do all the frames you have look the same?" A: "you mean you can't tell the difference between this black plastic 54 eye aviator double bridge frame and this Silhouette rimless 48 eye oval? You really do need new glasses!"
> 
> Q: "what's the difference between my old prescription and my new one" A: "half a diopter" reponse: "what does that mean" :hammer: 
> 
> Q: "Does my insurance cover this?" A: "uh....what kind of GD insurance do you have, like I'm supposed to know already" response: "I dunno....it's like vision... something"
> 
> Q: "what's this green stuff on my eyepieces? A: "face cheese. Try cleaning your glasses more than once a week, dirtbag"
> 
> Q: "do my glasses need adjusting?" A: "if you need to ask, the answer is: no, they don't"
> ...


 
great questions!  All which I have heard also.  How about "How much are colored glasses?"  Is that politcally correct?

Also, not a question, but  when the kids (and adults) say that they want "these ones"  Have they quit teaching Grammar in school?

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## rj_gonzales

> say that they want "these ones"


God, I love that. LOL


Saddest comment I've ever heard is as follows...

14 year old girl looking for first pair of glasses: "Dad, what do you think of these?"

***hole Dad too busy to get off the cell phone: "Sweetie, I don't think anybody looks good in glasses."

:drop:

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## C-10

How about the one someone phones in can you fix my glasses

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## Lynne

> "The Medicine fell out of my glasses cuz I Can't see so well...Can you put the medicine back into my glasses?"
> 
> 
> 
> AA


Over here its "my glasses lost their power"!:cheers:

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## C-10

Phone rings and conversation goes like this

Hello 



Hello I have lost a lens out of my glasses can you replace it?



Did you purchase your glasses from us?

No, I got them somewhere else and I do not know where.

Do you have your prescription?

I just want to know if you can replace my lens 

I can replace your lens but I need your prescription.

Bang Slam mmm mmm the line goes dead

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## Karenrp1956

Do we deal with intelligent people or what? :Rolleyes:

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## fjpod

How 'bout the ones who ask for Variflux Transmissionals.

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## For-Life

Last week I had someone looking at the Bolles.  He picked out a model that was polarized and had a back side AR.  He liked them a lot.  He said that his doctor told him that he has a medical problem with the light and vision and needed presciption sunglasses.  He gives me a presciption that essentially says that he needs presciption sunglasses, but no RX.  I did not recognize the doctor then recognized that it was a MD, his family doctor.  I told him this is not an RX for suns, but instead something saying that he need an RX for suns.  He then told me that he doubts he needs a RX.  I said I do not know, but the doctor said you do and you should get your eyes examined.  He then says that he does not want to because his plan only covers him once every two years and he had one three months ago.  I said that we could use that one.

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## mrmac

do you carry polybicarbonate lenses.

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## kaypaula

> I can't believe it. All of these professional opticians and nobody has mentioned the best one of all..... How much is a screw?


and just today I caught myself saying, "Dang, I need a bigger screw."


Paula

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## optigrrl

Stupidest question, and I seem to get this one periodically:


"Why do my glasses move up and down when I do this?" (Pt. is moving glasses up and down with their hands)

On an aside, this doesn't pertain to stupid questions but I feel it must be said, but don't you hate it when a patient comes in, opens a battered eyeglass case to show you frame catastrophe and they say: "I opened up the case, and the glasses were just like this!"

(I actually told a customer once that I would fix up the glasses and replace the case...it MUST be defective.)
:drop:

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## Framebender

who came in today for an adjustment and wanted to know at what altitude deer became elk.  We could tell she was a tourist!

 :hammer:

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## Happylady

I had a woman this week complain that her lenses never seemed clean, they had AR. I asked her how she washed them and she asked me" I am supposed to wash them?" She had NEVER washed them. She just wiped them with her never washed cloth.

I told her to rinse them and use mild soap or AR cleaner.

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## spartus

"Can you buff these scratches out?"

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## optigrrl

"Can you buff these scratches out?"


LOL - forgot about that one!

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## spartus

I just thought up a new answer to that question: "Yes, but it costs (cost of replacement lenses) and takes 7 working days. Or you could just order replacement lenses for these. Takes 7 working days."

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## optigrrl

brilliant!

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## edKENdance

How about when the patient holds a pair of glasses up beside their face and asks how they look on her?

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## Cindy Hamlin

My favorite:



*Do you have an obstetrician* _(OB, cause I am sure I spelled it wrong)_* on duty to check my eyes?* :hammer: 


If they have eyes there they have much bigger problems then my OB/OD can handle!  :Eek:

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## Spexvet

"How much does a pair of glasses cost?"

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## GOS_Queen

> I just thought up a new answer to that question: "Yes, but it costs (cost of replacement lenses) and takes 7 working days. Or you could just order replacement lenses for these. Takes 7 working days."


 
Ahh... man .... that is awesome ...  I want to use that one just one !  Dang ...

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## Nettie

How about "I need some contacts"....slaps down a glasses rx on the counter.  I just take a deep breath before I respond, hoping they just gave me the wrong rx and do not really think that glasses and contacts are the same rx.

Or when they hand you their glasses and say "just get the rx from these.  I have had these 15 years but I know my eyes haven't changed".

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## hcjilson

True story with many witnesses.

Upon walking into my office I was greeted by one of my employees. "Harry, did you get the message that I was supposed to give you?"

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## amoura_0

> I Still Get A Headache When I Try To Figure Out What She Was Looking For When A Customer Asked " Do Metal Frames Come In Plastic ? "


 :Eek:  :hammer: :D :bbg: 
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahaha
omg i can't breath

have people gone crazy??

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## harry a saake

I actually had a lady walk into the dispensary, while crowded, no less, and ask me if we had any of those BISEXUAL frames. Everyone just cracked up.

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## birdylove

Just yesterday:  "My sunglasses work great outside, but I can barely see when I wear them inside.  Why is this?"  Luckily, my coworker got that one, so I could hide in the back and try to supress my laughter...

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## frank

If a patient hands me a new rx and I see they are wearing progressive lenses, I'll ask them if they want no line bifocals again (they have no idea what progressive lenses are).  They will say, "but I wear trifocals."  

Was measuring a lady one time for a bifocal and she had her head tilted to high.  I asked her to lower her chin.  She did.  She opened her mouth wide open but kept her head in the same place.   Sort of like this  :drop:

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## frank

Almost forgot the best one. A lady tried on a frame and noticed that it sat a little crooked on her face. She wanted to know if I could fix it. Told her it was quite common because most people have one ear higher than the other. She said, "I don't doubt that, I have one boob higher than the other." I just smiled and walked away (and no, I didn't look at her chest to see if she were telling the truth).

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## Judy Canty

Several years ago, a nice young lady came in with a question from her husband.  "He's an obstetrician and every time he delivers a baby, his glasses fog up.  What should he do?"

I had to leave the room.

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## Karenrp1956

> Stupidest question, and I seem to get this one periodically:
> 
> 
> "Why do my glasses move up and down when I do this?" (Pt. is moving glasses up and down with their hands)
> 
> On an aside, this doesn't pertain to stupid questions but I feel it must be said, but don't you hate it when a patient comes in, opens a battered eyeglass case to show you frame catastrophe and they say: "I opened up the case, and the glasses were just like this!"
> 
> (I actually told a customer once that I would fix up the glasses and replace the case...it MUST be defective.)
> :drop:


Just goes to prove that there is a eyeglass goblin that goes from house to house seeking glasses to destroy:(

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## Blake

> How about "I need some contacts"....slaps down a glasses rx on the counter. I just take a deep breath before I respond, hoping they just gave me the wrong rx and do not really think that glasses and contacts are the same rx.
> 
> Or when they hand you their glasses and say "just get the rx from these. I have had these 15 years but I know my eyes haven't changed".


One of my former coworkers once had a man hand her the wrong Rx - it was for Viagra!  She said that was the first time she had seen a black man blush.

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## Andrew Weiss

Too lazy to log in as Fester---

How about " Can you make me beautiful?" 

I wanna say "yes with the new Versachmani full shield occuleded collection"!

Uncle Fester

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## Andrew Weiss

> Several years ago, a nice young lady came in with a question from her husband.  "He's an obstetrician and every time he delivers a baby, his glasses fog up.  What should he do?"


This is Andrew for real now . . .

Best misunderstanding: Years ago, I was taking in an order, and I told the young woman I need to measure her PD.  She slapped me.  Turned out she was an obstetrical nurse, and in her world, "PD" stand for "pelvic diameter" . . . :D

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## sarahr

A real one from today: Mum and 10 yr old son collecting his first pair. Mum is busy chatting to friend in waiting area and wandered over to sign the form. She looks at her son as says, "Oh My God I can see you've got rubbish eyes now, one eye looks HUGE"

And another thing, If you've worked in engineering all of your life sir, please do NOT;
1. Feel the need to tell me
2. Feel the need to interogate me whilst I'm adjusting your specs
3.Remove the frames from my hand so that you can show me where the bend needs to go
4. Tell me you could do it yourself but....

But please DO;

1.Take them home and break them then come and confess that they are actually different animals to the engine parts you used to make and your tools don't work on spectacles.
2. Go away and make yourself a frame which apparently you could do for a fraction of the cost.
3. Sit a degree in Optometry and then return to tell me how to DO MY JOB
Ah, that's better........

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## Karenrp1956

The eyeglass goblin struck again.  A & A 180 frame was the victim, the patient was just wearing them and they fell  apart.  The goblin somehow stretched out the eyewire holes.  We have got to start a tell-a-thon to help stop those goblins.

Also, how about the medicaid that think they can get two pair of glasses, or even contact lens.   
they ask why their insurance doesn't pay for more, I want to tell them that I cannot pay for all of it.  You know there use to be a time when being on medicaid was shameful, now it is prideful

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## rep

In my previous life I can't tell you how many times I cleaned glasses in ultrasonic cleaners only to have customers insist that the glasses I brought back were not the glasses I left with. 

So - These aren't my glasses are they? - (just after being cleaned and adjusted they don't recognize them) gets my 1st place vote. 

One dear old soul went back home to get her husband who promptly told her she must be crazy because they were the  same one's she had been wearing for the last 10 years. 

My second place vote goes to the long time customer who came in with her husband's three pair of glasses and stated " I am bringing back Franks glasses, he barely used them. " I can get just return them for creditl can't I"

Uh - No  

She left in a huff. 


Rep

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## Lynne

> And another thing, If you've worked in engineering all of your life sir, please do NOT;
> 1. Feel the need to tell me
> 2. Feel the need to interogate me whilst I'm adjusting your specs
> 3.Remove the frames from my hand so that you can show me where the bend needs to go
> 4. Tell me you could do it yourself but....
> 
> But please DO;
> 
> 1.Take them home and break them then come and confess that they are actually different animals to the engine parts you used to make and your tools don't work on spectacles.
> ...


OH YES!  Those engineers, or those folks that have been wearing glasses since age 9, and they NEVER had any that got scratched all by themselves like these do!!  :cheers:

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## frank

And if one more person tells me that their lenses are suppose to be scratch proof, I'm gonna hit somebody.  :hammer:

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## Nettie

Just today.........

"I need some of those flexy kind so they wont break when I sit on them"
and.....
"Will you please refund my order from six months ago and ring it up again today so I can claim it on my insurance?"



My head hurts.

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## chip anderson

I hear this one all the time:

You have a patient in new contacts in the chair in front of the eye chart.  You ask: "What's the lowest line you can see?
Patient answers:  "You mean on the eye chart?"
:hammer: Chip

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## TheEyesHaveIt

This is a funny thread you have started!!  Much of it actually sounds familliar~

I just think of the folks that come through that door with those glasses hanging from that limp wrist.  There they are, dangling.  Pt. complains that these glasses are scratched up to the point that they cannot see out of them and all they ever used to clean them is exactly what we gave them; the lens cloth and cleaning solution.  They are demanding a remake/refund after 2 years of cleaning their lenses with sand paper and they actually think that I don't know!!!:drop:

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## Ed_Optician

I turned the old screw loose around on a patient onc.  I was dispensing glasses to the local shrink a lady sits at the dispensing counter next to him and tells me she has a screw loose.  I said  if the screw is on the glasses I can do it under my license if not the gentleman sitting next to you can deal with the other kind

We all got a laugh out of it

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## Ed_Optician

That appears to be an ethnic thing.  I heard it in NYC  I have heard it in Southern Ca and everywhere inbetween

Ed

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## chip anderson

De Medicine ran out, at least in our area is a rural thing.   Doesn't seem to have any ethinic basis but the deeper in the woods the patient lives, the more likely they are to use the term.

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## chip anderson

I had a young nun (a modern, currently dressed nun) in with a pair of really beat up rigid contact lenses.   I polished and more or less re-built the lenses and put them back on the patient.
The young lady said they felt much better and that her vision was much improved.  She then asked what the charges would be.
I told her that there would be no charge.  A fairly lengthy back and forth discourse went on with a lot of : "I insist that your charge me." and "That's all right Sister, there will be no charge."
Finally I prevailed, and they young lady said: " All right but I insist that you tell me why you are not charging me."
I told her:  "Sister, I see that you are wearing a wedding ring.  I am told that this is to symbolise that you are married to God.   I'll be damned if I send your old man a bill."

Chip:cheers:

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## edKENdance

Nice one Chip!

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## Andrew Weiss

I used to work at an OD's office in a small medical building.  The Dr in the suite next door was a plastic surgeon.  This gave me a great opportunity to have fun with people whose ears weren't quite level:

"Well, I can adjust your glasses or we can send you over to Dr. Wysocki to have your ears adjusted."  Said it with a smile; mostly everyone laughed.

[Of course, walking into his office was wierd with all those boxes of "Mammary Implants" . . .]

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## Karenrp1956

How about the contact lens progs that come in WITHOUT their contacts on!!!!!


Who's the guy that works for Wal-mart?  Had a couple of girls in here yesterday that swears WM sells contact lens on medicaid?  How does that work

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## okoart

Not optical in nature, but still pretty funny:

My wife asked me,

what day is Super Bowl Sunday ? :hammer: 

*OKOART*
www.opticalstore.com

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## canman

whats the stupidest question youve ever been asked

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## Ed_Optician

I am sure that the OD charged for a CL fitting while billing medicaid for an eye examination and then charged for contact lenses while ordering glasses through the medicaid system.  I know that is possible in California I have seen it done with Medi-Cal.

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## Dave Nelson

The stupidest question I ever heard followed 15 minutes of filing and adapting a temple to a long discontinued frame purchased somewhere else.
"Why should I have to pay for this? Its not my fault it broke."

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## Lewy

I once had an old lady bring in her false teeth, asking if I could mend them!

Best one is "Could you give me a screw please as my husbands tool is too big"

Or the lady contact lens wearer that came in with severe red eye, she was storing her lenses in urine....................yuk!

Another lady sat on her glasses in the bath.

Or the gent that ran over his flexon's with stylis panamics, with the lawn mower.

Once had a trainee that we showed a bog standard CR39 lens to, the packaging had been adapted to show "Reactowhite Lenses" a new photochromic that offered all the protection of reactolites without changing colour, we even wrote a fictitious letter from head ofice, claiming how good the lens was...........hook, line and sinker! He could even see the difference whilst holding them up to the light, amazing.

Lewy

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## SpecialT

A couple more...

How did the sugar look in my eyes? (referring to diabetes)

I tell them that I think they may have glaucoma... They ask "Is that bad?":hammer: 

How much stigma is in my eyes?

The one I really like is when they come in without any glasses, contacts or old records and they ask "Has my prescription gotten worse?"  Half the time they ask before I have even started the exam.

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## chip anderson

How about "can she wear contacts?"    

No way to say for sure without the effort being made no matter who you are or what your education.  You may be able to say no, but you sure can't say yes with certianty.

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## Spexvet

"I have astigmatism, but not two, right?"

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## aaron

In my former life...
To hear a patient say upon dispensing their brand new glasses "those aren't the glasses I ordered.  I ordered (smaller, rimless, green, blue, etc.)", would make my heart all a flutter.

As a rep....
"I'll just send these Hugo Boss back to Safilo when they take over the license."  Huh?

aaron

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## Mike Fretto

I had a patient tell me she had four cataracts removed two on each eye???? ya think she was refering to a yag procedure.



Another patient handed me his glasses and said hed rubbed all the medicine out cleaning them over the years could I put it back.

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## mrmac

I had a guy get mad because I was going to charge him to replace the frame that he drove over. He said the frame shoudn't have broke because it was a small car. I replied, would you think it was a small car if it went over your foot.

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## frank

> "I have astigmatism, but not two, right?"


Or they say,  "I have a stigmatism."  And are darn proud of it too.

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## Karenrp1956

Okay just had a patient that had a lens fall out of her glasses.  Did not bring it in, but had witnesses that it fell out.  Said it broke in pieces, wants me to replace the lens n/c

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## LanceM

> I hear this one all the time:
> 
> You have a patient in new contacts in the chair in front of the eye chart.  You ask: "What's the lowest line you can see?
> Patient answers:  "You mean on the eye chart?"
> :hammer: Chip


How about**: Doctor: "Tell me when you can read the bottom row on the chart.  Patient: "the VERY bottom row?"  Doctor thinking to himself: "How many bottom rows are there stupid!"

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## Johns

Name, Address, Phone

Reason for visit:  "I need a zam":hammer:

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## Drod3210

I saw your ad for a pair of glasses.  Does this mean I get 2 pair?:hammer: 



Or I saw your ad in the paper for Free Lenses and Free Frames to X amount
with single vision lenses and lined bifocals included . Can you explain the ad? 
:drop:

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## mrmac

Optician.......... Are You Wearing Single Vision Or Progressive Lenses ?

Customer....... I Am Not Sure ..can You Check Them For Me ?

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## efsamuel

OK This is my very favorite. First time presbyoptic after trying no line, flat top, and readers and not wanting any of them asked "can you fix my eye strain without putting a prescription in the lens, I know I need glasses, just not to see better"

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## sailorman126

my first post
but the question i get all the time is this one.
 do you take my insurance? never telling me the insurance
and when asked what insurance
 reply i dont know

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## Ron L

I always get asked when answering the phone: 

Where are you located in the mall? One time after telling a lady, she said "so your on the second floor?" I said yes! 

THE MALL HAS ONLY ONE FLOOR!!!  

Why can't people get out of there car, walk the mall, and maybe they will loose some weight.

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## Uncle Fester

Welcome to the Optiboard sailormn126! Please tell me you're a Mets fan!!

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## Drod3210

Can you adjust my tenticles on my glasses?

Can I  return my glasses?  I asked is there a problem with the glasses.  She said yes there is.  I can  actually see my wrinkles and  dark circles under my eyes they werent there before I bought the glasses.    :Nerd:  

 Can I get money by trading in my old pair of glasses?:finger: 


Can you check these glasses under your microscope?

If I hold out my glasses I can't see the reading part of my lenses ( holding his progressives 3 feet from the card) can you?

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## Drod3210

I had a customer tell me that she wanted progressives lenses and do we carry them here.
I replied yes we do. What colors do they come in?  Are you sure this is what your wearing. She had a single vision rx.......... Or are you asking about transition lenses that change from light to dark?  
Yeah she said whats the difference progressives-transtions its all the same. :Confused:

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## Nettie

How about when they keep covering one eye and saying "When I do this it's blurry".  I ask how their vision is with both eyes open, and it's just fine ....."but when I do this"...and it starts all over again.


THEN DON'T DO THAT!!!
:hammer:

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## Spexvet

The patient has been wearing ft bifocals for 20 years. I dispense a new pair of ft bifocals to her. I hand her the reading card, and she asks "why can't I read up close when I look above the line?"

As if she had never worn ft bifocals before!:hammer: :hammer: :hammer:

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## chip anderson

Spexvet:  If she had a low add before and a higher add after or if she had been under minused at distance, this may have been a ligitamite question.  If her new add was over 2 diopters, she actually now needed a trifocal and was complaining about the missing intermeadiate (which may have sufficed for reading above the line in the past.)  which may have been handled one way or another with previous glasses.

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## chip anderson

Aaron:  In your former life was the patient "selecting glasses" while still dillated or without correction?  If they can't see it, they can't remember it.

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## efsamuel

> _Patient puts specs on dispensing table and points out that one temple is a little higher than the other....._"My glasses are crooked. Can you fix that?"


"My nosepads are crooked, can you make them match?" This always comes from a guy who has had his nose broken.

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## chip anderson

Child is in for prosthetic eye, parent ask: "When will he be ready for transplant?"
Don't the opthalmologists tell the patient anything at the time of surgery?

Chip

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## chip anderson

efsamuel:  Try: "Dey sho' do' fit dat table.  Let's see if they fit your head?

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## shellrob

[QUOTE=Mike Fretto]I had a patient tell me she had four cataracts removed two on each eye???? ya think she was refering to a yag procedure.

I almost peed my pants one time when this lady told me that the doctor told her she had "cadillacs". Oh my goodness. I still mention that every once in awhile. 

Or this other lady came back after picking up her Ralph sunglasses and insisted that I had given her someone elses glasses because that person had etched his name on them......Ralph  

Oh my...I love this subject

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## fjpod

I love these two:

The one where they ask you to tighten the temple screws because that's whats responsible for their glasses falling off...has nothing to do with the fact that they are twisted from sleeping on them...but they gotta have tight temple screws.

The ones who ask you to tighten their nose pads so they don't wiggle anymore..:hammer: .

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## sailorman126

uncle fester
 sorry yankees fan

----------


## eyegirl

During exam Dr. mentions to Mom that her daughter has trace amounts of Blepharitis and suggests doing lid scrubs twice weekly.

Mom says, "You know I DID drink caffeinated coffee while pregnant with her.  Could that have caused it?"


the other one was a few years back, when a 20-something year old over analyzer asked the doctor the reason for his eyebrows being so hairy.

Good grief!! :Rolleyes:

----------


## Mikef

When I was in college a bunch of us planned a trip to the Wonderland dog track.  One of the girls going had never been before so of course she asked how big are the jockey?

----------


## stephanie

Ok this just happened the other day...guy calls in, his glasses are 4 years old. He wants to know WHY transitions aren't changing anymore. I said well they ARE 4 years old(uh do you know how old that is in glasses' years???) He doesn't want new lenses he just wants me to put the transition back in them...Hmmmm.....what is the word I am looking for OPTICIAN NOT MAGICICIAN!!! Buy some new ones dumb#$@!! UGH!!!! 

Ok here's one that happened in my first office....lady calls says she wants to know what exactly is wrong with her husband's eyes he just had them checked by our obstetrician....I had to put her on hold as I literally fell out of the chair laughing so hard that our insurance girl came running out to see what was wrong with me. I couldn't even tell the story because the tears were pouring out of my head. I wanted to say uh lady your husband's eyes are fine but he is 3 months pregnant. 

Oh here is another good one same office....STONED dude comes in...do you have red eyes...I am like what??? He repeats himself do you have red eyes....I say NO...why???....He says because I want red eyes...I finally figure out he is talking about contacts...Uh no dude but smoke you another one you are ALMOST there!!!!LOL!!

----------


## mrmac

The glasses must be right because I use my eyes to see.

Not me... I use my nipples.

----------


## Glock

During a slit lamp eval:

Buddy: "You're not a real doctor are you?"

Me:  "No.  I'm not even a fake doctor.  I sell contact lenses."

----------


## Glock

Another slit lamp eval.

Me:  Look at my ear.

Buddy, staring:  It's a really nice ear.

----------


## Glock

Customer walks in, looks at glasses for 15 minutes.  Getting very excited about a pair of glasses.  Says they are going to come back in 3 days to buy them.  Can I write the number down?  Sure.  Oh and by the way, can you fix these dollar store glasses for me?  Sure.  How much?  No charge.  Customer never comes back.

Attention shoppers!  Don't pretend you are interested in buying something just so I can fix your glasses for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## shellrob

Yea, I hate that too. If you need your glasses adjusted or fixed, just ask.....

----------


## SpecialT

I haven't caught any of my patients doing this, but there are stories out there about patients who get prescribed an eyedrop and they take it by mouth.

How dense must a person be to do something like that?

----------


## Chris Ryser

Patient chooses between a red and a blue designer frame with demo lenses.....and asks..........

"why do I see better with the red one ?"

----------


## Karenrp1956

How about the price checkers on the phone?  You know it's other opticals because of Caller ID!:hammer:

----------


## SpecialT

I had a nurse tell me once that she wanted her lenses tinted *red* because it helped her "see the blood better".

Those who know colors and filters will know exactly how stupid this is.

----------


## C-10

we had a guy in the store the other day complainting when he takes his gray sunglass off he see green for about 20 minutes

----------


## chip anderson

You oughta see the colors after wearing blue or yellow for a while.

----------


## Karenrp1956

Speaking of the color red.  My dad, an optometrist in the old days (hard contact days), had a gambler who wanted dad to get him red contact lens.  He marked his cards, dad said NO THANKS

----------


## Drod3210

A woman walks into the optical department and asks......
"Do you sell glasses here?":hammer: 

You don't know how badly I wanted to say "As a matter of fact we don't. We just display them ..":finger:

----------


## Drod3210

Can you replace these little feet on my glasses? :Eek:

----------


## JennyP

> I haven't caught any of my patients doing this, but there are stories out there about patients who get prescribed an eyedrop and they take it by mouth.
> 
> How dense must a person be to do something like that?


Did have a lady a year or so back that was putting the wrong drops in her eyes and then tried to sue the prescribing doctor. (Not ours.) Said she used them a week before she found out they were for her ears. I _thought_ she was literate.  I can understand the possibility if she hadn't been, or if she had poorer sight. 
I think some people really need pictures on their meds....but can you imagine what a suppository picture would have to look like????   :Rolleyes:

----------


## mirage2k2

I bought some eye drops recently ... the ones you use with contacts.  On the bottle it said "New no tear solution!"  I thought this meant that this solution wouldn't cause my lenses to tear (like some other cheaper solutions). :D 

3 weeks later and I suddenly realise that the solution will not make my eyes water :hammer:

----------


## edKENdance

> The glasses must be right because I use my eyes to see.
> 
> Not me... I use my nipples.



That is the most humorous post I have ever seen on the optiboard.

I think I love you!!!!!

----------


## efsamuel

> A woman walks into the optical department and asks......
> "Do you sell glasses here?":hammer: 
> 
> You don't know how badly I wanted to say "As a matter of fact we don't. We just display them ..":finger:


OK but when I am asked "How much do your glasses run" I always answer about a mile a day. At least they are laughing before I tell them the price and not after!;)

----------


## Drod3210

My father has been an eyeglasses wearer for 63 years and every time I start talking to him.

He tells me "Hold on Honey I can't hear you and puts on his glasses.   :Nerd:  

Funny he hears just fine... :bbg:

----------


## Chris Ryser

I was caught by a story about chickens, which have yellow eyes, being fitted with red contact lenses, which "make them eat less, lay more, and stop henpecking." That's what it said. 

What Bob Anderson says is that, "once word of this gets around, rose-colored glasses are going to be the hottest Christmas gift from husbands to wives."

----------


## chip anderson

Drod:  

You would be supprised how many people (even a lot of young ones) partially lip read and "can't hear without thier glasses."   You will also notice that they tend to ignore what's said to them if either party in the converstation has thier back to the other.

----------


## eyegirl

> I was caught by a story about chickens, which have yellow eyes, being fitted with red contact lenses, which "make them eat less, lay more, and stop henpecking." That's what it said. 
> 
> What Bob Anderson says is that, "once word of this gets around, rose-colored glasses are going to be the hottest Christmas gift from husbands to wives."


Hilarious!  :D

----------


## C-10

Heres one 

An older person comes in and ask how much are your glasses. They are quoted a price, then they say. On that much too much I may not be here that long.

----------


## chip anderson

Actually it has been also found that chickens lay at Sunrise and Sunset so all laying hens are placed in an environment with Sunrise colored lighting and continue to lay eggs all day long.
I think the red glasses for fryers are to keep them from pecking each other to death.  With red filters they cannot see blood.  In confined environments, chickens will peck a wounded chicken to death if they see blood.

Chip (and no, I don't raise chickens) Anderson:)

----------


## C-10

Thanks Chip that that is just the information that I wanted to know

----------


## Spexvet

"I'd like to get these, but I can't see around the "Gucci" printed on the lens. Can I get them without "Gucci" on the lens?"

----------


## Chris Ryser

A very shy young man went into an optician's one day to order a new pair of spectacles. Behind the counter was an extremely pretty young girl, which reduced the customer to total confusion.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked with a , ravishing smile. 

"Er - yes - er - I want a pair of rimspeckled hornicles . . . I mean I want a pair of heck-rimmed spornicles . . . er . . . I mean . . . .

At which point the optician himself came to the rescue. 

"It's all right, Miss Jones. What the gentleman wants is a pair of rim-sporned hectacles

:bbg:  :D  :bbg:  :D

----------


## Spexvet

Patient tries on frame from frame board, with demo lenses in it: "why can't I see better with these on?"

Uh... because they're not your Rx. Had I known you were coming, I would have had your Rx mounted in every frame in the shop, so you would have been able to see how well you look in the frames. Because I am clairvoyant, I would have known your Rx beforehand, and known exactly where to place the progressive addition lenses for you.........you idiot.

----------


## C-10

Delivering a pair of PALs to a patient and after explaining to them how to use them she hold the read card over her head an asked why can't I read up here?
DUH

----------


## mrmac

This happens alot.... An elderly ( usually a man ) puts a frame on and looks at the wrinkles on the back of his hand , looking through the demo lenses and says... I cann't see any better with these damn things.

----------


## Dave Metzger

BAck in My shop in Jersey City, I sold a gent glasses for $300. He asked terms of sale so I said since it is a custom order he may pay in advance by cash check or charge. He responded "what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow?", I said, "Make it cash, please"

----------


## KayleighJolie

I had a patient call all panicky and say they put eye drops in their eyes and a few minutes later they could taste it in their throat. 

When I was an op tech the doc told me a patient asked, during the slit lamp exam, "so can you see my brain through the back of my eye?"

I always hated it when people say they need their eyes "examed". 

I've been working in the lab for 10 years and I want to know what is it that makes people come in at 8:00 at night and shop for glasses?

How about, "What do you mean you don't have any appointments today? Can't you just move somebody?"  or they lean over the counter to look at the book like you are lying. This was over 10 years ago when we didn't make appointments by computer.

How do people not notice when there is green cheese packed around the nosepads so thick you can't even see the nose pads? How do you wear something like that on your face?

KJ

----------


## chip anderson

Tear ducts drain into the nose, which can drain into the mouth, which can result in some taste sensation.

With the right toys and the proper skills one can see the retina (which is an extension of brain tissure) with a slit-lamp.

60% of glasses are sold after 5 P.M., It's when people are off work and other more intertaining activities which can be done in the daytime are not being preformed.

As to wanting someone's appointment moved, these were probably women that went to Ole Miss.  The same ones that can sprint into the dress shop from sports car in a handicaped parking place.

Chip

----------


## KayleighJolie

> Tear ducts drain into the nose, which can drain into the mouth, which can result in some taste sensation.
> 
> 
> 60% of glasses are sold after 5 P.M., It's when people are off work and other more intertaining activities which can be done in the daytime are not being preformed.
> 
> 
> Chip


Yes, I know that. That is why I found it so funny. I explained that to her. 

I realize that but it's still annoying as hell that late at night.

KJ

----------


## SpecialT

> With the right toys and the proper skills one can see the retina (which is an extension of brain tissure) with a slit-lamp.


*You are absolutely right*, but you know what they are really thinking.  They are thinking "Wow, I heard of an optometrist that caught my neighbor's friend's roomate's brain tumor, so optometrists must be able to see into my brain.  I better go get dilated to see if they can find a tumor in *my* brain!":idea: 

I actually get this alot and they seem to think the eyes are like windows that you can just look in and see whats happening.  They seem kind of bummed out when I tell them that what we see are the affects that brain lesions have on the eyes.

----------


## mrmac

This just happened today..."Why do the temple covers move when I tug on them"?

----------


## fjpod

> *You are absolutely right*, but you know what they are really thinking. They are thinking "Wow, I heard of an optometrist that caught my neighbor's friend's roomate's brain tumor, so optometrists must be able to see into my brain. I better go get dilated to see if they can find a tumor in *my* brain!":idea: 
> 
> I actually get this alot and they seem to think the eyes are like windows that you can just look in and see whats happening. They seem kind of bummed out when I tell them that what we see are the affects that brain lesions have on the eyes.


I know what you are trying to say, but...brain tumors are frequently picked up at an eye exam...first...pupillary reflexes, confrontation fields, visualization of the optic nerve head, oculo-motor problems.  I can't tell you how many patients have come in for an eye exam and we have determined that there was a brain tumor or aneurysm. (been in practice 28 years).  While we can't directly see into the head, there are often many visual signs or symptoms.  While I wouldn't go advertising my eye exams to "definately find yourbrain tumor", an initial eye exam is most frequently the starting point in suspicious cases.

----------


## For-Life

Phone call with a lady looking for a good Lasik surgeon, because her 10 year old son does not like to wear his contacts or glasses.

----------


## SpecialT

> I know what you are trying to say, but...brain tumors are frequently picked up at an eye exam...first...pupillary reflexes, confrontation fields, visualization of the optic nerve head, oculo-motor problems.


I hope I didn't give the impression that we (optometrists) don't frequently discover undiagnosed brain lesions.  I just think that many people believe we actually look at the lesion itself.  Unless it is actually on or in the eye, we rely on other signs like the ones mentioned above for diagnosis.  Just goes to show that you don't always have to see it to believe it.

----------


## frank

And why do they come in 5 minutes before its time for me to go home to shop for glasses. :hammer:

----------


## chip anderson

I didn't get asked this but,
Today a paitent was in and said she had been so unhappy with her last glasses that she was going to get this pair from me even though she thought my prices were higher than the last place.  
I thanked her and asked her what was the problem with her last ones.  She said she couldn't see because they slipped down.  He present nosepads had double thickness cornplaster type adhesive pads and the pads were bent very close together and the glasses were about 1 1/2" from her face.  She said she had been back and back to the place she got them and they had told her that there was nothing they could do about them slipping down.
Then the kicker:  She said the "opticianess" had told her to keep her head tilted chin up as high as possible to keep them from slipping off.
Of course I asked them: "Who told you that?"  
She said: "Why the optician(ess) at LensCrafters where I got them."

Of course, I cut about 3/8" off the temples and adjusted the frame and her problem no longer exists.

----------


## Chris Ryser

> *........she couldn't see because they slipped down.* 
> *Of course, I cut about 3/8" off the temples and adjusted the frame and her problem no longer exists.*


Chip, that is awful to hear that things like that are still happening today where everybody talks high end glasses and lenses and then are not ables to do the basic adjustments when delivering the job.

----------


## Karenrp1956

Anyone else have gown men who cannot decide on their glasses without their wives being there....


Or the ones that you go over the price more than once, they write you out a check, leave, you order and they are back saying that its too much and cancel. Hello?  Are you listening?


Also the teenagers that come in to have their eyes examed and order glasses without an adult and then the adult gets upset on how much the teenager spends.

Hint...16 year + credit card =$$$$$$$$$$$

----------


## shellrob

I get the husbands all the time. It's crazy how they act sometimes. I'l pick out a great pair and their like, well, I have to have my wife come and see these before I order. I usually laugh........

----------


## SpecialT

> Anyone else have gown men who cannot decide on their glasses without their wives being there


This is at its best when the wife picks out the ugliest pair of frames possible.  

I had a guy in the other day that brought in his own frame, it was a high end designer with a spectacle prescripion already in it.  He is actually a wealthy business owner.  This was the guy's first eye exam so I pretty much gathered from some of his other comments that the frame was his wifes old frame.  Now he is going to be walking around his business looking rediculous.  If he was a kidd he would get beat up on a daily basis wearing a pair of specs like that.  We all got a good laugh out of it at least.

----------


## Karenrp1956

that reminds me, how about the person that brings in their own frame and after you clean them up, the tell you that its not their frame. 
I think we need a reallity TV program about the optical business.  




> This is at its best when the wife picks out the ugliest pair of frames possible. 
> 
> I had a guy in the other day that brought in his own frame, it was a high end designer with a spectacle prescripion already in it. He is actually a wealthy business owner. This was the guy's first eye exam so I pretty much gathered from some of his other comments that the frame was his wifes old frame. Now he is going to be walking around his business looking rediculous. If he was a kidd he would get beat up on a daily basis wearing a pair of specs like that. We all got a good laugh out of it at least.

----------


## Happylady

> This is at its best when the wife picks out the ugliest pair of frames possible. 
> 
> I had a guy in the other day that brought in his own frame, it was a high end designer with a spectacle prescripion already in it. He is actually a wealthy business owner. This was the guy's first eye exam so I pretty much gathered from some of his other comments that the frame was his wifes old frame. Now he is going to be walking around his business looking rediculous. If he was a kidd he would get beat up on a daily basis wearing a pair of specs like that. We all got a good laugh out of it at least.


Years ago I had a man bring his wife's old frame in to use. It was a grooved rimless but clearly to me it was a woman's frame. I told him it was and he didn't seem to care. I asked a couple of other patients at the next table if they thought it was a man's or woman's frame. When they both said it was a woman's frame he decided not to use it. I guess he just didn't believe me!

I once told a man that he wouldn't be able to see distance out of his reading glasses. He brought them back a few days after he got them and complained that they made his distance blurry. I told him that I had told him that. He said "I didn't believe you."  :drop:

----------


## mrmac

A Woman Called Last Week,

    Customer.....can You Check When I Had My Last Exam?

     Me................which Of Our Doctors Did You See?

   Customer........oh... I Have Never Been To Your Office Before.

What I Wanted To Say...... How The  F*#* Should We Know

----------


## Cindy K

-- 'Its the perfect frame for me! But do you think it might be out of style in five years!'

-- "Thanks for the fitting! I just wanted to let you know that I will always come to see you to get my glasses adjusted; the place I bought them just can't get it right but you do the first time every time!" (as he's heading for the door with nary an offer of payment for the twenty minutes I just spent adjusting someone else's problem) "You mean to say there's a charge for that?"

-- "What do you mean, I can't  put a pair of prescription sunglass lenses in this frame? This cost me $25.00 at the drug store!"

-- "You're telling me that I'm going to have to change the lens again after my cataract surgery?"

-- "Guess I shouldn't have told you my son ran over them with his bike. You would have warrantied them if I had said they just fell apart, right?"

-- "I swear I did not drop them! These lenses are defective; look at the gouges in them!" (to this, my boss suggested that perhaps the molecules just escaped from the lens surface)

-- "My eye doctor SAID that if I needed the lenses changed you would do it for free! Its not my problem he made a mistake!"

-- "Yes, I sat on them! But the frame must be defective; it should not have broken!"

-- "My glasses slide down my nose if I reach behind my head and pull on my left ear; can you fix them?"

-- "I want to see the optician" (to this I asked what I could do for him)Man says ,"Not you, I want one of the men."

-- "You'll honor a coupon from XYZ Optical down the road, right?

--"Do you give discounts?"

--"What do you charge for lenses?" or "How much are your frames?"



Sorry but I just couldn't decide on the one stupidest question; the list could go on and on and on and..................

----------


## k12311997

pt - I have some scratches in my lenses

pull pt's chart to see if under warranty ask him to have a seat

me - Wow I've never seen glass so scratched up. (The entire front of the lens totally opaque)

him - it wasn't that bad till I tried to buff them out.

me - sir why would you do that?

him - well I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it would work.  *That would have been stupid wouldn't it?*

----------


## loncoa

The finish on these frames is no good. When I pick at it with my thumbnail like this (chips paint off) the paint comes right off!
My reply: why would anyone do something like that? (patient looks at me like I'm speaking portuguese)

----------


## Karenrp1956

I had a patient come in with his glasses in pieces.  i asked him what happen and he said he was working on his car, the glasses fell into the fan of the engine and this is what happen. 

I have the frame in one hand and pieces of a  (1) crizal lens in the other.  I told him that those could not be warrantied for defect. He says sure you can, there's a scratch right there.

----------


## Spexvet

> The finish on these frames is no good. When I pick at it with my thumbnail like this (chips paint off) the paint comes right off!
> My reply: why would anyone do something like that? (patient looks at me like I'm speaking portuguese)


My skin is no good either. When I slice it with this razor blade....

----------


## Cindy K

I know we've ALL had this one:

"Do you have anyone who can fix this?" (places severly traumatized plastic frame with pieces of the lower rims actually missing, on the counter)

"Gosh, I'm sorry but there is nothing we can do to resurrect that other than putting your lenses into a new frame"

"But can't you use some Crazy-Glue or something?"

Sigh......

----------


## Karenrp1956

Ahh! Super glue, the cure all!


> I know we've ALL had this one:
> 
> "Do you have anyone who can fix this?" (places severly traumatized plastic frame with pieces of the lower rims actually missing, on the counter)
> 
> "Gosh, I'm sorry but there is nothing we can do to resurrect that other than putting your lenses into a new frame"
> 
> "But can't you use some Crazy-Glue or something?"
> 
> Sigh......

----------


## rent4711

PT: Can you take the writing off of these lenses for me? 

ME:  I can do better than that, give me 15 minutes and I'll put a whole new set of lenses in there and you'll actually be able to see out of them.

I've only been at it for a year so I can only imagine the types of things I'm gonna hear in my next 20-30 years.  Can't wait!!!!!

----------


## harry a saake

One of the ones i love actually comes from doctors after post operative cataract surgery. Just go next door and medicare will buy you a pair of glasses:idea:

----------


## chip anderson

I always try to remind people that medicare don't buy nobody nothing.  The taxpayers do.

----------


## Visionz

Patient had an eye exam done at the doctors office next door, when he comes out of the office with a minor OU -0.25 prescription. He askmed me " Are all these glasses free, can i pick anyone i want to" lol

----------


## GOS_Queen

A patient came in to order glasses.  She specifically requested that we use a 10 bc on her moderate Rx in a plastic frame.   After clocking the current lenses she was wearing and neutralizing the Rx of the current lenses, I determined that YES, she IS wearing a rather "strange" combination (mild plus Rx on a 10 bc).  



I had to ask her WHY would ask such a request (how would she know to specifiy a specific BC?   :Confused:  )  


She said that long ago~a few years back~ she had a problem and the optician told her that "from now on, specifically ask for your lenses on a 10 bc".  


She prefers a 10 bc, in her plastic frame, because she wears excessively long (fake) eyelashes and didn't want the lashes to brush against the lens.  

:hammer:

----------


## Uncle Fester

mrmac my friend, you have created the never ending thread :cheers:

Scupper Jacks this Friday?

----------


## birdylove

I got a new one yesterday (after 20 years in the business, I thought I had heard them all).

"Do you charge for eye exams?"

I bit my tongue.  I was dying to deliver a snarky response like: "No.  We're just benevolent folks.  We do exams because we just love it, and we can't help ourselves"

Sigh.

----------


## pbsE46

This may have been posted already, but I don't have enough time to read all the threads...

"You mean these prices don't include lenses"  Dumbass:hammer:

----------


## LanceM

> I haven't caught any of my patients doing this, but there are stories out there about patients who get prescribed an eyedrop and they take it by mouth.
> 
> How dense must a person be to do something like that?


This is why KY Jelly says for internal use only.  The woman who filed a law suite because it didn't work.  She was putting it on toast.  Ugh. :hammer:

----------


## LanceM

> I hear this one all the time:
> 
> You have a patient in new contacts in the chair in front of the eye chart.  You ask: "What's the lowest line you can see?
> Patient answers:  "You mean on the eye chart?"
> :hammer: Chip



Or how about...
Doc: "Tell me when you can see the *bottom* row on the chart."

Patient: "The very bottom?"

Doc (thinking mean thoughts): "Yes the VERY bottom" :hammer:

----------


## hipoptical

There must certainly be a thread on stupidopticalcustomersboard.com titled "What is the dumbest thing you can say when purchasing eyewear?" They all read it, and say the same thing wherever they go! Either that, or you all are stealing my customers...;)

----------


## JERRY HUANG

Can you "move" my old Rx lens from Nunor(38 mm) to the Cartier frame (52 MM)?:hammer:

----------


## Karenrp1956

I have a patient who is wearing a -29. ou with astigmatism. She wants to know why medicaid will not pay for all this lens, Wal-mart did!  (Please go to Wal-mart!)

----------


## For-Life

When we charge a fitting fee for contact lens patients we give coupons towards contacts or glasses to redeem it (equivalent to the fitting fee).  I had one person ask if he could apply the coupons received from the fitting fee towards his fitting fee.

----------


## Karenrp1956

"Hey! What did you do to my glasses, I can see out of them now" 

uhuhuh....Cleaned them.

----------


## JERRY HUANG

I don't want to break the law!  Is it "legal" to print on the frame "Made in Japan" or "Made in Italy" from China??:hammer: 


uh.............sure!   You are just as "legal" as everyone else!

----------


## harry a saake

your ad says free no line bifocals, does this mean i don,t have to pay for them.

drs last appointment is at 5:00, is that in the morning?

I,m calling to see if my glasses are ready. total silence

i,m picking these glasses up for mr jones, oh they need adjusting!, well my head is the same size, can you adjust them on me.

----------


## chip anderson

Harry: 
I have twin girls as patient's one was badly damaged about the head a few years ago. She had no glasses prior to the wreck and was not about to be in shape for her contact lenses for some time. I measured the twin, fitted glasses, ordered and delivered them to the injured twin (and adjusted) in the hospital. Worked fine. This just came to mind as she was just in for the first new glasses in six years (had since resumed CL wear) and the old ones made as described served well until now.
I have also found that PD's of small children (especially those from which attention cannot be obtained despite heroic efforts) tend to be so close on children of the same size that an experienced optician can gestimate almost as accurately as one can measure. Deviations always so small as to be insignificant.  There may be something to "same size adjustments", sometimes.
Chip

----------


## For-Life

> your ad says free no line bifocals, does this mean i don,t have to pay for them.
> 
> drs last appointment is at 5:00, is that in the morning?
> 
> I,m calling to see if my glasses are ready. total silence
> 
> i,m picking these glasses up for mr jones, oh they need adjusting!, well my head is the same size, can you adjust them on me.


On the same note

- Okay, your appointment is at 3 on Thursday
    - *Looks at calender* Is that AM or PM?

I also get those who phone to see if their glasses are ready and do not give a name.  But my favourite one is when they have call display and you pick up the phone and they yell "who is this?  Why did you call me," and then when you ask what their name is they do not want to give it to you.

----------


## mrmac

A woman asked if I would try on a Coach frame  " I just want to see how they look"........... I am 6' tall and 225 pounds .   Unfortunatly they looked better on me.

----------


## rsandr

Account customer asked...
"When I order lenses with prism you charge me for surfaced, is this correct?"

Us...
"Yes"


Customer...
"Any particular reason?"

----------


## eyegrrl

i hear you!  I ALWAYS get the same thing, it doesn't matter what you know if there is someone older than you, the patients always want them!  i didn't get any respect at the office til the senior optician left, and the patients only wanted to see me because i was a familiar face!

----------


## Judy Canty

Well, at least they're not looking for the "man in the back" anymore.  :shiner:

----------


## eyegrrl

hear hear!!!! (:

----------


## KAYDEE

While performing the duochrome test, please sir/madam could tell me which number looks darker, sharper and clearer, the numbers on the red or the green block? Patient, THE BLUEQ:      Hi can I have copy of my subscriptions? A: To which magazine? I      answered.

----------


## KAYDEE

continued from #2 above 

at which time my new dispensing optician ,trying to impress on me,  adds "You mean your spectacle pe*r*scription, sir!"

I went hom early that day! :Eek: 

#3 my colleague, on demonstrating to a fine gentleman and his rather attractive young daughter how to insert a SILHOUETTE frame into a SILHOUETTE case (the hard plastic case with the small clip inside that secures the temples) , says the following, "Sir all you need to do is fold the temples over each other and slide them under the clit!" at which stage I looked the man and his daughter in the face, bit my lip and left him to dig his way out of that mess.:o

My apologies to anyone whom may take offense!!:shiner:

----------


## Spexvet

> On the same note
> 
> - Okay, your appointment is at 3 on Thursday
> ...


When you say "Ok, your appointment is on Thursday, May 11th, at 3:00 pm"

Don't they always ask "what day is that?"

----------


## Karenrp1956

"Do you have to use that RX, I don't want any correction at the top"  and it is a brought in rx.  Can't change the doctor prescription and they get mad at YOU?

----------


## SarahMP584

"How much for transgressions lenses?"

"These polarized lenses, if they are dark, what are you supposed to do at night?" :hammer:

Me: "the doctor will be here from 4 to 8." Patient: "In the evening?" 

(I am wearing a lab coat, sitting at my lensometer) "Do you work here?" 

and the number one dumb question that I get at least 4 times a week:
"Do you have to see da Dr to by color contacs?" "yes you have to have a prescription." "But I dont want no medicine in em'.
Thats Ok, I will just buy em downtown at da swap meet." 

;)

----------


## Miss Nancy

This happened to my predecessor:
One day at our Bellehaven office a local gentleman walked in with a dry cleaning bill.  He told Dennis (our optical guy) that the previous evening, during a fancy spaghetti dinner, all the medicine ran out of his glasses and stained his dress shirt. Of course, he needed to have the shirt professionally cleaned, and his question to Dennis "When you gonna "reburse" me and put the medicine back in my glasses?"
:hammer: 
Dennis paid the $5 (and put the medicine back in) just to get him the h*ll out of the office. No point in trying to be rational with some people.

----------


## For-Life

Lady comes in with a pair of glasses we sold her two years ago.  They are titanium frames, and like most titanium frames they arms are very flexible, but have no spring hinge.  Because of that, the one arm, when not wearing it, tends to close and open very easily.  I find this a natural tendency with these frames.  However, as we know, it does not affect the fit and the arm is not coming off, so really is not a problem at all.  

So she is complaining about that and says that she never really liked the glasses and wants a new frame.  Okay, that is fair, but two years later we really do not want to do much about it.  Plus, she wants to get new glasses anyways.  So what we can do is apply our knowledge from this, and pass it on.

The funny thing is that she asks about Transitions, so we quote her on a pair of transitions in her lenses.  Then she asks "oh, can I use my same frame for it?"

----------


## Cindy K

While we're at it here we might want to start a new thread entitled "The rudest client ever..." but this one does kind of fit in with the stupidest questions theme of the current thread.

A gruff, impersonable gent who had purchased from us in the past, enters the dispensary one day, and before even saying hello to me or myself having the opportunity to greet him, he tosses a business card from one of our local 'deep-discount', 'ever-advertising-a-sale' retailers on the dispensing table and asks, matter-of-factly and with a smug look on his mug, "Bet you can't match *THIS* price." We're just TOO expensive, it seems,so this time he went and shopped around. Does like our service and expertise, though. My heart sinks, I'm thinking "well here we go again, lets see if they're even in the ballpark." I quickly review the price itemization, confirm on a piece of paper with the calculator and price list what our price is and answer, 
" Yes, sir, I most certainly would be *happy* to match the price you have here!" He looks rather astonished that I would so very quickly offer to match a price that he obviously felt was a bargain, and we set about writing up the order. During this time, he's going on and on about how terrible it is for glasses to cost as much as they do, what a terrible mark-up there is, and how unfair it is to consumers that they have to do what he did and ask around if other opticals would price match (after all, it costs money and time, did I know this, for consumers to be forced to shop around.) And how unfair it is to the poor schmuck who doesn't know that glasses can be bargained on, and stupidly pays the full regular price. During this non-stop tangent of his, I'm not saying a word other than requesting information for the job. I'm also not responding to the questions he's asking me about mark-up, etc. He rises, ready to leave, and walks towards the door. At this point, I simply cannot contain myself any longer, and blurt out what I wanted to ever since I first saw the price written by the competition on the card, " Sir, I'm more than happy to match the price you got from XYZ. But, I really feel guilty about it because, well, *their sale price is actually $75.00 MORE than our regular price is!"*

Now you all know what comes next, right?

"Well, can you *not* match the price and charge me what you would have normally?"

----------


## Lady Nicole

Cindy, you made me smile on a Friday morning at work.

What a rare and wonderful thing!

:D :D :D :D

----------


## Lady Nicole

....the fun time I had a few days ago-

An (older) patient was in for a checkup and complained to the doctor that his bifocals were too low and he didn't like raising his chin to read. Doctor brings him out and mildly berades me that we made the segs too low and to adjust it, and "if you can't handle that then have them remade".

*sigh* 

I look at the gentleman's glasses, I can't adjust the zyl frame he's wearing to raise the bifocal as high as he wants it, so I go get the chart to order a remake.

The lenses were made over 2 years ago.  :Eek:  

*sigh* 

Someone just hit me over the head and put me out of my misery, will you?

:hammer:

----------


## Framebender

With an attitude like that I would take every opportunity I could to cost the Dr money!!   First, its really bad form to say anything in front of the patient.  How would they liked to be called on their Dr's changes?!?  Second, they never seem to understand that you can run up their cost of goods without them even realizing it!!

The problem is that often times we're too honest for our own good, but early  in my career I worked with a lead Optician that showed me how to run up the cost of goods to where they  could go through the statement invoice by invoice and they still wouldn't know what happened.  He ended up bankrupting that Dr!

I've never used it, but I've come close!!
:hammer:

----------


## Miss Nancy

I never had the courage to reproach this type for their arrogance. 
I just consider the "extra" to be the "A**H*LE fee.  After all, I did earn it.
And these people just keep coming back for more.....
:cheers:

----------


## Miss Nancy

Our job is to generate income for our Doctors.  
"Get the money, keep the money."
If you don't like your job, or the people with whom you work, GET ANOTHER JOB!
Bankrupting, slandering, or in any way, undermining the respect, reputation and/or competance of your employer is petty, juvenile, and just plain STUPID.
Your clients/patients may not remember exactly what you said, or what you did, but they will remember how YOU made them FEEL. (re: Maya Angelou)
Every day I save my OD money is another day I have a job.  We may argue, we may debate, but it is HIS BUSINESS, not mine, and he SIGNS MY CHECKS.

----------


## Adam Sizemore

Had a man come in and said that when he opened his glasses to put them on that his fingers get pinched in the hinges. I laughed he didnt Hey boss theres someone here to see you.

----------


## shellrob

> Our job is to generate income for our Doctors. 
> "Get the money, keep the money."
> If you don't like your job, or the people with whom you work, GET ANOTHER JOB!
> Bankrupting, slandering, or in any way, undermining the respect, reputation and/or competance of your employer is petty, juvenile, and just plain STUPID.
> Your clients/patients may not remember exactly what you said, or what you did, but they will remember how YOU made them FEEL. (re: Maya Angelou)
> Every day I save my OD money is another day I have a job. We may argue, we may debate, but it is HIS BUSINESS, not mine, and he SIGNS MY CHECKS.


 

Did I miss something along the way????   Who are you yelling at exactly?

----------


## Framebender

I believe that would be me!!  I actually work for myself now, so case solved!!! :D  :Cool:  :D

----------


## shellrob

Ok, I saw it, don't know how I missed it.

----------


## TigerLily

How about "Hey, doc, do they have any new bifocal toroidal contact lenses out that I can try?" Doctor calmly replies "Nope, not yet."

Or "Are my special order contact lenses in yet?  They had to order special ones for me because I have that autism in one eye"

OK, folks....why is astigmatism such a hard word???:hammer: :hammer:

----------


## Ory

"I can't wear contact lenses because of my stigmata"

----------


## chip anderson

The one I love is when I used to teach contact lens fitting to residents. Whenever I told them who I was and what I did to a man they always said: "Yeah K readings." I guess this was to let me know they knew all about contact lenses.


Chip

----------


## optigrrl

Lady: "Do you carry this kind of frame?" holds up Cartier rimless
Me: "No, we do not but I do use the Cartier approved lab for edging."
Lady: "How long will it take to put in new lenses?"
Me: "The lab tells us the standard is 3 weeks."
Lady: "Well, so-and-so chain optical says they can do it in a week!" "Will you get me their number so I can call them?"
Me: "No Ma'am. I will not." "Make sure they don't try to use the wrong parts, they won't mount correctly!"

----------


## fjpod

> "I can't wear contact lenses because of my stigmata"


How about, "I have to see an ophthalmologist because I have a stigma."?

----------


## chip anderson

FJ are you sure it wasn't because of her stigmata?

----------


## fjpod

Examined a woman today.  She refused a glaucoma test.  She said her sister had glaucoma but, "she didn't get it til she was 85, so I don't need it".  The patient was 78. 

Understand why you can't trust a patient's judgement?...or what they say about their eyecare practitioner.

----------


## Dave Nelson

Although it's not a question, I am constantly irritated by the -2.00 myope/+2.00 presbyope who announces he is about to undergo refractive surgery: "I hope you don't mind wearing reading glasses" I tell them. "oh, says mr. myope, I don't need glasses to read." Takes off his glasses to "demonstrate" his brilliant ability to read WITHOUT GLASSES. "well, I tell him, you'll need glasses to read after your surgery if you want good distance vision." Mr. myope, speaking slowly, because he has decided he is speaking to a dull witted eyeglass salesman, repeates "No ,you don't understand, I don't NEED glasses to read." whereby he demonstrates, again, his remarkable talent for reading without the aid of those wretched spectacles all those OTHER people use to read. I usually give it one more try to make them understand they aren't medical miracles, and they will need glasses to read, then give up and let nature take its course. One guy actually came back to ask when his reading vision would return.

----------


## SarahMP584

*I had a lady a couple months ago pick up her SV anti glare, maybe a -2.00 OU, and when she put them on, she says, "These are TOO clear." I thought she was kidding. We had to CONVINCE her to try out the AR, but she still brought them back, so we remade them with NO AR and a brown #2 solid. :hammer:

Another patient was looking at sunglasses and asked some questions about polarized lenses. "If these glasses are dark, what do people do at night?"* 

 :Confused:

----------


## Happylady

> Although it's not a question, I am constantly irritated by the -2.00 myope/+2.00 presbyope who announces he is about to undergo refractive surgery: "I hope you don't mind wearing reading glasses" I tell them. "oh, says mr. myope, I don't need glasses to read." Takes off his glasses to "demonstrate" his brilliant ability to read WITHOUT GLASSES. "well, I tell him, you'll need glasses to read after your surgery if you want good distance vision." Mr. myope, speaking slowly, because he has decided he is speaking to a dull witted eyeglass salesman, repeates "No ,you don't understand, I don't NEED glasses to read." whereby he demonstrates, again, his remarkable talent for reading without the aid of those wretched spectacles all those OTHER people use to read. I usually give it one more try to make them understand they aren't medical miracles, and they will need glasses to read, then give up and let nature take its course. One guy actually came back to ask when his reading vision would return.


I can't count the number of myopic people I have explained this to. I can ususally get them to understand. I ask if they can read with the distance only in their glasses and contacts. They tell me no, and I tell them when the doctor corrects their distance it will be like wearing their glasses without actually wearing them. The only reason they can see up close is because they are nearsighted.

Even if they realize that they will need near correction they often think it is just a minor thing. I tell them that everything within 2 to 3 feet will be blurry by the time they are 50 or soon afterwards.

I am about a -2.25 myope and I would NEVER have lasik.

----------


## chip anderson

I've had a mothers who as I was making thier child a prosthesis, ask: "When will he be ready for a transplant."   

Don't you think the doctor oughta, prep them a little at the time of ennucleation?

Chip

----------


## fjpod

> I've had a mothers who as I was making thier child a prosthesis, ask: "When will he be ready for a transplant." 
> 
> Don't you think the doctor oughta, prep them a little at the time of ennucleation?
> 
> Chip


Like I said in a previous post.  Don't assume the doctor didn't.  

I've had patients whom I've educated on a particular subject, and even given it to them in writing...and they come back the next day with all the facts WRONG.

----------


## Alteaon

One of our patients returned her glasses. She was convinced that we were "tricky" and had installed tiny cameras on her glasses/in her lenses so we could spy on her. They were "tricky" glasses.

There are always those who  have never worn contacts, but have tried on thier cousin's/friend's...

I also love the patient who tries to order progressives over the phone, and they've never had them before, " Just pick out a frame and do it."

The biggest thorn in my side lately is patient's who do not have back up glasses. They call because they are blind and out of contacts! I think that the right to wear contacts should be revoked for some people. I am not talking about the people who have different circumstances, but rather the pt who wears a two week lens for a year and a half and when it finally dies doesn't understand why they can't just get a new one " just this one time".

Patients who come in fifteen minutes late for thier appointment and wonder why they can't be seen.

Patients who travel from neighboring town and get upset when they cannot get an exam/glasses/contacts the same day. They choose where they live, and they choose where they do business. why do they think they should get some special treatment because they drove for a whole twenty minutes with out calling first? And no, I"m not going to call another patient to reschedule because of your stupidity and inconsideration!

Ugh

----------


## shellrob

> One of our patients returned her glasses. She was convinced that we were "tricky" and had installed tiny cameras on her glasses/in her lenses so we could spy on her. They were "tricky" glasses.
> 
> There are always those who have never worn contacts, but have tried on thier cousin's/friend's...
> 
> I also love the patient who tries to order progressives over the phone, and they've never had them before, " Just pick out a frame and do it."
> 
> The biggest thorn in my side lately is patient's who do not have back up glasses. They call because they are blind and out of contacts! I think that the right to wear contacts should be revoked for some people. I am not talking about the people who have different circumstances, but rather the pt who wears a two week lens for a year and a half and when it finally dies doesn't understand why they can't just get a new one " just this one time".
> 
> Patients who come in fifteen minutes late for thier appointment and wonder why they can't be seen.
> ...


Yea, the back up glasses thing bugs me death and doesn't it seem like they're always going out of town and have to have contacts RIGHT NOW!!!! 

I too had a person in last week for a contact fitting and they proceded to tell me that he had tried contacts on his wedding day-they were his Dad's and he didn't want to have to wear his glasses when he got married. I almost freaked out on him.

----------


## mboland

Do you sell contacticals?

----------


## For-Life

So you replace the frame under warranty 18 months later after purchase.

18 months after the replacement - Why are they not under warranty, I just got them 18 months ago.

----------


## Chris Ryser

I am wondering why this thread about stupidity has become one of the longer living ones ....................plus one of the ones, with the most post's I have seen in a long time.

*Guess it must fun to point the finger at our stupid customers...............*

----------


## Cindy K

> I am wondering why this thread about stupidity has become one of the longer living ones ....................plus one of the ones, with the most post's I have seen in a long time.
> 
> *Guess it must fun to point the finger at our stupid customers...............*


Well, Chris, this is the scoop:

As opticians, we not only must have the knowledge and experience in the field of optics but also the knowledge and experience of a psychologist, a psychoanalyist, a councellor (and councillor), a theologian, a politician, a mediator, a negotiator, an MD (and OD), just to name a few of the occupations and professions we, as opticians are expected to be well versed in to dispense a pair of glasses and maintain our client base.( And, I should add here, for a fraction of the salary any of the professions listed are paid).

By the longevity of this thread it shows that people are the same wherever the posters may be. We gain a sense of 'togetherness' when we read a post and are able to say to ourselves, "Gees, I had THAT VERY SAME CLIENT JUST YESTERDAY!!!!" (Or, in my case, "Hey, we're ALL living in the Twilight Zone!")

Chris, I don't really think this thread is so much about 'pointing the finger at our stupid customers' but rather that these are the situations which occur on a daily basis throughout the retail optical world. Its a good thing to know that other opticians work with intelligence-insulting clients besides me. (And maybe some less-experienced opticians begin to realize that client who just made a largesse attempt at insulting his optician's intelligence really just succeeded in insulting his own.)

Perhaps its time I started a thread that, instead of eliciting a few chuckles, will produce that 'warm fuzzy feeling' we all get when a client does something nice for us. Coming soon to this forum, *"THAT WARM FUZZY FEELING..."*

:cheers:

----------


## eyegrrl

you forgot Magician!  We are expected to be Magician's too!! :Cool:

----------


## harry a saake

Just happened today, called mr jones to tell him his glass were ready

Mr. Jones " tnx, i,ll call back and make an appointment to pick them up"

----------


## SarahMP584

On monday, memorial day, A girl came in and said she wanted to buy some CL's. "are you on file?" "No but I know the numbers."

"well I need your prescription to be able to sell them to you, Legally"
"well what am I supposed to do? I dont have any glasses and I only have one Contact in!":finger:

----------


## Alteaon

That's classic....

Another is when someone wants to order contacts and when you ask for thier Rx, they plop thier glasses down on the counter. It's not so much that they may not understand that contact Rx and Eyeglass Rx's differ, but many times they get a smug attitude about wanting you to get the Rx off thier glasses.

Sometimes our patients become downright beligerent with us when we won't fill an expired Rx...and if we ask them to wear thier glasses until they can schedule an exam, they act as if the Earth just fell off it's axis.

----------


## shellrob

> On monday, memorial day, A girl came in and said she wanted to buy some CL's. "are you on file?" "No but I know the numbers."
> 
> "well I need your prescription to be able to sell them to you, Legally"
> "well what am I supposed to do? I dont have any glasses and I only have one Contact in!":finger:


I get this all the time and it drives me crazy. They call and want to order contacts and I tell them I don't have them in stock and have to order them and they freak out telling me they're wearing their last pair and one is ripped. I asked them if they have glasses and it's either they lost them or they're broken. It's the same thing everytime. Or they need a new exam before ordering contacts and it's my fault that I can't get them in today because they're going out of town tomorrow. Sorry.

----------


## C-10

The other day I was fitting up a lady with PALs and after I took my measurement she picked up the reading card and looking at the card said " everything burry on this card."

----------


## For-Life

An older lady bought new lenses for her existing frames.  So the lenses arrive, she comes in and brings her glasses.  I go to the back and cut the lenses.  Now our policy is we do not give a new case with a new pair of lenses in old frames.  We only give a new case with a complete set.  I finish the job and she goes home.  The next day she walks in all alarmed.  She told me that last night she went to put her glasses down and realized that we never gave her a new case for them.  She had no idea where to put her glasses now, because we did not give her a case.  I was going to ask her what she did for the last two years with the same frame.


Another story goes back a few years.  I do not know if any of you are familar with a frame called Minima from Timon.  Very nice rimless frame where you had many shapes to choose from, all frames were titanium, and you could even do them up a little with different colour screws.  These guys made the Silhouttes look like America's Best trash.  The only thing is for the ladies the frames did not have temple covers, but coloured balls at the end.  The balls made the frames look very elegant, but tend to fall off with wear and tear.  So a lady comes in and I ask her how I can help her.  She turns to me, looks me up and down, and shoves the frame in my face without saying a word.  I notice the one ball came off so I took it to the back and fixed it.  The owner of the store was talking to her when I came out and I gave them back to her.  She then snaps at me and tells me that I did not replace the nose pads.  I said that I did not know that she wanted them changed.  She then snaps and tells me that is exactly what she asked me to do.

----------


## Ory

> The balls made the frames look very elegant, but tend to fall off with wear and tear. So a lady comes in and I ask her how I can help her. She turns to me, looks me up and down, and shoves the frame in my face without saying a word. I notice the one ball came off so I took it to the back and fixed it.


So it turns out this lady didn't come in to complain that her balls fell off?:idea:

----------


## For-Life

> So it turns out this lady didn't come in to complain that her balls fell off?:idea:


That would be a problem I could not handle

----------


## SarahMP584

*I cant believe I almost forgot this one.  A lady comes in for an adjustment, plops down at the dispensing table and says: "My glasses are crooked."
My friend asks her to put them on and looks and looks, and says "well, they look pretty straight..." Pt says: "Oh, not when I am wearing them this way." and she proceeds to place them on top of her head and says "They are crooked when they are up HERE." :drop:
*

----------


## Karenrp1956

THAT IS THE BEST ONE EVER






> *I cant believe I almost forgot this one. A lady comes in for an adjustment, plops down at the dispensing table and says: "My glasses are crooked."*
> *My friend asks her to put them on and looks and looks, and says "well, they look pretty straight..." Pt says: "Oh, not when I am wearing them this way." and she proceeds to place them on top of her head and says "They are crooked when they are up HERE." :drop:*

----------


## Alteaon

A patient came in with the complain that her glasses " Keep Sliding UP her nose", by themselves!-- that one is kind of hard to deal with because of the laws of Gravity and all.

----------


## JChesh

How 'bout this little gem:  This guy walks in and says he need to have +0.50, sph placed OU so he can read better.  I asked for the RX so I could verify, make sure it's valid/current, etc.  He tells me he doesn't have an RX, it's just that he thinks, "those are the lenses I need".  I explained it's like walking into a pharmacy and telling the pharmacist that you want Vicodin without having a RX.  He responds, as he's storming out of my shop, "I'm not gonna f---ing swallow 'em!"

Ah, society....

----------


## efsamuel

Patient comes in with some big black plastic "Jimmy Holly" frames that he loves. Them have been sitting in a drwaer for "oh 8 to 10 years". He had a problem with them before but now wants me to put new lenses in them. Pretty sure if he had a problem with the frame before he will have the same problem again I asked why he stopped wearing them. "Because they seem to have shrunk my head, but you can fix that right?"

I had to leave the room, he needs to see the head shrinking Dr.

----------


## fins2os

We have a particular patient that is a repeat offender (buy glasses, return glasses, repeat yearly)  who has more complaints than you could imagine.  I was done with him when he told us his glasses gave him chest pains.  I understand he also told his cardiologist the same thing.  Boy would I have loved to be in that exam room!!!!

----------


## 66Lenses

We have a patient who is particular about days he visits our office. Well, if we believe him, only when he visits us on particular days based on his numerology concepts, he can get better glasses and economical ones. I am not sure about this, but for past two years, he has been visitng us every three months.............for lens change as per new Rx he gets. Just wondering, if numerology is working in our favour ? lol

----------


## Judy Canty

:cry:  "Jimmy Holly"? You did mean Buddy...or are you that young? :cry:

----------


## efsamuel

> "Jimmy Holly"? You did mean Buddy...or are you that young?


The patient insisted it was Jimmy Holly... from the plane crash and all. That should have been my first clue.

----------


## Dave Nelson

Just today, doing a slit lamp check- Me: "Which eye was bothering you yesterday?"  Patient- "I can't remember, but it was either the right or the left one."

----------


## C-10

Another one I get when setting up a appointment is 
Your appointment is Thursday the 13th
answer back: is there anything sooner

----------


## Mike Fretto

I have found it easier in most situations when adjusting frames as far as level on their face to ask the patient to lower their chin almost to the point of looking over the top. One young man when I asked him to lower his chin did this :drop:

----------


## spexlady

speaking of bad grammar,  "My len fell out."

----------


## spexlady

OMG - the stimga!!!  Or I gots to have new glasses 'cause I gots glaucoma.

----------


## spexlady

Or how 'bout the person who askes you how much some other place charges?  Like do you ask the person at Wendys how much things are at Carls Jr?

----------


## spexlady

Or the person who complains that when he takes the glasses off he can't see any more.  Well, why is it you spent 200 dollars on those glasses - so maybe you can see better!!!!:angry:

----------


## spexlady

or I need a 'xam to check my eye vision - well what other vision do you have????

----------


## spexlady

> ....the fun time I had a few days ago-
> 
> An (older) patient was in for a checkup and complained to the doctor that his bifocals were too low and he didn't like raising his chin to read. Doctor brings him out and mildly berades me that we made the segs too low and to adjust it, and "if you can't handle that then have them remade".
> 
> *sigh* 
> 
> I look at the gentleman's glasses, I can't adjust the zyl frame he's wearing to raise the bifocal as high as he wants it, so I go get the chart to order a remake.
> 
> The lenses were made over 2 years ago.  
> ...


 

I know the feeling/:idea:

----------


## chip anderson

I had a patient come in Monday and state that he wanted a new (prosthetic) eye.  

Then he said:  "Can you tell me what it'll look like?"

I replied:  "If I do it right, it'll look like your other eye."

----------


## For-Life

When a person has never had their eyes examined by you, and you ask them when the last time they had their eyes examined.  They then reply asking you why you cannot look it up.

Had one person come in for a repair, and said their are under warranty.  Could not find the person in the files, and he says that he got them somewhere else, but says "aren't all of you guys connected?"

----------


## opticaldork

any paul frank fans out there?  i have a paul frank shirt i wear at work to mock customers who bother me for screws.  it reads:

"i just need a screw!"  (with a picture of a frame being repaired)

...i love that shirt.

----------


## Canadian

A couple of weeks ago, a px came in to have her pals checked.  She had her eyes tested with one of our docs, but filled her rx at shoppers.  I marked up the progressive and checked to be sure the rx was made correctly, and it was.  I had her try on the glasses and immediately I could see that the pd in one lens was out.  I measured her pd, checked what was in the glasses, found it was out by 3 mm.  Px told me she turns her head slightly and can see better out of that eye.  I always try to be nice to the competition in these cases.  I chose my words carefully, mistakes can be made.  I explained to the px that I found the pd to be out slightly, and I asked her to go back to shoppers and have them check it.  I even gave her my card, and wrote on the back for the optician to double check pd and to call me if she had any questions. 
Phone rings... "You get it out 3 mm.  I get it out 2 mm.  And well, well, did you measure the near pd?"  
   I said no, pals do not need a near pd.  the inset of the reading is preset, or automatic.  (I realize there are a few out there that can have custom near pd's, but this was not one of those lenses)
   She said that she always takes a near pd, her lab requires it and blah, blah.  She told me that the reason why her px could not see well out of her glasses was because one eye converged more and that I should have taken a near pd.  I hate it when people want me to check glasses from somewhere else.  I always hope there is no error.  

I guess I was ranting a little bit.  Some other stupid questions....
I need to find some glasses for my mother.  
I say "where is your mother".  
Not here, but we look the same. 

I just woke up and they were like that, in pieces.  

I carefully instruct px to never put clear care (peroxide solution) direct into eye.  6 hour minimum to neutralize.  One px came back for a 2 week check and says oh, it was really something.  I mixed up the bottles and put clear care into my eye.  

I once was doing a slit lamp exam on a cl px, and had to ASK her to open her eyes.  

Why does my step mother keep saying to me she must be a good cl candidate, because she was able to wear her sisters contacts, oh and see fairly well?  My step mother is a president and ceo of a large company!!

I nearly want to walk out of the office, get in my car and drive home whenever people are amazed they can not see out of the frames they try on off the wall.  

I thought eye exams were free.  

I need an appointment to get my eyes looked at?  fit for contacts?

I can't believe you were closed on a holiday.  Here I was, preparing supper for a family HOLIDAY gathering, and my glasses fell apart!  They are my only pr.  I don't have a spare! 

Why is it when I spend an hour training new cl px on care, cleanliness, insertion and removal and then they are back in 2 weeks for a progress check, and they go to take out their lenses without washing their hands? 

Why do people say they wear their lenses for 8 or 10 hours per day, and I say you put them in when you get up?  YUP.  And you take them out when you go to sleep?  YUP.  I guess they are big sleepers.  

A contact lens px was in for a 2 week check up after we switched him to a different brand.  I asked how they felt.  He said good, except after he woke up with them in.  (not extended wear)

I think with things you teach people, it sometimes goes in one ear and out the other.  Anyways.

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

Last month this guy comes in and lays his spectacles down on the counter and says they are making his eyes red.  He bought them 6 months ago and his rx is from one yr. ago.  I told him I've never heard of glasses making a persons eyes red but sometimes it happens w/ contacts.  The Dr. re-checked his eyes and we sent his glasses back to our lab.  Our lab sent them back to us and said everything checked out ok.  The patient comes in to pick them up and asks me if they were redone. I lied and said "yes".  He said "They're fantastic." and left...It takes all kinds!!!!

----------


## optigrrl

Hunh - maybe this "magic-bench/tray" thing REALLY does work!:drop:

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

Yeah, I told the O.D. where I work this story and she told me her brother an optician  in Fla. has a " MAGIC DRAWER".;)

----------


## optigrrl

Roflol!!!

----------


## For-Life

Lady comes in and asks for a price on a frame, AR, thinner lens.  Give it to her.

She comes back and says we have the best price in town.  She goes and grabs two pairs, we bill it out (plus a discount) and she freaks.  She said you quoted me XXX.  We go, yes for one pair.  Oh, I thought all of the prices included two pairs.

----------


## SarahMP584

> Yeah, I told the O.D. where I work this story and she told me her brother an optician in Fla. has a " MAGIC DRAWER".;)


Ha HA!! I have an entire magic LABORATORY!!!!! 

When I worked at NVI back in NC,  if I couldnt find anything wrong with the glasses I would take them back in the lab and my friend Don would wave his hands over them, Then the customer would go: "PERFECT!!" Gosh I miss that place!!

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

[QUOTE=sharon m./ aboc]Yeah, I told the O.D. where I work this story and she told me her brother an optician in Fla. has a " MAGIC DRAWER".;)[/QUOTE

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

> Ha HA!! I have an entire magic LABORATORY!!!!! 
> 
> When I worked at NVI back in NC, if I couldnt find anything wrong with the glasses I would take them back in the lab and my friend Don would wave his hands over them, Then the customer would go: "PERFECT!!" Gosh I miss that place!!


  HOW IS IT WORKING OUT  FOR YOU IN CALIFORNIA? A NEW MARRIAGE AND A NEW STATE.  VERY STRESSFUL STUFF.

----------


## William Walker

Thinking of this thread, I had to write myself a note a work to remember this older woman I saw the other day. She picked her glasses up in the morning, but had to bring them back that afternoon because the nosepads had to be replaced. No problem with that. The reason why? Not the fit, no, that would be normal. Her complaint - this type of nosepad smells bad! How do you respond to this professionally?!?I bit my lip quite well, I'm proud to say.

And I had a woman today who started to give me grief because we don't give free eye exams for contacts like they have at a competitor's optical.  Then, when I proceed to tell her the machine in the front of that department does not give an exam, she starts walking off because she doesn't have time to listen. Oh well, can't win them all.

William

----------


## frank

I have actually had "new" frames in my office that did have nose pads that smell.  Some sort of weird plastic I guess.

Had a guy call me last week and said his old lenses were scratched really bad and would it cost him anything to get new lenses.  I asked when he got the lenses and he said about 2 years ago.  I then asked why he thought new lenses would not cost him anything.  He said he thought we were having a sale.  Hell of a sale, huh?

----------


## Johns

Many od the nosepads have a high concentration of pertroleum in them.  If they are not allowed to air out prior to packaging, the odor becomes trapped, and it may take weeks or even months before the smell disapates.  Cheap frames have the same problem. (Take a cheap reader out of the cello wrap at the and smell one)  Many customers are very sensitive to this.

----------


## Alteaon

I had a pt come in to return her glasses. Her reasoning is that she thought they looked like crap ( hence what you get in a semi rimless w/ a high Rx and refusing to go beyond what your insurance pays for). She also said that her frame smelled so bad, she couldn't stand it! So she shoves it in my face, and yes, it smells....on the nose pads and on the temples...where her skin touches it...  

What got me here wasn't so much her complaint,, but her rude behavior. In the end, I gave her a refund because she said that we had no selection, that they all looked the same. ( almost 1000 frames and they're all the same?), and she wanted contacts anyway.

While some types of plastics can smell, it's some attitudes and behaviors that really rot.

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

Wm. Walker (fellow Costco employee) you are gonna love this...... I had a guy come in over the weekend with the most scratched up lenses I have ever seen and I've seen quite a few.  His year warranty wasn't up yet so I told him we could send them in to have his lenses replaced,but he didn't have a backup pair.  I asked him how he was cleaning them and he said he WAS using paper products(which I told him not to do anymore) and he said he was using warm water and soap.  I jokingly said you're not using LAVA soap are you?   HA Ha...And he said YES!!!!!!!!
        Incidentally he bought his glasses at another store ,so it wasn't our store that failed to tell him how to care for his lenses.

----------


## William Walker

You kinda hope after the first scratch, you'd get a clue...

Oh well,  :Rolleyes:

----------


## chip anderson

I've had the Lava Soap problem with contact lens patients.  Almost as stupid and patients and practioners who use or advise using tooth past for cleaning and polishing contacts.  If you are one of these, take a new lens and "clean" it with same, then look at it through a magnifier with a light.  Scractches the H out of the.  Does get the deposits (which will re-form in 15min wear due to scratches) off though.


Chip

I even know labs who's reps advise "toothpaste cleaning" for rigid lenses.  Guess they sell a lot of replacements.
:cheers:

----------


## For-Life

> I've had the Lava Soap problem with contact lens patients. Almost as stupid and patients and practioners who use or advise using tooth past for cleaning and polishing contacts. If you are one of these, take a new lens and "clean" it with same, then look at it through a magnifier with a light. Scractches the H out of the. Does get the deposits (which will re-form in 15min wear due to scratches) off though.
> 
> 
> Chip
> 
> I even know labs who's reps advise "toothpaste cleaning" for rigid lenses. Guess they sell a lot of replacements.
> :cheers:


I had a contact lens rep who recommended Opti-Free NO RUB as a solution to prevent tearing of his company's easy to tear lenses.  Now you do not have to rub them :)

----------


## For-Life

A guy comes in from the remote area up north with a pair or Irlen lenses and frame, and wants us to edge them into the frame for his friend.  The lenses just have the sphere and cyl written on it, no axis, no prescription, no PD, and the cylinder in one eye is -2.00.  So we say we need him for the measurement of the PD and the RX.

So today a man who looks and smells like a bear comes in.  It is the guy whose lenses and frame for the irlen job belongs to.  Problem is we still have no RX.  He cannot remember who did the eye exam.  So I try to call Irlen, but the numbers on their website are wrong (no surprise).  Anyways, it appears that these uncut lenses are 20 years old.  So we had to send him away to get an exam.

----------


## spexlady

William[/QUOTE]Her complaint - this type of nosepad smells bad! 



Actually have had this complaint before.  I thought she was wacked, but whatever....    A couple months later we got some new frame and trying them on I noticed some of them did have nosepads that stank!!!   They were vinyl nosepads and the material was still out-gasing!

----------


## chip anderson

For-Life: 

Don't you believe it, rubbing is highly beneficial in the removal of protein and other foriegn matter. The No-Rub is like "Anti-Bacterial" soap. Strictly an advertizing gimmic. For general information "Anti-Bacterial Soap" leaves exactly the same bacteria count on the hands as plain old ivory bar or any other soap. It can also eventually impregnate softlenses (those worn for a period of time) with just enough chemical to sting or cause allergy symptoms.

Chip
Never take anything anyone selling something to you as the truth without expericence to back it up.

I even had  a Ciba Rep tell me that the bubbles were "cleaning the lens".  The bubbles are hydrogen gas being released from the peroxide (which is why it doesn't need a preservative other than an opaque bottle) in the conversion to saline.   *Don't Believe Salesmen*.

Ciba once had a near perfect system but they had a cleaner from Alcon, and a saline spray from Allergan in the kit and appearently the threesome couldn't get along.

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

This is why I love Clear Care peroxide based contact lens cleaning solution..........no rubbing and hardly any preservatives that always  irritate my eyes after about eight hrs of contact lens wear.  I am still having a hard time finding it here in Colorado.  I was told that the Ciba factory in Canada has resumed  production after the contamination problem.  I found some in a Wal Mart in Oklahoma this summer and I bought 3 bottles.  I think that is the problem....... people find it and buy as much as they can because they're afraid they won't be able to find it.

----------


## Ory

> I even had a Ciba Rep tell me that the bubbles were "cleaning the lens". The bubbles are hydrogen gas being released from the peroxide (which is why it doesn't need a preservative other than an opaque bottle) in the conversion to saline.


Not to be too picky but it is actually oxygen bubbles being released.  Hydrogen peroxide is H2O2, the little platinum disc acts as a catalyst to take the free radical oxygen molecules and stick them together to make O2.  What is left is H2O or water.

Releasing a whole lot of hydrogen gas in your bathroom may not be the best idea.

----------


## Happylady

I had a woman call the other day and tell me it was an emergency that she get in that day. She said she couldn't see anything when she went outside. I was quite concerned until she explained the reason she couldn't see was that she had been wearing the same pair of Night & Day contacts since December!

She was supposed to call and make a follow up appointment but never did. Since it has been 7 months we told her a follow up would be $25.00. She had no money, no credit cards, and of course no glasses. She was rather rude, of course her problems were our fault.

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

> her problems were our fault.


      Of course it's your fault!!!! Who elses would it be?:bbg:



THIS IS THE BEST AND MOST THERAPEUTIC THREAD EVER ......KEEP 'EM COMING.:cheers:

----------


## SarahMP584

> HOW IS IT WORKING OUT FOR YOU IN CALIFORNIA? A NEW MARRIAGE AND A NEW STATE. VERY STRESSFUL STUFF.


Thanks for asking sharon! 

Stressful, THAT IS FOR SURE! 
We were engaged when we moved here and got married in december. 
 The one good thing is that I went ahead and took my tests for ABO, NCLE, and got both my licenses. I wouldnt have been done with my apprenticeship back home. 
AND, Opticians make better money in NC, yet things are twice as expensive out here! 
Its my husbands job, they dont just develop top secret aircraft anywhere, just in the middle of the desert! So, we will be stuck here for a while :hammer:

----------


## curlyclaz

i have just adjusted the nose pads on a childs frame, i put them back on and he sad ' are they still the same colour?' made me smile !

----------


## spexgrrrl

While working in the mall we always got this:   "Sunglass Hut is wondering if they could borrow one of your screwdrivers."  Or this:   "I bought these over at Sunglass Hut and they said you could special order the parts to fix 'em."  And sometimes the cell phone booth would send over a person to borrow a tool!!!

----------


## optigrrl

Hahaha! I totally forgot about working at the mall!

How about my favourite - "I just bought these at Sunglass Hut/Neimans/Nordstroms and they said you could adjust them for me."

(Why didn't Sunglass Hut send these people to LensCrafters????????)

----------


## For-Life

We get the $5 rimless sunglasses back all of the time for repairs.  People need to start understanding that these are DISPOSABLE sunglasses, and once they break or get lost you need to move on.

But hehe, all they need are tinny whinny, itsy bitsy, screws...

Then if you want to charge them they tell you that they only paid $5.00 for them.  It doesn't matter that I spent 30 minutes fixing them.  You know there are a lot of tinny whinny, itsy bitsy things on earth that cost a lot of money.

But what really gets me is that when you are done they just take their glasses and leave.  They do not even ask how much they owe you.  Like we are expected to do all of their work for them.

----------


## spexgrrrl

Oooo....thought of more mall nightmares.  I remember little kids trying to violently rip our Silhouettes out of the display mount.  I'd say "Sorry little guy but these frames cost alot of money and we don't want them grabbed like that...blah blah blah...." and one time this kids mom says  "Yeah, and I see you have them right at child's reach too...."   I wanted to punch these parents that let their kids run all over the place!!

Another stupid question was "How come every time I come into this place you people are so busy and I have to wait to get some service!?!?!"  And they'd always say it when its like 2:00 on a Saturday!!!   

:angry:

----------


## sharon m./ aboc

I almost forgot about this little gem.....

In Colorado contact lens prescriptions are only good for 1 yr. and glasses for 2yrs.(unless the dr. writes it for 1yr)  so I just love it when people ask me why their insurance will only pay for an exam every 2 yr's.  Duh....why don't you ask the insurance company?......I'll just bet it's because they don't wanna pay for one every year.  Not really all that hard to figure out.:hammer:

----------


## EyeFitWell

I know this thread's been dead for a while, but I just had to share...
A lady asked me today if I could make her glasses lighter.
I explained that the weight of the glasses is directly tied in with the lens and frame materials, and that if she'd like to purchase new lenses or both, I could suggest some very light things.
She told me that she didn't need new glasses, that her current ones are fine, but she wants me to make them lighter.

Now there's someone who missed out on the fundamentals of Physics!

----------


## Dave Nelson

I am shocked that you know of no way to lighten the glasses. There actually a number of ways to do it. 
A) file some lens and frame material off.
B) tie helium balloons to the glasses- this is the best method. with a large enough baloon, you can actually acheive neutral boyancy.
C) Have the client wear the glasses going down in a really fast elevator. This will indeed reduce the weight of the glasses, but the effect is, admittedly, temporary.
D) the easiest method is to advise the client to gain some weight. While this will not lighten the glasses per se, it will make them lighter RELATIVE to the person wearing them. 
E) Attatch a counterweight to the glasses, with a lever. While this will make the glasses lighter, the counterweight and assembly will weigh in at a respectable amount. If a designer frame company can design the counterweight assembly, we can sell another accessory to people. ("would you like the Armani counterweight madam?")

I hope you can realize that there is always a solution to every problem, and that the customer is always right. There is no need to let pesky laws- of-physics stand in the way of a satisfied customer. :Rolleyes:

----------


## EyeFitWell

LOLOL 
Dave, at first, I was concerned that I might truly be missing something I should know...
That was so funny!

I haven't read through all the posts so I apologize if this has been said, but I have people ask me all the time, "Is this plastic, or metal?"
Don't you think that's something your average idiot could distinguish between?  These people are NOT dilated, btw!

----------


## EyeFitWell

I'm surprised that I haven't come across this one yet, but it's one of the first I'd heard:
"I need more medathine in my glathes."
So you would like to update your lenses?
"NO!  These lenthes are fine, but they need more medathine!!"

Right...let me just grab my needle and the penacillin!

----------


## Echo419

We had a yellow page ad that said "large frame selection",  A rather robust women came in and said she saw our add and I need a large frame.

I had a patient call the day of her appt and cancel, she said she just started her period.

I have had countless patient's try on a frame with the demo lenses in and exclaim you realize I still don't see any better!

----------


## EyeFitWell

Pt calls today and says, "I found some frames at another shop that I just love. They're metal wire frames and they come in various colors. Have you heard of those?":hammer:

----------


## DRAINGE1

I once had someone ask me..."Do you sell bathing suits?"  :hammer: 
What the.... %$#@?  I wrote that on the bathroom mirror for all to see!! lol

"What do you mean i have to pay? I have insurance!!!!! :finger: 

Oh i don't need an exam, i just want new glasses, theses don't work anymore. Can you do that???!?!?! :Confused:

----------


## zspook1

> "The Medicine fell out of my glasses cuz I Can't see so well...Can you put the medicine back into my glasses?"
> 
> 
> 
> AA


This goesback a lot longer than I have been using a handstone, but those who came before us in this great business, were called itinerant(sic) opticians, and they would go to the farmers and with a primitive trial lens set they would refract the farmer then sell him the glasses, upon the delivery of said glasses the optician would tell the farmer "now Mr. Farmer these glasses will work for a couple of years, but then the medicine will run out and I will be back to help you." If our prefathers had just said what they already new-your friggin eyes are going to change, we as an industry might be thought of a little better.
but my stupidest question ever asked....A lady came into my office for an adjustment.  I did my normal rebuild. Her spex were an ancient Giorgio Armani (luxotica) maybe it was a 138, face cheeze everywhere, she ws a smoker, new screws, remove and clean lenses, and change nosepads.  Class A job guys.  She took the glasses back and was sooooo haaappy, until.. she saw her nosepads were not Armani.   She stormed back into my office and demanded her _Armani nosepads!_ The only time in my career I ever was the smart *** I think I am was this time. So I dug through my old nasty decreipt tray full of used nosepads and found a nasty pair of _Armani_ nosepads and replaced the new soft silicone pads with a light green pair of_ Armani_ pads. Do you ever feel that there are some people that should not be allowed to buy glasses?

----------


## Scott R

400 LBS bearded woman walks into the shop & asks what I can do to make her look young & pretty.
 Tell her I am only an optician-NOT A GOD!!


Pt walks in to P/U new Specs -10.50 with cyl ou. 1.74 Alize  Paul Smith Frame ect...
Pt puts on new specs for the first time 
Pt slams specs on table and yells I CANT SEE OUT OF THESE & THEY COST ME $1000 
 I ask her to *TAKE HER CLS OUT*

Why cant you just glue in the new lenses like the shop across the street did last year?

----------


## CME4SPECS

I got a phone call yesterday. The caller asked how much it was going to cost to have a molar pulled!!

----------


## curlyclaz

When I was working elsewhere I had px phone to say will my contact lenses be ok I just had my coil fitted !!!!!

----------


## Cindy K

> When I was working elsewhere I had px phone to say will my contact lenses be ok I just had my coil fitted !!!!!


And she felt the fitting of her appliance could do What to her contacts???Goodness Gracious, some of these folks really shouldn't have contacts (darn good thing they get coils, though!!)

----------


## FVCCHRIS

> I got a phone call yesterday. The caller asked how much it was going to cost to have a molar pulled!!


I would have asked "how much would you like to spend on that" then insisted on an appointment for the procedure. I recommend the Large 90 degree non-stainless cutter pliers. That's the ticket..Chris..:hammer:

----------


## chip anderson

Curly was that a coil IUD?

----------


## chip anderson

Had an opthalmologist who had a reputation better than his skills at hard contact lenses ask: "What size do you use?":drop:

----------


## Dave Metzger

I use 3x4 ziploc bags to return customers old lenses, I told one that her old lenses are in the lens bag. She asked "what's a lens bag used for?" not seeing the old lenses.

I responded " Lens bags are used for practicing safe spex"

----------


## curlyclaz

Yes the coil is an IUD !!! I was worried where she put her lenses !!!!!

----------


## Dave Nelson

Not to rain on anyone's parade, buy are we quite sure the phone call regarding getting a coil fitted wasn't referring to a coil magnifier?

----------


## Scott R

I will see if my _Opstigenerest_ has an appointment avilable to check on the coil. When he finishes with that i will give him the hammer to take care of the mollar. Two quick wacks to the right temple should fix it.:hammer:
I'll ask him if you are seeing 10/10 on each side also

----------


## Alteaon

" Sir, your contact lens Rx is expired. You'll need another exam before I can sell you more."

"What?! You mean I have to wear my glasses?? That's rediculous. Let me speak to your manager!"

----------


## foureyes

a minute ago a woman came in to get new glasses, but she wanted to use her own frame. i told her she had frame coverage and she said ok, but could she get the lenses changed first and just change the frame later?

(using her new lenses?!)

:-)

----------


## Uncle Fester

Last week---patient:"I got these new glasses a while ago but if you look closely at them you can see I wore them twice and haven't worn them since. Can I exchange them for something else?" Progressives of course.  

I said "let me get your file and see what we can do".

"Well we do have a problem as my records show you picked them up in April
2004."
:drop:

----------


## chip anderson

Fester:  You just don't understand, she only wore them twice so they are still like brand-new!   Was she blond?

----------


## efsamuel

Pt came in with Rx, I need new glasses. After trying on about 15 frames (one was too scratchy, one was too flimsy-titanium, one was too heavy etc) she stopped and asked if I was going to put her old lenses into a new frame don't I need to have a frame just like the one she brought in? 

Just to be sure I understood I asked "these lenses" and pointed to her current lenses. 
"Yes"
You want them in a new frame?
"Yes"
Didn't you just get a new Rx?
"Yes"
Can I use the Rx on the paper you just gave me since it is newer and make new lenses?
"Thats a real good idea!"
:hammer:

----------


## Uncle Fester

Chip: In the bluest of blue politically correct Peoples Republ...uhmmm... Commonwealth of Massachusetts  you get in hot water answering your last question;)

----------


## Scott R

Got a winner today. Women walks in with a broken frame she bought 6 months ago. Hinge popped off the rivets. I told her I will replace it under warentee. I just need to order one so it will be a few days. *She told me that she would perfer to pay for the replacement in order to keep the warentee in effect. :hammer:*

----------


## LENNY

Did you refuse? :Confused:

----------


## mrmac

A woman wanted to return her glasses, her complaint..... They are just too light.

----------


## chip anderson

When I used to teach contact lens fitting.  I would tell residents what I did, they would respond:  "K readings?"  as though this somehow imparted knowledge and expertise.

----------


## efsamuel

> A woman wanted to return her glasses, her complaint..... They are just too light.


I have had that happen before. The lightness gives the impression of fragility here in farm country. You need to get her some big 'ol clunky frames. They last longer. :p

----------


## FOREYES21

After almost 20 years in the business I thought I had heard everything...until last night.  It was five minutes before closing and a patient came out of the exam room and started trying on frames.  I usually stay later to finish paperwork so I didn't want to discourage her from looking and possibly lose a sale.  She spent 30 minutes trying on frames and then asking me to try them on so she could see what they would look like on her.  She was mid sixties, petite with curly blonde hair.  I am at least 20 years younger, six inches taller and have straight , dark hair.  She finally narrows it down to two frames and then asks me to draw pictures of them so she can show them to her sister at home.  I explained to her that I'm an optician not an artist.  She proceeded to sketch these two frames.  My nine year old could have drawn better pictures!  Then she wrote a description of each frame in her own optical terms.  She was showing no signs of leaving so I finally started to turn out the lights.  She promised to come back next week.  Hmm...maybe next week would be a good time to take those last few vacation days I have left  :Rolleyes:

----------


## Cindy K

Lady comes in today and asks if we have 'one of those little cleaning cloths you get when you get your glasses'. Recognising straight away that she did not get her glasses from us, I point to the ones we sell and advise her the price. She then states that maybe she should return to where she bought her eyewear and ask *them* to give her one as she didn't get one when she got her glasses. 

Sigh.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> After almost 20 years in the business I thought I had heard everything...until last night.  It was five minutes before closing and a patient came out of the exam room and started trying on frames.  I usually stay later to finish paperwork so I didn't want to discourage her from looking and possibly lose a sale.  She spent 30 minutes trying on frames and then asking me to try them on so she could see what they would look like on her.  She was mid sixties, petite with curly blonde hair.  I am at least 20 years younger, six inches taller and have straight , dark hair.  She finally narrows it down to two frames and then asks me to draw pictures of them so she can show them to her sister at home.  I explained to her that I'm an optician not an artist.  She proceeded to sketch these two frames.  My nine year old could have drawn better pictures!  Then she wrote a description of each frame in her own optical terms.  She was showing no signs of leaving so I finally started to turn out the lights.  She promised to come back next week.  Hmm...maybe next week would be a good time to take those last few vacation days I have left


One thing I've learned after 34 years in the business is  - - - NEVER think you've see or heard it all. Because if you do - the next person in will prove you wrong! ;)

I had one guy bring in his 15 year old girl ( or thereabouts) about 15 minutes before closing.Said girl goes over to the frame board (about 1000 frames) and starts trying on frames. Each one gets the same routine: put on frame,fluff hair, poke out chest,look at self sideways in mirror, fluff hair, then rip them off and throw them on the table with an exclamation"I hate those!". Repeat at least 50 times and now it's an hour after closing with no end in sight. Dad is sitting on a chair by the door, doing nothing. When I mentioned that it was now an hour after closing and I had to get home, she got mad and dragged her dad out the door. Fortunately, she never returned.

----------


## Scott R

> Did you refuse?


I replaced the hinge. (I belive its bad charma, she is a senior citizen on a fixed income) Today she came to pick them up. She broke the same side hinge in the same model frame in her nv rx. This time she decided to buy a new frame and have the hinge replaced to keep the old frame as a spare.

----------


## eyegoddess1028

i love this.

my vision is so bad i see 60/200.  

i dont use them for driving (rx reads -200 with 3 diopters cylinder...heres my number call me when you are on the road)

these arethe worst glasses the screw is stripped...when did you get them...5 yrs ago

i dont want to pay for slab off, just leave it off

so i can get a pair for $99 dollars?.yes, those are plastic lenses with lined bifocals..(refused upgrades, old glasses varilux platnium series, ar and high index)... returns them when she cant see right and yells at us b/c she wasnt told  (after cringing during the fitting because I wanted to not sell her apair anyway)

just give me the cheapest contacts, i dont care what the doctor writes

they told me it was a lifetime warranty!

and my personal favorite...i know i only have vison in one eye, i dont care if the glass shatters, i want the cheapest pair, i only use them to see...(i know your leg has just been cut off but asprin is cheaper than darvocet)

----------


## KStraker

" I laid my glasses upside down on the night stand and all the medicine ran out"  a close second....patient walks in the front door of our show room with thousands of frames staring her in the face and asks, "Do y'all sell glasses here?"

----------


## motelska

Here's 2... that I've had in the same conversation... and one from my co-worker

*11am phone rings*... I answer "Dr X's Office how can I help you?"
Q: Are you open?
A: (If i wasn't, would I answer the phone?) "Yes, we open the office at 9am"

Q:"I wanted to make an appointment but I've never been there. Do you know what insurance I have?"
A:(Yeah I have ESP I can look at you and tell you what vision insurance you have) "I'm sorry, I don't know, you'd have to check with your benefits administrator but I'd be glad to schedule an appointment"


Courtesy of my co-worker, and she's really been asked this.

Q:Can I have sex with my contacts on?
A:Only if you want to see who you're having sex with.

----------


## catchthevision

I think one of the many stupidest question I have been asked, just happened to be asked today. I had a patient ask me what her options were when it came to her lenses. Half way thru my lil spill an answering her questions along the way she asked if she could be brutely honest with me. She than proceeded to tell me that she feels like she is buying a car when anyone tells her options and all she wants is the things she wants but no one listens to what she wants. Never once did she tell me what she wanted done or the type of lenses she wanted made. Then without warning she got up and walked out of our office. I'm still in shock  :Confused: . I have a stupid question of my own now...Did i not understand her question when she asked me to tell her her options?

----------


## k12311997

> Couurtesy of my co-worker, and she's really been asked this.
> 
> Q:Can I have sex with my contacts on?
> A:Only if you want to see who you're having sex with.


A.  they're contacts not Viagra

A.  (looking up and down) I doubt it.

A. Contacts not Beer Googles.

----------


## Dave Nelson

> One thing I've learned after 34 years in the business is - - - NEVER think you've see or heard it all. Because if you do - the next person in will prove you wrong! ;)
> 
> I had one guy bring in his 15 year old girl ( or thereabouts) about 15 minutes before closing.Said girl goes over to the frame board (about 1000 frames) and starts trying on frames. Each one gets the same routine: put on frame,fluff hair, poke out chest,look at self sideways in mirror, fluff hair, then rip them off and throw them on the table with an exclamation"I hate those!". Repeat at least 50 times and now it's an hour after closing with no end in sight. Dad is sitting on a chair by the door, doing nothing. When I mentioned that it was now an hour after closing and I had to get home, she got mad and dragged her dad out the door. Fortunately, she never returned.


I once had a lady ask me to start with the top/left frame on our board, crtique it, advise on the shape and color, then move to the second from the top/left, and do this to every frame in our shop. 1000+ frames. She really and truly wanted me to critique EVERY frame in the place before she made her choice. When I told her that, even if I spent 1 minute per frame, it would take 12 hours. She replied "well, I have time." :hammer:

----------


## specs2see

" if i get these rimless glasses, wont the medicine fall out":hammer:

----------


## Nettie

Do I need an appointment to look at your frames?
Can the Dr. see me on his day off?
After explaining to patient that glasses take 5-7 business days...."So can I get these by tomorrow?"

A lady just yesterday got all pissy because I didn't carry her toric lenses in stock.  After telling her that torics have to be ordered because the powers vary so widely she said "Well I will just go somewhere that DOES carry them in stock!!!"
 Good luck with that.:p

----------


## Radio Star

Note: Conversation edited for brevity


Her: "I bought glasses two weeks ago from XXXX (nearby competitor)."

Me: "..."

Her: "Are they ready?"

Me: "... maybe?"

Her: "Can I pick them up here?"

----------


## Aarlan

> I had one guy bring in his 15 year old girl ( or thereabouts) about 15 minutes before closing.Said girl goes over to the frame board (about 1000 frames) and starts trying on frames. Each one gets the same routine: put on frame,fluff hair, poke out chest,look at self sideways in mirror, fluff hair, then rip them off and throw them on the table with an exclamation"I hate those!". Repeat at least 50 times and now it's an hour after closing with no end in sight. Dad is sitting on a chair by the door, doing nothing. When I mentioned that it was now an hour after closing and I had to get home, she got mad and dragged her dad out the door. Fortunately, she never returned.


We had a great story like that about 14 years ago.  I was not working, but both working that night told me the same story.  About 10 minutes before closing a pair of little old ladies stroll up and look at the posted hours of operation.  Seeing the shop is still open the walk in and proceed to start looking at frames.
The optician asks them if they need any help and one woman responds, "no just browsing."
15 minutes go by (5 minutes after closing) and the same optician asks the same question, with the woman giving the same response, "just looking."
15-20 minutes later the owner comes out to ask if he can help them.  When they tell him that they are just looking, he explains that the store normally would be closed, and that the optician and he both had plans for the evening, and they were welcome to come back during any of their normal business hours.
Well, the woman just about went off the deep end with, "well I never...., if don't need our business, then we'll go somewhere else!!  And I'm going to tell all of my friends about how rude you are!!!"  

The owner responded in a level voice, "That's your choice.  Our hours are clearly marked and we've already stayed later for you.   If you would, please tell all of your friends and family, because in my experience, birds of a feather flock together, and if they are anything like you, we really don't need their business either.  Have a good night." 


Wish I was there to see that first hand!!

AA

----------


## For-Life

I was working at one place that closed at 5pm.  This lady and her son come in at 4:55pm and starts looking for frames for him.  At 5:30pm she switches to start looking for frames for herself.  At 5:55pm she starts asking about the video game system in the store and asks if we could turn it on so she can play on it.  I told her it was broken and she finally left.

----------


## ohmjennie

most annoying event....happens ALL the time.
PT: Yeah, I started wearing glasses when I was 5 (pt now 80) and had these really ugly plastic frames. 
then when I was 18 I joined the service and saw a military dr. I was in the service for 20 years then I retired and started seeing dr. x across the street, then he moved up north and I had to start coming here. I've been seeing the doctor here for 5 years now and he is really good. I came last week for an eye exam and I had to get new glasses. Can you tell me, ARE THEY READY YET????????!~~!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AND FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD.....
I used to work for a large practice in Virginia with MD's, and OD's and a billing dept. in a separate building.....anyway......
one of the billers came over to one of the MD's with a claim denial from medicare. along with an explanation for the denied claim.
apparently the coder flipped two numbers. the explanation letter stated 

we do not see how a sperm extraction could have occured through the right eye. 

well the doctors tech said, "yeah especially since it was MRS. Smith."

the doctors response to the billing dept.......

Hey, My techs are could........they could suck the chrome off a bumper......THAT'S how we did the sperm extraction!!!!!!

----------


## ohmjennie

should have been 

techs are GOOD. :Nerd:

----------


## ohmjennie

PT.... what kind of insurance do you take?

me.....(i wish)

well have a seat here and let me just go get the book and we can start from the A's.....how's that sound to you? do you have a couple of hours?

(i HATE that question.)

or this one.....

Pt comes in and just looks at you......
can I help you?
yeah, John Doe.  (silence......nothing else, just silence)
 A LITTLE INFORMATION HERE PEOPLE..........PLEASE!!!!

and the other annoying thing.....

pt comes in start looking at frames.....
walk up to pt...."Hi, do you need any help?"
pt...."oh NO, I am JUST looking."

me...."okay well if you need any help or have any questions just let me know."  start to walk away.... 15 ft away.....

pt...."which frames do you think would look good on me?"  :cry:

----------


## AxisTurner

Had a woman bring in a plastic frame that was beyond description in it's condition!  She wanted to know if it could be fixed. (generally I try to never turn down a challenge, but this was BEYOND saving) Horribly warped, plasticizers all brought to the top... t'weren't pretty!!  So I told her "no", but could she please tell me what happened to them.  She said that her boyfriend had been complaining about them being loose, and she had been told you should always heat a plastic frame before adjusting it, so she dropped it in boiling water for 10 minutes to "heat" it before adjusting it for him..... :Eek:

----------


## Dave Nelson

Reminds me...I once had a woman pick up a new pair of Neostyle frames with progressives. She felt like the temple was a bit tight, so she "adjusted it at home, herself. It was the "Plaza" series of frames...they were plexiglass... snap goes the temple. No problemo say our gal, I'll just apply a little crazy glue a glue it back on. Gets glue all over both lenses. "No problemo say our gal." "I'll just remove the glue with some steel wool."
24 hours after picking up new $800 specs, brings in a scratched, glued, broken mess, and wants a warranty. (true story) :Rolleyes:

----------


## Happylady

> Reminds me...I once had a woman pick up a new pair of Neostyle frames with progressives. She felt like the temple was a bit tight, so she "adjusted it at home, herself. It was the "Plaza" series of frames...they were plexiglass... snap goes the temple. No problemo say our gal, I'll just apply a little crazy glue a glue it back on. Gets glue all over both lenses. "No problemo say our gal." "I'll just remove the glue with some steel wool."
> 24 hours after picking up new $800 specs, brings in a scratched, glued, broken mess, and wants a warranty. (true story)


So, what did you do? Interesting story.

----------


## Dave Nelson

Wow does my keyboarding need some work. I offered to remake the pair for a 25% courtesy discount. She declined, and I never saw her again.

----------


## KStraker

This genius just called and said that the poly lenses he paid extra for are too light. :hammer:

----------


## motelska

> PT.... what kind of insurance do you take?
> 
> Pt comes in and just looks at you......
> can I help you?
> yeah, John Doe. (silence......nothing else, just silence)
> A LITTLE INFORMATION HERE PEOPLE..........PLEASE!!!!


Or better yet... 

Pt comes in, and says "I'm here to pick up my lenses"
*pause*
"ok glasses or contact lenses?" 
*response*
*pause*
*pause*
... "your name please?"
Pt says, "oh yeah, sorry. Jane/John"
*pause*
*pause*
"and your last name Jane?"
(then comes the brilliance in all it's glory)
"they're not for me, they're for my boyfriend/girlfriend"
*pause*
"and his/her name?"

I've had that one a few times... but living in Cali... i get all sorts.

----------


## hipoptical

> ... but living in Cali... i get all sorts.


California...
The land of fruits and nuts...

----------


## motelska

> California...
> The land of fruits and nuts...


Texas... the land of steers and queers.

----------


## Dave Nelson

Can't we all just get along? :Rolleyes:

----------


## motelska

> Can't we all just get along?


I was poking fun... hell I'm gay, and I make fun of everyone. 

Doesn't everyone know... "if you have nothing nice to say... come sit by me"

----------


## optocarol

Yesterday - young woman, obviously part Polynesian, walks in. Manager and I are standing behind counter. She asks, "Is there anything I can do about these rust spots in my eyes?" 

We both wondered if we'd heard correctly, but we had. I was so tempted to say something like, "Well, you could have chosen different parents."

The last 2 weeks before I retire I think I'll say all those things I've wanted to say for 30 years!

----------


## Fezz

> The last 2 weeks before I retire I think I'll say all those things I've wanted to say for 30 years!



I hope you can make it in this blasted business and actually be able to retire!

----------


## eyepod

> It isn't necessarily so stupid, but the one that cracks me up over and over is this...
> 
> Doc, why do my eyes feel soooo heavy?
> 
> You just have to be in the south to understand how funny that can sound!:D


I don't get it.

----------


## chip anderson

"What kind of president do you think Hillary will be?"

----------


## motelska

I got a new one today... I've never heard this and I had to keep from cracking up in front of the patient.

My elderly patient came in complaining that her glasses were made wrong. I asked her to please explain what her problem was... well she said, "I can't see out of these when I'm sleeping"

:drop:  Are people _that_ dumb?!?!

----------


## rdcoach5

It wasn't really a question, but a stupid response. I had just informed a lady that the 3 piece rimless could be any shape or size. Then while trying one on for color, she remarked the color was good but it was too small. Again ,I reminded her the lens could be larger than the sample. The next sample she tried on was the wrong shape. This continued on and on and on.L walked back in the lab at one point and asked to be shot.

----------


## RGC_man

Just spent a couple of weeks working in a busy lab in an upmarket shopping centre before leaving optics forever. 

Woman comes in and asks, "have you got any wipes for eyes?" "Pardon?" "Wipes! My son bought some Internet contact lenses, and his eyes have gone all red and sore. Do you sell wipes?"

What I said was, "No madam, I suggest you get him to a qualified optician as quickly as possible."

What I wanted to say was, "You dozy tart. Do you want your son to go blind? Do you not realise you only get one pair of eyes?"

Farewell optics. It has been fun.

----------


## Cindy K

> It wasn't really a question, but a stupid response. I had just informed a lady that the 3 piece rimless could be any shape or size.


OMG you had her too, huh? Amazing, she travelled all that way from my dispensary to yours. And not only her, but her husband, brother, mom and dad, daughter, son, neice, nephew, and a few friends also for good measure. 

What is it about the concept of customizing rimless eyewear that just blocks out all sense of reason in so many people? Even when its explained and even demonstrated how one pair of lenses can come out and another shape be in place within seconds. 

:hammer:

----------


## LKahn

I was in a shop a few day ago that was going out of business and overheard a customer ask, "Where will this shop be when it isn't here anymore?" The sales person replied, "No where" .....What more can you say?

----------


## Alteaon

Patient: " I am a patient here and would like to get some contacts"

Optician( after getting information)" Sure, how many boxes would you like?"

Patient:" just one or two lenses. I am out of contacts but don't get paid until Friday, I need some until I can buy more."

--- I so wanted to say that I need gas in my truck but don't feel like buying it, so could I have some?  I did explain that we only use trials for trialing purposes, and they aren't 'free contacts'. She ended up going to a different store that gave in.  I've helped people in a  true bind, but not just because they don't feel like wearing thier glasses or spending the necessary money on contacts. That perscription isn't just a suggestion, lady.

----------


## sharonm516

I had a patient come into the clinic (I used to work in a military hospital), her husband was up there in rank.  She complained to the doctor that the new glasses RX just DOESNT work for her!  She cant see a thing and her vision is perfect without them.  (We recently fit her for contact lenses....one of THE LONGEST teach sessions in my life!!!!!)



 :Eek:  I explained to her that the glasses and contacts are to be worn seperately not together.  Took her 30 minutes to get the concept.

----------


## For-Life

> Patient: " I am a patient here and would like to get some contacts"
> 
> Optician( after getting information)" Sure, how many boxes would you like?"
> 
> Patient:" just one or two lenses. I am out of contacts but don't get paid until Friday, I need some until I can buy more."
> 
> --- I so wanted to say that I need gas in my truck but don't feel like buying it, so could I have some?  I did explain that we only use trials for trialing purposes, and they aren't 'free contacts'. She ended up going to a different store that gave in.  I've helped people in a  true bind, but not just because they don't feel like wearing thier glasses or spending the necessary money on contacts. That perscription isn't just a suggestion, lady.



You missed the part about buying more from their OD or Wal-Mart or something.

----------


## chip anderson

Alteson: 
 The correct answer for this question:  "Don't worry, we take credit cards, we'll be happy to fix you up with a year's supply."

Chip

----------


## k12311997

not a question so much as a statement.  
on the phone

you don't need to send me recalls anymore I had cataract surgery with a multifocal lens I don't need to see the eye doctor anymore.

----------


## Alteaon

> Alteson: 
> The correct answer for this question: "Don't worry, we take credit cards, we'll be happy to fix you up with a year's supply."
> 
> Chip


Funny that you mention this. I went on to tell her about rebates and such that make buying a year's worth more economical than buying them box by box.  To which she replied" Do I still have to pay for them?"....

----------


## motelska

> Funny that you mention this. I went on to tell her about rebates and such that make buying a year's worth more economical than buying them box by box. To which she replied" Do I still have to pay for them?"....


We also mention that when you buy them thru the office, we get a trial lens bank, so if they rip one or one is defective, they have the option of coming here and getting a replacement. I also remind them that if they go elsewhere, and a lens is defective, or tears, they need to contact the place they got the contacts and ask them for a replacement. (I've yet to hear about a costco/walmart/1800contacts giving a free trial as a defective replacement) Usually that gets them to buy them from us.

----------


## motelska

Okay... this isn't necessarilly a stupid question... but shows brilliance... OH YEAH!

Patient had an exam in early September, got a trial pair of lenses, and just now came in and said, "You know I never got my boxes and these are bothering me. Can someone help me get them out?" 

We reply with,"Have you always had trouble getting them in and out of your eyes?" 

She respeonds with, "I've never been able to get them out. So I don't take them out." 

(SINCE SEPTEMBER!!!! IN A 2-WEEK DISPOSABLE LENS!!!!)

----------


## SarahMP584

A guy called today for prices on lenses, I told him and he says "Is that the same for men _and_ women?"  :Nerd:

----------


## nsg

many years ago had woman with one lens badly scratched.how you do this? oh i used sand paper just like my son uses at the lab.

----------


## Redzy

Love the posts. Saw many I've heard over the years and some great ones I haven't. I Have a lot I remember and many I've forgoten.

Here are a few favorites.

[One I was involved in]

Young lady comes in and asks to have a broken nosepad replaced. 
I replace both nosepads. 
" These don't match my old nosepads"
Sorry I don't have any thing that matches your old ones exactly
"Well then just put the good one back on and I'll leave"
(I put old nose pad back on) Ok you can try the place you originally purchased them from
" I don't remember where I got em "
You know that's going to leave a mark on your nose
" I know, I don't care..... how much was it going to cost for the new nosepads"
nothing
"...I'll just keep them like this I don't care" (one intact yellow/green colored nose pad) 
She walks towards the door, I come out from the dispense area and eventually talk her into new nosepads, plus she gets to keep the old one too!


[One I watched]

Optician can't figure out why lenses are all foggy and the coating is chipping away (I know there can be multiple reasons for this).
Customer says "I don't know, I clean them regularly"
Eventually customer explains that many times cleaning involves "shaving creme and a bath towel"

(If only she had used windex instead ;) )


[One I was told about]

Someone calls and eventually shyly asks. "What's the best way to clean Semen off of glasses"  :Cool:  


Gotta love people. Thanks for the posts everyone. :cheers:

----------


## specs4you

So ...don't see this gem on here.  Patient arrives and says, "hey I just need my legs a little longer, can you help me?".  Also asked if I could make their "stems" grow?   Lengthening temples is what I hope they meant.

----------


## optinick

A lady came in with her son about 14 and ordered a new pair of glasses for him. She asked if I would make them and leave the name off. The frame was a Neostyle with rimless demo lenses. I said sure we could they were only sample lenses that had the name. I knew she didn't really trust me, when we finished the sale and she said, " he is getting them WITHOUT the name, Right?"

----------


## steff

Great thread.  I've been laughing my head off!

One of my favourites is when I say, 'ok, I'm just going to have a little look in the back of your eyes now (ophthalmoscopy), they get up out of the chair, and turn around!

steff

----------


## dweinstein

"Are all of your frames bisexual?"

(She meant to say unisex).

----------


## chip anderson

Is there a difference betweeen unisex and bisexual?

----------


## Barry Santini

Having a client ask:

Client: "why did the Dr. change my Rx this way?"

Me: I don't know, why don't you ask him?

Client: "oh, I can't do that...he's too busy!"

Me: "And I'm not?"

Jeeez...

Barry

----------


## Uncle Fester

Receptionist-"Hello can I help you?"

Caller- "Yes.  My glasses don't work."

R- "Ok do you want to set up an appointment to have an eye exam?"

C- "Yes right now! I was in a restaurant and couldn't read the menu."

R- "Well barring a cancellation our next available appointment is in 10 days."

C- "What will I do until then? I suppose you're going to tell me to stop eating?!" 

Her last exam was at least 4 years ago and from another office!

----------


## SarahMP584

I had a guy call me up on sunday..."Are you open for eye exams and to purchase contacts today?" 
"Well sir the doctor is closed on sunday but we are open to purchase contacts." 
"So can I come and get an exam?
 :stifles grumble: "No the doctor is closed on sunday." 
"So I can't come get an exam?"

----------


## For-Life

Comment, not question

"I do not want the new styles, because they are going to go out of style.  I am going to stick with my old style."

----------


## Optowoman

Years ago I told a pt. to look at my nose, only instead of actually saying it I pointed to my nose and said look here.  She crossed her eyes trying to look at her nose.  I had to excuse myself with a coughing laugh fit.

----------


## obxeyeguy

all very funny!!  I live in a tourist area with about 40 miles of beach and I'm the closest optical.  Tourists always call to have eyewear repaired over the phone.  Every year I get " how far are you from me?" with out knowing where they are.

Not a question but,  " I use my eyes a lot"
mark

----------


## eyepod

I once had a woman I worked with....yes I said worked with....ask me if her ponytail would be the cause of her astigmatism.  Man....that must have been one tight ponytaill!!  Ouch.:hammer:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Had a woman come in this afternoon and asked if we could put right lenses only in two pairs of frames.
We replied that we could but we have to examine them first.
She pulls out a metal frame at least 25 years old,horribly corroded and the left eyewire was broken and the lens Elmer's Glued in. And both eyewires had been bent so the frame literally sagged downwards at both temples. We told her that was unsuitable.
 So she pulls out an equally old zyl frame that had been broken across the bridge and been HotFinger repaired and both endpieces were cracking out of the plastic. Again, we tell her the frames are nearly destroyed and unuseable.
 So then she asks, "I have some older ones, do you think they might work?"

----------


## AngryFish

I had a guy and his girlfriend come in to pick up his glasses. He put them on and said he could see well and then asked..." I have pretty bad vision, how bad can somebodys vision get?" I looked at him kind of dumb struck and said " Well some people are blind." His girlfriend burst out laughing that made me laugh but he wasn't laughing.

----------


## optigrrl

> not a question so much as a statement. 
> on the phone
> 
> you don't need to send me recalls anymore I had cataract surgery with a multifocal lens I don't need to see the eye doctor anymore.


Even the Bionic Man had regular maintenance checks....

----------


## Don Lee

This thread is excellent.  I'm still thinking...

Don

----------


## AngryFish

ok

----------


## chip anderson

Actually I have seen silicon nose pads filled with silicon liquid cushion.

----------


## eyegrrl

Does anyone have any good home frame repair stories???

I had a gentleman come into my office who put his daughter's zyl frame in the microwave to "soften" it up so he could bend it! The worst thing about it was that he expected me to guarantee it!!!! The temples looked like bubble wrap!

 :Rolleyes:

----------


## chip anderson

Supprised much happened, Microwaves don't usually even melt wax unless you have some water in there.  However, I have fried a prosthetic eye or two so it might work on bare plastic.

Chip

----------


## eyegrrl

I remeber it being a cheap managed care frame! The metal in the temples got so hot it bubbled!

----------


## Happylady

> Does anyone have any good home frame repair stories???


Years ago a father brought his daughter's eyeglasses in with the lenses so scratched that the prescription was unreadable in the center. His daughter's uncle was a dentist and used some kind of polisher to polish out some minor scratches on the lenses!

----------


## Uncle Fester

Gentleman comes in and looks at sunglasses. Never been in the office before. Finds what he wants.

"I'm going on vacation in a couple of days and these sunglasses are exactly the ones I broke and have returned for (warranty) replacement. Can I take these on vacation and after I come back when the other glasses come in I'll bring them to you?" 

"Ummm no."

----------


## Frank V. Scallio

I love it when not so brilliant old timers come in and say "These glasses ain't no good any more all the medicine fell to the bottom".  Unfortunately I have heard this way too many times when working for a program in the armpit sections of Baltimore!:)

----------


## SarahMP584

A guy asked me yesterday if we sold PULVERIZED lenses. 

Sure, I can do that for you right now......Wheres that little hammer I keep around?:shiner:

----------


## eyegrrl

> used some kind of polisher to polish out some minor scratches on the lenses!


 
Has anyone had patients that have tried that stuff they sell on tv for scratches?  any bad results?  i can't see how it would work without making the vision blurry!!

----------


## braheem24

> Has anyone had patients that have tried that stuff they sell on tv for scratches? any bad results? i can't see how it would work without making the vision blurry!!


 
Ruined an AR job.

----------


## obxeyeguy

> Has anyone had patients that have tried that stuff they sell on tv for scratches? any bad results? i can't see how it would work without making the vision blurry!!


I keep a lens in the office to show them, after they look at me funny when I tell them you can't polish out scratches. "well, the other guy I went to did!!"  The sample I have, is also ruined like braheem's.  Just use J&J floor polish , same thing.

----------


## braheem24

If you have your own surfacing lab, it's a wonderful educational tool.  I show them the original lenses, show them the block used to hold the lenses for surfacing and explain to them how the lens first of all no longer fits on the block and if I could possibly get it to fit on the block it would still not work because it could not even be 1 degree off axis otherwise the lens would come out abberated.

In the end they end up having a grin on thier face from learning something new and trust me for thier future eyecare needs without listning to thier friends.

----------


## Don Lee

Here's a dumb thing, at least to an optician.

They'll point to their _nose pads_ and ask if the _eye pieces_ can be replaced.

Don

----------


## chip anderson

Don:  Is this better or worse than when they ask if the "legs" can be replaced.

----------


## obxeyeguy

Funny how things work, a guy just left disappointed because I didn't have the rub on Scratch remover.  The guy down the beach gave it to him.  After describing the miracle cleaner, I said was it a glass wick?  Yes thats it , worked great on his lenses for4-5 days and had to be re-done. I have not seen glass wick in 20 something yrs.

----------


## Don Lee

> Don:  Is this better or worse than when they ask if the "legs" can be replaced.


Are you talking about the _bows? _ lol

----------


## Don Lee

> Funny how things work, a guy just left disappointed because I didn't have the rub on Scratch remover.


We used Pledge on hairlines.

----------


## chip anderson

Had one today that was in perfect alignment with lids and eyes, patient was upset because one eyebrow was higher when compared with the other over the frame.   Do I need a higher A measurement on one side?

Chip

----------


## obxeyeguy

> Do I need a higher A measurement on one side?


Probably an engineer.

----------


## k12311997

What do you mean it isn't free?  I have insurance.

----------


## Ory

Not a question but a comment.  Had a lady in last week who told me quite confidently that the surgeon had implanted lasers in her eyes.



Zzzzzzz-ap!

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> Don:  Is this better or worse than when they ask if the "legs" can be replaced.



We've had customers refer to them as "hootennannies" also.

----------


## chip anderson

After numerous attempts at failed adjustments. I converted a patients spectacles to cable temples.   He called back (twice) and wanted to know if I kept the scap metal when I trimmed the temples.  If so he wanted it.
I asked what did he want with it?  He said he just wanted to keep it in a little bag.

Chip?

----------


## CME4SPECS

I just love it when I run a credit card through the machine and the big letters DECLINED come up on the screen. I tell the customer that the card was declined. They say huh? Why? 
One day I had a gal that rides a scooter come in and purchased a pair of Panoptx googles to ride with. We went through 6 cards before she found one that worked! It was so funny...here try this one...maybe this one will work!

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> Does anyone have any good home frame repair stories???
> 
> I had a gentleman come into my office who put his daughter's zyl frame in the microwave to "soften" it up so he could bend it! The worst thing about it was that he expected me to guarantee it!!!! The temples looked like bubble wrap!



I had someone bring in a plastic frame that had broken in the bridge. He had drilled small holes on either side of the bridge, sewed it up with heavy thread, then epoxied it all together. It really worked well. Too well. He had also epoxied his lenses into the frame and now (of course!) wanted them taken out and put into a different frame.:hammer::hammer:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> After numerous attempts at failed adjustments. I converted a patients spectacles to cable temples.   He called back (twice) and wanted to know if I kept the scap metal when I trimmed the temples.  If so he wanted it.
> I asked what did he want with it?  He said he just wanted to keep it in a little bag.
> 
> Chip?


He probably didn't want you to to make big bucks by selling his scrap metal.:drop:

----------


## Don Lee

> I just love it when I run a credit card through the machine and the big letters DECLINED come up on the screen. I tell the customer that the card was declined. They say huh? Why?


A customer came in to pick up his with a credit card.  Dad thought he should call (before online transactions) to see if the card was good.  The guy with the credit card company said the card was stolen and over charged and told Dad he must keep the card and not return it.

Dad looked at the guy.  He was huge and mean looking.  He said, "_You_ come take the card from him".  The customer took the card and paid cash.

----------


## a/r girl

I have been wearing glasses for 20 years (when they are trying to do our job)

----------


## chip anderson

A/R:
I don't guess you can come back and say you have been in this business since 1958 and you are beginning to understand how it works yourself.

Chip:cheers:

----------


## eyegrrl

[ Do I need a higher A measurement on one side?

Chip[/quote]

That is one of those patients ( we all have at least one ) that KNOWS TOO MUCH, or rather thinks they know what you should be doin! When they start analyzing your measurements, and watch everything you write on their order card you know you are in for it!

----------


## lindalou

> *Walks into the office full of inventory. Looks us straight in the eye and asks "do you guys sell glasses?"

----------


## obxeyeguy

> I have been wearing glasses for 20 years (when they are trying to do our job)


I have on one occasion brought ou my pliers and put them in front of the lady, and said"you do it, you must know how because you keep telling me how!"  She shut up.

----------


## chip anderson

What I really love is when I am painting or making, or delivering a prosthetic eye a relative (usually a spouse or sister) starts giving me advise.   I am doing the best I can and comments like doesn't it need one more vein, or a little more blue, etc.  Ain't appreciated.   Have even on occasion told such people that any comment from any relative is more than I want to hear.

ChIp

----------


## Crickett13

This happened when I worked for a company that sold warranties.

A lady comes in with her husband and daughter and was rather upset that her daughters glasses were scratched and how could it happen since they were scratch proof. I explained that while polycarb lenses were scratch resistant that no lenses are scratch proof and that children in paticular have a tendency to scratch their lenses since they are so active. She demanded I tell her how the lenses had gotten scratched. I explained sveral ways it could happen but told her there was no way for me to know. The lady then got very upset telling me how her daughter was always very careful with her glasses and she could not have done anything to cause the scratches and demanded that the lenses be replaced for free even though she had not purchased a waranty. I look down and as she is explaining to me that her daughter always took meticulous care of her glasses she is wiping them off with her shirt. 

I looked at her and said "Well that will scratch the lenses so now I guess we know how it happened." Her husband who had been standing behind her looking embarassed the whole time busted out laughing. If looks could kill he would have been dead on the spot! I can just imagine the conversation they had when they left.

----------


## optigrrl

Ok I know this thread is supposed to be about patients but since we're talking about stupid things in general...

Went into an office and the optician hands me a box of "defects" to return. Among them was a frame that was completely flattened, temples extended. A frame with teeth marks on both temples. A frame missing a temple completely - but easily explained as there was obvious evidence of the piece being ripped or bent off....Warped zyles on the eyewire but lenses no where to be found. Etc, etc....

----------


## eyegrrl

"Went into an office and the optician hands me a box of "defects" to return." 

we are all guilty of that!! we try to get around the frame warranties with our reps all the time!! within reason, i expect my reps to take back any frames that i have warrantied for my patients... i draw the line at teethmarks, tire tread marks, and anything that has obviously been caused by abuse!!

----------


## SarahMP584

I live in the high desert of CA where temps reach 110 in the summer and I have had a rash of car related eyeglass fatalaties latley. People dont seem to get that if you leave ANYTHING in a car that gets in the upwards of 120 degrees inside it is going to get damaged! One guy had had his glasses one week and brought them back in pretty tweaked and the lenses were horribly cracked and warped and I asked him if he left them in his car. Of course the answer was yes. I told him that was why his glasses were ruined.  He still wanted a warranty replacement because "No one ever told me THAT." :Confused:

----------


## eyegrrl

Isnt it amazing that we should "take care of" someone else's stupidity!!!!

----------


## optigrrl

> "Went into an office and the optician hands me a box of "defects" to return." 
> 
> we are all guilty of that!! we try to get around the frame warranties with our reps all the time!! within reason, i expect my reps to take back any frames that i have warrantied for my patients... i draw the line at teethmarks, tire tread marks, and anything that has obviously been caused by abuse!!


 
I totally agree, and there wasn't anything that could have been passed off in this box! Seriously! It was so bad I just waited until I got into my car and had a good laugh. I just wonder what those poor opticians must have had to deal with on the patient's side of things...

----------


## Don Lee

> [Walks into the office full of inventory. Looks us straight in the eye and asks "do you guys sell glasses?


A lady came into our shop and walked over to a lone display of a few frames and asked, "is this all you have?" (while I was standing in front of about 500 frames) 

I wonder what people are really trying to say when they say things like that. Do you sell glasses?  
Is this all you have?  
Do you ever make adjustments?  
Are you open?

----------


## Don Lee

> I live in the high desert of CA where temps reach 110 in the summer and I have had a rash of car related eyeglass fatalaties latley... ANYTHING in a car that gets in the upwards of 120 degrees inside it is going to get damaged!


One slow day in  August (Oklahoma City) it was about 95 degrees.  We decided to put a candy thermometer in the seat of an employee's car.  It read 157 degrees!  We didn't try the dash board.

The way that heat reflects in the CA desert the temp in a car may be closer to 180!!!!!!

That's hot

----------


## eyepod

> Not a question but a comment. Had a lady in last week who told me quite confidently that the surgeon had implanted lasers in her eyes.
> 
> 
> 
> Zzzzzzz-ap!


WOW!! Watch out!  She can probably see through your clothes now.  Wear your lead underwear when she's coming into the office!

----------


## For-Life

Had a guy who bought his glasses at Wal-Mart and snapped a temple three years later.  He first thought that it was only worth $5.  He then asked if most optical places offer life-time warranties.

----------


## lindalou

We only charge a dollar for our screws.  People complain anyway.  They say "If I would have went to ---, they would have done it for free."  ah, yes, but the reason you are here, is because you don't want to drive the 20 miles, to have a screw put in for free.

I also had a patient that said his post op cataract surg.  was so good, he had x-ray vision now.  He would just look at you and grin. (kind of a dirty old man grin.)

----------


## eyepod

I also had a patient that said his post op cataract surg. was so good, he had x-ray vision now. He would just look at you and grin. (kind of a dirty old man grin.)[/quote]


EEEWWWWWW........ :Eek:

----------


## chip anderson

Have had more than one eye doctor say: "Don't you trust me?"

----------


## braheem24

My glasses move when I do this :hammer:

Do you have my subscription?

Does that Include lenses?

Does that include the second pair?

Why do all your glasses look the same?

...and my personal favorite

Can I make payments?

----------


## obxeyeguy

> Can I make payments?


Of course you can, ONE!!!!!
Ha!!!

----------


## braheem24

My answer is usually 

"to your credit card company" :p

----------


## edKENdance

This is more along the lines of "weird things that people do" but we have this one lady that keeps coming in with a very week RX.  .50's and only wants glasses for distance.  She keeps telling us that the glasses we make for her keep making her nauseous.  This isn't a remake situation.  She keeps buying RX and non RX glasses.  This is gonna be pair 5.

----------


## For-Life

More stupid people that stupid questions

I had one guys come off the streets (we used to be in a poorer section of Town).  He asked what the cheapest pair he could get for his RX.  I told him.  He said "Good, make them and I will pay you when I pick them up."  I said that we required a deposit.  He told me that then he will buy somewhere else, I said fine.  I am sure there is still an optician out there wondering if he should write that sale off.

Another lady came in and said she was here to pick up her glasses and gave this long confusing story about her insurance company.  When I finally got her name, I recognized who she was.  We used to have an optician who was paid commission, so he would sell the glasses and not ask for a deposit.  It was her, who owed us $600 for two years!!!  So I was happy to finally get payment, until she whipped out her cheque book.  I said we do not take cheques.  She got mad, and said she did not want to go to the bank.  I said we take debit, Visa, Mastercard, and American Express.  She stormed out and said she does not deal with them.  A month later her husband came in with cash.

----------


## renee1111

Our store used to be located upstairs from a childs clothing store (downtown). We moved about year ago across the street to a wheelchair accessible, main floor location. Well this morning a long time customer came in, totally out of breath and ****** right off! He says "if I would have known you where located here I would never have come." I asked, "what do you mean? There are no longer any stairs to have to walk up." He replies "there's no free parking, and I'm gonna get a ticket!" I then explained that there were 2 parking garages less than a block away(2 hrs free parking.) He shouts "well that's like a mile away!!" And then starts in on a story about the one time he went into a neighboring store to by socks, and parked in a loading zone. When he came out of the store he noticed he had a $35 ticket on his windsheild. He quickly raced home and called the store (he had just visited) to tell them that they should have to pay the ticket, because of the lack of parking or that he would never by anything from them again! He was all red in the face, but I couldn't help but let out a giggle.

----------


## AngryFish

I like the customers who come in upset that their contact lens went behind their eye and into their brain.

----------


## lindalou

> I like the customers who come in upset that their contact lens went behind their eye and into their brain.


What brain??:D

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> What about this: The medicine ran out of my glasses. I think that one is an ethnic maybe even geographical one, but I get it from time to time-- down here in the South :)
> 
> 
> Paula


LOL! That's hysterical :hammer:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> How about "I need a screw"?
> 
> Also, I had a man tell me that when he put on his glasses one temple went infront of his side burns and the other went in back.
> 
> Also an older woman of an interesting look, came in and told me she wanted to look younger, prettier and sexier. She wanted RED round frames. What do you do?


LOL The Ugly Betty look is not exactly sexy  :Nerd:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> More stupid people that stupid questions
> 
> I had one guys come off the streets (we used to be in a poorer section of Town). He asked what the cheapest pair he could get for his RX. I told him. He said "Good, make them and I will pay you when I pick them up." I said that we required a deposit. He told me that then he will buy somewhere else, I said fine. I am sure there is still an optician out there wondering if he should write that sale off.
> 
> Another lady came in and said she was here to pick up her glasses and gave this long confusing story about her insurance company. When I finally got her name, I recognized who she was. We used to have an optician who was paid commission, so he would sell the glasses and not ask for a deposit. It was her, who owed us $600 for two years!!! So I was happy to finally get payment, until she whipped out her cheque book. I said we do not take cheques. She got mad, and said she did not want to go to the bank. I said we take debit, Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. She stormed out and said she does not deal with them. A month later her husband came in with cash.


HMMMMMMM Sounds like she was begging to write a bounced check, don't you just love slicksters like that? :finger:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> I like the customers who come in upset that their contact lens went behind their eye and into their brain.


ROFLMAO!!!! :drop:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

I especially adore the customers who ask if the stickers advertising either the designer (e.g., "Salvatore Ferragamo") or the superior material the frame has been engineered from (e.g., "Stainless steel", "titanium alloy", etc.) will be placed on their actual grinded prescription lenses. :hammer:

----------


## specs4you

> I have on one occasion brought ou my pliers and put them in front of the lady, and said"you do it, you must know how because you keep telling me how!" She shut up.


 
Oh please this is the absolute best one ever.  If only I could do that just once and not get fired.   Oh man.   I am gonna do all this and more on my last week in the business.  I have the most evil nasty mean...etc... customers in the world .   From all over the world.  Please let me do it.....oh the satisfaction you must have had......

Sorry has been a horrid week at work....patients are all so mean this week.

----------


## specs4you

> Years ago I told a pt. to look at my nose, only instead of actually saying it I pointed to my nose and said look here. She crossed her eyes trying to look at her nose. I had to excuse myself with a coughing laugh fit.


 
Is this a California thing?  I am still laughing as I literally get this one all the time. Or even as funny.  I point to the center of my bridge and say look at my finger and they put their finger up there on themselves and look crosseyed......I can't keep still.  It doesn't take much to make me crack up, usually just some of the sorry but "ugliest people in the universe" who place their noses actually touching the mirror and say
" does this frame make me look better"?    I would love to grab the mirror most every dispense and throw it on the floor.

Anyone out there ever turn the mirror sideways as your handing over the glasses to try and discourage the pt from turning profile on you for the adjustment?

That really bugs the heck out of me....... :Mad: :angry:

----------


## ShuString

> Our job is to generate income for our Doctors. 
> "Get the money, keep the money."
> If you don't like your job, or the people with whom you work, GET ANOTHER JOB!
> Bankrupting, slandering, or in any way, undermining the respect, reputation and/or competance of your employer is petty, juvenile, and just plain STUPID.
> Your clients/patients may not remember exactly what you said, or what you did, but they will remember how YOU made them FEEL. (re: Maya Angelou)
> Every day I save my OD money is another day I have a job. We may argue, we may debate, but it is HIS BUSINESS, not mine, and he SIGNS MY CHECKS.


Trust me, It's already costing the Doctor money with a remake  and the respect of his staff because he lacks a little class.
*Ohh even if he signs your pay check.*

----------


## optocarol

The other week had a patient who is Scottish ask me if he'd have to pay if he came and saw me again. I saw him just on a year ago, he's early 70s, early cataract. I said, "Yes." He thought there might be a guarantee on the Rx. 

I also said I'd probably reduce the fee as I'd probably only recheck his Rx i.e. not do a full exam, which was what I did. So, found he needed approx 1D less plus, said the lens price would be the same as last time and when I said the total, he said, "That's not much difference from last time." !!!!

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> I like the customers who come in upset that their contact lens went behind their eye and into their brain.



How about the guy I read about last week that had put several sets of contacts in his eyes without removing the old ones?

----------


## Alteaon

This isn't really something I've been asked, but...

The patient who calls to say his contact lens is stuck to his eye, and no amount of drops,ect will release it...

The lens in question: his cornea.

----------


## chip anderson

Altheon:  This is one of the reason I almost never give suction cups to patients for removal.  I used to fit all the VA patients around here with aphakic contacts.  As a group there was a lot of alcoholism involved.  Some of them didn't absorb thier instructions on insertion and removal too well as we kept them three hours on delivery, many would step out and nip a little before the instruction part came up.
Many of these patients would get thier hand on a suction cup.  They would attempt to remove a lens that was not in the eye or not on the cornea repeatedly, many ended up in the emergency room with an over-sucked cornea.  
Always (if possible) teach patients to remove, insert and relocate lenses with thier hands alone (which hopefully they will always have with them).

Chip:hammer:

----------


## obxeyeguy

converstion I just had with the father of a child I had fit with eyeglasses, (caid) " Hi, this is mark.................and I have the glasses ready for nick"  Reply"do you want us to come pic dem up?"  No, let me deliver them dipbrain.

----------


## optical24/7

OBX, you should have replied. " No, you don't need to pick them up. I just wanted to give you a call before I give them to the Lions club."

:D:D

----------


## obxeyeguy

> OBX, you should have replied. " No, you don't need to pick them up. I just wanted to give you a call before I give them to the Lions club."


great answer, and I am writing these down.

----------


## brucek

can you donate my glasses to the blind

----------


## harry a saake

called a lady on the phone today and told her the glasses were ready, her reply, at your office:hammer:

----------


## Alan911

I was working up a pt and he proceeded to tell me that his eyes were doing fine but he noticed that everytime he kissed a pretty girl, his eyes would burn.  I had no idea what to say. He then asked " do you think its because of the mace.?"

----------


## SarahMP584

> called a lady on the phone today and told her the glasses were ready, her reply, at your office:hammer:


I say "we are just letting you know your glasses are ready."

I cant tell you HOW many people say "Oh! Can I come get them?"

No....I just wanted to tell you they are here. But you cant have them.  :Rolleyes:

----------


## Optowoman

I shouldn't say this I'm sure, but the mace comment is pretty funny.

----------


## chip anderson

Yesterday I got what appeared to be card from Physician's Mutual.  Congratulating me on my upcoming 65th Birthday and informing me that thye had been so kind as to prepare a free "*Free Final Wishes Planner"*.   Ain't that nice of them?   This wonderful brochure shown one where they can record: Personal information, insureance policies, savings and retirement account numbers, people to contact and funeral wishers.

Just what I wanted to hear.

Chip

----------


## lindalou

When checking the PD on someone, especially a child.  I say "Look at the open eye(while closing the other one) now, without moving your head,look at this open eye." (pointing at the other eye)

I don't know how many will "wink" at me.  If there are kids, I usually tell them, that if they wink at me again, that makes me their girlfriend.  Amazing, they stop and are so wide eyed (and red)  mom is usually laughing.

----------


## MarcE

Here's one you don't get too often:

"Did you kill that guy?"  Refering to the bloody corpse next door on the sidewalk.  
It still is a decent neighborhood - never (yet) had a frame lifted.

----------


## scograd

I had a patient tell me that I should read "The Secret".  He also claimed that the tools he learned in there would keep him from needing reading glasses.  Hope they come out with the book in large print then for him!!!

----------


## k12311997

> Here's one you don't get too often:
> 
> "Did you kill that guy?" Refering to the bloody corpse next door on the sidewalk. 
> It still is a decent neighborhood - never (yet) had a frame lifted.


Yes, he wanted a rufund.

----------


## mrmac

This was how the phone call went;

 Him   Can you tell me the price of a BASIC pair of lense?

 me    Do you mean single vision?

 him    No... progresive in polycarb

 me    You want a polycarb progressive?

 him    Yes.. in transition with a/r

 me     So you want a BASIC poly progressive .. transition with anti relective coating?

 him    Yes... Does that cost extra?

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> While we're at it here we might want to start a new thread entitled "The rudest client ever..." but this one does kind of fit in with the stupidest questions theme of the current thread.
> 
> A gruff, impersonable gent who had purchased from us in the past, enters the dispensary one day, and before even saying hello to me or myself having the opportunity to greet him, he tosses a business card from one of our local 'deep-discount', 'ever-advertising-a-sale' retailers on the dispensing table and asks, matter-of-factly and with a smug look on his mug, "Bet you can't match *THIS* price." We're just TOO expensive, it seems,so this time he went and shopped around. Does like our service and expertise, though. My heart sinks, I'm thinking "well here we go again, lets see if they're even in the ballpark." I quickly review the price itemization, confirm on a piece of paper with the calculator and price list what our price is and answer, 
> " Yes, sir, I most certainly would be *happy* to match the price you have here!" He looks rather astonished that I would so very quickly offer to match a price that he obviously felt was a bargain, and we set about writing up the order. During this time, he's going on and on about how terrible it is for glasses to cost as much as they do, what a terrible mark-up there is, and how unfair it is to consumers that they have to do what he did and ask around if other opticals would price match (after all, it costs money and time, did I know this, for consumers to be forced to shop around.) And how unfair it is to the poor schmuck who doesn't know that glasses can be bargained on, and stupidly pays the full regular price. During this non-stop tangent of his, I'm not saying a word other than requesting information for the job. I'm also not responding to the questions he's asking me about mark-up, etc. He rises, ready to leave, and walks towards the door. At this point, I simply cannot contain myself any longer, and blurt out what I wanted to ever since I first saw the price written by the competition on the card, " Sir, I'm more than happy to match the price you got from XYZ. But, I really feel guilty about it because, well, *their sale price is actually $75.00 MORE than our regular price is!"*
> 
> Now you all know what comes next, right?
> 
> "Well, can you *not* match the price and charge me what you would have normally?"


I would have kept the difference and bought pizza for the office.

----------


## renee1111

> This was how the phone call went;
> 
> Him Can you tell me the price of a BASIC pair of lense?
> 
> me Do you mean single vision?
> 
> him No... progresive in polycarb
> 
> me You want a polycarb progressive?
> ...


BAH HA HA!!!!! That's hilarious! Love it! 


Keep 'em comming people

----------


## allanon

"What's a U-Turn?"

----------


## For-Life

Me: Would you like AR?   Customer: Yes!
Me: Would you like Transitions?  Customer: Yes!
Me: Would you like a thinner lens?  Customer: Yes?
Customer: I want that Tommy Hilfiger frame too.
Me: Okay, the total price is XXXX
Customer: Doesn't welfare pay the full price?

----------


## obxeyeguy

> Customer: Doesn't welfare pay the full price?


You: Oh, you have insurance.  Let me figure up your part.  Well, your part comes to $xxxx
customer: well, thats a lot, How much did welfare pay?
You: NOTHING, they give you glasses, this is eyewear!

----------


## renee1111

Me: So you need a lined bifocal.

Customer: The frames are so small, are you sure you can fit a bifocal in there?

Me: Actually, most of the styles are the semi-rimeless or "half frames" which we can customize and make to your specifications. So I wouldn't even worry about it.

I pick out a semi rim for her, (looks great by the way) 

Customer: the frame is so small, your sure we can fit a bifocal, right?

Me: Yes, I'm sure, I can make the lens deeper to accomodate it, not a problem. 

I pick out another semi rim

Customer: Oh, this frame is too small I think, you'll never be able to fit a bifocal in there.

Me: Like i said, I can customize it for you, don't worry about it..

This went on and on for every frame I picked, by the 9th frame, I finally just said "It's very complicated, but don't worry, I will make sure you can see clearly out of your new lenses!"

----------


## k12311997

non optical, but the stupid question I have ever been witness to.

"do you Jen take this man to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do you part?"

----------


## SarahMP584

" I guess I will take this frame since it is the ONLY small one/big one you have." 
"You dont have ANYTHING BIG enough for a TRIFOCAL. I guess I will have to go to ____" 
Fine with me, you can be their problem....

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> Me: Would you like AR? Customer: Yes!
> Me: Would you like Transitions? Customer: Yes!
> Me: Would you like a thinner lens? Customer: Yes?
> Customer: I want that Tommy Hilfiger frame too.
> Me: Okay, the total price is XXXX
> Customer: Doesn't welfare pay the full price?


ROFLMAO........:angry: That gets me everytime. Then, you attempt to explain to the Ohio Medicaid's that the state of Ohio has already pre-selected PRECISELY which frames that their insurance will cover entirely. You have to explain to them that their insurance will only cover the lenses if they select any of the eyeglass frames that their insurance carrier OFFERS to them for absolutely FREE. Despite numerous explanations on part of the optician, customers with this insurance will STILL experience anguish and puzzlement over issues of not only price (free isn't "good enough") and issues of "cosmetic appeal". They will still choose to argue with you, asking if they choose an expensive frame, will Medicaid pay for the lenses in its entirety, and will Medicaid take care of at least half of the price of the frame alone? (The answer: NO!)
Customer: "Wait, so you mean my {cough, cruddy} insurance won't pay anything towards two-hundred dollar plus Burberry frame? Not even for lenses?":hammer::hammer::hammer:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> This was how the phone call went;
> 
> Him Can you tell me the price of a BASIC pair of lense?
> 
> me Do you mean single vision?
> 
> him No... progresive in polycarb
> 
> me You want a polycarb progressive?
> ...


LOL next they will be asking about a "basic" pair of Varilux Ellipse 360 lenses with extremely thin and light-weight "basic" lenses in a 1.74 index and top-notch "basic" Crizal Alize in a "basic" pair of half-rimless, hypo-allergenic, titanium-embedded, 100&#37; nickel-free London Fog eyeglasses. Oh, did we mention that the top metal part of the eyeglasses have a prism-changing "basic" color that will transform into several inspiring "basic" luminescent shades of aquamarine once exposed to the ultra-violet rays of the sun?
Yes, *OH SO BAAASIC.* lol 
 :Eek:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> Me: So you need a lined bifocal.
> 
> Customer: The frames are so small, are you sure you can fit a bifocal in there?
> 
> Me: Actually, most of the styles are the semi-rimeless or "half frames" which we can customize and make to your specifications. So I wouldn't even worry about it.
> 
> I pick out a semi rim for her, (looks great by the way) 
> 
> Customer: the frame is so small, your sure we can fit a bifocal, right?
> ...


ROFLMAO.
Just imagine if you attempted to explain the Shamir Piccolo Progressive to customers. 
You: {launching into your speech} "Well, you see, with the advances of technology, we now have designed a particular type of progressive lens known as the *Shamir Piccolo*. The Piccolo, as we opticians refer to it as, is an advanced progressive lens that has been specifically designed for the more contemporary, smaller frames that have come into fashion as of late. I would recommend the Piccolo for any of the _smaller frames_, such as an Aspen, a London Fog Frame, or some of the smaller Humphrey/Eschenbach frames we have browsed today."
Customer: {obviously baffled beyond mortal comprehension} "*Excuse me*, but what does a *MUSICAL INSTRUMENT* such as a SMALL FLUTE have *anything* on God's Green Earth to do with a _PROGRESSIVE_ lens??!?!??" 
You: :drop:{Thinking: WTF. . .Is it possible for people to be this *DUMB*?}

LOL @ misunderstandings!  :Eek:

----------


## AngryFish

I worked with a doctor who responded to a patient saying “ok I will see you next time” by saying  “Well if you wait as long as you did the last time I’ll be dead”

----------


## Cindy K

> non optical, but the stupid question I have ever been witness to.
> 
> "do you Jen take this man to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do you part?"


ROLFMHO!!!!! That is THE universal stupid question. I was tempted to give a good pause, look Rudy up and down, and say, 'I guess....'.

----------


## chip anderson

"What made you choose this for a career?"

"I needed a job and this one was open."

----------


## k12311997

> ROLFMHO!!!!! That is THE universal stupid question. I was tempted to give a good pause, look Rudy up and down, and say, 'I guess....'.


 
Actually Cindy I wrote that in a moment of depression.  The thing that makes that ironic to me is that Jen,my now ex wife, making the promise to work through thick and thin and not just bale when there is hard times.  .

----------


## SarahMP584

> "What made you choose this for a career?"
> 
> "I needed a job and this one was open."


I love this one....
They also ask, very suspiciously, "how long did you have to go to school to do this??"

----------


## wolfman

We are running a special this month. Buy one pair of glasses and get the other one 1/2 off. It states clearly both frame and lens. What Question did I get? "Do I have to buy the lenses too? Or can I just by the frames, And still get the discount?"

----------


## foureyes

a woman called to tell us she was having problems with her vision.

woman: i am having a problem with my vision
us: well, can you describe the problem?
woman: yeah, when i take my glasses off i can't see anything.
us: *awkward silence*....but when you put them on?
woman: well, it's fine when they're on but as soon as i take them off i can't see anything!

wow.

----------


## renee1111

> woman: i am having a problem with my vision
> us: well, can you describe the problem?
> woman: yeah, when i take my glasses off i can't see anything.
> us: *awkward silence*....but when you put them on?
> woman: well, it's fine when they're on but as soon as i take them off i can't see anything!
> 
> wow.


That's a good one!  It's amazing how dozy some people can be!

----------


## scograd

Indirectly asked by a 7 year old while her mother was being examined by me...  "did she go to mental school?"

Mother:  "No honey, it's not mental school, it's medical school."

Sometimes I feel like it might well have been mental school!!!

----------


## chip anderson

"How long does de' medcine last in these (over the counter readers).
Second question I'm getting to where I need them (she's 47), will it need stronger ones later? "
_"It may increase as you get older."_
"When does it stop changing?"
_"Usually late 50's to age 60."_
" Well then I thing I'll wait 'til it stops changing.."


Chip:shiner:

----------


## mrmac

A woman asked me to adjust her glasses
  She said..." My glasses are always crooked... I have one ear lower than the other .. thats because I only wear one ear ring.

  You just cann't make this stuff up

----------


## AdmiralKnight

We used to have this guy come in about once a month. At the time I was working at a chain, and he defiantly did NOT get his glasses from us. The frames were probably 20 years old, old solid metal frame, felt like steel. He had about a +20 in both eyes, glass,  as well as a scope in the right lens. It was pretty darned cool to see, especially since the company I worked for barely carried 3 different types of progressive, and I had only been licensed for about 2 years at that point.

Anyhoo, he'd come in once a month to get them adjusted. The nose pad arms would come un-screwed, not the pads themselves, but they were actually screwed into the front of the frame. So he'd come in to get them tightened, etc etc. I didn't mind helping the guy out, but he was a bit of a jerk, and quite the pig, so none of my girls liked dealing with him, "I'll get the manager." Thanks. lol

One day he comes in, his helper dog leading the way, and hands me a second, identical pair of glasses, and gives me a big story. the scope in the second pair was broken, but the carrier lens was perfect and the scope was still glued tightly into the lens. However on the pair he was wearing, the scope was fine, but the lens was cracked, and the scope would come right out.

At this point in the story I was starting to get a bit worried

"So, basically, what I'd like you to do is take the broken scope out of the good lens, and put the good scope into the good lens."

Oh boy.

I tell him I REALLY do not feel comfortable doing that, but he insists, saying that he can't wear the one with the broken scope anyway, so it was no big deal. Alright, here I go. I must have spent a good 15 minutes trying to get the scope out. Of course, I don't have any of the necessary materials to break down the glue and get the scope out, so I was really just trying to somehow break the glue enough to squeeze the scope out. I go back and explain I can't do it... but he insists I keep trying, and I feel bad for the man, so i give it another go... and another 10 minutes. Eventually i come back and say 

"Look, the only way I'm going to get this out is to force it. And if I force it, the carrier lens is going to break. No ifs ands or buts. It WILL break."

Try anyway.

Okie dokie. I donned my safety glasses and grab my lens pliers (the only tool I had that would hold onto the front side of the lens while pushing on the back of the scope) and I squeezed... and sure enough, the lens exploded in my hands. The best part of the whole situation was that lab had a window right above the working area so you could see into the dispensary... and he was standing about 10 feet from the window, so not only did he hear the horrendous sound, but he saw it explode as well. 

I went back out, apologized, and pretty much said I told you so, and he left. We never saw him again. The girls were quite happy about that lol

(wow, I didn't mean to write so much :hammer:)

----------


## Happylady

> (wow, I didn't mean to write so much :hammer:)


That's okay, it was a very good story!

----------


## chip anderson

Had an attractive spoiled rich young woman in the other day wearing a Channel sunglass.  She wanted it adjusted.  The adjustment was near perfect but I fooled with it a little and told her it looked just fine.  She put it on, looked in the mirror, then promptly put it on the top of her head.  She shook her head and gave them back to me.
Said: "These don't fit on top of my head.  My girlfriend's fit on her face and on top of her head.  I want them to fit on top of my head when I wear them there."

I tried to explain that if they fit her face they wouldn't fit on top of her head (didn't say anything about her being a pinheaded idiot).  She left very unhappy and I am sure in search of an optician that could make them fit both places.

Chip

----------


## Radio Star

I've had this same experience, Chris.  A girl comes in, practically throws her Chanel sunglasses on the dispensing counter and declares "these are crooked."  I put them on her, check the fit, put on my best "aw, shucks" face and tell her that they fit just fine.  She look at me like I'm nuts, rams them on top of her head and says "no, see, they're crooked.  Can't you fix that?"

I took at least a good thirty seconds for me to be able to give her a civil response.

----------


## fjpod

This one was a statement by a patient, not a question, but I thought it fit here.  Now I've heard it all.  

I examined a 20/70 myopic 28 year old male the other day who wanted a routine checkup, but admitted he never wore his glasses.  So I asked him if he thought he needed to wear his glasses for driving, especially at night.  He said no, "  I don't need to see perfectly, I just look at my GPS to see where I am going."  :hammer: 

Not only can't he see, he's not even looking at the road.

----------


## Ginster

> How about the one someone phones in can you fix my glasses


 
They cal in and say, My glasses broke, can you fix them?:hammer:
Sure hand them through the phone:drop:

----------


## tmorse

E-mail: 

I'm very interested in your course. 

Can you guarantee that I will pass?

(sigh):hammer:

----------


## pechsp

We get a call once a week at least here at the lab with someone asking us if they can get a clear polarized lens.  :hammer:

----------


## finefocus

> We get a call once a week at least here at the lab with someone asking us if they can get a clear polarized lens. :hammer:


 In the old days, you almost could. AO made "Neutral Polaroid". Laminated glass, very light in color, kind of a tan #1.

----------


## pechsp

the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization

----------


## obxeyeguy

> the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization


Take a plano lens, sell it to them for a the cost of a prog poly lens :Cool: , and see how many you get back.  They won't really know, as obviously they have no optical backround.

----------


## finefocus

> the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization


 Looks like a business opportunity - who among us can we get to manufacture these? We'll package them with the magic pinhole specs that cure nearsightedness, astigmatism, and the yaws. And if you act now, a vacuum pump!

----------


## chip anderson

Why did that screw loosen?  Why did that screw come out?
How come that six year old piece fishing line mount broke?

----------


## melthemadhatter

1) "Do you know what you're doing?" I have no idea what I have been doing for the past nine years!

2) "Can you put medicine in my glasses?" 'Nuff said!

3) "Can I buy glasses that make me look like Sarah Palin?" (Ahem... Perhaps plastic surgery is an option?)

----------


## melthemadhatter

> the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization


There was an old episode of CSI that aired several years ago which had clear glass polarized lenses. I was furious and haven't watched the show since!

----------


## sharpstick777

> _Patient puts specs on dispensing table and points out that one temple is a little higher than the other....._"My glasses are crooked. Can you fix that?"


I always start mentioning where to cut and raise the ear and usually they are happier after that.

Sharpstick

----------


## jjm_1965

Years ago, a customer came up to me and said "I need glasses."  I asked for his prescription.  He said "I need a prescription for glasses?"  I said "Yes.  Have you had an eye exam?"  He said, "No.  I don't need one.  I know I need glasses."  Before you ask, he was not referring to readers.  

My brain hurt that day.

----------


## chip anderson

Had one yesterday with the Rx +0.50 2.50 add.  Patient says he's not sure he will fill the Rx because "that prescription may hurt my farsightedness at distance."   No matter how much I assured him that his doctor was honest, and very competnet (this one is) patient is still debating with himself about this.   Patient is convinced that he needs Plano with a +3.00 add.  I told him at lenght that +3.00 adds in a progressive (which he insists on) don't tend to make the patient happy.

Another good related question:  "Why does the patient believe that stronger is always better?"   If this were true we would always put the strongest lens we can grind on every patient and dispense with the exam.

Chip

----------


## GAgal

"My nosepad fell off so I superglued it to my frame and got glue all over my lenses, can you get the glue off?" Super glue should be a controlled substance"I don't know what my vision insurance is, can you tell me what it covers?" Sure, let me pull out my magic 8 ball. Does it covers progressives? Highly unlikely"Why do I have to have an eye exam to wear contacts?" Because your placing something directly onto your eye, maybeWhen they ask my 20 year old apprentice if he's the doctor (because he's the only man in the place) and they ignore the rest of us"Do you work here?" No lady, I'm just wearing the name tag and answering the phone for funPatient walks in and says, "Are these the glasses you sell?"

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Just give these people their signs!:bbg::D:cheers:

----------


## fjpod

I'm so glad I revived this thread.  It had been dormant for over two years.

----------


## GAgal

> I'm so glad I revived this thread. It had been dormant for over two years.


 
So Am I! It's been great to vent and know that I'm not the only crazy magnet around! If there is a loon within a 30 mi radius, they are instantly attracted to me!

----------


## optigrrl

> We get a call once a week at least here at the lab with someone asking us if they can get a clear polarized lens. :hammer:


Funny I actually had a guy argue with me that one existed.

----------


## jjm_1965

> "My nosepad fell off so I superglued it to my frame and got glue all over my lenses, can you get the glue off?" Super glue should be a controlled substance.


I once had a customer back in the late 1980s that brought in a pair of glasses (Welsh-4-drops!!!) with globs of glue around the periphery, but the majority of the centers were fine; she could at least see through them.  She asked if I could remove the glue.  Even though they were cr-39, it was a lost cause.  I said "I cannot remove the glue without damaging the lenses or the frame."  (it was zyl).  She seemed to understand.  The next day, I came to work in the afternoon, and she was there looking very embarrassed.  She tried to remove the glue with Comet!  To top it off, this was her only pair of glasses.  You cannot make this stuff up.

----------


## billmdee

We had a patient come in and asked if we had any Transient lenses.

We told her no, all of our lenses have nice homes.

----------


## chip anderson

Until we had our great debate on the subject many years ago, I thought the better microscopes had clear polarized filters.

Chip

----------


## renee1111

> 3) "Can I buy glasses that make me look like Sarah Palin?" (Ahem... Perhaps plastic surgery is an option?)


No, but if you bang your head against a brick wall for about 1 or 2 hours you can think like her.

----------


## GAgal

> We had a patient come in and asked if we had any Transient lenses.
> 
> We told her no, all of our lenses have nice homes.


 
Ha Ha!  That is so funny!:hammer::shiner::D

----------


## bob_f_aboc

From a co-worker (ABOC) with 20+ years, "I didn't know the frame measurments affected the lens thickness." :shiner:  :hammer::shiner:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> Until we had our great debate on the subject many years ago, I thought the better microscopes had clear polarized filters.
> 
> Chip


And the photography polarized filters, as far as I can tell, have an absorption equal to around two stops, so, you can make them lightly tinted,but not clear or no polarization can take effect. I have some old KBCo Neutral Gray polarized lenses that are really light - I'll have to measure them.

----------


## wolfman

> the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization





> Funny I actually had a guy argue with me that one existed.


Dang, you weren't supposed to tell people about that argument. :bbg:

----------


## opty4062

Patient called to see if his glasses were ready. 

Me: Mr Smith, you must have ESP! They came in this morning!
Mr Smith: ESP?!? ESP?!? The doc said they were reading glasses!!

----------


## mlm

Not a question, but...

Had a 45-year old woman come in last week to pick up her new diagnostic contact lenses.  Brought her into the contact lens room and invited her to wash her hands while I opened the blisters.  She ignored me.  I said it again, "Please wash you hands while I get your contact lenses ready."  She looks at me and says "Oh, my hands are clean already."  So I say, "Actually no, I want you to wash your hands before you touch your contact lenses."  She looked at me like I was from another planet, and proceeded to rinse her hands quickly while telling me that this isn't what happens in the "real world".

Lady, I don't want to live in your world  :Confused:

----------


## chip anderson

MLM:
On a related side bar.  You'd be amazed at the number of apearently sophisticate, well educated rich women I see that when told to wash thier hands mearly rinse with water.
When     questioned they say that's all I ever do.
When questioned further I find that they are no longer taught it in school what soap does.  Just for the record the purpose of soap is *to mix oil with  water*.  Most think it's some sort of disinfectant, or cleanser or skin treatment.   _Soaps_ with oils are actually kind of an antithesis for soap.

Chip

----------


## countryeyes

One day we had some smell good candles lit in the office, and a pt came up to me and looked at the candle than looked at me and then back to the candle and asked, "What do you light your candles with?"  After a brief pause I replied, "With fire."  Pt nodded her head in agreement and then sat back down in our waiting area.

----------


## William Walker

When Sarah Palin hit the big time, we had a lot of patients asking if we had Sarah Palin's glasses.  
I got curious, knowing we have a Costco in her hometown in Alaska.  I can't say much without crossing that privacy line, but you can infer from my emphasis...
"It's not that _Costco_ has _Sarah Palin's_ glasses; quite the opposite..."

----------


## DestinieNicole

My favorite stupid question came from a patient that was told by the Dr. that she saw 20/20 in her distance but needed reading glasses, and knowing that she used a computer occasionally for work suggested progressives so that she would not have to take her glasses on and off.  She ordered progressives everything was explained, with an emphasis on the fact that she had no distance Rx.  She came back a week after she picked them up and said "these glasses don't work at all for driving, why is that I can see just as good in my distance without them." LOL it's so hard to not sound condescending when you answer that.

----------


## shelleygirl

A patient orders glasses, she has an awesome insurance plan that pays us $400.  She didn't have the money on her to pay her portion but since we usually just let them pay half down and the insurance payment would more than cover it we made them.  I called her when they were ready and she sent her son to pick them up.  There was a $200 balance and he had no idea, he called his mom.  She wanted to talk to me and said no one told her she had to pay the whole balance before she picked them up and that we should of explained that to her.  I told her to tell me any other place you can go and get a product and leave with it and not pay for it.  She had no response and just kept saying we should have a sign up saying that.

The other thing that gets me is when we call 20 patients to tell them their glasses are ready and leave messages for most, they will call us back and say "someone from there just called me"  like we magically know who they are and they sound frustrated when we ask their name.  I want to say "LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE LAZY *** INSTEAD OF CALLING US"

----------


## William Walker

> The other thing that gets me is when we call 20 patients to tell them their glasses are ready and leave messages for most, they will call us back and say "someone from there just called me" like we magically know who they are and they sound frustrated when we ask their name. I want to say "LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE LAZY *** INSTEAD OF CALLING US"


I actually enjoy having a little fun with those patients.  I make sure not to be perceived as condescending, but I'll ask, "Well, when we call you, we leave a message.  What did your message say?"  

We quote a week and a half to two weeks (to be on the safe side), so when someone comes by, or calls, as I'm looking up their info, I'm asking them, "Did anyone call to let you know they are ready?  No, okay.  How long ago did you order them?"  When they say a few days, or a week ago: "Well, our glasses take a week and a half to two, so they're not expected in just yet, but I don't mind looking it up for you."  Usually after that, they wait for our call.

----------


## shelleygirl

Yeah I will usually pick up the call since I always call all line 6 on our phone so when they say there is call on that line I KNOW what they are wanting.  I say "we left a message, didn't you get it???" To that they say, no I don't listen to messages.  So instead of pushing a button and listening to their message, they pick up the phone, dial our number, interupt our front desk who are always slam, and make someone hunt down their job.  What do they say to you when you ask what their message said?  What is your response to it?  I'm sure it will make me giggle.

----------


## shelleygirl

When they pick up their glasses and swear it isn't the pair they ordered, yeah like we switch the frames just to mess with their minds!!!!  And the frame they swear is the one they chose is always a much more expensive name brand frame!!!! 

Or the ones who come in with their lenses scratched to hell and we ask how do you clean them and like they rehearsed they all say "I ONLY USE THE CLEANER AND CLEANING CLOTH YOU GAVE ME!!!!  Or the scratches are exactly where lens meets a surface when placed face down and when I place them face down to see if the scratches are where the lens hits, they say "OH I NEVER PUT THEM DOWN LIKE THAT!!!!'  

Or the ones who come and announce "I AM FRIENDS WITH DR. SO AND SO"  hoping we think they are some big important person.  My co-worker says under his breath, I know him too, he signs my paycheck.  Big woo!!!!

----------


## renee1111

Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice) 
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you? 
Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.

I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:

****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******

----------


## shelleygirl

you asked her how you could of known there was a problem without her calling or coming in the past three years????  The things we put up with....:hammer:

----------


## DestinieNicole

> Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice) 
> Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
> Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you? 
> Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.
> 
> I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:
> 
> ****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******


Oh yes the ever famous these have never been right glasses but it was over a decade ago when I got them and I'm just now letting you know! LOL people are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.

----------


## GAgal

> Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice) 
> Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
> Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you? 
> Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.
> 
> I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:
> 
> ****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******


I had something very similar
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a few months ago and I could never see out of them
Me: I'm sorry ma'am. Let me pull your file and see what I can do
Me: Ma'am I pulled your file, and the last time you had your eyes examined was 2 years ago
Lady: That's right, it's only been a few months and I think you should fix it. I paid $700 (they were actually only $325) for these glasses and they should last longer than 2 years so you should give me a new pair either for free or at a large discount. :shiner:

Another favorite: "You mean I have to give you back the glasses that I just got a refund for! You just told me that they're custom made so no one else can use them!" Well, evidently neither can you since you are getting a refund!:hammer:

----------


## jjm_1965

"Do I need a subscription to get glasses?"

Yes, and you need to purchase a new pair every week, otherwise you have to send back the complimentary clock radio.

----------


## Happylady

I had a man come in yesterday that had broken the temple off his internet eyeglasses. He tried to use epoxy to glue it back on and he put them in the oven to harden the epoxy.  :Eek: 

Of course, he still has a broken frame and now he has crazed AR lenses, too. He told me that he thought it would be okay because the oven was only 200 degrees.

 :Rolleyes:

----------


## Kid A

> "My nosepad fell off so I superglued it to my frame and got glue all over my lenses, can you get the glue off?" Super glue should be a controlled substance


Back when i was dispensing i was asked the same question by a patient. I put a splash of acetone on a tissue and it took the superglue right off, the lenses were tinted CR39 and looked brand new afterwards!

----------


## chip anderson

Actually if the stuff was worth it's salt it would be able to take two or 300 degrees.   Car temps in Summer can exceed three hundred if parked in the Sun with windows up.
Yeah, I know they shouldn't be left there.  But where are they gonna leave them when they put thier shades on and get out of the car for a round of golf or whatever?
200 degrees is the temp you set to dry out a computer hard drive that got wet.  Strangely enough it doesn't hurt them.  Actually resurects some if they were not turned on during and after getting wet before being dried in this manner.
Of course most epoxies will cure without external heat if one waits the proper amount of time.

Chip

----------


## Happylady

> Actually if the stuff was worth it's salt it would be able to take two or 300 degrees. Car temps in Summer can exceed three hundred if parked in the Sun with windows up.
> Yeah, I know they shouldn't be left there. But where are they gonna leave them when they put thier shades on and get out of the car for a round of golf or whatever?
> Chip


I leave a pair of glasses in the gloveboxes of both of my cars and have never had a problem with the AR crazing. My husband keeps a pair of sunglasses with backside AR in the eyeglass holder in the car without a problem. But I think these are different then leaving them in the direct sun on the dashboard or seat of the car. 

I actually had a man complain that his lenses crazed when he left them in the car. He was upset because he had left them on the SEAT and not the dashboard. He complained that I hadn't warned him about that, just about leaving them on the dashboard.  :Rolleyes: 

When I looked at the glasses the man had put in the oven my first thought was internet glasses. The frame looked very cheap without any names on it and the lenses had a different look, too, and not just because they were crazed. I'm sure it was a cheap AR but I don't think I would want to put even a good AR in a 200 degree oven for 15 minutes. Anyone care to try it? :)

----------


## alaskaoptical

A man JUST walked in and asked if he could order lenses today and pick out frames later.  High minus with significant cyl, presbyopia.  

Oh, the irony.

----------


## obxeyeguy

> A man JUST walked in and asked if he could order lenses today and pick out frames later. High minus with significant cyl, presbyopia. 
> 
> Oh, the irony.


Why not??  The lenses are minus, just make up a seg ht, as it really doesn't matter anyhow.  Take a PD and order away.  The only way this plays out in the negative is if you are using a true freeform lens.  If your using a conventional PAL(ie Comfort, Definity, etc) it changes nothing.

----------


## tdj

"I bought glasses from you three or four years ago, can you look up the prescription in the computer and give it to me so I can go buy new glasses?" Over the phone. Sure, lady, and while you're on hold why not call Walgreens and get them to give you a rx for the Vicodin you took in '98?

(After picking out progressive Varilux, AR, scotchgarded Transitions, during half off lenses event) "Why do these lenses cost $350? I can get a pair of glasses at Walmart for $55!" Sure, and you can also get pacemakers online from Chinese wholesalers for a few hundo. Want one?

"Are these frames here bisexual?"

"Can you put new lenses in these?" *holds up twenty-year-old DOC frame with green corrosion everywhere, stuck screws and those metal temple tips with circles at the ends*

----------


## jcasowder

> Well, at least they're not looking for the "man in the back" anymore. :shiner:


I know!  They seem shocked to see a "girl" running the lab (I'm 34 and been in the field for 20 years!), so when they start talking to me like I'm dumb, I throw around technical jargon and use tools for adjustments like a pro.  If they're buying, I get technical there, too.  Puts them in their place!

----------


## chip anderson

After twenty years you should be a pro, not like one.

----------


## EyeSeeYou

> Oh yes the ever famous these have never been right glasses but it was over a decade ago when I got them and I'm just now letting you know! LOL people are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.


Oh yes. About a week or two ago a lady called about her daughter's eyeglasses. Turns out her daughter had never received her free magazine subscription with the J-14 glasses that she purchased from our store. We looked up the girl's file, and LO AND BEHOLD, the transaction had taken place THREE years ago! :angry:  The mother also complained that she spent $200 dollars and for that amount of money, the glasses should last much longer then three years.  :Confused:  Actually, it turns out we gave the girl a  "student special", which was equal to $135 for a frame & polycarbonate lenses in a fairly high minus RX (this was to be a backup to the girl's freebie welfare glasses) and once again, it was *THREE*  stinkin' years ago! Isn't it about time the girl took advantage of her insurance and got a new examination and new glasses instead of fuming about glasses from three years ago?! The funniest part was when we looked in the girl's chart and realized that the mother actually 'owed' us for the eye examination back in 2006, since at that time, the girl had been in a Medicaid HMO, in which our office does not participate in. :angry:

----------


## EyeSeeYou

What never ceases to amaze me are the parents who pay all of *15* dollars to fulfill their material copay, utilizing their insurance through Vision Service Plan. These are the parents who get the child a covered frame from our collection, along with polycarbonate lenses, anti-reflective coating (usually a premium one, such as Crizal Alize), and [generation six] gray transitions. A few months later, the child's eyeglasses make a hasty and swift departure from the child's face, and our office gets the dreaded call from a frustrated, often infuriated parent: "My chyuuuld _LOST_ his/her glasses...isn't there some kind of warranty for this?!???", thus implying that THEIR child is so damn special that they should get $400 dollars worth of merchandise for free. Hmmm parents. . .how about YOU teach your child how to take care of his/her belongings in the first place, instead of pining the blame on us?!?!! ARRGGHHHH!!!:angry::angry::finger: And no, we don't offer a warranty for "lost" eyeglasses. IMHO, you'd have to be extremely desperate and foolhardy to give anyone, child or adult, $400 plus worth of merchandise for the $15 dollar material copay that the insured person paid for in the first place. You might lose a patient or two, but at the end of the day, you still have your dignity and your principles intact...lol. ;)

----------


## jcasowder

> After twenty years you should be a pro, not like one.


If a girl says she's a "pro", she gets dirty looks!   :bbg:

----------


## DestinieNicole

Monday morning after finishing up with a patient that has seriously come in and "looked" for about a week now, she looked at me and said, "Where is the Dr.?  He needs to come measure me for these glasses."  I explained to her that I just did all of the necessary measurements.  Still unconvinced she insisted on seeing the Dr.  Doc came out and said I would be happy to measure you, right after my optician completes your exam. :)

----------


## chip anderson

JCA:
Real good point, being male it never ocurred to me.

Chip

----------


## gunner05

Girls that say that don't get dirty looks from me, they usually get a drink or five.

----------


## jefe

I had a guy come in once whose glasses were twisted into a knot -- definitely irreparable.  He told me he had a "bowling accident."  Apparently, he had thrown a gutter ball and, as he put it, "flew into a violent rage."  

Interesting fellow, that one.

----------


## jefe

I had a customer who was a doctoral candidate at a nearby university.  She had come to purchase lenses for her frame.

She told me she had purchased the frame in order to look more intelligent but sabotaged herself when, in front of her doctoral committee, she poked through her lensless frame to wipe something out of her eye.

----------


## braheem24

> I had a customer who was a doctoral candidate at a nearby university. She had come to purchase lenses for her frame.
> 
> She told me she had purchased the frame in order to look more intelligent but sabotaged herself when, in front of her doctoral commitee, she poked through her lensless frame to wipe something out of her eye.


as long as she wasnt going for her "obstatrician" degree, she'll be ok.

----------


## chip anderson

Just today I had one who wanted a smiley face in his prosthetic eye (not a spare) and another who wanted to know how to remove gray eyelashes.

Chip

----------


## fjpod

Today we had someone ask for a warranty replacement of glasses eaten by their pitbull.

----------


## Striderswife

I know this is a really old thread, but I only came across it a couple days ago in a search result. We had a phone call yesterday, and I had to add to the comments.

The lady on the phone said, "besides medication, what could cause blurry vision?" Where do we start? Why don't you just come in for your exam and find out?? There's a million answers.

I feel a little better after sharing.

----------


## jamie w

Its not a question but how about when a pt comes in for a contact lens check without their contacts in their eyes!  Or when they come in to have lenses put in there frame without bringing the frame!!!

----------


## chip anderson

Contact lens check-ups, etc. should always be done in the afternoon after the lens has been worn as long as possible.  Many things look fine after the first hour or two of wear, while problems show up better the longer the lens has been on the eye.
It's amazing how many practioners will schedule this sort of thing first thing in the morning.
It's also amazing how few practioners realize that refraction should be done over the contacts for accuracy in contacts.
Also amazing how many will take rigid contacts off the patient and immeadiately do a spectacle Rx, which is totally useless from a practical stand point if done in this manner.
But then we ain't what we used to be....
Chip

----------


## jamie w

Not a question but how about when someone comes in for a contact lens check without wearing their contacts or someone comes in to have lenses inserted in their own frame but doesnt bring the frame.  I had a lady leave swearing at me because she couldnt understand I needed her frame to put her lenses in!!:hammer:

----------


## Ashlee

> Q: "why do all the frames you have look the same?" A: "you mean you can't tell the difference between this black plastic 54 eye aviator double bridge frame and this Silhouette rimless 48 eye oval? You really do need new glasses!"
> 
> Q: "what's the difference between my old prescription and my new one" A: "half a diopter" reponse: "what does that mean" :hammer: 
> 
> Q: "Does my insurance cover this?" A: "uh....what kind of GD insurance do you have, like I'm supposed to know already" response: "I dunno....it's like vision... something"
> 
> Q: "what's this green stuff on my eyepieces? A: "face cheese. Try cleaning your glasses more than once a week, dirtbag"
> 
> Q: "do my glasses need adjusting?" A: "if you need to ask, the answer is: no, they don't"
> ...


I love this!!! Its exacatly the dumb @$$ questions I have to deal with on a daily basis! Spexvet you hit the nail on the head.

----------


## chip anderson

"I just bought three new pairs of glasses at XXXX, and came by for you to adjust them.  No one can adjust my glasses but you and I know you won't mind......"
I probably won't show it, but I da*n sure do mind.

Chip

----------


## gmanlook

"Can I get a screw?":finger:

----------


## k12311997

> "Can I get a screw?":finger:


 
"I have a screw loose."

----------


## Pogu

"What kind of medicine are you putting in my son's glasses? Cause I gots to know!"

uhhhh, lenses.......

----------


## obxeyeguy

..

----------


## jjm_1965

> _Patient puts specs on dispensing table and points out that one temple is a little higher than the other....._"My glasses are crooked. Can you fix that?"


You feel like saying "Will you be wearing the glasses or displaying them on a shelf?"

----------


## Wes

In the last 2 days; 
Do you work on tele-VISIONS?
AND
with 800 or so frames behind me,
Do you do glasses here?

What all insurances do yall take? What color this (gray frame)is?

----------


## Striderswife

> In the last 2 days; 
> Do you work on tele-VISIONS?
> AND
> with 800 or so frames behind me,
> Do you do glasses here?
> 
> What all insurances do yall take? What color this (gray frame)is?


My response to "do you sell glasses here" is "no, we sell tires.  On some days we sell shoes!"  Said with a smile, of course.

I am often proud of myself for all the colors I know.  No one else but an optician can name 17 different names for "red."  Sometimes I want to say to the patient "did you not go to Kindergarten and learn your colors??"  And I don't know how many times I've repeated to the same patient, "they ALL come in different colors."

----------


## kikin

After glasses have been picked up and paid for, "Why didn't you bill my insurance?"---insurances are blank on patients form!

----------


## kikin

And this one- "My daughters glasses were just sitting on the bathroom sink and when she picked them up they just fell apart".:hammer:

----------


## chip anderson

"Why did that screw lossen up (or fall out, or whatever)?"

----------


## gmc

Years ago, probably the early 90s, a patient purchased UV protection on his new glasses. He came in for an adjustment a while later and told me that the HIV on his glasses was wonderful!

----------


## sr20bet

Someone asked if there was any correlation between their contact lens diameter and their nipple diameter.  I guess they didn't teach me that technique in school, so I pretend I never heard their questions and just continued with the measurement......of the eye :hammer:

----------


## Dave Metzger

Gent asks me to remove his scratches. I told him CR 39 lenses need to be replaced. Leaves the shop angry , comes back in a week and throws his glasses at me. "Look what you made me do !!!"  He tried to remove his scratches with steelwool, 000 grit.  SCHMUCK!!!!!! If you're gonna try to remove the scratches, Just damage one lens, NOT both.


Another day, guy spends $300 and leaves a $20 bill on the table as a deposit. I told him that I need 1/2 down or payment in full. He says "What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow?"  I replied, "Make that cash, please"

----------


## Uncle Fester

> Someone asked if there was any correlation between their contact lens diameter and their nipple diameter.


My Master's thesis! Now where do I apply for a Federal grant?

----------


## nboptican

I love it when someone comes in complaining their glasses are loose. Ill check the nosepads, check behind the ears and nothing looks out of place. Then the person proceeds to *VIOLENTLY* shake their head up and down and back and forth, making the glasses slip down a bit. "See! Theyre loose!!"  ... OMG....

----------


## Striderswife

I love it when people come to me, say, "can I get my glasses adjusted?" and just hand them to me.  The majority of the time, I have to hand them right back and say, "I need to see them on you, to know what I need to do!"

----------


## opticianbart

> I love it when people come to me, say, "can I get my glasses adjusted?" and just hand them to me. The majority of the time, I have to hand them right back and say, "I need to see them on you, to know what I need to do!"


 
except that's where they always seem to want you to make them sit flat on the counter.

I'm sorry sir/ma'am that's what we call "bench aligned" and i'm sorry to say that it has nothing to do with the way it fits you. :)

----------


## specsga

Had a lady ask for a cheeseburger w/ fried and a Dr. Pepper, once.

----------


## specsga

OOPS!  Fries

----------


## Striderswife

> except that's where they always seem to want you to make them sit flat on the counter.
> 
> I'm sorry sir/ma'am that's what we call "bench aligned" and i'm sorry to say that it has nothing to do with the way it fits you. :)


If they come in really messed up, I'll get them to four-point alignment, then tell the patient, "now, they're straight when I put them down, but that doesn't mean they'll be straight on you."  One of these days I'll offend someone by insinuating that their face isn't perfect.

----------


## CME4SPECS

> Had a lady ask for a cheeseburger w/ fried and a Dr. Pepper, once.


I'll be nice here...since I don't know where you worked last month!

----------


## braheem24

> I'll be nice here...since I don't know where you worked last month!


It says the south :hammer: Gawga to be exact.  


Obviously shares patients with me and Chip... that's explanation enough.

----------


## specsga

Sure do Braheem......... Heck! My list of things to be aware of to new presbyopes, in addition to the obvious steps, uneven pavement etc, includes boats and treestands. ( Which are two of my favorite places to be, I might add)

----------


## lola

My son has a fever. Do you think it's from his new glasses?

----------


## kikin

Woman puts on her new glasses..."OMG I can't see through these, is the prescription right, it 's all blurry, this has never happened before, what's wrong?"  I look at her chart and ask "are you wearing your contacts?"...............................Oh yeah:hammer:.

----------


## kcount

Patient stands at the front desk of a busy office, having just picked up a new set of contacts. She looks at the contact lens case, looks up and with an earnest face says, "I know that 'R' is for Right but how do I know which is the Left?"

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.
:drop:

----------


## GAgal

> Woman puts on her new glasses..."OMG I can't see through these, is the prescription right, it 's all blurry, this has never happened before, what's wrong?" I look at her chart and ask "are you wearing your contacts?"...............................Oh yeah:hammer:.


Happened to me when I was a newbie, took me a minute to figure it out...the guy yelled for about 5 minutes and then I said sir, do you have your contacts in? He turned beet red and his wife about peed on herself laughing so hard. She told him that's what he gets for acting like a jacka$$

----------


## dammy05

Lady comes in and says 

 - "I have a problem with my glasses that I picked up last week."

 - "Okay, what's the problem?"

 - "Well I'm not sure, I was hoping you could tell me."

 - "Well what are your symptoms?"

 - "Every time I take off my glasses I can still feel them on my head..."

 - "And you want me to do what??"

----------


## Golfnorth

Ok here's one from yesterday. A customer comes in and has me adjust her glasses on her. There are a few other customers in the store so when I'm done she suggests that while she waits for her husband to come and pick her up she can see how they feel. Ok so far so good. Then her husband comes in to get her and while standing by the front door she asks me that since she lives on the far side of town and since it's a bit of a hassle to come back, could I teach her how to adjust her own glasses so she won't have to bother me again?

Regards,
Golfnorth

----------


## Spexvet

Ring, ring.
Hello
Can you send me a couple of nose thingies for my glasses?

----------


## Spexvet

Do my glasses need adjusting?
Does something seem out of whack with them?
I'm not sure. They don't feel just right, and my husband tried them on and agrees.

----------


## opticianbart

just remember, your eyes are made to work in tandem.

wait, I thought UV was bad for my eyes

...long...drawn out sigh....... :cry:

----------


## eganrem

Man walks into our showroom and asks...

"Do you guys sell eyeglasses here?"

----------


## ap

"Why doesn't my insurance cover that?"

----------


## William Walker

(We have a tower of sunglasses with a wire attaching them to the base)

From pt: (while holding the sunglass in her hand) 'How do you try them on?'

Response: (as nicely as possible) 'You just put them on your face.'

From pt: 'How do I put them back - I don't know where they go?'

(Mind you, there's a wire attaching it to a particular spot on the tower)

Response: 'Here, maybe I should take care of that for you.'

 :Rolleyes:

----------


## scriptfiller

I always love...

I can't see that good out of my right eye as I do my left (pat. is covering left eye), but I can see just fine out of both. (pat uncovers left eye).

Gotta love it!

----------


## bob_f_aboc

This came from one of our techs...

Testing pt's near acuity.  Hands patient reading card and occluder.  Tells pt, "cover your left eye and tell me the smallest line you can read."

Pt says, "I can't read any of them."  Tech turns around from entering info into the computer to see pt with the reading card over her left eye and staring very intently at the occluder with the right looking very puzzled.

----------


## Uncle Fester

MD

Word-- Women comes in glasses askew.

"These glasses are no good. They get all bent out of shape when I sleep with them."

"Umm, Don't sleep with them on"

"But my doctor told me to wear them all the time."

----------


## k12311997

I got two this week.

Phone call unknown woman- "are you in a building?" 


Phone call existing patient woman " I just joined (well known national fittness club) and they have TVs on all there cardio equipment." pause.. pause.

Me "OK, and...."

pt (huffy, as if it was painfully obvious why) "Well isn't it bad for my eyes to be that close to a TV."

----------


## eye.guy

My response is:  80% of what?  Well then you will be wanting my million dollar frames then.

----------


## WFruit

While still working in a retail location I had a patient bring in a note from her ophthalmologist stating that the lenses we had made for her were 180 degrees off axis.... but the PD's were correct.

----------


## finefocus

> While still working in a retail location I had a patient bring in a note from her ophthalmologist stating that the lenses we had made for her were 180 degrees off axis.... but the PD's were correct.


 One of those guys who write Rx's with axis 000. You made axis 180. Clearly, a lab error!

----------


## jpways

I had a new one today, the patient calls up to confirm the time of the appointment and then asks: "I generally drink a lot of coffee every morning, about 5-8 cups, should I not drink coffee before I come in?"

What I wanted to ask was do you irish any of that coffee, but I was too busy laughing when I put the patient on hold to think at the moment.

----------


## gmc

Had an early presbyope tell me today that when she puts on her new progressives she feels oozy. I thought maybe I should get some gloves.

----------


## Strab

> One of those guys who write Rx's with axis 000. You made axis 180. Clearly, a lab error!


I can't tell you how many times a week I get phone calls from Opticians and Tech's telling me that there is an error on the script because the axis was written 000. Makes me wanna scream! :Eek:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> I can't tell you how many times a week I get phone calls from Opticians and Tech's telling me that there is an error on the script because the axis was written 000. Makes me wanna scream!


We got one from a local OD that had axis 185 on one eye.

----------


## optical24/7

> We got one from a local OD that had axis 185 on one eye.


 
He must be using the 360 series lenses from Essilor.:D

----------


## Jana Lewis

> he must be using the 360 series lenses from essilor.:d


 
zing!!! Lol!!!

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Heh heh.:D:cheers::cheers::D

On ours it turned out the axis was supposed to be 075. How he got 185 is beyond me...

----------


## EHARDWICK

First I'll say optiboard rocks, glad to become a member. Just passed up my 1 year mark.

Gentelman (age about 60) sat down to order glass. In the process ask about a tatto on his are (making small talk). Well he told me about all his tattos. Then proceded to tell me about his wife's tatto's. Bird on one shoulder, flower on the other, ect, ect. Then he says "But you need to see the masterpiece, as he makes a circle around his stomach. I'm thinking oh a belly tat not like i haven't seen one of those. About this time his wife (age about 60) walks up behind him and he says honey show him. I remind you this is in our waiting room. She pulls up her shirt past her belly and on up to her chin. :drop:A big chest tat of an elephant. Needless to say the front office staff ran to the back room to hide their laughter.
PS She is a very proud cancer survivor.

----------


## Uncle Fester

After working with her on a first time progressive for half an hour yesterday and having her cancel it this morning-

"I did some research on the internet and I know my Dad would be spinning in his grave if he knew I was asking this but why do glasses cost so much?"

Dad was an Optometrist.

----------


## kcount

"Why aren't you a member of the OAA?"
:hammer:

----------


## Wes

Ok I wasn't asked this but it was pretty stupid.
I saw a lady in my shop earlier looking for lens cleaner. As I was showing her where it was, I noticed that one of her lenses was bulging/protruding from the frame and I told her so. She said, "theys not sticking out. Theys bifocals". I explained that I understand that they're progressive "bifocals", but the lens was indeed in danger of falling out of the frame. Her partner snorted at me and said "duh. She just told you they was bifocals". Then they left shaking their heads, laughing at me!
Some days...

----------


## hcjilson

> "Why aren't you a member of the OAA?"
> :hammer:


I had thought this was a thread about stupid questions. I didn't think that was a stupid question....I don't think the person who asked it of you thought it was a stupid question.In fact, I think it has relevance ....just not in this thread. If you wish to start a NEW thread on the subject, I am sure you will find some takers.

----------


## kcount

> I had thought this was a thread about stupid questions. I didn't think that was a stupid question....I don't think the person who asked it of you thought it was a stupid question.In fact, I think it has relevance ....just not in this thread. If you wish to start a NEW thread on the subject, I am sure you will find some takers.


And thats why there's Chocolate _and_ Vanilla ice cream.

----------


## bob_f_aboc

> Ok I wasn't asked this but it was pretty stupid.
> I saw a lady in my shop earlier looking for lens cleaner. As I was showing her where it was, I noticed that one of her lenses was bulging/protruding from the frame and I told her so. She said, "theys not sticking out. Theys bifocals". I explained that I understand that they're progressive "bifocals", but the lens was indeed in danger of falling out of the frame. Her partner snorted at me and said "duh. She just told you they was bifocals". Then they left shaking their heads, laughing at me!
> Some days...


Kinda makes you wonder what she was told where she bought them...

----------


## optilady1

2 of my favorites:

"when my glasses come back, are they still going to have the writing on the lens?"
(Demo lenses with brand on them)

pt trying on new frames, takes frame off rack, puts on, looks around.  looks back at me.  says, "how come i can't see out of these?"

yeah.

----------


## Uncle Fester

> "when my glasses come back, are they still going to have the writing on the lens?"
> (Demo lenses with brand on them)


"But I want the writing on them!"

----------


## Striderswife

> "when my glasses come back, are they still going to have the writing on the lens?"
> (Demo lenses with brand on them)



For some reason, every time I show a frame by Jalapenos, I get that question.  Hundreds of frames in the room, and that small selection is the only one that makes people ask "that pepper won't be there, will it?"  Um, no.

----------


## kelanor

> For some reason, every time I show a frame by Jalapenos, I get that question. Hundreds of frames in the room, and that small selection is the only one that makes people ask "that pepper won't be there, will it?" Um, no.


We get that with Vera Bradley...everyone panics about the rhinestone.

----------


## k12311997

> We get that with Vera Bradley...everyone panics about the rhinestone.


I actually had someone ask for the rhinestone on the vera,  but yeah that is pretty universall I usually say well it's only $20 to have it removed.

----------


## Pogu

> pt trying on new frames, takes frame off rack, puts on, looks around.  looks back at me.  says, "how come i can't see out of these?"
> 
> yeah.


 Whats scary is when they claim to be able to see better out of them!

----------


## optilady1

it's cute when kids do it, but when the adults do, i just don't know what to think.

----------


## optilady1

pt: i want to go with whatever my vsp covers
me: ok sir (smiling brightly)
one week later....
pt: wow, it's hot outside.  i didn't get your phone call that my glasses are in.
me: oh, sorry sir, here are your new glasses.  
pt: great.  too bad vsp doesn't cover polarized....they wouldn't been great working on my boat.  by the way, back in 1995, i paid 180,000 dollars for my boat.  i sure love that thing.  it's still too bad vsp doesn't cover polarized in full...(frowning...)
me:(fake smile plastered on) well, gee, thats unfortunate.  maybe next year.
pt: ok, off to work on the boat.  gee, retirement is great!
me: waves, smiles (thinks @#**@#&!!!!!!!!)  goes back to eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  

stupid stupid stupid

----------


## Striderswife

Snort.  I know exactly what you mean.  You have a $180,000 boat, but won't spring for a good quality pair of prescription sunglasses to wear on the water, you cheap sonofagun.  >:(

----------


## optilady1

omg.  like seriously dude.  you own a boat company.  and your glasses are 7. years. old.  and yet, you all know what is coming next:

don't these come with a lifetime warrenty?

----------


## banjOJO

On the other end  of the spectrum we have an employee who famously said "I can't screw standing up"

----------


## jefe

Or my coworker, an apprentice, who went over to the Optometrist's office and angrily demanded to know whether the add on the rx was a + or a - because they didn't write a sign.   That certainly straightened the doctor's staff out!

But I guess this and the post above belong in a different thread.

----------


## Mactire

Last year we had an local initiative with social services. 
They gave out vouchers and then poor people could get a free pair of glasses.
Initially for the most basic you can think off, but still, they can see again.
Sure if someone has a very high Rx we'd split the extra costs or give it away.

But then...

Guy comes in with voucher.
"I'm here for free spectacles, I'll take a look aroud and let you know when I'm ready"
So the guy is ready and picked a 400,- frame, tosses his Rx on the table (imaginably low) and wants the most expansive lenses in them.

I explaned to him that it was very to expensive and the voucher didn't cover that much.
He replied: "No problem, I'll pay for the extra costs"
OMGWTF? Just how did he get that voucher?
I told him that was not the intention of the initiative and send him away.
I mean come on...

----------


## optilady1

that should definately be a new thread

"What's the stupidest thing you've heard your fellow optician say or do"

anyone who's worked with me could probably fill a book

----------


## Mactire

These ones undlerline the effect of economizing on personel:

- "What's a prism anyway..."
- In response of 1 cm pd difference in a -4 lens: "That'll be a little of getting used to..."
- "Ishihara... Don't they make computerparts or something?"
- "Bi-focals... do they still make them?"
- About polarisation: "It removes reflections from sight, just like AR only better."

These are actual quotes from only one person *_*

----------


## rinkmom2two

We had a patient who was prescribed baby shampoo lid scrubs for blepharitis.  She came back a few weeks later for follow up, and complained how the baby shampoo stung her eyes.  She was putting the shampoo directly into her eyes!  :(

----------


## rinkmom2two

> We had a patient who was prescribed baby shampoo lid scrubs for blepharitis.  She came back a few weeks later for follow up, and complained how the baby shampoo stung her eyes.  She was putting the shampoo directly into her eyes!  :(


Sorry, I just found this thread and was replying to an old post..... This is a great post BTW... laughing out loud here!

----------


## rinkmom2two

> Sorry, I just found this thread and was replying to an old post..... This is a great post BTW... laughing out loud here!


oops, not post, thread!  I think it's time to go home!!!  :o

----------


## Striderswife

> oops, not post, thread! I think it's time to go home!!! :o



It's okay.  It is an old thread, but we keep it going.  You have to have stuff like this to keep yourself sane.  Or at least reassure you that you're not the only one who has to deal with craziness.

----------


## elaneo

This is a scenario more than a question.

Customer comes in and asks for reading glasses.  I ask if the Px has had his eyes examined and he responds with a no.  After talking for a short while explaining an Rx is needed for a custom pair of reading glasses for him only, I understand that he just wants simple readers.  After trying to tell him the OD checks his health and VA he insists on cheaters.  So i direct him to the dollar store or other stores that carry readers.
Then he tells me he doesn't want to be cheap or where those cheap readers...and so I referred him to an OD...he looked confused and walked away.

----------


## nicker

(A customer was filling out a medical history form and was at the family history section) "You don't want MY family history, do you?"  Whose would I want?

----------


## CCGREEN

:hammer:The one that continues to amaze me is the pt who comes from the Dr. with RX in hand knowing what they want, and just stand in front of the frames with a bewildered look on the face, waiting, just waiting for a invite from you to pick up then damn frame and put it on their face. Do people really really expect you to come do it for them? My word. No one does that for me when I'm looking for a new shirt, pants, shoes or even underwear why would I expect them to do it when I'm looking for a pair of glasses.:hammer:

----------


## Striderswife

That's why I've gotten to the point where I bring the glasses to the patient.  It's easiest on everyone that way.  I can keep track of what they've already tried, what they liked and didn't like, and when they figure out what they really want, I know where to go to find those frames.  Occassionally, someone will want to browse on their own, and that's okay, but I let them know I'm here to answer any questions.  That also says "I'm right here, so don't try to take anything."  But for the patient who _just doesn't know what they want_, and have given me that deer in the headlights look of "how do I do this??!!" it's incredibly helpful.  I become their personal shopper, and people kind of like that term.

----------


## Mactire

I always approach customers. It's the beginning of a sale. 
And it keeps the pirates at bay, we once had a RayBan stand cleared in one smooth motion. The guy swiped them of the stand bottom to top and dropped them in his back. Then he ran for his life. Never caught the guy.

It also gives the clients the feeling that they are appreciated. And giving them advise/compliments give most of them the feeling of being taken serious, even if they are just browsing.

And it's great fun advising ^_^

----------


## RetroRat

Sort of related:

had a px come in complaining his lenses kept popping out, I gave them a quick glance over and noticed both eye wire screws were about to make the great escape, so I tightened them up and dropped some screwlock in and sure enough the lenses stayed in place. 

"I'm pretty disappointed in these glasses, you'd think they'd be able to keep the lenses in without me havin' to come in. I take extra good care of them too!"

so I told him if he had any more issues to pop back in and handed him his glasses back when he chucked them into his back pocket (no case) and went on his merry way. 

Extra good care, ha! We'll be seeing him again in the not too distant future, I'm afraid.

----------


## ogonik

Thats great!! Just read this, monday is a lot better.

----------


## birdylove

Heard this gem this week:  "When I close my eyes, and move my eyes, I can feel my eyes move."  I admit it, I looked for the hidden camera...

----------


## Ginster

Auh, Yeah, Its called Customer Service. If Im going to pay $300.00 or more for a pair of glasses in your shop I want CUSTOMER SERVICE. It's our job to show them the frames that we think would best fit there face and RX. Its what we are here for. It can be overwhelming to them, so get up out of your chair and help them.

----------


## Yellow

I get alot of people with really big heads.... so really big frames... they get angry at me when I don't give them a slimline case! 

I had one yesterday that tried to fit it in for 5 minutes then discovered if its loosened around the ears it will fit... then is angry again! 
In the end he wanted it so loose it needed to be stapled to his head... so he could have the cool slim case! 

You can't win with some people...

----------


## specs4you

pt: are my glasses straight? (dropping chin lower and lower)
me: sir/mam, would you mind raising your chin please ?
pt: leans in and lowers it again
this goes on and on back and forth and I get lower and lower till
finally saying that if they don't hold their head up we will soon
both be on the floor.
pt: looks at me bewildered every single time

For me this goes on all day at this new place .........

----------


## optilady1

stupid pt #1:  I've been wearing this rgp for 20 years.  it's fine, except for this big scratch in the middle.  it doesn't bother me, i just look around it.  i'm gonna get a new lens today, and since i'm 54, it'll probably last me until i die.

stupid pt #2:  I just want to order the same contacts i've had since 1998.  the dr says i see 20/80 in them, but my vision isn't really important.  i only wear them on the weakends.  no, i don't want to be refit into newer materials.  i mean, how good could disposable contacts really be?  

i think someone should research into some weird chemical leaching out of contacts into one's brains, that makes them ALL crazy.  i mean, come. on.

----------


## braheem24

This week...


Do you take dental insurance?

----------


## spicyeyes

can u change my eye pads?

----------


## Striderswife

> can u change my eye pads?


Yeah, I hear that sometimes, too. Really, it doesn't take much thought to call them by their proper name. It bugs me when people get the parts wrong. I've heard temples be called both "arms" and "legs," sometimes "stems." What bothered me the most had to have been a regional thing. When I lived in WI, patients constantly called them "bows." Which segues into another term that irkes me: spring-loaded frames. Ggruuaaahhh!! (That's me making an exasperated grunting sound.) I really have to bite my tounge to keep from correcting my elders. Deep breath. I'm okay. Really. :hammer:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Around here we get terms for temples such as ears, earpipeces, and hootenannies.

----------


## gmc

Yesterday I had a lady call that said she was ordering glasses online and was having a problem. Her Rx said OD  pl  OS +0.50 Add +1.50. When she tried to enter pl on the order form it wouldn't take it. She wanted to know what should she enter there.

----------


## Yellow

WOOPS! I've been showing a staff member this thread cause it's so funny... she happened to quote one to a patient...

Px was asking how come she couldn't see out of the frames, was told they are just the frames we put the lenses in later... px still didn't understand and kept asking and kept getting told the same thing... I then hear that beautiful quotation:

I'm very sorry, had I known you were going to be here I would have put your prescription into all of the glasses for you beforehand.

Problem! Px called today to let me know she was coming in again tomorrow so I can put the power into the glasses please?

Ha! Got to be the highlight of my week! :)

----------


## IcyTrax

"There's something wrong with the sunglasses you sold me.  I can't see through them when I wear them at night."  :finger:

----------


## Ammo

> WOOPS! I've been showing a staff member this thread cause it's so funny... she happened to quote one to a patient...
> 
> Px was asking how come she couldn't see out of the frames, was told they are just the frames we put the lenses in later... px still didn't understand and kept asking and kept getting told the same thing... I then hear that beautiful quotation:
> 
> I'm very sorry, had I known you were going to be here I would have put your prescription into all of the glasses for you beforehand.
> 
> Problem! Px called today to let me know she was coming in again tomorrow so I can put the power into the glasses please?
> 
> Ha! Got to be the highlight of my week! :)


Dont stop now!! What happened?!

----------


## Yellow

Well I told the patient that while we could do that for her, we'd need abit more time and it would cost approx $3000, how about instead I put some lenses in your eyes... no charge. She was very happy she didn't have to pay $3000 and went with contacts to trial while she tried on the glasses.

Whew! Lesson learnt, no matter how much you want to say something, its just not worth it!

----------


## RetroRat

> I just thought up a new answer to that question: "Yes, but it costs (cost of replacement lenses) and takes 7 working days. Or you could just order replacement lenses for these. Takes 7 working days."


You're going to get me into trouble now, someones going to ask me that question and I'm not even going to be able to help myself! :shiner:

----------


## mlm

Got a new one last week.  Guy walks in and asks how much is an eye exam.  My coworker tells him, then he proceeds to explain that we only have to charge him half price because we don't need to test both eyes.  He just didn't get it when we said that we still have to do a complete eye exam and that we still will charge full price. :hammer:

----------


## calirider07

I had a lady looking at frames, she took her glasses off and put them in the pile of frames she already tried on.  After about 15 minutes, she started putting the frames back that she wasn't interested in......Ok....here's the best part!  She picked a frame off the frame wall and said "ooohh..I like these".....It was her own frame that she accidentally put away!  I told her that I would make her a sweet deal on them!...After she figured it all out, we both had a real good laugh, it made my day!

----------


## loisrap

So you let them know that you go to a hootenanny not wear them?

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

No, they wear their hootenannies to the hootenanny.

----------


## ih8wlmrt

Just had this random exchange
patient "are you always aware you have eyes?
me-"I am sorry I don't understand the question"
patient "I am always aware I have eyes, are you?"
Me with stupid look on face "I am not really sure what you mean, do you mean the glasses are uncomfortable and you are always aware that you are wearing them"
patient "No I don't notice the glasses, I can just always feel my eyes in my head and it bothers me"
me "do your eyes hurt????"
patient "no they don't hurt I just know they are there"
I still don't know what she was talking about

----------


## optilady1

so i had a crazy lady who broke her new glasses (don't know what happened, i bent over to feed my cat, and they just broke).  
so she's wearing her friends old glasses, and they work just fine. 
wants to pick out a new pair because she doesn't trust her newly broken ones.  i'm internally rolling my eyes, and then she tells me that she falls a lot.  
because she's had brain surgury.
and que the guilt i now feel for being a total jerk.
i still think she's crazy though.

----------


## Striderswife

@ih8wlmrt: that's awesome.  The pt probably has really bad sinus issues.  That's my guess.

@optilady1: I have so much I could say about your patient.  I won't, out of respect for people who just can't help it.  But I've got a term for them, "head patients."  We see a lot of them in my office, bless their hearts.

----------


## Striderswife

Oh, I forgot, I had something funny of my own to post.  It's not a stupid question, but a stupid answer to a normal question on the patient history form.  In response to "current conditions" (or however it was worded), one of the items listed was *34 A bra size*.

What?!?

Now, the dr. she was going to see was, in fact, an attractive man.  But a married man.  And she was a married woman, who was at her appointment with one or two children that were her own.  And she never gave any kind of hint that she had a motive, or tried to be coy or cute.  What was she thinking??  We all just about died when she was gone.  Good times.

----------


## loisrap

I had a patient today tell me that her father had detachable retinas.  Do they snap in or do they Velcro? I was afraid to ask.

----------


## ih8wlmrt

[QUOTE=Striderswife;349925]Oh, I forgot, I had something funny of my own to post. It's not a stupid question, but a stupid answer to a normal question on the patient history form. In response to "current conditions" (or however it was worded), one of the items listed was *34 A bra size*.

What?!?


maybe she was confused and thought she was at her appointment with Dr. 90210

----------


## AngeHamm

> Oh, I forgot, I had something funny of my own to post. It's not a stupid question, but a stupid answer to a normal question on the patient history form. In response to "current conditions" (or however it was worded), one of the items listed was *34 A bra size*.


That. Is. HILARIOUS.

----------


## 94NDTA

My favorite was actually presented to my wife. "When I jump up and down on a trampoline (middle aged woman by the way), my glasses move up in down. Can you fix that for me?"

No lady, it's called gravity. What goes up, must come down. Your glasses are not excluded from gravity.

Oh, and first post. WOOHOO!

----------


## Miss Peepers

I was doing a contact lens instruction on a large woman with really bulging eyes, probably Graves Disease, many years ago when I was a 'newbie'. When she held her lids to put the lens in she accidently tilted her head down toward the floor. He eyeball popped out of it's socket and she blinked behind it! The nerves and muscles were hanging out and in typical fashion for me I was freaking out inside, but calm on the outside. I tried to steady my voice as I said, "OK, now pull your finger back and sit back slowly, keep holding your lids." She did so and the eyeball fell back into it's socket. I excused myself and went to knock on the exam room door, when the doc answered I said, "This woman's eyeball popped out of her head!" He said, without missing a beat, "Is it on the floor?" True story. LOL  :Nerd:  :hammer:

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> I was doing a contact lens instruction on a large woman with really bulging eyes, probably Graves Disease, many years ago when I was a 'newbie'. When she held her lids to put the lens in she accidently tilted her head down toward the floor. He eyeball popped out of it's socket and she blinked behind it! The nerves and muscles were hanging out and in typical fashion for me I was freaking out inside, but calm on the outside. I tried to steady my voice as I said, "OK, now pull your finger back and sit back slowly, keep holding your lids." She did so and the eyeball fell back into it's socket. I excused myself and went to knock on the exam room door, when the doc answered I said, "This woman's eyeball popped out of her head!" He said, without missing a beat, "Is it on the floor?" True story. LOL  :hammer:



Like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4zh4jdd-m0

----------


## kcount

Not stupid, just scary.

third year OMD Intern: "How do I read prism in a lensometer?"

----------


## finefocus

> Not stupid, just scary.
> 
> third year OMD Intern: "How do I read prism in a lensometer?"


Our OD brings glasses (Rx about -8.00) to us to measure the prism - we ask, "At what PD?" - she says, huh???

----------


## Miss Peepers

> Like this?
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4zh4jdd-m0


 
Yes, but worse, her eyeball was out of the socket! I saw all the muscles and nerves and she literally blinked behind it. When she lifted her head back it just went right back into place. The woman looked that that one too. It was back in 1989, I wonder if she's from the West Chester area--lol.

----------


## the jake

Oh man I always wanted to tell this story:

Lady comes in and says

"My frame it change color"

I say

"Well, over time everything fades and becomes older. I suggest keeping them in the case and using the cleaning tools every once in a while"

She replies

"but you say I have scratch proof and warranty"

to which I say

".... uhhhhh yeah.... that's for the lenses"

----------


## mrmac

An Asian woman just came in for the 4th time looking at my frame selection (I show over 3000 frames).She was very frustrated because she couldn't find what she wanted, so she complained "your inventory caters to Americans". ...I replied..."This may come as a surprise, but the last time I checked this was still America...They left very abruptly....Lord knows , Tact has NEVER been my strong suit.

----------


## cleyes

An 86 yr old man filled out history/symptom sheet, next to foreign body sensation he wrote:Every time I lay next to my French girlfriend!

----------


## mleeuw

Client enters the store and complains very loudly about his bent frame.
(they were really crooked)
He is very angry because he didn't have ist very long(Later we  determined is was 4 years old)
He throws the glasses on the table and says he didn't do nothing.
He woke up this morning and foud the all fxxxxed up.
My colleageu kees his cool 
Takes a step back as does nothing but wathing the glasses.
Client is very annoyed that nothing is happing
But my colleageu replies,
Ïf they became all bent by them selves, they can come back on their own,
And I've never seen that before."

Others customers in the shop burst out laughing.
This customer was never a problem again.

----------


## Barry Santini

"I've been wearing glasses for 15 years, and I've never had this (fill in the blank) happen before!"

My response: "I had a cat for 15 years, and then it died. Never did that before."

B

----------


## Ory

> "I've been wearing glasses for 15 years, and I've never had this (fill in the blank) happen before!"
> 
> My response: "I had a cat for 15 years, and then it died. Never did that before."
> 
> B


Now that's funny!

----------


## uncut

"Can you see my brain?"   As a contact lens fitter, I have experienced situations that are typical of nervous, giddy, apprehensive blurts-outs by clients during fitting, training, etc.

The above question ranks as perhaps the silliest question asked during a slit-lamp evaluation, though!!!!

----------


## Ory

> "Can you see my brain?"   As a contact lens fitter, I have experienced situations that are typical of nervous, giddy, apprehensive blurts-outs by clients during fitting, training, etc.
> 
> The above question ranks as perhaps the silliest question asked during a slit-lamp evaluation, though!!!!


Actually, the optic nerve is not really a nerve, it is a tract.  Tracts are technically part of the brain.  So, when performing an internal examination of the eye you are observing _part_ of the brain.

----------


## Crickett13

When I first got into retail many years ago I had a lady come in with her daughter to pick up their glasses.  After we had adjusted the daughters pair she took the glasses and put them on and proceded to tell me they could not be right because she could not see out of them. I tried to explain that her Rx was very mild and that she was nearsighted and her had a stronger Rx and was farsighted but she wasn't having any of it. She became very agitated and started getting rather loud about how her daughters glasses could not be stronger than hers and she should be able to see out of them. After a few moments the doctor poped out of his office and after speaking with her he took the glasses and told me to send them back to the lab and have them take a wipe off the glasses. I was puzzled but took the glasses and waited while he walked her out of the store telling her that she could pick up the glasses in a week and they would be fixed. 

  Once she was gone the Doc told me put them on a shelf and call her back in a week and let me give them to her. Sure enough a week later she came back and the
glasses were fine. After she walked out the Doctor shook his head and said "Worst part is, she used to work here."

----------


## WFruit

> Hello all, I heard about this website from a member on my motorcycle forum and he says that i am currently making very little for an optician. I currently make $10/hr and am only part-time. I was offered the full-time position at our office and am wondering what would be a reasonable suggestion. On another note I am younger(21) and have been an optician since I was about 19 and will hopefully be ABOC in November. Any idea's would be greatly appreciated.


Admittedly, this was not asked to me personally, but I found it today.  I guess it's really more sad than anything else.

----------


## Striderswife

A coworker had a funny one this week.  She was doing Tonos on a child, and was holding his eyes open to take the measurement.  When she was done, he still had his eyes open as huge as he could.  She said "you can blink now," so he did, then kind of rubbed his eyes a little.  She asked if they were all dried out, and his response was "my eyes ran out of saliva!"  If this had been an adult, he would have gotten a real funny look.  But since it was a little boy, it's way cute.  :)

----------


## Spexvet

Why did these break?:hammer::hammer::hammer::angry:

----------


## Shwing

> Actually, the optic nerve is not really a nerve, it is a tract.  Tracts are technically part of the brain.  So, when performing an internal examination of the eye you are observing _part_ of the brain.


damn, beat me to it.

----------


## k12311997

you don't mind me coming in 5 minutes before you close and staying an hour after you close for me to decide to shop around do you?

----------


## kat

Had a lady once ask  me for a "full Spectrum" lens because she wanted to see like the chickens!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing after she left the office.

----------


## FVCCHRIS

> Had a lady once ask me for a "full Spectrum" lens because she wanted to see like the chickens!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing after she left the office.


I'd have those ready in about an hour. But they wouldn't be "chicken feed"!

----------


## Wes

2 in the same day. "Do you have strings?". And "when I put my glasses (zyl frames) on, my eyes water. Do you think I'm allergic?"
Oh, and 2 of our old favorite, "I thought these were scratch proof!"

----------


## Wes

Do you have non prescription contacts? Sorry, all contacts require an rx. 

I have rx for air optix night and day. Can I get av2s instead? No, just like I can't take my rx for cough syrup with codeine and get morphine... 

I once heard an "associate" tell a patient "come back tuesday, its the law".

----------


## gordmac

This is just a funny thing that happened to me
20 years ago I had a lady come into the shop with her script but could not read the name because the doctor's handwriting was very bad. So I ask her to spell her name for me and she did. I-M-A ( first name) H-O-A-R (last name). I said excuse me and rushed into the lab LOL.

----------


## Speed

I once had an optician call to question about a job we manufactured for him.  "When I turn them around and check them from the back side, one is perfectly on axis, however the other is way off axis, why?"  The RX axis called for one on 90 and the other on 80.

----------


## Spexvet

> I once had a *poorly trained or intellectually challenged* optician call to question about a job we manufactured for him. "When I turn them around and check them from the back side, one is perfectly on axis, however the other is way off axis, why?" The RX axis called for one on 90 and the other on 80.


Fixed that for ya.

----------


## Speed

> Fixed that for ya.


 No offense.  I do wonder what percentage we are talking about here. Least that guy had some imagination.  "Hmmm, I wonder how these would check if I turned them around this way?"

----------


## jpways

The wife of a patient (whose also a patient) sets an appointment today, she has Medicare and some secondary. I ask her if her husbands insurance is the same. She says no it's this A&B insurance. I ask her if it's a red white and blue card, she says yes. So it is Medicare, I say. No she insists, the patient just walked in, yep it's Medicare.

----------


## WFruit

account: why didn't you put the progressive marking back on the lenses we ordered?!?!?!!!

me (checking order): because they are straight top 28's......

----------


## musicvirtuoso

Good one: "My lenses feel squishy!"

----------


## leeshu

This happens at least once a month:  Someone calls my office in a panic and asks, "My eye is red.  Can you prescribe some eyedrops to cure it?"  

One of these days, I'm going to gather enough courage to say, "Sure!  Why don't you hold your eye really close to the receiver so I can take a good look at it?!"

----------


## Striderswife

> This happens at least once a month:  Someone calls my office in a panic and asks, "My eye is red.  Can you prescribe some eyedrops to cure it?"  
> 
> One of these days, I'm going to gather enough courage to say, "Sure!  Why don't you hold your eye really close to the receiver so I can take a good look at it?!"


Coming from an OD!  I love it!!  Thanks for chiming in, and Welcome to Optiboard!!  :D

----------


## bill8234

A customer complaining about her son's 'defective' contact lenses.  "He isn't doing anything wrong" to which my doctor replied.."Let's put the lenses in the case and see how long it takes for them to tear.  You understand we will be waiting quite a while don't you?"

----------


## WFruit

It wasn't a question....

But I was handed a tray with a grooved rimless pair in it; one lens was loose.  The note in the tray said "string too big."

----------


## uncut

> It wasn't a question....
> 
> But I was handed a tray with a grooved rimless pair in it; one lens was loose. The note in the tray said "string too big."


Better that......than "_lens too small_"!

----------


## duck fan

My favorite is after dispensing contacts to a patient, they call and ask, "Why are there stickers on my CL boxes with 'R' and 'L'? And how do I know which is the right lens and which is the left?"

----------


## Mizikal

[QUOTE=


Who's the guy that works for Wal-mart?  Had a couple of girls in here yesterday that swears WM sells contact lens on medicaid?  How does that work[/QUOTE]

We don't!

----------


## kcount

OK, not optical related but very possibly the stupidest question.

My fiancé (Sharon) is at the MD's office with annual school physicals for her kids, her ex is there also. The ex-husband asks if he's invited to our wedding too since the kids will be there.  Umm.... here's your sign.

We're still dumb founded.

----------


## uncut

> OK, not optical related but very possibly the stupidest question.
> 
> My fiancé (Sharon) is at the MD's office with annual school physicals for her kids, her ex is there also. The ex-husband asks if he's invited to our wedding too since the kids will be there. Umm.... here's your sign.
> 
> We're still dumb founded.


Sounds like if THE EX were a lens.........he'd be a CR-39!

----------


## Geirskogul

I love (hate) when they insist that the tonometer blows something other than air in their eyes.  "Last time I was in you blew water into my eyes and it stung for hours, I won't let you do that again!"  "Sorry, ma'am, there's nothing but air in here."

----------


## uncut

> I love (hate) when they insist that the tonometer blows something other than air in their eyes. "Last time I was in you blew water into my eyes and it stung for hours, I won't let you do that again!" "Sorry, ma'am, there's nothing but air in here."


Funny you should mention that.....I've been wondering what the substance was that I was seeing imbedded in corneas after eye exams!

----------


## Mizikal

I had a gentlemen come in a while back to get his RGPs polished. These things looked nasty. He told me he had them for 6 years and hardly even  took them out. We did our best to polish them but still could not get them looking any better. Well come to find out he had tried to clean them with a microfiber cloth! I told him we did the best we could I charged him whatever amount then he had the nerve to ask if we really did our best. I wanted to choke the guy.

----------


## optilady1

During a dispense last night, I asked my typical "How do they feel?".  After determining the adjustments I needed, and making them, I enter the "Are they tight enough?" territory.  My patient stands up, bends over so hit head is at his feet, the proceeds to jump up and down.  

After 14 years, this was new one for me.

----------


## opticianbart

> During a dispense last night, I asked my typical "How do they feel?". After determining the adjustments I needed, and making them, I enter the "Are they tight enough?" territory. My patient stands up, bends over so hit head is at his feet, the proceeds to jump up and down. 
> 
> After 14 years, this was new one for me.


I dunno, I usualy tell people to "stand up, look down, now headbang like it's the 80's"  although the children usually go "huh?"

----------


## optilady1

headbanging, yes.  always makes the little old ladies laugh.  this was more cirque du soleil mixed with grand mal seizures.

----------


## Striderswife

LOL!!!  Both those quotes are funny.  Headbanging.  Ahh, I'm feeling old.  :S

----------


## astalavistadear

the most riduculous... can u increase the power by a bit in the orginal lenses of my reading glasses

----------


## uncut

> the most riduculous... can u increase the power by a bit in the orginal lenses of my reading glasses


Welcome astalavistadear!  You must have encountered someone who is older, and remembers that changes of up to .50 diopters could be ground into glass edged lenses.....This was truly a skill relegated to only the craftsmen in the laboratory, but it was done!  Today's high speed equipment cannot do this, and the skill is lacking, the materials used make it impossible, but it was done!

Consider this....what a wonderful way to reduce, reuse, and recycle...our grandparents, and parents were much kinder to the environment.

----------


## optilady1

> Consider this....what a wonderful way to reduce, reuse, and recycle...our grandparents, and parents were much kinder to the environment.


This gave me a good chuckle.  My grandparents were the opitome of reduce, reuse and recycle.  Every morning for about 30 years, they went to Bess Eaton to have coffee.  After finishing, my grandmother would take the styrofoam cups home, and save them to plant all her seedlings in when spring came around.  We didn't throw away used napkins or paper towels, we folded them up and used them to wipe the plates before we cleaned them to save their septic system.  They routinely went to the dump and found many treasures; one such being a 4 foot tall spool of nylon 'fabric', for better word.  You couldn't tear or rip that stuff, it would servive a nuclear blast, and they used it for EVERYTHING.  Strips were used to tie any and everything, and my mother actually made me a skirt out of the material for a school play.  Oddly enough, it never occured to them the do this for the environment, just to be good stewards of what they had and were given.

----------


## Opticianjw

An old guy says can tighten my glasses, every time I go to the bathroom they fall into the toilet bowl. I jokingly  asked, before you go or after, he says usually while I am going. I said well than look up until your done and never flush until you move away. He says thanks for the advise.

----------


## loose-screw

I think the best question I was asked.
a gentelman walked in to my store handed me his glasses and asked " can you check my glasses I think the medicine in them has run out".
like a true pro I neutralized the glasses and told him the medicine was still there, but in a year he needs to come back for a check up and to make sure the medicine was still good. Not my proudest moment but hey.

----------


## Spexvet

Here's a different one that I overheard. A grey haired man brought his mother in, and filled out her patient information sheet. The receptionist verified her date of birth: "11-1-08. Is that _19_08?" 

No, the old gal is only two years old!

----------


## optilady1

Conversation between me and pt today:

pt (80 year old lady)- No, I don't want the disposable contacts.  This just seems to be a waste of money.
Me (fantastically stylish 31 year old optician)- Well, yearly lenses can cost alot when you think about the price of cleaner, enzyme cleaners, disinfectant....
pt: no, no.  I just use the multipurpose cleaner.  
Me: But ma'm, that doesn't do a great job on your 5 year old CSI lenses.  
pt: well, I've been wearing contacts since 1986, and I'm sure that these are fine.  I've been getting them from online contacts.com (me-huh?).  You just tell me what prescription I need for monovision, tennis, and driving, and I'll order through them.
Me: (##@*!!!)  Ma'm, you need to have a re-fit....etc. etc. etc.

What was I thinking, this isn't even a weird conversation.  Why am I even posting it?  I guess I had to vent a little.

----------


## Ory

> Here's a different one that I overheard. A grey haired man brought his mother in, and filled out her patient information sheet. The receptionist verified her date of birth: "11-1-08. Is that _19_08?" 
> 
> No, the old gal is only two years old!


 Or they meant 1808 and she's 202 years old.  Turtles live that long, right?

----------


## UFRich

I think the one that annoys me the most is this:

Fairly busy practice and I remember faces but not names very well.  Patient walks and and announces they are here to pick up their glasses and sits down in front of me and says nothing else.  One day I am going to reach in the cabinet and give them the first pair I grab.  TELL ME YOUR NAME!!!

----------


## Striderswife

> I think the one that annoys me the most is this:
> 
> Fairly busy practice and I remember faces but not names very well. Patient walks and and announces they are here to pick up their glasses and sits down in front of me and says nothing else. One day I am going to reach in the cabinet and give them the first pair I grab. TELL ME YOUR NAME!!!


This is exactly how I work.  I will remember a patient and the glasses we chose together, for probably the next five years.  But sometimes, by the time I walk my pt to the check out desk, I've forgotten their name.  A lot of times, it's the kiddos that sit down at the desk, I ask their name, and they reply with "Logan," or "Payton," or "Sara."

----------


## bob_f_aboc

> This is exactly how I work. I will remember a patient and the glasses we chose together, for probably the next five years. But sometimes, by the time I walk my pt to the check out desk, I've forgotten their name. A lot of times, it's the kiddos that sit down at the desk, I ask their name, and they reply with "Logan," or "Payton," or "Sara."


Try 'Peighton' or 'Carleigh'...I don't get the new/improved spellings.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

Johns had a good one once: 
La-a

Was pronounced "Ladasha"

Sheesh!

----------


## opticianbart

> Johns had a good one once: 
> La-a
> 
> Was pronounced "Ladasha"
> 
> Sheesh!


Wasn't that me? cause I know we have one of those at our store.

----------


## DragonLensmanWV

> Wasn't that me? cause I know we have one of those at our store.



OMG! It's spreading!! Johns had told us about that at the last Un-Expo.
I plugged it into Google and there's a Facebook page for one of 'em.

----------


## opticianbart

> OMG! It's spreading!! Johns had told us about that at the last Un-Expo.
> I plugged it into Google and there's a Facebook page for one of 'em.


We cringed when were told how to pronounce the name by an annoyed parent. Although keep in mind that our store also has a brother and sister named "Million" and "Billion," so we're pretty used to crazy names.

----------


## NCspecs

My favorite pt name ever was AquaNetta. Seriously. 

Just recently we had a pt of ours call to make an appointment for his mother. We were checking on her insurance and found we didn't take her plan. The sweet girl at the front desk brightly offered the discount on the exam that we give pt's when they don't have vision insurance. The guy making the appointment then asked, "Well, what is the price if she is african-american and 83 years old?"


..........crickets.................:drop:

----------


## MarySue

> An old guy says can tighten my glasses, every time I go to the bathroom they fall into the toilet bowl. I jokingly  asked, before you go or after, he says usually while I am going. I said well than look up until your done and never flush until you move away. He says thanks for the advise.


Did you adjust his glasses so they wouldn't fall off regardless of where he was?

----------


## MarySue

> I think the best question I was asked.
> a gentelman walked in to my store handed me his glasses and asked " can you check my glasses I think the medicine in them has run out".
> like a true pro I neutralized the glasses and told him the medicine was still there, but in a year he needs to come back for a check up and to make sure the medicine was still good. Not my proudest moment but hey.


Brilliant - you didn't make the client feel like an idiot, and you didn't fall of the floor laughing.  Well done

----------


## MarySue

> Johns had a good one once: 
> La-a
> 
> Was pronounced "Ladasha"
> 
> Sheesh!


When talking about names, a friend was doing rounds at the hospital (radiographer) and she overheard the nurses telling a story of a woman who had just given birth to a baby girl.  The mother saw the bracelet on the babies arm and thanked the nurses for naming the child - saying it was a beautiful name ... she pronounced it faymolly (spelled-female)

----------


## Jeep-Power

I'm only on the 210th post in this thread, but have to share this one-



 I had a quirky lady demand I re-make her S.V +2.00 sph reading lenses, 6 months later,  out of poly (instead of the more affordable, more scratch resistant & better optical quality CR-39) because the CR-39 lenses were_ too_ clear-- that she saw _too_ well. LOL!

I had another lady who asked me, with her teenage daughter sitting at her side,  if our OD was able to refract people who "saw more than other people", referring to herself. I was quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond. I asked her what more she saw. She then goes on to tell me that she is psychic & she can 'see things before they happen' and therefore needs a special eye doctor who specializes in folks like her. I committed to call my OD & get back to her. I did later that day, apologizing that he does not specialize in this type of refraction. 

The OD & I had a good laugh about that one.

----------


## AngeHamm

Um, WOW.

----------


## NCspecs

> I'm only on the 210th post in this thread, but have to share this one-
> 
> 
> 
> I had a quirky lady demand I re-make her S.V +2.00 sph reading lenses, 6 months later, out of poly (instead of the more affordable, more scratch resistant & better optical quality CR-39) because the CR-39 lenses were_ too_ clear-- that she saw _too_ well. LOL!
> 
> I had another lady who asked me, with her teenage daughter sitting at her side, if our OD was able to refract people who "saw more than other people", referring to herself. I was quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond. I asked her what more she saw. She then goes on to tell me that she is psychic & she can 'see things before they happen' and therefore needs a special eye doctor who specializes in folks like her. I committed to call my OD & get back to her. I did later that day, apologizing that he does not specialize in this type of refraction. 
> 
> The OD & I had a good laugh about that one.


Did you ask her what the week's lottery numbers were?

----------


## optilady1

This is more silly than stupid, but where else am I gonna post it?

My husband just told me that if he had picked an OB name for me, it would have been 'Dances with Frames' instead of Optilady1. 
I have to say that made me laugh.

----------


## Geirskogul

Had a lady tell us that the police were after her husband's head, because she was 700 years old and had ESP.  During the call when she said that she was 700 years old I snorted a bit, and she asked if I was laughing at her.  I told her that I was just having a cough and she told me to drink some water because the latest flu "planted by the gubernment" was going around.  She waited for me to drink before she would continue.  Also asked if our doctor could to exams on people with ESP.

Her exam and dispense were...interesting.  Very happy one moment and crazy yelling the next.  If it were me I wouldn't have had her as a patient whatsoever, but corporations, ah?

----------


## MarySue

> Had a lady tell us that the police were after her husband's head, because she was 700 years old and had ESP.  During the call when she said that she was 700 years old I snorted a bit, and she asked if I was laughing at her.  I told her that I was just having a cough and she told me to drink some water because the latest flu "planted by the gubernment" was going around.  She waited for me to drink before she would continue.  Also asked if our doctor could to exams on people with ESP.
> 
> Her exam and dispense were...interesting.  Very happy one moment and crazy yelling the next.  If it were me I wouldn't have had her as a patient whatsoever, but corporations, ah?


How sad ... I really feel sorry for her, probably schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is described mental disorder which disintegrates the thinking process and emotional response - ability to connect. Although it didn't sound like she was hallucinating - schizophrenics can have paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking,.  They are definitely socially and occupationally disabled because of this. 

Times like those you want to laugh and cry at the same moment - well done on you for doing your job and not turning her away.  Too bad optometrists and opticians can't refer px's to mental health - imagine how great life would be then!!!

----------


## Hollybabette

When a patient actually asked me why their lenses fogged, when coming out of a cold temperature into a warm temperature.  Really?  Really?

----------


## Geirskogul

Last year she was fit as a fiddle.  12 months can change a lot.

----------


## edKENdance

Just had an older gentleman come in. He's been walking around wearing one lens in his frame after cataract surgery. He had the other eye operated on and was in to have the other lens removed so he could see. Um, sir, you don't need to wear the glasses if you don't need lenses in them.

----------


## MarySue

Take your meds .... take your meds ... :)  --- 12 months is a quick change!

----------


## optilady1

> Just had an older gentleman come in. He's been walking around wearing one lens in his frame after cataract surgery. He had the other eye operated on and was in to have the other lens removed so he could see. Um, sir, you don't need to wear the glasses if you don't need lenses in them.


HeHe...Sounds like something I would do when I become a little more seasoned.

----------


## optilady1

So just one minute ago, a patient calls to schedule appt.  Then asks my receptionist, "My friend has flashers and floaters that are so bad, she can't get out of bed.  What do you think they are?"  so my receptionist calmly replies they could many things but you want to rule out anything with the retina.  So pt says, "Well, what should I do?"  We tell her to call our other location because our Dr is already gone, and we have 4 others in the other office.  

And the patients says...... Drumroll please.......

"Well, she's in South Carolina, so..."

So why are you calling Connecticut!!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## optilady1

ARgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Ok, this lady just walks in to my office.  She states, "I'm an old patient from about 5 years ago.  I need to see the doctor, I PUNCTURED my eye with a stick."
Us, "Oh, well the doctor is in the other office, you should go their or an ER".
Her, "oh, that's ok, I'll just wait.  That's so far"

OMFG.

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> ARgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.
> 
> Ok, this lady just walks in to my office.  She states, "I'm an old patient from about 5 years ago.  I need to see the doctor, I PUNCTURED my eye with a stick."
> Us, "Oh, well the doctor is in the other office, you should go their or an ER".
> Her, "oh, that's ok, I'll just wait.  That's so far"
> 
> OMFG.


Sounds like you get some doozies!! :bbg:

----------


## harry a saake

Just today, phone rings, and i answer and say hello XYZ optical, how may  i help you

Lady says, can you transfer me to belk optical

----------


## NCspecs

> Just today, phone rings, and i answer and say hello XYZ optical, how may i help you
> 
> Lady says, can you transfer me to belk optical


 
Niiiice, yeah, because we are all linked. 

I just had a great call from a lady who asked me to find out what insurance she was covered under. I knew she worked for B of A so I quickly found she was EyeMed. She then asks, "Ookay, well if I go to Costo for my lenses, how does that work?" :hammer:

She then proceeds to tell me that the last Dr. she went to ripped her off and charged her 80 dollars when she CLEARLY had coverage. I asked her, "Well, did you TELL them you had EyeMed for your vision coverage?" She then says, "Oh, yeah. I guess I should have told them that. :hammer:

----------


## Jana Lewis

> Niiiice, yeah, because we are all linked. 
> 
> I just had a great call from a lady who asked me to find out what insurance she was covered under. I knew she worked for B of A so I quickly found she was EyeMed. She then asks, "Ookay, well if I go to Costo for my lenses, how does that work?" :hammer:
> 
> She then proceeds to tell me that the last Dr. she went to ripped her off and charged her 80 dollars when she CLEARLY had coverage. I asked her, "Well, did you TELL them you had EyeMed for your vision coverage?" She then says, "Oh, yeah. I guess I should have told them that. :hammer:


love it when people ask me how much costco/LC/Wally worlds lenses cost. I mean really... does it look like I work there?

----------


## NCspecs

> love it when people ask me how much costco/LC/Wally worlds lenses cost. I mean really... does it look like I work there?


I just hate that phrase, "How does it work?" How does WHAT work? What are you trying to ask me? I can't help you if you don't articulate!

----------


## optilady1

My favorite is when people show up in my dispensary, sit down and look at me.  I look back. They stare....and then say "I'm here".

Who the heck are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## KStraker

As I was pretesting a patient on the auto, she asks if it measures her "pubic distance". I just said yes and kept going.

----------


## pezfaerie

> As I was pretesting a patient on the auto, she asks if it measures her "pubic distance". I just said yes and kept going.


That's got be an intresting looking machine...lol

----------


## optilady1

I think we should just rename this thread stupid people.

Had a patient come in, mid 50's, to pick up his new glasses.  I had taken the original order; he had instucted me to call his cell phone when they came in.  Fine.  So job was finished, I'm guessing our receptionist calls him to let him know the job's in.  

Yesterday he comes in to pick it up.  Starts talking very sternly to me.  "I received a message on my cell, and then they called my home.  My wife answered, and I got in trouble."

What could I say?  It's not like he forbid me from calling, I asked what was the best number to call, and he gave me his cell.  Good grief!!!!

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

I would have said, "Sir, if you get into trouble because you bought a pair of glasses..then you have more issues in your marriage than you think." :bbg:

I had a similar case before. I called, the wife answered and I got the typical "No he's not here but THIS is his WIFE..WHO is this?" I stated who I was and she said, "I want to know why you're calling my husband" I then said, "Ma'am. I'm just calling to let your husband know that his eyeglasses have arrived and they need to be picked up" Patient says, "He bought WHAT?" I then said, "Thank you ma'am..have a great day" and hung up :bbg: Hey..what you tell (or not tell) your wife isn't my problem!!  :Nerd:

----------


## KStraker

> I would have said, "Sir, if you get into trouble because you bought a pair of glasses..then you have more issues in your marriage than you think." :bbg:
> 
> I had a similar case before. I called, the wife answered and I got the typical "No he's not here but THIS is his WIFE..WHO is this?" I stated who I was and she said, "I want to know why you're calling my husband" I then said, "Ma'am. I'm just calling to let your husband know that his eyeglasses have arrived and they need to be picked up" Patient says, "He bought WHAT?" I then said, "Thank you ma'am..have a great day" and hung up :bbg: Hey..what you tell (or not tell) your wife isn't my problem!!


When I call to tell someone that there glasses are ready, I try to keep it as simple as possible. I deliver a simple statement. "Hello, this is _____, at _______. I called to inform you that ______'s glasses are ready."  Do yourself a favor and ask as few questions as possible, especially if you have a big stack to call.

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> When I call to tell someone that there glasses are ready, I try to keep it as simple as possible. I deliver a simple statement. "Hello, this is _____, at _______. I called to inform you that ______'s glasses are ready."  Do yourself a favor and ask as few questions as possible, especially if you have a big stack to call.


The thing is..I do. In this particular case, I said who I was and what office I was calling from and then that's when she went on her rampage. I do all the reminder phone calls and I say the same thing.

----------


## cwinma

"Do you guys charge for an eye exam"

----------


## abberated

My Favorite...

"Dese Glasses are NO GOOD!  Every time I step on them...THEY BROKEN!!"  He exclaimed while throwing the pieces on the bench.

----------


## thiaeyemd

When the lights are out, I feel things are pretty dark. Is that normal?

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

I think it's a full moon today...

"I'm using my reading glasses to see on the computer and I can't see...why is that?" 1st patient of the day..
"When I look under my glasses, it's blurry.." 2nd patient of the day..
"I'm looking at my prescription and it didn't change that much, or at least it appears that way. Why am I getting new glasses" 3rd patient of the day that was looking at an RX from 5 years ago when he should have been looking at the RX we gave him 3 days ago. 
"I have this pair of drill mounts I bought from you guys. I took them off, put them on the back bumper of the car and now I can't seem to find them. Can you warranty that?" 4th patient that I just got off the phone with..

H E L L O?!?!?!?! Sometimes I literally want to ask the patient, "Did you just hear yourself talk??" 

Is it 5:30..or better yet..is it the weekend?

----------


## Yellow

Several times a week I get someone wondering why their vision isn't improved when they try the frames on... So I thought to remedy this by taking the demos out of the budget end of the frames. They are still saying... I can't see! Why don't the glasses make me see! I just can't win no matter what I do!

----------


## duck fan

> Several times a week I get someone wondering why their vision isn't improved when they try the frames on... So I thought to remedy this by taking the demos out of the budget end of the frames. They are still saying... I can't see! Why don't the glasses make me see! I just can't win no matter what I do!


 
14 years in this industry and that still makes me laugh when it happens...

----------


## optilady1

Had a contact lens fit with an 80 year old woman who has been wearing the same CSI lenses for about 5 years.  She comes into my exam room and states, "I've switched my right and left lenses, because I want my mono vision to be in the opposite eye."  She then went on to tell my how she worried and stressed over the diopters in her contacts and wasn't sure what the right numbers should be.  There was nothing I could say that would convince her the only part of this exam that was on her shoulders was paying me, that it was the Dr and I who would figure out her rx.  This of course was not good enough.  She was convinced that the reason she couldn't see in the distance was the fact that she needed more diopters.  

I finally convinced her to just 'try' on the CLs to see the fit.  Don't worry about the vision.  The fact that she was scared that the lenses weren't tinted enough to see when she dropped them on the floor or if they dried up she would be able to find them.

SCARY

So, I finally check her vision, and low and behold, she could SEE through the brand new non five year old lenses.  AMAZING.  And then she couldn't BELIEVE she could read up close with them, even though with her old lenses that she had swapped eye for eye she still needed her +4.00 readers to see with.  

Strange what contacts without five years worth of built up hardened protein can do.  Even wierder that I was able to teach an old dog a new trick.

----------


## musicevangelist

> Several times a week I get someone wondering why their vision isn't improved when they try the frames on... So I thought to remedy this by taking the demos out of the budget end of the frames. They are still saying... I can't see! Why don't the glasses make me see! I just can't win no matter what I do!


 I feel your pain and know exactly the customers you are talking about.  We get a few of them too.  My suggestion, find a colleague from another store and go to the pub with them.  Great solution for Wednesday night issues.

Many of the patients in this thread have come into my store I am sure of it.  However, some of them do seem like technical things that seem obvious to us in the industry but would not be to the general public.

In the silly staff category I have a staff member who injured themself getting things off a high shelf.  They fell...from a chair...with wheels...when a ladder was 3 feet away.

Please engage brain before coming to work.

----------


## AngeHamm

> Please engage brain before coming to work.


Not to mention before going to the doctor.

----------


## NCspecs

> I feel your pain and know exactly the customers you are talking about. We get a few of them too. *My suggestion, find a colleague from another store and go to the pub with them. Great solution for Wednesday night issues*.


I like the way you think. Would you please write me an rx for that?:cheers:

----------


## musicevangelist

> I like the way you think. Would you please write me an rx for that?:cheers:


Please consult your healthcare professional before following this mental health plan. :)

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> Please consult your healthcare professional before following this mental health plan. :)


Why consult a healthcare professional when you can search medical forums and get "professional" advice there? :bbg:

----------


## Yellow

If I can recall she had high heels on too!

Keen again next wed?

----------


## musicevangelist

> Why consult a healthcare professional when you can search medical forums and get "professional" advice there? :bbg:


Fair enough, if symptoms persist, consult more barmen :p

Yellow, I think that could work.

----------


## optilady1

I just had a patient come in who wanted to have me put his most recent rx lenses into a new frame because when he updated his rx last year, he didn't like the new one.  So, instead of having the dr recheck him, he popped his new lenses out, and put his old lenses back into the old frame.  He's been saving them this whole time.  Now he wants a new frame that 1.) fits his old lenses 2.) doesn't cost a fortune, and 3.) also fits the magnetic clip that he has from the original frame.  

I tried to explain that he would need to purchase the exact frame that went with the clip, since it wouldn't fit otherwise, but he argued with me that the clip had the magnets, any frame would do, all it needed to do was fit the lenses, bla bla bla.  He then picked up a frame, tried to attach the clip to it, and of course, it fell off.  After re-explaining the situation, he politely replied, "I'll just wait until my eyes grow into the new lenses, then I'll have you put the new lenses into this frame."

----------


## fullclout

Patient shows me the 2 pairs she's wearing currently: "These are my seein' glasses, and these are for every day."

----------


## tsmith

And then there's the patient who wants us to write a letter to the DMV because her "vision is so bad she needs a handicapped sticker"...

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> And then there's the patient who wants us to write a letter to the DMV because her "vision is so bad she needs a handicapped sticker"...


Had a random patient walk into the office and ask me that the other day actually. Showed her to the front desk and told her she needs to make an appointment, just as she would have to at a doctors office for a prescription.

----------


## Java99

Why won't the doctor just write the rx with the numbers I told him to?  I'd be able to see if he had!

----------


## chryslace

> I can't believe it. All of these professional opticians and nobody has mentioned the best one of all..... How much is a screw?


HAHAHAHAHA! We have an older, female optician in our office who asks them' "Have we serviced you before?" I giggle everytime.

----------


## chryslace

In the shop where I work it can get REALLY busy so we have a sign in board to make sure we don't skip any patients. We also use it to track all time and what we can do to improve on wait times, so regardless we have every patient sign in on the board and what they are in for.

The will be completely empty with not one patient in site and the clip board will have patients names blacked out stating that they have been taken, and six opticians at there desks waiting and the patient (mind you, in the COMPLETELY EMPTY optical shop) will be signing in and looks up at me and says, "how long will I have to wait to be seen?" 
Foreal? Sometimes I just want to say, "well seing as you are the only one in here, i'm assuming, right away!" Derr..

----------


## chip anderson

I know a very fine ophthalmologist who is a little naive when it comes to non  eye things, who often remarks to his assistant: "My she has deep cups."

----------


## NCspecs

> I know a very fine ophthalmologist who is a little naive when it comes to non eye things, who often remarks to his assistant: "My she has deep cups."


Hah!

We had a work meeting recently and the 2 doctors in our office were going over Glaucoma as we like to have talk for each meeting regarding different maladies of the eye. One of the Dr's, a very pretty, sweet, single woman, was trying to explain how she sometime felt people pressures just by placing her thumbs over their closed eyes. One of the Opticians piped up that she couldn't understand how you could feel anything different. The Dr. promply replied, "Thats because you haven't felt a hard one!"

We all had a good laugh over that!

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> Hah!
> 
> We had a work meeting recently and the 2 doctors in our office were going over Glaucoma as we like to have talk for each meeting regarding different maladies of the eye. One of the Dr's, a very pretty, sweet, single woman, was trying to explain how she sometime felt people pressures just by placing her thumbs over their closed eyes. One of the Opticians piped up that she couldn't understand how you could feel anything different. The Dr. promply replied, "Thats because you haven't felt a hard one!"
> 
> We all had a good laugh over that!


That's what she said :bbg:

----------


## Spexvet

Is there a prescription in the clip-on sunglasses?

----------


## landzk7tza

I heard this: *can u change my eye pads, plz?*

----------


## optilady1

Another first:

pt to me: Now that I'm used to the better progressives that are easier to get adjust to, should I get the worse progressives?

----------


## AngeHamm

> Another first:
> 
> pt to me: Now that I'm used to the better progressives that are easier to get adjust to, should I get the worse progressives?


I just died inside.

----------


## ptcare

I took the patient's eyewear to read the Rx before the exam. She came running over yelling "wait, wait, don't take the prescription of my glasses, I'll need them to see while my new ones are on order"

----------


## ptcare

At the front desk the patient asked me to write down a place where he could "get this Cadillacs removed"
Tough to keep a straight face!

----------


## k12311997

> I took the patient's eyewear to read the Rx before the exam. She came running over yelling "wait, wait, don't take the prescription of my glasses, I'll need them to see while my new ones are on order"


.


.:drop:.

----------


## rdcoach5

> Another first:
> 
> pt to me: Now that I'm used to the better progressives that are easier to get adjust to, should I get the worse progressives?


That's not a real question IMHO

----------


## WFruit

I had an account ask me today if we can do a non-reflective mirror coating...... yes, they meant mirror and not A/R.

----------


## optilady1

The other day I got asked what sunglasses are.  Pt wanted to know if you could see out of them or if the blocked all vision.  She was concerned she wouldn't be about to drive.

----------


## Wes

Some people are just too stupid to reproduce. And to think I get funny looks when I suggest that a license should be required to procreate. I'm telling you, we have halted evolution in its tracks and have begun the reversal.

----------


## Java99

Not really a question, but this set the baseline for my day: "Just because I'd had a little too much to drink before my eye exam doesn't explain why I can't see out of my glasses sober."

Oh yes, yes it does.

----------


## chip anderson

Then there was a  lady that came in to redeem a bounced check she had given me after months.   She got really indignant when I wouldn't take a check to redeem the bounced check.
She also had been a customer for over 20 years and never came back.

Chip

----------


## gunner05

Dude, that is out there.  Not sure what it is, but it is somewhere.  The drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket has a pair on some of his history channel shows.

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

Had a patient call today. Purchased a SV pair of distance only glasses in December and said "I can't use these for reading". So I'm looking in her chart and it was notated that she wanted SV distance only because she could not afford the bifocal. I said that she bought them in December but she's just now calling and bringing this to our attention? She stated "Well this is the 1st time I have put them on" Ok soooo you couldn't afford multifocal glasses but you blew money on SV lenses that you told us you wanted and you have never worn them until now. Told the patient we can certainly re-do them but she'd have to pay the difference and naturally I get the "I want my RX because I'm going somewhere else". 

You cannot call a car dealership and say "I wanted a sunroof on my car" 4 months later because you never noticed it before and expect to get one installed for free. 

I honestly wonder how people get through a day..

----------


## optilady1

> Had a patient call today. Purchased a SV pair of distance only glasses in December and said "I can't use these for reading". So I'm looking in her chart and it was notated that she wanted SV distance only because she could not afford the bifocal. I said that she bought them in December but she's just now calling and bringing this to our attention? She stated "Well this is the 1st time I have put them on" Ok soooo you couldn't afford multifocal glasses but you blew money on SV lenses that you told us you wanted and you have never worn them until now. Told the patient we can certainly re-do them but she'd have to pay the difference and naturally I get the "I want my RX because I'm going somewhere else". 
> 
> You cannot call a car dealership and say "I wanted a sunroof on my car" 4 months later because you never noticed it before and expect to get one installed for free. 
> 
> I honestly wonder how people get through a day..


This is so annoying to me.  Specially when they come in a YEAR later to get new lenses, and I say, "Well, you had a ... last time, is that what you want again?"  And they whine and say, no, I never liked it.  Why didn't you say something?  I try really hard to let everyone know when they are leaving to let me know if you are having any trouble.  I guess they assume I won't fix it for them.  
Of course the flip side is when pts come in after a few months enraged because their nose pads cracked due to  the formaldahyde that they've painted onto their skin in the form of makeup has caked up on their frame, and they can not believe that such a travesty could happen.

----------


## gmc

I had a lady in a few days ago for an adjustment with a very thin, flimsy frame. She complained that they were always getting out of adjustment. She asked if I had a fortifier I could put on it. I told her that I didn't know what she meant. She said "You know, something to make them stronger so they don't have to be adjusted all the time."

That was a new one on me. Maybe Hilco has something.....

----------


## AngeHamm

This thread just keeps getting stranger and stranger.

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> I had a lady in a few days ago for an adjustment with a very thin, flimsy frame. She complained that they were always getting out of adjustment. She asked if I had a fortifier I could put on it. I told her that I didn't know what she meant. She said "You know, something to make them stronger so they don't have to be adjusted all the time."
> 
> That was a new one on me. Maybe Hilco has something.....


Or maybe she shouldn't get a very flimsy frame and expect them to never be adjusted. Kind of like the patients that get Titan X Silhouette frames and get upset when they have to come in every 3 days because they are all out of adjustments..

Sometimes patients ask me bizarre questions and I probably give them the deer in the headlight look because I honestly don't know what to say to them. I realize that patients don't know everything about optical but come on..some of the things being asked are ridiculous! :hammer:

----------


## Wes

"Excuse me. My legs are loose. Do you think I need a new screw?"

----------


## AngeHamm

> "Excuse me. My legs are loose. Do you think I need a new screw?"


Giggity. I think a new screw is more likely to increase, rather than decrease, your looseness. Hey-o!

----------


## NeGlassesGirl27

> "Excuse me. My legs are loose. Do you think I need a new screw?"


That's what she said :bbg:

----------


## optilady1

I got asked today if I had any experience today, If I had just started working in this field, and if I what I was doing was beyond the scope of my knowledge.

----------


## Wes

> I got asked today if I had any experience today, If I had just started working in this field, and if I what I was doing was beyond the scope of my knowledge.


I get that from time to time, esp considering the location and clientele, so I expect a bit of skepticism.  Answers vary.  Sometimes I ask if the person would like someone else to help them (esp. if the "questioner" is smelly or otherwise unpleasant).  Sometimes I tell them I went to school for opticianry.  Sometimes I tell them I have a 17 yr old daughter and I've been_  MAKING_ glasses since before she was born (I look young for my age).  Sometimes I tell them that I work full time in a lab MAKING (not just selling) glasses, and the dispensary is a part-time gig.  Sometimes I  say "well, there are three Master Opticians in the state.  I'm one of them.  You decide."  Sometimes it's some combination of those.  I would think the wall of licenses and certifications with my name on them (or alphabet soup as someone on here put it) would at least dispel ideas that I'm a complete rookie, but a lot of people somehow seem to miss it.  Tis the nature of the beast.

----------


## optilady1

> I get that from time to time, esp considering the location and clientele, so I expect a bit of skepticism.  Answers vary.  Sometimes I ask if the person would like someone else to help them (esp. if the "questioner" is smelly or otherwise unpleasant).  Sometimes I tell them I went to school for opticianry.  Sometimes I tell them I have a 17 yr old daughter and I've been_  MAKING_ glasses since before she was born (I look young for my age).  Sometimes I tell them that I work full time in a lab MAKING (not just selling) glasses, and the dispensary is a part-time gig.  Sometimes I  say "well, there are three Master Opticians in the state.  I'm one of them.  You decide."  Sometimes it's some combination of those.  I would think the wall of licenses and certifications with my name on them (or alphabet soup as someone on here put it) would at least dispel ideas that I'm a complete rookie, but a lot of people somehow seem to miss it.  Tis the nature of the beast.


yeah, it's been awhile since I've been asked a question like this.  I do look young, coupled with the whole girl thing, plus I tend to be a little on the overly bubbly side.  However, as we all know here on OB, there are times when a patient puts on a pair of glasses that are 100% correct per the rx and measurements, and a pt can't see out of them.  Today was one of those situations, and I guess I wasn't on my A game, so I didn't have some fantastic canned response for him.  Plus I've got a mean sinus thing going, and my eyes are all watery, so he probably thought he was making me cry.  

I thought of my response to him.  A couple years ago I probably would have mentioned my education or my years of experience, but I just shrugged and said, "yeah, I've been doing this for awhile."  He wouldn't have seen me for anything other than a young girl, which I am.  I'm just so used to charming my patients most of the time, but today just wasn't my day.  He told me that all my reasons for not being happy with his glasses were just excuses, so I say "What-ev, yo."

----------


## optilady1

so...Which of these glasses have my prescription in them?  

Asked by a very perky blond 20 something while looking at my board of frames.

----------


## k12311997

did you get her number for me, I bet I can convice her I'm Charlie Sheen.

----------


## NCspecs

I absolutely HAD to ressurect this thread today!

A (not elderly) lady called this morning in a panic. "My eye is all red and itchy and painful. I think my cataract is irritating me because it's ripe! Dr. H gave me me an antibiotic for it but it won't go away."

Bless your heart, but don't you know google is your friend?

----------


## SharonB

I have also enjoyed this thread again - my story is from 1972 - VERY elderly patient came in complaining that her glasses gave her lumps on her pubic bone, and then hiked up her skirt, and downed her underpants to show me. I was without words.

----------


## Hardworlder

> If a patient hands me a new rx and I see they are wearing progressive lenses, I'll ask them if they want no line bifocals again (they have no idea what progressive lenses are).  They will say, "but I wear trifocals."


Every damn time, haha.  That or they say "Transitions" when they mean "progressive," but that is understandable, just a matter of synonyms :P

----------


## optilady1

> I have also enjoyed this thread again - my story is from 1972 - VERY elderly patient came in complaining that her glasses gave her lumps on her pubic bone, and then hiked up her skirt, and downed her underpants to show me. I was without words.




WHAT?

You win.  Hands down.  And apparently pants down too.

----------


## NCspecs

> I have also enjoyed this thread again - my story is from 1972 - VERY elderly patient came in complaining that her glasses gave her lumps on her pubic bone, and then hiked up her skirt, and downed her underpants to show me. I was without words.









> WHAT?
> 
> You win. Hands down. And apparently pants down too.


Holy Crap!

----------


## Wes

"When are you getting married?"

----------


## Arsenal

> "When are you getting married?"


Funny.  Or:
"Do you feel like hanging out with me tonight, if I promise not to go psycho?"

----------


## CCGREEN

> I have also enjoyed this thread again - my story is from 1972 - VERY elderly patient came in complaining that her glasses gave her lumps on her pubic bone, and then hiked up her skirt, and downed her underpants to show me. I was without words.




OH MY MY MY!
Lost for words on that one.

----------


## optilady1

Studpidest thing my patient did:  Got a call from my local LC, calling to confirm patients last exam date.  Seems she crossed out and wrote a new date, in pencil, over the ink one that I wrote for her back in january of 2010.

----------


## LLano

"no!, mine are no line trifocals, NOT bifocals!!"

"Y'all sell transistor lenses"

$99 complete pair sign out front....... "which ones are the .99 cent glasses?"

Or my personal fav..... "do you carry Chanel?............how bout Medicaid?

Also had a older gentleman describe his stool to me i a very thick southern accent and asked what my thoughts on his latest BM and how it related to his eyes??? I stopped wearing a lab coat out front after that.

----------


## chip anderson

Well were his eyes blue or* brown*?

----------


## Kara

This one came from a very young new optician that they apparently pulled right in off the streets.

 "Hey, What are transitions?"
I explain to her.
"So they're like magic?"
*sigh* yes, I bewitch all of my lenses before they pass final inspection.

This is not optical related, but it made me laugh. I ordered food from Taco Bell and asked them not to put any vegetables on my food.

Employee-" Ok that's blah blah blah, not vegetables. Would you like me to add lettuce to those?"

That's right I forgot lettuce was considered a meat.


haha.

----------


## EyeManFla

'Will 9.00 an hour be enough" ????????

----------


## Freebird

I had a guy come into my store one day to have his glasses adjusted.  It was an easy fix, but while I was straightening out the temple, I noticed that the person who had dispensed them to him had never clipped off the self-tapping screws.  I took the initiative and clipped them off.  

Well, when I went out to give them back to him, he started to press the temples close to his head while looking around the room, as if he was listening for something.  A few moments later, after a bit more prodding at his temples, he removed the glasses and was aghast.  He cried out, "You cut off my antennas!!"

Stunned, I stammered back to him that I could put new ones on, which appeased this gentleman.  When I came back again with new un-clipped screws, he told me that he could pick up radio signals, and that the new antennas would take a little time to tune to the right frequency....

He thanked me and went on home.



I wish folks like that would come in wearing tinfoil hats, so I know right away what I'm getting into.

----------


## optical24/7

Feebird, you should have told him you did him a favor. That analog signals are being phased out, you replaced them with "digital" screws.

----------


## chip anderson

I have had parents ask me (while I was making the child an artificial eye) 'When is he gonna be ready for a transplant?"

Chip

----------


## grumpybear

Can you clean my iPhone?

----------


## GokhanSF

What is the difference between the sunglasses at gas station and the ones you have? and why do they cost more than those?

----------


## mdeimler

> What is the difference between the sunglasses at gas station and the ones you have? and why do they cost more than those?


Actually, it's amazing how many people share this idea...on a daily basis.  They sometimes know that the "expensive" amber/eagle vision ones are better.

----------


## fjpod

Can I get Variflux transmissionals with Crystal Light?

----------


## optilady1

> Can I get Variflux transmissionals with Crystal Light?



Thats pretty much awesome

----------


## opty4062

Pt came in today for the first time since 2003 with broken frame. Can we order new frame for lenses? Checked and frame is discontinued. Suggest new exam and specs. Can we find frame for lenses to fit in? We find something that works, barely. Suggest exam and new specs. In due diligence, point out that frame is not a good fit, lenses are not 100% secure in eyewire. Pt is willing to "make do". Ask for payment for frame, pt goes off on 30 minute trade about inferior product to begin with and how we should be happy to replace for free to keep "his business". This, after being told from the get-go that replacement frame would run in the $ to $$ price range. After total waste of more than an hour of time, pt leaves mad with lenses put back in broken frame. Let me just add, pt was high myope, approx -7.00. Pt was in business attire, wearing watch that was worth more than my car. And he walked mad and threatening the dreaded "call your boss to complain" over $50.
My eyes could not roll farther in my head.
My apologies for this being more of a vent than a question. It's just been one of those days.

----------


## Wes

What's a Master's degree?

----------


## Browneyes1208

I love when we take patients back for their "pre-exam" and they say "Will I need my glasses?"

or you ask them, Do you have your glasses with you today?   ...No, I didn't think I needed them.

I want to say "Do you take your teeth when you go to the dentist?"....one of these days! :Rolleyes:

----------


## GokhanSF

Another one.... Customer calls in the next day we did his exam and:

Customer: I had my eye exam yesterday but Dr. didn't write my seg height. Can you give that to me?
Me: Hmmm, no I can't as seg ht. is not a part of the exam. We take your seg ht after you choose your glasses as it will change in each frame. 
Customer: Ohh that is ridiculous. I am not dumb. You guys do everything to keep my business there. Why would my eye measument change in different frames?
Me: Clearly sir you are not dumb but maybe a little bit of reseach would help. 
Customer: I am not coming back there again. You people are liars. And he hangs up....

----------


## chip anderson

Gokhan: Just tell them that is taken by the person they buy thier glasses from.

Brown Eyes:  I have had them not bring thier artificial eye when they were here for an artificial eye check-up.

----------


## GokhanSF

> Gokhan: Just tell them that is taken by the person they buy thier glasses from.


I did. He called me a liar :)

----------


## Browneyes1208

> Gokhan: Just tell them that is taken by the person they buy thier glasses from.
> 
> Brown Eyes:  I have had them not bring thier artificial eye when they were here for an artificial eye check-up.




 :Eek:   OH wow!

----------


## Browneyes1208

> Another one.... Customer calls in the next day we did his exam and:
> 
> Customer: I had my eye exam yesterday but Dr. didn't write my seg height. Can you give that to me?
> Me: Hmmm, no I can't as seg ht. is not a part of the exam. We take your seg ht after you choose your glasses as it will change in each frame. 
> Customer: Ohh that is ridiculous. I am not dumb. You guys do everything to keep my business there. Why would my eye measument change in different frames?
> Me: Clearly sir you are not dumb but maybe a little bit of reseach would help. 
> Customer: I am not coming back there again. You people are liars. And he hangs up....


It kills me because he probably doesn't even know what a seg ht. is! (Nor should he) People will come in and say I HAVE to have a frame with a 52 eye size...try to explain to them different shapes can make them different sizes...no, a 52 eye is what they need.

----------


## GokhanSF

> It kills me because he probably doesn't even know what a seg ht. is! (Nor should he) People will come in and say I HAVE to have a frame with a 52 eye size...try to explain to them different shapes can make them different sizes...no, a 52 eye is what they need.


+1.... I got this so many times it even started to sound normal to me :)  What I normally do is, select a frame with 52 eye size which fits more like 60 eye size and have them try it on, just to prove your point.

----------


## EyeManFla

One exception: Costa Del Mar. The Mobil gas station and the Ace hardwear store sold the same sunglasses as we did...thankfully for the same price. But, of course, our customers expected their insurance discounts.



> What is the difference between the sunglasses at gas station and the ones you have? and why do they cost more than those?

----------


## GokhanSF

> One exception: Costa Del Mar. The Mobil gas station and the Ace hardwear store sold the same sunglasses as we did...thankfully for the same price. But, of course, our customers expected their insurance discounts.


Wow, in that case that is a line I will never put in my store.  Anyway, my customer was talking about "Ironman" brand :)

----------


## gmc

> It kills me because he probably doesn't even know what a seg ht. is! (Nor should he) People will come in and say I HAVE to have a frame with a 52 eye size...try to explain to them different shapes can make them different sizes...no, a 52 eye is what they need.


We had a lady that would call in every couple of weeks and ask if we had gotten in any new 51's. It was funny when we would have a newbie that took the call.

----------


## NCspecs

> We had a lady that would call in every couple of weeks and ask if we had gotten in any new 51's. It was funny when we would have a newbie that took the call.


Now that is funny!

----------


## NCspecs

I had a guy today who wasn't stupid, he was just a poisonious person. He was a real donkey with the front desk ladies and kept the Dr in the room for an hour and a half. When he got done ravaging the rest of the office he came for me. Unfortunately (for him) I have a tendency to go toe to toe with anyone, especially bullies. 

He wanted a lens replacement in a pair of 5 year old Silhouettes which I agreed to do, but he wanted the exact shape of the lens and we don't carry Silhouettes. Since he couldn't leave his glasses with us for a trace, I offered him two choices; remember the name of the office that dispensed the glasses or let me change his shape to one of the Charmant styles I do have. 

He got this nasty smirk on his face and said, "Isn't it obvious what shape it is? You can't figure that out?" 

To which I replied, "Sure can sir! How would you like me to describe it over the phone to my lab?"  :Biggrin:

----------


## becc971

Me: "thank you for calling Vision _(insert name here)_ how can i help you?"
Patient: "do you guys do circumcisions?"

seriously, there's vision in our company NAME.  really?

----------


## William Walker

> Me: "thank you for calling Vision _(insert name here)_ how can i help you?"
> Patient: "do you guys do circumcisions?"
> 
> seriously, there's vision in our company NAME.  really?


Your reply should have been, 'Not on the Sabbath.'

----------


## EyeManFla

but I thought you guys were ops-sta-tricians.....



> Me: "thank you for calling Vision _(insert name here)_ how can i help you?"
> Patient: "do you guys do circumcisions?"
> 
> seriously, there's vision in our company NAME.  really?

----------


## Uncle Fester

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. Do you have a catalog with the frame prices I can look at?"  

"The prices are on the frames."

"No. Your prices."

 :Eek:

----------


## Robert_S

> "Can I help you?"
> 
> "Yes. Do you have a catalog with the frame prices I can look at?"  
> 
> "The prices are on the frames."
> 
> "No. Your prices."


What did you say?

----------


## AngeHamm

> What did you say?


Yeah, I kind of want to know too.

----------


## Uncle Fester

> What did you say?


"Sorry but that's priviledged industry information." 

He said he understood. I guess he thought there was no harm in asking.

----------


## RTaucher

I also work as an ophthalmic tech and as part of our work up, I will have them keep their head straight and follow my fixation light with their eyes only.  With a straight face, they will ask me " both eyes or just one eye?"

----------


## RTaucher

I've told pts that I want to check their pressure and they start to remove their shirts.

----------


## RTaucher

Ever have anyone bring in their present lenses and ask to have them "photosynthesized".  (they wanted transitions.)

----------


## NCspecs

> I also work as an ophthalmic tech and as part of our work up, I will have them keep their head straight and follow my fixation light with their eyes only. With a straight face, they will ask me " both eyes or just one eye?"


Next time someone asks that say, "one eye at a time please" and act frustrated when they can't comply. :)

----------


## RTaucher

We once had a patient named Dr. Seymour Hyman.

----------


## J.P.

I had a guy call me today, not a patient in our office, and asked if I could make a pair of Maui Jim Suns with his RX. I told him of course, and asked which frame he was interested in, and asked if they would be single vision, or progressive. He responded _"No I'd like thems to be dark alls the times"._ Yes sir they will be dark, do you also need up close correction to read? _"I don't know what you mean."_ .... This went on for a while.After getting through that, and telling him the price of the Sunglasses. He said:

_"Great!!! I'll fax over my subscription, can ya take a check over da' phone?"

_I'm not making this up, wanted me to fit him and take a check..... over the phone.....

God bless him

----------


## J.P.

> I've told pts that I want to check their pressure and they start to remove their shirts.


Is your Patient Basis hot women? If so..... Need a new tech?  :Wink:

----------


## becc971

had a woman come in today SEVEN months after getting trial contacts and purchasing four boxes of the new RX, all of the boxes were opened, one or two lenses taken out of each "can i return these?"  and then "why are the ones with stigmatasm <-- how she said it! more money" and "is it okay to wear them for longer than one month if i take them out every night and clean them?"  :Confused: 

every person who wears contact lenses should have to pass a sanity test.

----------


## becc971

> had a woman come in today SEVEN months after getting trial contacts and purchasing four boxes of the new RX, all of the boxes were opened, one or two lenses taken out of each "can i return these?"  and then "why are the ones with stigmatasm <-- how she said it! more money" and "is it okay to wear them for longer than one month if i take them out every night and clean them?" 
> 
> every person who wears contact lenses should have to pass a sanity test.


see also: a gentleman came into our satellite office after wearing the same contacts for 8 months without taking them out of his eyes, and wondered why the doctor wouldnt give him a new pair. -8.00 OU, no backup glasses, true story.

----------


## chip anderson

Actually I saw Fred Danker at a CLSA convention in LasVegas remove a pair of hard contacts (with unpolished posterior curves no less) from his own eyes after 27 years of wear.  He was fine, but he had forgotten how to remove them.

Chip

----------


## pseudonym

This happened two days ago. Elderly lady comes in and asks me to check her glasses because she's seeing blurry on the "left side." Without even touching her glasses, I point out that there doesn't appear to be a left lens in them. She got irritable and says of COURSE there's a lens there and pokes herself straight in the eye and says OWW. 

(No I did not laugh but it took some effort.)

----------


## NCspecs

> This happened two days ago. Elderly lady comes in and asks me to check her glasses because she's seeing blurry on the "left side." Without even touching her glasses, I point out that there doesn't appear to be a left lens in them. She got irritable and says of COURSE there's a lens there and pokes herself straight in the eye and says OWW. 
> 
> (No I did not laugh but it took some effort.)


Oh to be a fly on the wall! That just made my Friday. :)

----------


## Jamelina

"Do the glasses have to come with the writing on the lenses or can you take it off?" 

"Why can't the company send the temple directly to my house?"............

----------


## kristiekyle

Can I get my rectals checked?  :Eek:

----------


## Jamelina

> Can I get my rectals checked?


Haha ummmm no thank you!

----------


## Kara

Had an account call me the other day and start griping me out about not-returning her phone call. To which I replied that I had, and it rang several times and no one picked up. Twice!

Her response; "You called the phone?"

........No, I called the air conditioner........ *face-palm*

----------


## brucejackson

> We once had a patient named Dr. Seymour Hyman.


As far as unfortunate names go I had an Asian customer who's name was Fuc Poon.  I asked her how it was pronounced hoping it would not sound obscene in English but no such luck.  It was hard for us to say her name with a straight face.  I'm sure it was a perfectly fine name in her country but I wish someone talked her into a nickname to use here.

----------


## chip anderson

Today I had a mother call and want a reciept for $2000.00 so she could file it on her income tax.  While her chld did recieve a $2000.00 prosthetic eye, Medicaid only paid about $ 450.00 for it.  She paid nothing.
She went on to say that we and the government were holding her child's money.

Chip

And no, I didn't give her a receipt or tell her what I though of the situation.

----------


## Happylady

Had a woman ask me if there was anyway to remove scratches from her lenses. I took them and washed them off to see the scratches and the "scratches" washed off. They were just dirty!  Turns out it has never occurred to her to actually wash them.  :Rolleyes:

----------


## manoj_verma

& This is the Most Stupid Line we face almost Everyday  ..........''Can You Do EYE TEST '' ? ( Facing A Optometrist Having Practice License Badge On Coat ).

----------


## manoj_verma

> & This is the Most Stupid Line we face almost Everyday  ..........''Can You Do EYE TEST '' ? ( Facing A Optometrist Having Practice License Badge On Coat ).


and now I found My Fav. Answer to It .............''Only If You Allow '' !

----------


## mdeimler

> Had a woman ask me if there was anyway to remove scratches from her lenses. I took them and washed them off to see the scratches and the "scratches" washed off. They were just dirty! Turns out it has never occurred to her to actually wash them.


Actually, this happens more than I would like to see.  It really doesn't occur to people to CLEAN the lenses.  They just keep wiping them until the dirt/grease moves to the edges.

----------


## pseudonym

> & This is the Most Stupid Line we face almost Everyday  ..........''Can You Do EYE TEST '' ? ( Facing A Optometrist Having Practice License Badge On Coat ).


They don't know the difference between optician, optometrist, and ophthalmologist. We all wear white coats. I'm an optician. I tell them I could do an eye test if they have time for me to complete 6 or 8 more years schooling.

----------


## manoj_verma

> They don't know the difference between optician, optometrist, and ophthalmologist. We all wear white coats. I'm an optician. I tell them I could do an eye test if they have time for me to complete 6 or 8 more years schooling.


 :Bounce:

----------


## eyeGJ

"My son's eye exam was last year in October. If I am paying cash do I have to wait until October of this year to bring him in?"

----------


## chip anderson

Some of the best ophthalmologists I have known told me years ago not to wear white coats (they didn't) because it scares children.

Chip

----------


## manoj_verma

> Some of the best ophthalmologists I have known told me years ago not to wear white coats (they didn't) because it scares children.
> 
> Chip


  :Biggrin:

----------


## becc971

Maybe a little off topic as its not a patient, but i had a patient recently walk with an RX that was +plano   with a +2.25 add OU ... they took it to *big box* and *big box* called me because they needed the reading RX written to make her a pair of single vision readers ... 

is it wrong to tell patients that if the optician cant do this kind of math they probably shouldnt be getting their glasses there??!! i feel like its kind of like transposing +cyl and any optician should be able to do it??? or am i becoming an old curmudgeon  :Rolleyes:

----------


## Bok

> Also an older woman of an interesting look, came in and told me she wanted to look younger, prettier and sexier.  She wanted RED round frames.  What do you do?


Today woman walks in, "I want red frames to make me look prettier sexier" etc my mind wanders to where i had seent his before and i thought to my self oh no...... 

So I find the fire engine red pair of specs and think to myself perfect she will love these, I hand them to her... client replies "these are not red!!!" so I go and get three other pairs that are bright red all of which the same reply "these are not red, im looking for RED frames" I think to myself are your color blind or just plain stupid... so I excuse myself vowing to the fact that I cannot help some people...

----------


## Melissa Dou

I had my glasses in hand and kept looking for them and asking my roommate "where is my glasses?" --- really funny!

----------


## optilady1

"Why do you have sunglasses hanging from your wall?" (Said while sitting in the middle of an optical shop).

----------


## mjacob

Q: "what's this green stuff on my eyepieces? A: "face cheese. Try cleaning your glasses more than once a week, dirtbag"

Q: "do my glasses need adjusting?" A: "if you need to ask, the answer is: no, they don't"

Rant officially over :o[/QUOTE]

I heard those before. "What's the green stuff on my nosepad / what makes it worse is they want me clean it since they dont want to buy a new set  :Frown: ".

----------


## The General

Customer - "Do you take Medicaid?"
Me - "No Ma'am we do not."
Customer - "You have to take it, it's the law."
Me - "No it's not required by law for me to take Medicaid."
Customer - "Ok, I'll pay cash then."

----------


## SeaU2020

"Why do you have sunglasses hanging from your wall?" (Said while sitting in the middle of an optical shop).

I had a person come in for a repair on his glasses he bought from me, then asked for his rx so he could go buy sunglasses.  I asked why he didn't want to order them here and he said "oh, you do that?!!! I thought you just sold them non-prescripton!" :Banghead:

----------


## davidxuonline

:Eek: Eye doctor can treat cancer?
 :Mad: No, but if you think prescription glasses can do you better, I'd like to sell.
 :Bounce: Yes, please.

LOL

----------


## becc971

Just now, PITA patient walks in, throws his glasses down "these transitions don't work.  i put them on the dash of the car, they barely turn dark at all"

 :Banghead:

----------


## chip anderson

Becc:  Didn't you tell him they don't work in cars before the sale?

----------


## becc971

> Becc:  Didn't you tell him they don't work in cars before the sale?


ALWAYS... i talk more people out of transitions than sell them to be honest haha.  he's an avid gardener, which is why he gets them.   I say "they don't work in the car" they hear "its a sunglasses substitute!"  :Angel:  but yes, i did talk to him about it.

----------


## Psychobablr7

> I say "they don't work in the car" they hear "its a sunglasses substitute!" .


+1

----------


## SeaU2020

[QUOTE=abberated;375595]My Favorite...

"Dese Glasses are NO GOOD!  Every time I step on them...THEY BROKEN!!"  He exclaimed while throwing the pieces on the bench.[/Q

Thanks for my true laugh out loud moment today :Giggle:

----------


## chip anderson

Actually Eye DOCTORS do occasionally treat cancer.   Not to sure whether any OD's have got into this yet.

Chip

----------


## mal21

Just thought I'd put it out there that one reason I registered for Optiboard is because I'd love to share some of the stories from our office. I think this thread is hilarious and I LOVE IT!  :Giggle: 

1) Pt. that has been calling and harassing us for a few days straight because we will not refill her 6 month expired contact prescription finally makes an appt for an exam. Shows up FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATE and announces that she knows she's "a few minutes late" but she would like to keep her appointment. I inform her that she is more than a few minutes late, the OD has other patients to see, but we could reschedule her. She huffs and says "I will just go somewhere that isn't so COMPLICATED."

2) Pt. asked the OD "Are there any foods I should avoid while my eyes are dilated?"

3) Male pt. asked the female OD (in reference to the air puff test) "Are you going to blow me?"

4) Woman storms in and demands to know if we keep contacts in stock or if she has to order her boxes. I inform her she has to order them, but they only take about two days to come in usually. She gets in my face and says "I spent $700 on glasses here and this is the service I get? I'm out of contacts, what do you expect me to do?" (Wear those $700 glasses for two days?  :Rolleyes: )

That's all I have...for now. Tomorrow is another day.

----------


## shannon

Ahhh, mal21, you just made me happy!  :Biggrin:

----------


## pseudonym

Stupid question was asked by ME while viewing very scratched glasses: "What are you using to clean your lenses?"

Stupid ANSWER came from customer: "Just this cloth you gimme." 

Then he proceeds to take cloth out of his wallet to prove how well he's been treating his glasses. The cloth was still its sealed plastic sleeve.

----------


## mal21

Oh, I forgot these gems. First one handled by my co-worker, though I watched nearby :)

Pt. comes in and says "Something is just not right with my glasses. I can't wear them like this."
"What is the problem, sir?"
"Well, when I do this..." He tilts his head all the way to his right shoulder, covers one eye, and starts to look as far out to his peripheral as he could possibly try (I could feel MY eyes start to strain) "I just can't see! These glasses aren't right!"

While taking a pt's PD, I ask her to focus on the green light at the back of the device...
"Well, I see the green light, but not so well with my left eye." She starts closing one eye at a time...I try to remind her that I just need her to focus on it and that I wasn't testing her vision, but she continues her ramble...until her husband finally snapped at her lol

----------


## anthonyf1509

I read these thinking this stuff can't be true or happen so frequently...then the phone rings at closing time....

"are you open?" 
Yes. We don't close for another 15 mins actually.
"good because the glasses I picked up yesterday don't work."
ok, what seems to be the trouble??
"when I take them off everything gets blurry?? It was never like that before..."

----------


## Chris Ryser

Just wondering how and why a thread that is ridiculing the customers of a profession, can become one of the most successful ones on a public forum and just go on and on.

----------


## wearegood

> Do you change watch batteries?


 For frame? How and where. LOL

----------


## SharonB

> Just wondering how and why a thread that is ridiculing the customers of a profession, can become one of the most successful ones on a public forum and just go on and on.


Because - all of us in the trenches need a place to "vent", and a place where everyone (except consumers) will understand exactly WHAT we are venting about. Unfortunately.... consumers have access to this thread. That's not a good representation of our profession. Maybe comments like these should be moved to Professionals Only?

----------


## Psychobablr7

> Because - all of us in the trenches need a place to "vent", and a place where everyone (except consumers) will understand exactly WHAT we are venting about. Unfortunately.... consumers have access to this thread. That's not a good representation of our profession. Maybe comments like these should be moved to Professionals Only?


+1

----------


## thelittlestnixon

> Because - all of us in the trenches need a place to "vent", and a place where everyone (except consumers) will understand exactly WHAT we are venting about. Unfortunately.... consumers have access to this thread. That's not a good representation of our profession. Maybe comments like these should be moved to Professionals Only?


Agreed!

----------


## Jamelina

Ok not a question but thought this comment was funny:

"BUT DON'T YOU SEE? DON'T YOU SEE HOW THESE LENSES FIT RIGHT IN MY EYE SOCKETS?!"

----------


## fjpod

Don't you want us (substitute name of mega-company) to partner with your practice?

----------


## Bri.Irvine

I had a older lady call me and asked me " Do I need to get dressed to come in and buy glasses?"  .....

Wow....

I've been in this field for over 13 years and the was a first for me!!  

I work with more of the elderly and I have folks grab frames off the frame boards and complain the "these glases don't work! I can't see!"  I reply "There's no power in those lenses yet, I have to send them away to the lab to have your custom correction put in"  lol  It's sad and kinda funny too...

----------


## crazyak2003

What about.......

"I dropped my glasses and I think all the medicine ran out."

or

"I need to get Contacts. My husbands girlfriend came over and I had to head but her and messed my glasses all up. If I get Contacts that won't happen again."

or

"I need to have my Contacts in for a Contact lens recheck?!?!?!?!?!" Duuuuhhhhhh.............

YUP........ I'm in Georgia

----------


## fjpod

Do I have stigmata?

----------


## jlkeck87

I joined this board because I enjoyed this thread. I don't see it as unprofessional. Don't you think that most professions have something like this that they use to vent/discuss their jobs? Isn't that what Peopleofwalmart.com is all about? I am just glad to know that it isn't just my office that has patients that are unbelievable.

----------


## jlkeck87

> Do I have stigmata?


or they whisper "i have the stigmatism" like they were just told they have brain cancer.

----------


## n711

> or they whisper "i have the stigmatism" like they were just told they have brain cancer.


And then they ask if their husband/son/daughter can "catch" it from them....

Silly patients!

----------


## junebuggy

Please tell me that I'm not the only one that has had a patient tell them that they have "immaculate generation". I had to turn my back to the poor woman to stifle the giggle.

----------


## optilady1

> Please tell me that I'm not the only one that has had a patient tell them that they have "immaculate generation". I had to turn my back to the poor woman to stifle the giggle.



Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying, and yet my husband doesn't get why this is so funny.  I think this one beats them all!

----------


## fjpod

> Please tell me that I'm not the only one that has had a patient tell them that they have "immaculate generation". I had to turn my back to the poor woman to stifle the giggle.


that is a good one...

----------


## Jamelina

Pt brings me a metal frame explaining that they are too tight.  As I'm making my adjustments he tells me that I "need to first put them in the fire". He wasn't kidding.  That's a first for me!

----------


## opty4062

Sorry if this is ill suited to this thread but I wanted to share.

Just when you think you've heard it all...

A pt today was bragging to me how she gets more than 30 wears out of her planned replacement contact lenses. She said after about 25 days when they get "all gunky" she just washes them with Johnson's baby shampoo (the No tears formula of course) then soaks overnight them like normal. That was a new one for me!  :)

----------


## edKENdance

> Sorry if this is ill suited to this thread but I wanted to share.
> 
> Just when you think you've heard it all...
> 
> A pt today was bragging to me how she gets more than 30 wears out of her planned replacement contact lenses. She said after about 25 days when they get "all gunky" she just washes them with Johnson's baby shampoo (the No tears formula of course) then soaks overnight them like normal. That was a new one for me!  :)


The next time somebody says something like that to me I'm going to tell them I do the same thing with my condoms.

----------


## optilady1

> Sorry if this is ill suited to this thread but I wanted to share.
> 
> Just when you think you've heard it all...
> 
> A pt today was bragging to me how she gets more than 30 wears out of her planned replacement contact lenses. She said after about 25 days when they get "all gunky" she just washes them with Johnson's baby shampoo (the No tears formula of course) then soaks overnight them like normal. That was a new one for me! :)


I love when patients brag about doing stupid stuff.  I wonder how many people go to their doctors and are like, "I smoke two packs a day, eat fast food for my 3 squares, and I weight 300 pounds.  I'm not dead yet, so you all must be wrong about living healthy!"

----------


## Kallen

I first moved to the South three years ago and I was mystified when a woman came in asking if I sold glassed that came with "medicine" in them.  I had to ask another optician what the heck she was talking about.  

Another favorite moment....an office I once worked at was next to a dentist office.  A gal walked in and asked if we had any samples of floss even though she was surrounded by eyewear then proceeded to try to schedule a cleaning.

----------


## opty4062

@Kallen, welcome to the south, brother. At least once a month we deal with "the medicine ran out of my glasses" story. Bless their hearts. :)

----------


## n711

> @Kallen, welcome to the south, brother. At least once a month we deal with "the medicine ran out of my glasses" story. Bless their hearts. :)


This is just hilarious to me!  The Dr's that I work for both went to optomety school @ the Southern School of Optometry in Memphis, TN .  When they first told me of this "phenom" I thought they were joking! Now I see it ALL OVER Optiboard! hahahaha

----------


## Jason H

Older woman comes into the shop, walker and all. I ran up to help.

"Good morning, how can I help you?"

"I need new teeth"

"But I only do eyes"

"But I need teeth"

"........c'mon over and have a seat, I'll get the phone book"

We sat down, I found a dentist right down the street, she shuffled out and that's the end of my story.

----------


## NUECoptical

A mom brought her daughter (about 4 yrs old) in for an exam and found out she needed correction for her +4.00 RX.  The daughter had never worn glasses before and was loath to even try any frames on.  After finally picking some out, we made the glasses and fitted them to the little girl who took them off as soon as we were done.  We get a call about a week later from the very distressed mother.  
 :Hot: "My daughter won't wear her glasses and I think it's because she can't see out of them!  My son who wears glasses tried them on and he can't see through them, and then I looked through the lenses and I couldn't see either!  We need to fix her prescription or I want a refund!"

Even though in my head I was thinking, "well duh you can't see through her glasses!" I told her I would pull their records and see what I could find out.  When I compared the RX's, the mom doesn't need correction, and the son's RX is a -2.00 sph!  When I explained why she wouldn't be able to see out of her daughter's lenses and that the strong RX was actually correct, she seemed to calm down.  For those of you that are curious, we did eventually get the little girl to wear her glasses and she loves them now. Happy ending! :Biggrin:

----------


## optilady1

> A mom brought her daughter (about 4 yrs old) in for an exam and found out she needed correction for her +4.00 RX. The daughter had never worn glasses before and was loath to even try any frames on. After finally picking some out, we made the glasses and fitted them to the little girl who took them off as soon as we were done. We get a call about a week later from the very distressed mother. 
> "My daughter won't wear her glasses and I think it's because she can't see out of them! My son who wears glasses tried them on and he can't see through them, and then I looked through the lenses and I couldn't see either! We need to fix her prescription or I want a refund!"
> 
> Even though in my head I was thinking, "well duh you can't see through her glasses!" I told her I would pull their records and see what I could find out. When I compared the RX's, the mom doesn't need correction, and the son's RX is a -2.00 sph! When I explained why she wouldn't be able to see out of her daughter's lenses and that the strong RX was actually correct, she seemed to calm down. For those of you that are curious, we did eventually get the little girl to wear her glasses and she loves them now. Happy ending!


One of the most difficult fits I've ever done was on twin one year old girls.  After going horse explaining why the girls needed plastic frames made specifically for tiny little heads, the mother refused to get anything other than metal frames because she didn't want the girls suffering later on in life because they were teased because of their glasses.  

How about the poop in their diapers?  How was that working for them?  It was the worst fit ever, and after weeks of back and forth, she decided on frames that were more suited for a seven year old, and of course, they didn't fit well.  The straw that finally broke the camel's back, was as they were leaving after the dispense, the girls' doctor came out to see the kids, and then lectured me on how the frames didn't fit very well, blah blah.  AFter the mother left, I explained the situation to the doctor, who then appologized for making me look like an idiot in front of the patient.  I was very happy to wash my hands of that job.

----------


## Varangian

> A mom brought her daughter (about 4 yrs old) in for an exam and found out she needed correction for her +4.00 RX. The daughter had never worn glasses before and was loath to even try any frames on. After finally picking some out, we made the glasses and fitted them to the little girl who took them off as soon as we were done. We get a call about a week later from the very distressed mother. 
> "My daughter won't wear her glasses and I think it's because she can't see out of them! My son who wears glasses tried them on and he can't see through them, and then I looked through the lenses and I couldn't see either! We need to fix her prescription or I want a refund!"
> 
> Even though in my head I was thinking, "well duh you can't see through her glasses!" I told her I would pull their records and see what I could find out. When I compared the RX's, the mom doesn't need correction, and the son's RX is a -2.00 sph! When I explained why she wouldn't be able to see out of her daughter's lenses and that the strong RX was actually correct, she seemed to calm down. For those of you that are curious, we did eventually get the little girl to wear her glasses and she loves them now. Happy ending!


(Click on image to enlarge.)

----------


## pseudonym

> When I explained why she wouldn't be able to see out of her daughter's lenses and that the strong RX was actually correct, she seemed to calm down.  For those of you that are curious, we did eventually get the little girl to wear her glasses and she loves them now. Happy ending!


Genuine ignorance doesn't faze me. Like you, I don't mind explaining the difference between plus and minus lenses. I'm also quite capable of going into lecture mode... AKA "bore the carp out of them until they say thanks, goodbye." It's a tedious skill, but can be useful.

Here we go: Woman comes in for her glasses and BEFORE I EVEN GET THEM OUT OF THE CASE, she asks her stupid question:

"What if I don't like them?" 

"In that case, you would definitely want to go back to your doctor to confirm that the prescription is correct."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean what if I just don't like them? Can I get a refund??"

Gah. Fortunately, she paid with Flex. I pretended to be stymied by the question and asked her to use her cell phone to confirm from Flex if her account would be credited. It took ages (patience, patience...) but Flex finally did tell her that NO her account would not be credited due to the expiration date. Checkmate. 

She decided she liked them.

----------


## NUECoptical

> "No, I don't mean that. I mean what if I just don't like them? Can I get a refund??"
> 
> Gah. Fortunately, she paid with Flex. I pretended to be stymied by the question and asked her to use her cell phone to confirm from Flex if her account would be credited. It took ages (patience, patience...) but Flex finally did tell her that NO her account would not be credited due to the expiration date. Checkmate. 
> 
> She decided she liked them.


What other business that makes a personalized medical device allows refunds?  I'm trying to think of one but can't.  

I'm glad she decided she liked them after finding she didn't have a way to back out.  haha!

----------


## n711

> (Click on image to enlarge.)



I heard this just the other day... my silly Mom!  I had to quote and repost!!!

----------


## Kane

Is there to much add power in these, or is it really that big?

----------


## optilady1

> Is there to much add power in these, or is it really that big?


Nice.

----------


## Kane

> Nice.


 :Wink:

----------


## eyeGJ

Can't your office just buy the D&G frame that I want from another optical shop? That way I could use my vision insurance here.



Ginny

----------


## jefe

> Can't your office just buy the D&G frame that I want from another optical shop? That way I could use my vision insurance here.
> 
> 
> 
> Ginny



Wow, that IS stupid.

----------


## waynegilpin

Had mother who was devastated that her 8 year old perfect child needed glasses.  She called up the day after pick up.  She was screaming that the glasses were the worst workmanship of any product she had ever seen in her entire life!
OK princess, I’ll bite, “What’s wrong with them?”
“The edge thickness of the lenses is different at different points around the frame.”
Tried to explain to her that most glasses are like that.  If uniform edge thickness was the priority, her perfect child would have to have a spherical OU Rx, with a perfectly round frame and the frame PD would have to match perfect child’s PD.  Or we could do planos in the current frame.  Your choice.
She didn’t believe me and I finally suggested that she look at several pairs of prescription glasses and see for herself.  She wanted to talk to the prescribing doctor and I told her that I would have him call her.  He just looked at me in disbelief and shook his head when I gave him the message.

----------


## AngeHamm

One of my patients this morning asked me to adjust her glasses so they would stay in place when she wore them on top of her head. I told her we would need to put a prosthetic nose up there for that to work.

----------


## Judy Canty

> One of my patients this morning asked me to adjust her glasses so they would stay in place when she wore them on top of her head. I told her we would need to put a prosthetic nose up there for that to work.


 :Giggle:   :Giggle:

----------


## becc971

For reals: 

I just had a patient come in.  and he says i want them to look just like this, and shows me a picture of jonathan davis from Korn in glasses.  i think that was a first for me.

----------


## vcom

Patient ordered 2 boxes of contacts, one for his right, one for his left.  His rx is different for each eye so I labeled the box with an 'R' for his right eye.  When he came in to pick them up, he asked what the box with the 'R' was for, I told him it was for his right eye.  Then he asked what the other box was for.... 

Your elbow.  Its for your elbow.

----------


## AngeHamm

> your elbow.  Its for your elbow.


bwahahahahahahahaha!

----------


## Jamelina

> Your elbow.  Its for your elbow.


Love this!!!

----------


## optilady1

Love this.  And by the way, my husband says elbow starts with e...

----------


## cjdavis

> One of my patients this morning asked me to adjust her glasses so they would stay in place when she wore them on top of her head. I told her we would need to put a prosthetic nose up there for that to work.


Yeah, I've had this. When you explain that you can't get them to fit on their face AND on top of their head - and they say - "They're on my head most of the time, so I'd rather they stayed up there."

----------


## King of the Lab

Dumbest question I have been asked....

"Do I need a subscription for glasses?"

----------


## BigGuy

Had a patient a while back that got a very nice Silhouette rimless frame and trivex lenses. He came in twice the first month after he got them and the glasses were bent to hell both times. After the second time he said he couldn't understand why they got bent up, because his safety glasses didn't, and proceeded  to throw his crappy old safety glasses against the wall. When he picked them up he held them up to show me those hadn't bent and asked "What do you think of that?"  My answer, "That might be the stupidest thing I've ever seen!" Needless to say he's no longer  patient here. It was worth it to see the expression on his face!

----------


## Jamelina

Irate patient: "All common sense aside, why did you not tell me that soft contacts can tear?!"

----------


## TEdFitz

"Is this the pharmacy?"

----------


## optilady1

When my rx changes, do I have to pay for new glasses?

----------


## NCspecs

> Irate patient: "All common sense aside, why did you not tell me that soft contacts can tear?!"



"Seems like you put common sense aside quite often ma'am." lol! :)

----------


## fjpod

> Irate patient: "All common sense aside, why did you not tell me that soft contacts can tear?!"


common sense isn't so common anymore.

----------


## Yeap

my patient asked: why you never use the machine to check my eye. computer more accurate you know?

----------


## opty4062

Gas perm contact wearer called to complain that he only received one lens in his latest order. I reminded him he only ordered one lens because there was no rx change on the other eye and that lens was in good shape. His question: "Then why does the case have a right AND a left side?"

----------


## RichR

"Will these (glasses) say Vera Bradley, Gucci, Etc. on the lenses once you put my prescription in?"

I used to explain the difference between demo lenses and actual rx lenses...

Now I respond with: "Yes, but that will cost extra."

 :Banghead:

----------


## Ejmaxie

Why did you not tell me at time of purchase, I had to get an eye exam every to years for contacts?

----------


## NCspecs

Yesterday, While troubleshooting for a patient wearing the Shamir Office lens:

The Patient: "Well I just don't think these are going to work out for me. While I was driving over here I put them on and I couldn't see the license plate of the car in front of me...."

Me: *facepalm*

----------


## optical24/7

Yesterday we had a new patient come in and ordered Transitions. She asked how long before they started working. My optician asked do you mean the reaction time? No, the last pair she got from a nat'l chain wasn't changing at all, she returned to them to complain only to be told " They take 6-9 months before they started to work".

Consumers aren't the only morons out there..

----------


## becc971

> Yesterday we had a new patient come in and ordered Transitions. She asked how long before they started working. My optician asked do you mean the reaction time? No, the last pair she got from a nat'l chain wasn't changing at all, she returned to them to complain only to be told " They take 6-9 months before they started to work".
> 
> Consumers aren't the only morons out there..


 :Giggle:  WOW.  i'd like to think that wasn't possible someone would actually say that, but i know better!!

----------


## NCspecs

> Yesterday we had a new patient come in and ordered Transitions. She asked how long before they started working. My optician asked do you mean the reaction time? No, the last pair she got from a nat'l chain wasn't changing at all, she returned to them to complain only to be told " They take 6-9 months before they started to work".
> 
> Consumers aren't the only morons out there..



Dang.

----------


## kamran

When they walk up to you and ask " how much are your glasses?"

----------


## Slim

had a px in for an eye ulcer and come to find out she got to her last pair of monthly contacts and used them for 3 years.... YEARS!!!!!!    seriously people...

----------


## Manual

Just got a phone call...

"I lost my glasses in the snow, is that covered under warranty?"

----------


## Uncle Fester

> Just got a phone call...
> 
> "I lost my glasses in the snow, is that covered under warranty?"


Short answer- Snow it's not!!!

----------


## Bok

> Just got a phone call...
> 
> "I lost my glasses in the snow, is that covered under warranty?"


I get that all the time except its usually along the lines of, I just stood on my glasses case and it broke can you replace it for free?? Oh and by the way the glasses were inside... they can't be very good quality because they broke too... So I think you should replace them with better quality ones. 

My reply, huh??!?!?

----------


## mrmac

I am glad to see that the post I started 6 years ago is still going.

----------


## Java99

> I get that all the time except its usually along the lines of, I just stood on my glasses case and it broke can you replace it for free?? Oh and by the way the glasses were inside... they can't be very good quality because they broke too... So I think you should replace them with better quality ones. 
> 
> My reply, huh??!?!?


We get a fair amount of "My husband plowed his glasses under, is that covered?"

----------


## CrystalOoley

Maybe not the dumbest question, but one of my favorite:

pt walks in with broken glasses, " I need a screw" 

lol, so many times when I want to answer back and say we aren't a optometry that offers happy endings. lol.

----------


## CrystalOoley

oh, and one that I get everyday when I answer the phones:

"When is the soonest available appointment I can get in?"

and I give them the date of the soonest appointment

and then they reply

"you don't have anything sooner?" 

(yeah, since you said that, a sooner date magically showed up on our schedule. ugh.)

----------


## edKENdance

> oh, and one that I get everyday when I answer the phones:
> 
> "When is the soonest available appointment I can get in?"
> 
> and I give them the date of the soonest appointment
> 
> and then they reply
> 
> "you don't have anything sooner?" 
> ...


Or when would you like to come in and they say anytime is good but you spend the next 10 freaking minutes discovering that anytime is not good at all!

----------


## becc971

> Or when would you like to come in and they say anytime is good but you spend the next 10 freaking minutes discovering that anytime is not good at all!


when i get patietns like that i give them two options and then say "clearly what i have isn't good for you, so i really need you to just narrow down a time that will work for you so i can find you the next available appointment"  

that little dance gets me like no other ... or "well i don't have my schedule with me so i'll have to call you back"  for real dude?  why did you call in the first place?????

----------


## Logan

I had someone ask me today, "Are these glasses bisexual?"

----------


## mervinek

> I had someone ask me today, "Are these glasses bisexual?"


 I've had that before.  Then I got the "Where are the unisex glasses?"  Turns out it was a guy in the middle of a sex change who wanted something that would work for before and after.  Interesting.

----------


## Joyley

We have Optomap; takes a picture of the inside of the eye.  I  get this patient lined up but she's a fast blinker. So I tell her I'll snap the photo on the count of three.

So I say:  "One, two- "click-flash." 

She says "I thought you said you'd count to three?"  I said I was trying to surprise her, catch her off guard by snapping it on two. (I figured she was anticipating the click-flash)

But alas, still get a picture of her eyelid. Okay, plan B:  I give the patient the control/clicker; sometimes they do better if they can take the photo themselves.

So I'm getting her lined up again, telling her that as soon as she's in position .....  

"CLICK-SNAP"

I'm like: uhhh, I didn't have you lined up.

She says, seriously:  Oh, I'm sorry, I was trying to surprise myself.

----------


## opty4062

> We have Optomap; takes a picture of the inside of the eye.  I  get this patient lined up but she's a fast blinker. So I tell her I'll snap the photo on the count of three.
> 
> So I say:  "One, two- "click-flash." 
> 
> She says "I thought you said you'd count to three?"  I said I was trying to surprise her, catch her off guard by snapping it on two. (I figured she was anticipating the click-flash)
> 
> But alas, still get a picture of her eyelid. Okay, plan B:  I give the patient the control/clicker; sometimes they do better if they can take the photo themselves.
> 
> So I'm getting her lined up again, telling her that as soon as she's in position .....  
> ...


THIS just made my day. I love how after explaining clearly that they have to not blink for just a few seconds, they continue to blink then blame me or the machine. It's the same people who want to sit back and ask a question or talk during a visual field test. 8)

----------


## doctor_who10

I get a lot of people who come in and say something like "I'm missing a screw, can you help me?" My response is always to say, without missing a beat "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're screwed."

----------


## D. Weeks

walk-in customer came in and asked:

customer: I have that spectacular insurance, do you take that?
me: do you mean Spectera?
customer: yeah, that one! 
me: oh law'd  :Frown:

----------


## AngeHamm

I love when this thread gets resurrected. One of these days I'm going to go back and re-read it from the top.

----------


## doctor_who10

This is the thread that will never die.

----------


## Slim

OUR 3PM APPT called this morning... "yeah, I woke up and my eye is really red, I need to reschedule....."

Wow,   AMAZING logic at work right there...  cancel the dr appt.  because your sick....

----------


## Joyley

Sometimes we get women in who CAN'T pick out a frame without their husband.  I had a lady in once and we picked out a pair that was very flattering, fit great and was under her budget. But she has to have hubby see them before she purchases them.

He comes in with her the next night. I kid you not: he proceeds to have her try on frames he is picking out-  ALL OF THEM MEN'S FRAMES!!!

What's with that!!!

----------


## becc971

> Sometimes we get women in who CAN'T pick out a frame without their husband.  I had a lady in once and we picked out a pair that was very flattering, fit great and was under her budget. But she has to have hubby see them before she purchases them.
> 
> He comes in with her the next night. I kid you not: he proceeds to have her try on frames he is picking out-  ALL OF THEM MEN'S FRAMES!!!
> 
> What's with that!!!



 :Furious:  i feel the same way when they say "oh i want to come back with someone to help me" ... umm that's what i'm here for chief.  then they bring their friends, and all they do is screw around for an hour trying on the most ridiculous stuff then accuse us of not having what she's looking for.  maybe leave it to the professionals mm'kay?

----------


## NCspecs

So apparently some of our patients really struggle with how the Optomap works. I guess they don't understand what we are trying to accomplish or they simply aren't listening. 

One man who was too busy gabbing to listen to the tech who was instructing him, turned around. leaned back, and started to whack the back of his head up against the eye piece. The Tech, startled, cried, "Eyes Mr. Smith! not brains. We are checking eyes today!"

Last week another patient sat down in front of the machine and tried to cover the entire eye piece with her mouth!!!! WTH???? I wish I was making this up!

----------


## Joyley

> Just wondering how and why a thread that is ridiculing the customers of a profession, can become one of the most successful ones on a public forum and just go on and on.


Probably because its REAL life stories. You just can't make this stuff up!

----------


## AngeHamm

I just had a patient come in to pick up her new glasses. Took off her old glasses to try on the new one and had a "Whoa!" response to her new 2.50 diopters of cylinder. I explained that, with that much astigmatism, it might be a bit of an adjustment to get used to the new RX. That's when I went to put her old glasses in her new case and saw that they were off-the-rack glasses with demo lenses in them.

I've seen people who don't need glasses wear them for fashion, but never before have I seen someone with a critical need for prescription eyewear walking around with non-prescription glasses.

----------


## doctor_who10

> I just had a patient come in to pick up her new glasses. Took off her old glasses to try on the new one and had a "Whoa!" response to her new 2.50 diopters of cylinder. I explained that, with that much astigmatism, it might be a bit of an adjustment to get used to the new RX. That's when I went to put her old glasses in her new case and saw that they were off-the-rack glasses with demo lenses in them.
> 
> I've seen people who don't need glasses wear them for fashion, but never before have I seen someone with a critical need for prescription eyewear walking around with non-prescription glasses.


That's actually frightening.  Did she come back saying her new glasses were too strong?

----------


## AngeHamm

> That's actually frightening.  Did she come back saying her new glasses were too strong?


Nope. Just walked out happy with her new lenses. I remain baffled.

----------


## doctor_who10

Thankfully, this one didn't happen to me, but a customer came in a while back and demanded that we return her glasses onto a different credit card from the one that had been used to purchase them.  When she was told that we wouldn't do that (because credit card fraud is slightly illegal) she began to yell at the manager.  Sometimes I wish I knew what went through these peoples' heads.

----------


## Joyley

This really isn't a question patient asked but...

Patient came in and needed her glasses adjusted. I proceeded to adjust them and she starts getting all excited. "Be careful, you're going to break them! Are you sure you know what you are doing??" she says loud enough for everyone in the dispensary to hear.

I sigh, stare at her for a minute, then say "Mom, I've been doing this a long, long time now. It's okay. They'll be fine."

(....yes, it really was my mother. You should have seen the other opticians trying not to laugh...)

----------


## AngeHamm

Classic!

----------


## Suburban Gal

Our insurance signature on file and acknowledgement of HIPPA receipt form is a laminated form that patients sign with an erasable marker. After they sign it with the marker,  I scan and upload it into their EHR (electronic health record). It then gets wiped it off and put it back on the clipboard for the next patient.

You should see some patients' faces when they're given the clipboard, told what it is, and instructed to sign it.

"You actually want me to sign this?"
"You've got to be kidding me! Really?"
"You want me to use what to sign it?"
"Do I really have to?"
"You want me to sign it like this?"
"Do I even have to sign it?"

 :Banghead:  SERIOUSLY?! Just sign already!

----------


## NCspecs

> Our insurance signature on file and acknowledgement of HIPPA receipt form is a laminated form that patients sign with an erasable marker. After they sign it with the marker, I scan and upload it into their EHR (electronic health record). It then gets wiped it off and put it back on the clipboard for the next patient.
> 
> You should see some patients' faces when they're given the clipboard, told what it is, and instructed to sign it.
> 
> "You actually want me to sign this?"
> "You've got to be kidding me! Really?"
> "You want me to use what to sign it?"
> "Do I really have to?"
> "You want me to sign it like this?"
> ...


Ah, dem Flatlanders are a trip, aren't de? ;)

----------


## Suburban Gal

> Ah, dem Flatlanders are a trip, aren't de? ;)


I usually just tell them that's how it was when I got here and if it makes them feel better other providers are doing this as well. (It's how my new dentist makes their patients sign it.)

----------


## Suburban Gal

Oh, we recently had a patient who wanted to be put in plastic lenses. When we told the patient we were putting the patient into polycarb, the patient asked, "That's a plastic lens, right?"  The patient had just been told 2 seconds earlier that polycarb was a versatile, tough plastic.

----------


## standarduck

> Oh, we recently had a patient who wanted to be put in plastic lenses. When we told the patient we were putting the patient into polycarb, the patient asked, "That's a plastic lens, right?"  The patient had just been told 2 seconds earlier that polycarb was a versatile, tough plastic.


Thermoplastic may have been a step too far  :Tongue:

----------


## abberated

> Sometimes we get women in who CAN'T pick out a frame without their husband.  I had a lady in once and we picked out a pair that was very flattering, fit great and was under her budget. But she has to have hubby see them before she purchases them.
> 
> He comes in with her the next night. I kid you not: he proceeds to have her try on frames he is picking out-  ALL OF THEM MEN'S FRAMES!!!
> 
> What's with that!!!


I always reply...
Oh!  Is your husband/wife an optician? 

Just sayin.

----------


## WFruit

"If I put the prism on the order as Up and Down, will the lab know that it's vertical prism?"

----------


## waynegilpin

Valid question.  Suppose the pt is lying on their side.  Then the prism is no longer vertical!   But wait, then the prism is no longer up and down. :Unsure:  So how do I tell the lab that I want vertical prism most of the time, but not when the pt. is lying down? :Confused:   And how about if they're lying on their right side vs. their left side? :Furious:   If it was up OD and down OS, is it now down OD and up OS?  But when they're lying down, they're probably going to go to sleep and have taken their glasses off anyways.  OK, problem solved. :Smile:   But wait, do they have double vision when their eyes are closed?  What about during their dreams? :Stomp:  

I need a drink. :Happy:

----------


## uncut

> Valid question.  Suppose the pt is lying on their side.  Then the prism is no longer vertical!   But wait, then the prism is no longer up and down. So how do I tell the lab that I want vertical prism most of the time, but not when the pt. is lying down?  And how about if they're lying on their right side vs. their left side?  If it was up OD and down OS, is it now down OD and up OS?  But when they're lying down, they're probably going to go to sleep and have taken their glasses off anyways.  OK, problem solved.  But wait, do they have double vision when their eyes are closed?  What about during their dreams? 
> 
> I need a drink.


Colorado ski trip during Christmas break, Wayne? :Wink:

----------


## waynegilpin

> Colorado ski trip during Christmas break, Wayne?


Very subtle uncut.  Took me a few hours to get the "Rocky Mountain High" reference.  I like that kind of humor.  It did give me the munchies though. :Wink:

----------


## Uncle Fester

From an Eye Med patient who's history is sensitive to progressive design change so opted to private pay for the glasses...one month after pick up...perfectly happy with how they look and perform...

"Why didn't you tell me not to buy these glasses?"   :Banghead:

----------


## cowboytelemark

> I always reply...
> Oh!  Is your husband/wife an optician? 
> 
> Just sayin.


He must be trying to fend off the competition.

----------


## Joyley

> I had someone ask me today, "Are these glasses bisexual?"




I had someone ask how you can tell if it's a female frame or a male frame. 

Without changing the serious look on my face, I told them to look under the temples pieces.

She just stood there for a moment, but hubby got it right away and laughed.

----------


## ex-optician

My favorite is when someone walks the perimeter of your frame displays containing several hundred choices in 10 seconds and then asks " is that all you have?" :Rolleyes:

----------


## opty4062

I've had a couple of patients lately who obviously had ordered/thought about ordering specs online and had measured their own PD or had it from a previous RX. What these people thought the PD was, was the A measurement of the frames. A'la: "Ahem, yes...I wear a 57.5 frame, can you show me some in that size?"
So when I tried to explain the measurements, one of these folks thought I was just lying because I knew he could get a better price online for exactly the right size. *sigh*

----------


## vcom

We sometimes do custom shapes with our drill-mount frames, and one gentleman in particular loves the idea.  However, conversation pretty much goes like this:

Guy says, "I want glasses shaped like a stop sign.  Only more round.  But bigger.  Like a stop sign, but shaped more of a circle.  Make sure they are tall, y'know, up and down, but more wide.  You know what I mean.

A few blinks and a deep breath later, I started drawing pictures, until I found exactly what he wanted;  A stop sign.

He picked them up and loved them... for about a week.  He just came in wanting me to adjust the shape.

Guy says, "I want them exactly the same shape, only shorter.  And my next pair I think I want triangles, only more square."

----------


## eyeman56

We warranty against Manufacturers defects, NOT abuse. Wrestling with sibs/friends is NOT a fault of the frame. We bend from time to time but only as a one time exception.

----------


## danielcsl88

I had 1 customer recently with prescriptions of OD: -6.00 -2.50 x 170 OS: -6.00 -2.50 x 10 came to my place and order a 1.67 lens with new frame. She keeps complaining about the thickness and her eyes look smaller in this new lens. Her old prescriptions is OD: -5.50 -2.50 x 170 OS: -5.50 -2.50 x 10 she is using 1.6 on her old glasses. i told her due to the old frame is smaller than the new one so it will be a bit more thicker even if its 1.67 index but she just can't accept it. She said that after so long time of wearing glasses this is the first time she wear lens that so thick and make her eyes so small. I've been wondering why just don't do a 1.74 index lens you are the one who want cheap lens but wanna complain the hell out. I show her new glasses to all my Lab friends here they all says that it's very thin as the prescriptions is quite high.

----------


## doctor_who10

We had a customer come in the other day who insisted that we'd given her a set of defective sun lenses.  According to her, there was a green spot on the lens.  After checking the lenses thoroughly, I couldn't find anything.  I asked her when she saw the spot, and her response? "Only when I look directly into the sun."
...what.

----------


## SeaU2020

I had a man come in wearing a cheater reader complaining that "these glasses I made for him" don't work. I finally convinced him these are NOT the glasses he got from me. HIS had a full-metal frame, not semi-rimless and HIS had a bifocal....also real prescription glasses never have the power printed on the temple. 
He comes back in wearing a plastic cheater (with a triumphant look on his face) a while later saying THIS is the bad pair. Here we go again.....

----------


## kjandre2020

Haven't read through all the posts so this might have been brought up before. The all time classic question. Patient with state insurance asks where they can choose there free frame from for there BOGO glasses.......really!!!!!!! It's buy one get one free not get one get one free!!!!!!

----------


## AngeHamm

My current pet peeve is the patient who asks, "What color is this?" about every frame they try on. Did they not teach you your colors in kindergarten? Also, if I call it "aubergine" instead of "purple," is that really going to change how you like the way they look?

----------


## EyeManDan

you wouldn't believe how much easier to sell a frame with light blue on it by calling it "Tiffany Blue".  People like to feel special, and they are.

----------


## m0002a

> My current pet peeve is the patient who asks, "What color is this?" about every frame they try on. Did they not teach you your colors in kindergarten? Also, if I call it "aubergine" instead of "purple," is that really going to change how you like the way they look?


There are a lot more color blind people in the world than you might suspect. Also, indoor lighting can greatly affect colors. I have a very hard time figuring out which pants are black and which are dark blue when I get dressed. But when I get outside, it becomes rather obvious.

----------


## opty4062

Hey y'all. I had one today that I'd like to nominate to the Hall of Fame. It's not so much stupid as just well...you tell me.


Took a very grumpy 87 year old woman back today to check her VA before the doc was going to see her. After small talk revealed to her that I am married with children, this was her question:

"When you and your husband make love, do you find you censor yourself in volume or activity to prevent the children from knowing what you are doing?"

And with that, my friends, I WIN THE INTERNET, at least for today.

----------


## optilady1

> Hey y'all. I had one today that I'd like to nominate to the Hall of Fame. It's not so much stupid as just well...you tell me.
> 
> 
> Took a very grumpy 87 year old woman back today to check her VA before the doc was going to see her. After small talk revealed to her that I am married with children, this was her question:
> 
> "When you and your husband make love, do you find you censor yourself in volume or activity to prevent the children from knowing what you are doing?"
> 
> And with that, my friends, I WIN THE INTERNET, at least for today.


so. gross.

----------


## Bey Patrick

Can you put a "Transition Tint" into my old lens???
So that they can be transitional lenses??

----------


## fjpod

Can I get those Variflux transmissionals with Crystal Light?  I have stigma, you know.

----------


## EyeSore

Pt.  Does this case come in any other color other than black 
Me  No 
Pt. Does it come in blue

----------


## cowboytelemark

> Can you put a "Transition Tint" into my old lens???
> So that they can be transitional lenses??


This actually isn't a dumb question.  It just illustrates that opticians often do a poor job of educating patients on how a photochromic lens works.

----------


## cowboytelemark

> My current pet peeve is the patient who asks, "What color is this?" about every frame they try on. Did they not teach you your colors in kindergarten? Also, if I call it "aubergine" instead of "purple," is that really going to change how you like the way they look?


I agree with EyeManDan, people want to feel unique.  So call it something interesting :).  My pet peave is people who try on a frame that looks great on them, then say something like, "I love this frame, it is a great color.  What other colors does it come in?  Will you order them in for me?"

----------


## CLaughner

When you changed the nose pads all my tint fell out! SMH

----------


## SeaU2020

A customer called us the other day and said she was having TERRIBLE diarrhea and she wanted to know if we had a chair she could "borrow" because she didn't want to stain her furniture!

"I'm sorry, we don't have any chairs like that here" was the reply.

 #still cannot believe it#regular customer #off her rocker

----------


## Outkast

"Can you take these lenses and grind me a few sets of contact lenses out of them?" Dead serious...

----------


## Aarlan

Have a decent one from a recent encounter my frazzled Optician shared with me:
Pt called mad as He!!.    She was furious that the bifocal FELL OFF of her spectacles.   It was there one week, now it's gone.    Woman is a bit older, but still a nice woman in the office all the times I've seen her.  ABSOLUTELY ADAMANT THE FELL OFF!!!!, and How dare we sell glasses where the bifocal can fall off.

Comes in with the pair in question...old set of +2.00 readers from drug store...her real bifocal pair was deeper in the purse....

----------


## EyeManDan

The best I had is a mother who picked up her daughters glasses who was away at school.  She came in to weeks later wanting to know why the daughter could not see out of the glasses and the frame was not the one picked out.  After checking invoices, orders calling labs and such, it turned out that the pair of glasses belonged to the mother.  When I said that the glasses were hers and not her daughters she was kind claimed she didn't wear glasses.  She purchased 2 pairs six months ago and gets 2 pairs dv/nv every 2 years for the past 10 years.

----------


## CGalloway

These have all given me quite a laugh!  My recent favorite quote is:

Do you take cash? To which I chuckled and replied yes.  The patient then said..."well you see those signs everywhere that say "no cash on premises"...really??? :Eek:

----------


## m0002a

> These have all given me quite a laugh!  My recent favorite quote is:
> Do you take cash? To which I chuckled and replied yes.  The patient then said..."well you see those signs everywhere that say "no cash on premises"...really???


I think it was a perfectly reasonable question given the signs you posted, and it was rude to laugh at your customer.

----------


## CGalloway

Oh and also from a budget optical...

Patient received a reading only rx from our ophthalmologist and presented it for filling at a budget optical..it was labelled as reading only...budget optical calls our office to ask for add power on rx...seriously?? :Frown:

----------


## CGalloway

> I think it was a perfectly reasonable question given the signs you posted, and it was rude to laugh at your customer.


We have no signs posted...she was referring to other businesses she had seen them in...m0002a here's your sign.

----------


## CGalloway

Perhaps you should have read more closely when I typed "those signs everywhere" I was not referring to all over the walls at our office...the pun here is she thought those signs meant no cash was accepted...bless your heart as we say in the south  :Wink:

----------


## m0002a

> We have no signs posted...she was referring to other businesses she had seen them in...m0002a here's your sign.


I don't think your original post was clear on that.

----------


## m0002a

> Perhaps you should have read more closely when I typed "those signs everywhere" I was not referring to all over the walls at our office...the pun here is she thought those signs meant no cash was accepted...bless your heart as we say in the south


I am guessing that your customer got a little rattled when you ridiculed them for asking if you took cash. Aside from the comment about signs elsewhere that no cash is accepted, it was a reasonable question IMO. How many patients do you have that pay cash?

----------


## waynegilpin

> These have all given me quite a laugh!  My recent favorite quote is:
> 
> Do you take cash? To which I chuckled and replied yes.  The patient then said..."well you see those signs everywhere that say "no cash on premises"...really???


Only if the cash is green and says "In God we trust" on the back.

----------


## CGalloway

Okay, first I did NOT ridicule my patient and she was not rattled.  She is an awesome lady who obviously did not understand the signs she had seen.  And for the record I have a few patients who pay in cash.  Thanks for the warm welcome to Optiboard.  I have been accused of ridiculing patients and being rude by someone who wasn't even there.  I have been a licensed optician for 28 years and have never been intentionally disrespectful.  m0002a, take a deep breath and move along

----------


## CGalloway

> Only if the cash is green and says "In God we trust" on the back.


+1

----------


## EyeSore

> "Can you take these lenses and grind me a few sets of contact lenses out of them?" Dead serious...


 We sure can but it'll cost ya.. :)

----------


## AdmiralKnight

> A customer called us the other day and said she was having TERRIBLE diarrhea and she wanted to know if we had a chair she could "borrow" because she didn't want to stain her furniture!
> 
> "I'm sorry, we don't have any chairs like that here" was the reply.
> 
>  #still cannot believe it*#regular customer* #off her rocker


Oh you.  :Giggle:

----------


## jakesd

I will have to remember this thread when i get some of these questions. Especially the irate customers and I need a good laugh.

I didnt read the whole thing, but I love it when a patient comes in 6 months or later and says, "I never could wear these glasses. I just want my money back."

----------


## Gizzo

> Chip, that is awful to hear that things like that are still happening today where everybody talks high end glasses and lenses and then are not ables to do the basic adjustments when delivering the job.


+1, friend...

----------


## bwarren

I had very old,hard of hearing patient come in with her home aid. I was going over cleaning and gave her a cloth when the aid starts yelling you can use your old underwear to clean the lenses. Then the aid turns to me "underwear is a soft cotton so that should be fine right?" Then the aid start yelling it again and asked me to tell her it's ok to use old underwear for cleaning her glasses:) This is right next to the waiting room:)

----------


## Blunder Woman

> I had very old,hard of hearing patient come in with her home aid. I was going over cleaning and gave her a cloth when the aid starts yelling you can use your old underwear to clean the lenses. Then the aid turns to me "underwear is a soft cotton so that should be fine right?" Then the aid start yelling it again and asked me to tell her it's ok to use old underwear for cleaning her glasses:) This is right next to the waiting room:)


This just made me snort out loud at the front desk. Thanks a lot.

----------


## optilady1

How's this for a stupid question:  why don't you just use Craig's list to find a baby sitter?  Uh, yeah. Ok.

----------


## BP3

When patients put on these Hipster-esque GIANT frames and ask "can you fit a progressive lens in these?"

Ma'am or Sir, I can practically serve dinner on those lenses.

----------


## NCspecs

> When patients put on these Hipster-esque GIANT frames and ask "can you fit a progressive lens in these?"
> 
> Ma'am or Sir, I can practically serve dinner on those lenses.


I usually say, "Yes, I can park a Cadillac in that frame...."

----------


## COMEINPEACE

How about people that come in for DMV eye screening/state vision form
they see 20/100 uncorrected, but  dont want glasses on their drvr lic

but i only drive locally
but i only drive in the day time
but its only for id purposes
let me go home and takle a nap ,im tired now and cant see good(read 20/150)..he was a cab driver...lol

one 28yr old actually said(and i swear this is true)..i didnt practice my alphabet all week...
can i take it again tomorrow?(he also saw 20/100 uncorrected)....forgot to mention,one of my girls was is the back having a sandwich,and heard this....she almost spit up all her food laughing so hard :Bounce: !!

----------


## gmc

> How about people that come in for DMV eye screening/state vision form
> they see 20/100 uncorrected, but  dont want glasses on their drvr lic


We have had people come in and buy glasses for their DMV test and return them immediately after passing the screening. If we know it ahead of time, we tell them no returns on this order.

----------


## COMEINPEACE

I HAVE gone through(35 yrs in bus) countless part time high school/college girls.... many of these students have actually changed their major to psych/psychol after working here and seeing the demand for this kind of profession......more than the ones continuing with optical degrees lol!!!
AND YES THIS IS VERY TRUE

----------


## mervinek

> How's this for a stupid question:  why don't you just use Craig's list to find a baby sitter?  Uh, yeah. Ok.


 I just saw this and it reminded me of when my neighbor (who does not have children) recommended we hire the other neighbor's dog walker to babysit my daughter.  She said he was really good and even gave the dog it's meds.  Hmmmm

----------


## eyecarediva

My favorite, especially from older patients is: Can I put my "Medicine" in these frames.  OR, is the Doctor going to Dilute my eyes.

----------


## nicksims

Patient wants the doc to write the rx so as to continue with the prism currently in her glasses (made elsewhere- first time patient here). I read lenses, no vertical prism, then confirmed that there is no horizontal prism. She is confused by this, but the reason for the prism? When she was in the desert not too long ago she caught amblyopia.

----------


## mervinek

> Patient wants the doc to write the rx so as to continue with the prism currently in her glasses (made elsewhere- first time patient here). I read lenses, no vertical prism, then confirmed that there is no horizontal prism. She is confused by this, but the reason for the prism? When she was in the desert not too long ago she caught amblyopia.


Ahh yes..  I used to live in Phoenix area...amblyopia was in the air.  Now I try to avoid amblyopia season.  Don't want to catch that!

----------


## iD

my favorite is when the lenses have the logo of the company who makes them...."will that still be there when you order my new glasses?"

----------


## rdcoach5

What progressive goes all the way across the lens ?

----------


## BP3

Our when a patient "pours" the pieces of a broken lens into your hand and says "can you fix this?"

----------


## lensguy

> *I HAVE gone through(35 yrs in bus) countless part time high school/college girls*.... many of these students have actually changed their major to psych/psychol after working here and seeing the demand for this kind of profession......more than the ones continuing with optical degrees lol!!!
> AND YES THIS IS VERY TRUE


Me too!  Ahh the fond memories of being young.......... :Cool:

----------


## CCGREEN

> Ahh yes..  I used to live in Phoenix area...amblyopia was in the air.  Now I try to avoid amblyopia season.  Don't want to catch that!


So that's the issues with my in-laws in Phoenix. They have caught amblyopia. And here I thought it was me. I'm in Florida. Wonder whats in the air here?

----------


## Boldt

I had multiple people ask me not to tilt the frames because the meds would flow out. I had to walk to the back each time so I could laugh and not get in trouble.

----------


## RTaucher

No, they are not. LOL

----------


## optician2601

> I had multiple people ask me not to tilt the frames because the meds would flow out. I had to walk to the back each time so I could laugh and not get in trouble.


LOL omg that is a good one!

----------


## optician2601

Patient tries on frames with demo lenses, and says "i cant see with these glasses." Umm, you are choosing frames now, then we have to put prescription lenses in them.

----------


## Mizikal

I have had this conversation with many patients over the years

paitent: Do you take my ACME insurance?

Me: No I am sorry that is not one I can file.

Paitnet: Are you sure?

Me: Yes , we can many insurances unfortunatly ACME is not one of the plans we are contracted with.

Patient: Could you try and run it?

ME: I don't have a way of running it we either take an insurance or we don't and this is a plan we don't take.

Patient: Do you know who does take it?

Me: I don't I am sorry but they have a customer service number on the card you could call and find a provider.

Patient: Oh, okay so I just give you this number and you can call and let me know?

Me; No you will need to call they will want to talk with you. Most plans wont talk to me if I am not a provider.(a white lie)

Patient: Fine whatever. (stomps out of shop)

This conversation doesn't always start with them knowing they have insurance let alone what its called. I know I am not the only that can relate to this.

----------


## waynegilpin

Oh yea!

Pt:  "What insurances do you take?"

Me:  "Let's make this easier on both of us.  What insurance to you have?" :Furious:

----------


## Mizikal

> Oh yea!
> 
> Pt: "What insurances do you take?"
> 
> Me: "Let's make this easier on both of us. What insurance to you have?"


I don't know. Cann't you just look me up?

----------


## Wes

> Oh yea!
> 
> Pt:  "What insurances do you take?"
> 
> Me:  "Let's make this easier on both of us.  What insurance to you have?"


Would you like the list arranged alphabetically?

----------


## becc971

Patient:  so i need to come back in and get my glasses measured again right? 

Me:  nope we just made some in june so you should be all set

Patient: right but i've lost some weight. 


 :Unsure:

----------


## ioptical72

> Okay, first I did NOT ridicule my patient and she was not rattled.  She is an awesome lady who obviously did not understand the signs she had seen.  And for the record I have a few patients who pay in cash.  Thanks for the warm welcome to Optiboard.  I have been accused of ridiculing patients and being rude by someone who wasn't even there.  I have been a licensed optician for 28 years and have never been intentionally disrespectful.  m0002a, take a deep breath and move along



Some people have no sense of humor.... I got it...  and yours goes along with....Do you sell glasses??? Nope.  I just have them here for looks.  Or as my son said  " you rent them"...

----------


## Optigman

With the straightest face possible an older female patient asks, "Do these glasses look comfortable?" For once I was left without a single snarky remark...completely speechless.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

I should show them a combination frame and say. "I have some metal frames that comes in all metal and I have some metal frames that has some plastic on it. Unfortunately, I don't have metal frames that come in plastic. Would you like to try what I have?"

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> I Still Get A Headache When I Try To Figure Out What She Was Looking For When A Customer Asked  " Do Metal Frames Come In Plastic ? "


I would show them a combination frame and say. "I have some metal frames that comes in all metal and I have this metal frames that has some plastic . Unfortunately, I don't have metal frames that come in plastic. Would you like to try on what I have?"

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> My personal favorite is "Is the obsetritian in today?":hammer:


No, Obsetritian here. But, if you'd like I could schedule you an appointment with the Optometrist.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Do you change watch batteries?


Nope, but you could ask the watch repair shop up the block and maybe they will be able to assist you.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Can you tighten my arms please


Lol, I am sure that would be classified as assault.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> I know these glasses aren't right because I can't see out of them, and neither can my wife !  
> 
> 
> :hammer: :hammer:



Me: I am sorry to hear that you can not see out of your glasses. We will be more than happy to assist you. Oh and by the way, please inform your wife that it is highly recommended that she wears her own.

Patient: My wife has 20/20 vision. She doesn't wear glasses.

Me: That explains it.

Patient: Explains what?

Me: Why your wife can not see out of your prescription glasses.

Patient: My glasses have prescription in it ???

Me:  :Confused:  :Help:

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> _Patient puts specs on dispensing table and points out that one temple is a little higher than the other....._"My glasses are crooked. Can you fix that?"


Sure, let me find a hammer and straighten it out for you.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> *Walks into the office full of inventory.  Looks us straight in the eye and asks "do you guys sell glasses?"


Nope, all these frames are up here for show.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> I'm new in my office, and the patients don't know me yet. Add to that that I am a little bit younger, and many of them don't believe that I am qualified. Some of them even refuse to let me help them, and insist on being seen by the other optician. The most common question I hear is, "I need to get my prescription filled. Do you know how to do that?"
> 
> :angry:
> 
> 
> I guess several years full time experience and ABO certification isn't enough.


Lady Nicole, that will never change. The younger you are the less qualified you are - is their psyche. You could do everything right for them, trying to prove your worth and qualifications but the most Senior optician can efff up once big time and they made just one little mistake. 
Never tell or show your age. Be or be perceived as older every time when dealing with your patient and periodically hinting to them the various levels of skills you have learned over many years of being in the field- all in one interaction. They will never again question your authority. Don't wait to the last minute to take lead. Take lead from minute #1.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> What about this:  The medicine ran out of my glasses.   I think that one is an ethnic maybe even geographical one, but I get it from time to time-- down here in the South :)
> 
> 
> Paula


It's not ethnic or geographical. It is the prescribing doctors responsibility to inform the patient and give the basic information about their prescription and routine care. It's their responsibility to inform the patient that it's the eyes that changes not the prescribed lenses.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> I can't believe it.  All of these professional opticians and nobody has mentioned the best one of all..... How much is a screw?


10,000 COD, No checks or IOUs

----------


## OptifiedNikki

OMG OMG ... Someone just now just came in and asked me "Do I need glasses?" This is the first time we have met.

----------


## waynegilpin

> OMG OMG ... Someone just now just came in and asked me "Do I need glasses?" This is the first time we have met.


Geez, of course they do.   That's like asking a barber  if you need a haircut. :Devil:

----------


## newguyaroundhere

Patient: "I would like to purchase contact lenses"

Me: "Ok do you have a prescription for them?"

Patient: "No"

Me: "Have you had an eye exam for contact lenses?"

Patient: "No"

Me: "Have you ever worn contact lenses before?"

Patient: "No"

Me: "When was your last eye exam?"

Patient: "About 3 years ago"

Me: "Well sir, we would need to schedule you for an eye examination to bring your prescription up to date and to be able to fit you with contact lenses"

Patient: "Well cant you just take the prescription off of these and give me contact lenses?"

*hands me glasses that look like they have been through hell and back*

Me:  :Stomp:

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Patient: "I would like to purchase contact lenses"
> 
> Me: "Ok do you have a prescription for them?"
> 
> Patient: "No"
> 
> Me: "Have you had an eye exam for contact lenses?"
> 
> Patient: "No"
> ...


Like .... uh .... why me?

Because if I did take the prescription off your 3 year old glasses for some contacts that you have never been fitted for and just let you purchase it before the doctor gives the okay. You'll be back in here complaining about headaches after bumping into a quite a few moving cars.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

BTW, is it common that a contact lens patient who is clearly in the contact lens fitting procedure phase with another provider, come to you trying to order revenue boxes with empty trial lens packs of an Rx that was never really finalize.  

Or better yet ... after a fitting you give them a trial set of lenses and INFORM them/ INSTRUCT them to come back in a week for a follow-up to finalize their prescription. They are a no show to their followup appointment. You play Marco Polo with them for the next two weeks. Finally they respond and tell you they are coming in. Months pass and they never did. Out of the blue you get a call from them asking if they could order a new set of lenses because the lens they have been wearing (a two week lens, worn daily over a period of 6 to 8 months, wth) are making their eyes itchy, teary and the lenses never get cleaned. 

Conversation goes a little like this ...

Me: Ms >>>>, the lenses you have are only trial lenses. They are good for only two weeks of daily use. We fitted you for these lenses 6 months ago. The prescription had to be finalized and you were scheduled to come in a week from your exam.

Patient: I was ???

Me: Yes, you were a no show to that appointment and we couldn't reach you until you called us trying purchase contact lenses the first time. It was then that you committed to coming in so that we could give you a fresh trial lens. But, you didn't come in that day either. What happened?

Patient: Ooooh, I was really supposed to come in ??? 

Me: Yes

Patient: I thought that the lenses you gave me were my actual lenses.

Me: No, they weren't and we explain this several times before.

Patient: Oooooh ... (pause) Well, can I order them anyway.

Me:  :Spin:

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Geez, of course they do.   That's like asking a barber  if you need a haircut.


Perhaps, if I saw her bump into the wall on the way in. I probably would be justified in telling her she needs glasses. (not before asking her if she's okay, of course)

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Would you like the list arranged alphabetically?


Or numerically?

----------


## kdw613

I work in an MD's office...still stupifies me, when we ask to see their their current glasses...and the reply is: "I did not bring them, I only wear them to watch TV and movies as things that far away are blurry"....scary...

Yesterday, a woman called to make an appointment, then said "Wait a minute" as she then proceeded to order drive thru for her family and apparently the entire neighborhood. After the third burger without lettuce, extra pickle, double cheese and cooked crispy...I hung up on her...

----------


## COMEINPEACE

no one had ever mentioned interacting with ALL OF THE ABOVE CHARACTERS , ......AFTER THE PROSPECTIVE PATIENT HAS JUST HAD AN ONION/GARLIC SANDWICH and smoked a pack of cigs :Eek:

----------


## jcasowder

> no one had ever mentioned interacting with ALL OF THE ABOVE CHARACTERS , ......AFTER THE PROSPECTIVE PATIENT HAS JUST HAD AN ONION/GARLIC SANDWICH and smoked a pack of cigs


Or with booze on their breath...

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> I work in an MD's office...still stupifies me, when we ask to see their their current glasses...and the reply is: "I did not bring them, I only wear them to watch TV and movies as things that far away are blurry"....scary...
> 
> Yesterday, a woman called to make an appointment, then said "Wait a minute" as she then proceeded to order drive thru for her family and apparently the entire neighborhood. After the third burger without lettuce, extra pickle, double cheese and cooked crispy...I hung up on her...


NICE! And, she had the nerve to not offer to buy you some. DAM PEOPLE!!!

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> no one had ever mentioned interacting with ALL OF THE ABOVE CHARACTERS , ......AFTER THE PROSPECTIVE PATIENT HAS JUST HAD AN ONION/GARLIC SANDWICH and smoked a pack of cigs


Nose hair burner breath.

That's all I'm saying to that.

----------


## OptifiedNikki

> Or with booze on their breath...


Nose hair burner, pass out and wake up on a sidewalk in another city and neighborhood breath

----------


## OptifiedNikki

What I don't get is ... when you could smell their most innermost secrets from across the room. Everyone smells it, everyone knows its them but they are completely obliviously. After the examination (we pray for the Doctor), everyone runs off to take breaks, call patients, do filing, and other b.s that they really don't have to do, all the customers that were there are done and gone ... and you're the one that has to save the day. 

I've been told that my face shows tale tell signs of exactly how I feel or would say. Now ... I'll leave it to your imagination.

----------


## newguyaroundhere

Customer comes in. She has been in here multiple times trying to decide on what she wants to get for eyeglasses but is very indecisive. Turns to me and asked:

"I know this is a stupid question, but do you guys lend out frames to patients to try on at home for a night or two?"

My Response: "No."

What I should have said: "Sure! As long as you pay the pretty amount written on the tag, you can go home and try them out as long as you wish!"

 :Help:

----------


## Uncle Fester

Actually a lot of us will!

Take a credit card # and tell them you unleash the leg-breaker if they don't come back in "x" days. With a smile of course!!!

----------


## becc971

> Customer comes in. She has been in here multiple times trying to decide on what she wants to get for eyeglasses but is very indecisive. Turns to me and asked:
> 
> "I know this is a stupid question, but do you guys lend out frames to patients to try on at home for a night or two?"
> 
> My Response: "No."
> 
> What I should have said: "Sure! As long as you pay the pretty amount written on the tag, you can go home and try them out as long as you wish!"


I had a woman do this to me, and i said absolutely we will but we need to have a credit card on file and we will charge it the full retail amount if they aren't returned in 14 days.  

she says: "well i don't make i ta habit to just have my credit card floating around that makes me a little nervous" 

I said:  "right but it also makes us a little nervous having a $200 frame leaving the office with no way to ever get payment for it" 

haha people are NUTS

----------


## CME4SPECS

I have let people take frames home on several occasions. Just put in their credit card and when they return them just credit it. 9 times out of 10 you will be crediting every frame they took home, because no one at home will like them.

----------


## COMEINPEACE

we let our 'regulars' take them home all the time
one regular actually kept them for a month...when i made them and she returned a few days later to pick them up, she actually said these are not the frames i picked out :Eek: !!!
it is the nature of our business i guess..this is the bushiness we have chosen michael(hymen roth quote)

----------


## MarcelTheunissen

How much is your eye test? Is it for both eyes?

----------


## MarcelTheunissen

Do you sell generic Ray Bans? You know the cheaper ones?

----------


## Uncle Fester

> How much is your eye test? Is it for both eyes?


Welcome to Optiboard Marcel! 

I hear South Africa is especially beautiful in the fall.

----------


## Øye

I will read this thread anytime I need to gather my sanity! Great stories, everyone. Glad I joined the forum. :D

I think my all-time favorite is when a patient told me she had "a Stigmata" in her eye... my coworker blurted out, "the signs of Christ on the cross?!"

----------


## Dirk

I began my illustrious career 20 years ago in a small town, working in a optical shop. 
We ordered a pair of multifocals for an elderly man, he wanted these fitted in his own frame. When the lenses arrived, the man came in to drop off his frame. He asked me to show him the uncut round lenses, so I did. He took one in his hand and placed it in front of his right eye and said; " I can`t see a damned thing!''
He ran out of the store before I could explain to him that he had placed the wrong lens in front of his eye and that a PAL has to be positioned perfectly. He almost broke the lens when he slammed it on the counter. 
We never saw him again.

----------


## Mizikal

Do you carry the Miralax frames?  I have been asked this many times and I still find it funny.

----------


## Dustin.B

"So, since your putting new lenses in these old frames I can use your BOGO promotion to put lenses in another set I have at home?"
No Ma'am, you have to purchase a whole set, Frames and Lenses.
"I did buy these frames."
Here Ma'am, you have to buy them here.
"I did buy them here"  (What she wont admit is that those frames are 8 years old...)
I'm sorry Ma'am, that's not how our promotion works. I'm not going to give you a free set of lenses unless you purchase a complete set as per the terms.
"That's False advertising! That's illegal! I'm going to call Davis (Insurance) and tell them the illegal things your doing here!"

To note, our ad does say "Complete set" and I'm really confused why she would call Davis Vision seeing as she doesn't even have insurance and they have no bearing on my office at all...

----------


## becc971

I've had this conversation multiple times in the past few weeks, must be a full moon!

Me:  "So your prescription is written as a bi-focal, were you thinking with a line?  without a line?"
Patient:  "well I don't need them to see, I just need them to read."

ummmmm ....   :Rolleyes:

----------


## EyeManDan

Keep in mind that what transpired here was the last patient of a busy day.

The patient is looking for new glasses, and is very cheap.  He was looking to stay within the allowances allowed by insurance or keep copays low. Complaining to me about the copays like I can fix that.
I was explaining to him about going with a full frame so he doesn't have to pay for a poly upgrade with VSP.
He as "why poly in a semi rimless."
told him its a tougher material, going to be more impact resistant in that style of frame.

He replied.  "wouldn't I want that, what if I was driving and something came through my windshield?"

Now being a professional I always make the patient feel as comfortable as possible. never tell them they are wrong and such.
all I could say was "I have never been asked or even thought of that"
But I feel from his reaction that the look on my face said something entirely different.

----------


## Addie Johnson

> I'm new in my office, and the patients don't know me yet. Add to that that I am a little bit younger, and many of them don't believe that I am qualified. Some of them even refuse to let me help them, and insist on being seen by the other optician. The most common question I hear is, "I need to get my prescription filled. Do you know how to do that?"
> 
> :angry:
> 
> I guess several years full time experience and ABO certification isn't enough.


I am also younger, but I am also their only optician to work with besides one of the owners that is not often in the shop. The frame selection process is my favorite part of the job, but it's hard when an older woman shoots down everything you pick out for her because "Well, you're just young and everything looks good on you." Nevermind that I'm giving her frames for HER to try on and leaving myself completely out of the equation!

Also, it's especially difficult when people come in asking for products they know nothing about. "Do you carry [X Brand/ X type] lenses?" Well, yes, I can put you in that lens if your prescription calls for it Some people read things online or hear technical terms, and simply repeat them without knowing what the heck they're talking about.

----------


## Addie Johnson

> I always reply...
> Oh!  Is your husband/wife an optician? 
> 
> Just sayin.


UGH!!! I've had returns happen JUST because the husband didn't like them. C'MON!! Maybe I'm just a woman of modern morals, but if I spent over an hour looking for a beautiful pair of frames, paid for them, waited 2 weeks to have them finished, and my husband didn't like them I would simply remind him how lucky he is to not have to wear them!

So frustrating.  :Timebomb:

----------


## AngeHamm

> UGH!!! I've had returns happen JUST because the husband didn't like them. C'MON!! Maybe I'm just a woman of modern morals, but if I spent over an hour looking for a beautiful pair of frames, paid for them, waited 2 weeks to have them finished, and my husband didn't like them… I would simply remind him how lucky he is to not have to wear them!
> 
> So frustrating.


+1. Ridiculous. Be an individual.

----------


## standarduck

Boy am I glad we don't accept BS reasons like that for returning specs. If they don't work we sort it. If you change your mind and want a different frame with new lenses, you can buy them.

----------


## cowboytelemark

> I am also younger... The frame selection process is my favorite part of the job, but it's hard when an older woman shoots down everything you pick out for her because "Well, you're just young and everything looks good on you." Nevermind that I'm giving her frames for HER to try on and leaving myself completely out of the equation!


At least you are a woman.  As a man, I get written off pretty fast by a lot of the older women.  And men for that matter.  They will go ask the receptionists what they think of frames.  Usually the receptionist gives them the same answer I would have.  Whatever.  People have their little stereotypes.  When someone picks an ugly or poorly fitting frame and disregards my advice, I have to remind myself that hey, I got that danged frame off the board!  Silver lining.

----------


## Java99

> Also, it's especially difficult when people come in asking for products they know nothing about. "Do you carry [X Brand/ X type] lenses?" Well, yes, I can put you in that lens if your prescription calls for it… Some people read things online or hear technical terms, and simply repeat them without knowing what the heck they're talking about.


This is where you get to show them that, as a professional, you can help them sort all that information out.

----------


## Java99

> Also, it's especially difficult when people come in asking for products they know nothing about. "Do you carry [X Brand/ X type] lenses?" Well, yes, I can put you in that lens if your prescription calls for it… Some people read things online or hear technical terms, and simply repeat them without knowing what the heck they're talking about.


duplicate post.  Ignore!

----------


## Mizikal

"My child lost the case you gave her when she picked up the glasses so will you just mail her a new one?"

 I explained I would be more then happy to mail a new case and that I charge $10.00 to ship anything. She decided to get a new case at Walmart.

----------


## lisareneecarll

question:"How much are glasses?"
answer: " how much is a dress?"

----------


## smallworld

++

----------


## Paul Smith LDO

Guy came in a couple of days ago asking if we can adjust his frame. I told him to have a seat at my desk and that I would see what I could do for him. How when I say that this was a big fellow, I mean BIG, I'm 6' 4" and about 238 and looked like a child next to this cat. Anyhow he produces what can only be described as an accessory frame for a Barbie Doll inside the palm of his polar bear sized hand. I take it from him and the frame magically increases in size to about a 51/18, too small for even me. I ask him, loaded question,  what he would like me to do with the frame. His question was, get ready, can you grow it for me.    
Sir, is it your intent to try and wear these. Yes, he said. Sir, I replied; there is nothing on God's green earth that I can possibly do to get this frame to fit you. Don't you have a machine that can grow the frame, he said. I said, if grow or increase the size of the frame to the point were it could fit you the lenses would never fit and that technology is not available to us. Maybe miracle grow, I said sardonically under my breath. Hey, that's worth a shot.  Thanks, he said happily heading toward the door. Sir, I responded, I was just kidding. He stopped, smiled, and said about the machine. No, said I. About miracle grow. Oh.

----------


## iD

^lolz

man. I wish I was there for that one.

----------


## optical24/7

> Guy came in a couple of days ago asking if we can adjust his frame. I told him to have a seat at my desk and that I would see what I could do for him. How when I say that this was a big fellow, I mean BIG, I'm 6' 4" and about 238 and looked like a child next to this cat. Anyhow he produces what can only be described as an accessory frame for a Barbie Doll inside the palm of his polar bear sized hand. I take it from him and the frame magically increases in size to about a 51/18, too small for even me. I ask him, loaded question,  what he would like me to do with the frame. His question was, get ready, can you grow it for me.    
> Sir, is it your intent to try and wear these. Yes, he said. Sir, I replied; there is nothing on God's green earth that I can possibly do to get this frame to fit you. Don't you have a machine that can grow the frame, he said. I said, if grow or increase the size of the frame to the point were it could fit you the lenses would never fit and that technology is not available to us. Maybe miracle grow, I said sardonically under my breath. Hey, that's worth a shot.  Thanks, he said happily heading toward the door. Sir, I responded, I was just kidding. He stopped, smiled, and said about the machine. No, said I. About miracle grow. Oh.



Isn't it nice when you can tell a big, burly guy to go "grow a pair".....................of glasses?

----------


## colem84

I love all of these! Some of my favorites are "My legs are crooked", "The medicine ran out", or my personal favorite "The strew fell outta my  glasses and the glens is gone. What do you mean I gotta pay for another glens?"

 :Bounce:  :Banghead:  :Confused:

----------


## Uncle Fester

The Missus tells me of the patient who came in recently with the glasses in pieces. 

"I ran them over with the lawn mower. Can you fix them?"

Can't make this stuff up!!!

----------


## King.Matthew

Can you adjust these please? They feel like they're hanging on my nose??!!

----------


## Java99

> The Missus tells me of the patient who came in recently with the glasses in pieces. 
> 
> "I ran them over with the lawn mower. Can you fix them?"
> 
> Can't make this stuff up!!!


We had a guy plow his under once.  He found them the next spring, we cleaned them up, made a few adjustments, and sent him on his way!

----------


## Uncle Fester

Just now-

"I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"

Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!!  We'll even bring them to your house!!!

----------


## jefe

> Just now-
> 
> "I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"
> 
> Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!!  We'll even bring them to your house!!!


Wow.

----------


## COMEINPEACE

THE least you can do is fed ex overnight it for him...no?

----------


## colem84

> Just now-
> 
> "I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"
> 
> Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!!  We'll even bring them to your house!!!


Did he want you to wear them for him too!? hahah  :Bounce:

----------


## smallworld

I have been asked to show a patient how they can order their glasses online.

----------


## Uilleann

"Is blue light dangerous?"

LOL  LOL LOL

...So far, science hasn't proven anything about it.  But I have no fewer than 6 different expensive lenses I can sell you right now.  Because...BE AFRAID!!

LOL  LOL. LOL

----------


## mdeimler

> I have been asked to show a patient how they can order their glasses online.


Go ahead and do it.  Charge your normal fee for it too, like $35.00 or $300.00, whatever you feel appropriate.

----------


## kaledarkwind

Not a question but still pretty silly. A Mother told us that she let her son (14) sleep in his contacts becasue she wanted him to be able to see clearly in his dreams....

----------


## newguyaroundhere

> Not a question but still pretty silly. A Mother told us that she let her son (14) sleep in his contacts becasue she wanted him to be able to see clearly in his dreams....


Hope she enjoys him seeing his dreams with various infections and potential damage to his eyes

----------


## smallworld

I fit a patient in a new ff progressive.  Long story short I had to remake and go back to old school traditional progressive.  The patient was happy with the result, saying to her husband "the other ones were just TOO CLEAR!  do you know what I mean..just like, too clear"

----------


## waynegilpin

> I fit a patient in a new ff progressive.  Long story short I had to remake and go back to old school traditional progressive.  The patient was happy with the result, saying to her husband "the other ones were just TOO CLEAR!  do you know what I mean..just like, too clear"


Had that happen one time and mentioned it to the Dr.  His reply was, "Too clear huh?  Well, that's George."  
George was the curator at a museum.   A very nice guy, but a little odd.

----------


## kaledarkwind

We have a magic BOX....

----------


## goptics

Patient: I want a FRESHLOOK YELLOW contacts for costplay. 
Me: I am very sorry but FRESHLOOK brand doesn't have YELLOW color. I can offer you other brands that have.
Patient: My friend bought hers YELLOW FRESHLOOK on e-bay
Me: I guess you can buy anything on ebay, even a non-existant thing.

-I still wonder what kind of YELLOW FRESHLOOK her friend got.-

Another one....
Eye test with old glasses on.
Patient: I see perfectly fine.
Me: What this line says?
Patient: 8-8-8-8-8

----------


## apriljos

lol

----------


## apriljos

Hows this one ..when a pt askes if they can fill their subscription from their obstetrician...lol

----------


## smallworld

I had a patient come back a week after I adjusted her glasses tighter, she said now there is a bigger problem, skin cancer.  She now has a lump and dry flakey skin.  I looked and saw a red sore.  She argued it was cancer, not a sore.  I gave her a magnifier mirror, so she could see the sore. Finally she saw it, but then asked what the flakey skin was.  I asked what the skin disorder on her arms was, she said, exzyma.  I said, OK, its not cancer, but looks like a sore and exzyma..go see your dermatologist.  I swear I've never been accused of giving someone cancer in an adjustment from one week ago.

----------


## AngeHamm

Yesterday I fielded a phone call from a customer who claimed my colleague had "ruined" her old glasses. My colleague had cleaned her lenses.

----------


## Tallboy

Sometimes I'm happy to still make money doing this, sometimes I don't think we make enough.

----------


## icmor

We had an elderly gentleman just told our receptionist that his vision was getting pretty bad, and asked if he needed to see the doctor to get one of those handicapped signs.  He also wanted to know if we have a sticker for his rear window that says "Caution: Blind Driver"!  Our receptionist said she looked around to see if she was being punked, but this guy was totally serious!

----------


## optilady1

> Hows this one ..when a pt askes if they can fill their subscription from their obstetrician...lol


I have a grandmother who still thinks I deliver babies.  20 years gramma, no babies delivered...

----------


## sanswhitecoat

A patient came in wanting to find a frame he could put lenses in. His glasses were done for and he did not want to schedule an exam. I am always up for a challenge so I finally find a frame to fit the lenses in almost perfectly. I show him and he isnt very excited about the style. He picks a random frame up and says well you cant use these? I say no sir, this lense  is way too small to fit this frame . He says, Oh it has to fit? 
"O_O"

----------


## becc971

Maybe not a stupid question, but why oh why do all super large headed men want round glasses  :cry:

----------


## ThePinkRanger

"Do I have to give a urine sample?"

Literally 5 seconds ago to the receptionist. dead.  :Skull:

----------


## bta89

"Should I be at my normal alcohol content level for my glasses to work correctly?"

She walked out while waiting for the doctor and came in with an overwhelming smell of alcohol.

----------


## Tallboy

> "Should I be at my normal alcohol content level for my glasses to work correctly?"
> 
> She walked out while waiting for the doctor and came in with an overwhelming smell of alcohol.


She actually probably had a point you know. Blood pressure would be out of wack otherwise.

----------


## fjpod

Can I have a 10% AARP discount on my plan copays?

----------


## Cat-Eyes

"why can't I see far away through my bifocal?"    "Can you tell me what my insurance is ?"    "can i get this frame without the logo on the side /or with different arms?" ....

----------


## ThePinkRanger

> "why can't I see far away through my bifocal?"    "Can you tell me what my insurance is ?"    "can i get this frame without the logo on the side /or with different arms?" ....


Yes love when they start designing FrankenFrames! Arms, stems, bows, legs...

I had 2 different people asking for replacement noseguards today.

----------


## azzathejunglist

My personal favourite is when i have a little old lady in her 90's come in with her deceased Husbands glasses that he purchased 15 years ago, that she wants to return, as he no longer requires them as he is deceased. And cant understand why i cant give her a refund!

----------


## RobinC

"What does having to measure my pupils have to do with my glasses. I don't need glasses for my pupils"  :Spin:

----------


## Jamelina

Years ago, I had a lady constantly calling inquiring about frame information.  She knew what she wanted (a line we didn't carry, nor could I get) so she proceeded to send me pictures of what she liked so I could hold a few styles we had aside for her.  After spending hours, literally, working with her she asked me if I could leave the office and accompany her to several other offices to find her the perfect pair of glasses.  I had to put her on hold because I couldn't help but laugh.  When I explained to her why I wasn't able to, she was floored.  She just couldn't understand why I couldn't take her shopping during my work day.   :Bounce:

----------


## Quantrill

I love that this thread is 10 years old.  :Cool: 

I had a guy come in and ask me why the lenses were making his eyes swell up.  I told him they won't and he pulls out a picture of one eye that looked like he had some severe allergic reaction.  I asked if he had any allergies and he said none that he was aware of, but this had never happened before so it must have been his new glasses.

----------


## plculver

+From a woman browsing the frame board: "Why are the lenses in this pair so dark?"  Because they're sunglasses.
+While dispensing contacts to a woman, I told her that the box for her right eye was marked with an 'R'. She asked, "Is that my right eye, or your right eye?"  I answered that my prescription was different, so it would be hers.
+Also while dispensing contacts, and telling the woman that the OD box was marked with an 'R', she asked if I could mark the left one, too, so she didn't get them mixed up....If one box was for the right eye, where did she think the others were going to go?  I really wanted to tell her that the whole "third eye" thing is just a euphemism, an people generally don't need a contact lens for it.

----------


## plculver

I'm not necessarily saying that the optician in question wasn't a twit, but as a former "big box" optician, I can tell you that this may not have been a matter of a lack of intelligence.  "Big box" is so worried about getting sued, that at one time, they wouldn't allow us to make ANY changes to an Rx, even if it was a matter of simple math.




> Maybe a little off topic as its not a patient, but i had a patient recently walk with an RX that was +plano   with a +2.25 add OU ... they took it to *big box* and *big box* called me because they needed the reading RX written to make her a pair of single vision readers ... 
> 
> is it wrong to tell patients that if the optician cant do this kind of math they probably shouldnt be getting their glasses there??!! i feel like its kind of like transposing +cyl and any optician should be able to do it??? or am i becoming an old curmudgeon

----------


## smallworld

I had a walk in person the other day in my dispensary.  She asked for help looking for petite frames.  I asked who did her prescription, and it wasn't us, so I informed her we didn't take outside prescriptions.  She said, "don't worry, I'm getting them made at Lenscrafters".  With further discussion, she said their frames weren't small enough.  So I showed her a petite style.  She then asked, "can you put a progressive in this?".  I told her that whoever makes her lenses would decide that.  She then asked that if they wouldn't use the frame could she get a refund.  Really?

----------


## Don Gilman

> I had a walk in person the other day in my dispensary.  She asked for help looking for petite frames.  I asked who did her prescription, and it wasn't us, so I informed her we didn't take outside prescriptions.  She said, "don't worry, I'm getting them made at Lenscrafters".  With further discussion, she said their frames weren't small enough.  So I showed her a petite style.  She then asked, "can you put a progressive in this?".  I told her that whoever makes her lenses would decide that.  She then asked that if they wouldn't use the frame could she get a refund.  Really?


Really curious
1. Why would you not take an outside RX?
2. If you would take two minutes of your time to determine if a PAL would work and you would have made who knows $000.00 why not do it?
3. No refund??? If the frame comes back say within a week or so and in new condition why not?
You guys must be really flush with cash?? Really!!!!!!!

----------


## jefe

> Really curious
> 1. Why would you not take an outside RX?
> 2. If you would take two minutes of your time to determine if a PAL would work and you would have made who knows $000.00 why not do it?
> 3. No refund??? If the frame comes back say within a week or so and in new condition why not?
> You guys must be really flush with cash?? Really!!!!!!!


+1

----------


## ak47

+1...............and then on another note, someone just called here and said "I got your message that my sunglasses are in, is there any chance my sunglasses are in?"  I thought it was a joke, but he persisted and got upset...I am befuddled.

----------


## lensmanmd

Not a question, but something we actually ended up doing just to get the person out of our store:  Picture jheri curls dripping with juice.

The medicine leaked out of my glasses and stained my shirt.  Y'all need to pay for the dry cleaning!
Pause.......go to the office.....close door......laugh until I cry......compose......
Not a problem sir.  Do you have a copy of the receipt?  Great.  Here is your refund.

----------


## Uncle Fester

> Not a question, but something we actually ended up doing just to get the person out of our store:  Picture jheri curls dripping with juice.
> 
> The medicine leaked out of my glasses and stained my shirt.  Y'all need to pay for the dry cleaning!
> Pause.......go to the office.....close door......laugh until I cry......compose......
> Not a problem sir.  Do you have a copy of the receipt?  Great.  Here is your refund.


Thanks a lot---NOT!!! 

You just validated that this can happen so when I have to deal with him and am told there's absolutely no refund due, I'm the one who has to deal with it!!!*  :cry: 

*Oh to be able to wash my hands of patients like this!

----------


## ak47

You better wash your hands after dealing with this situation!!  Love me some jheri curl juice!

----------


## McAnerin

I had a 16 year Cadet-wanting-to-be-a-military-analyst-and-genius come in. He queried as to whether the lenses we provide were parabolic lenses or not. I told him a parabolic lens is a type of mirror for focusing light not a true lens persay. He didn't reply, his mother rolled her eyes. I finished the adjustment and sent him on his way.

Most of my favourite stupid questions are asked by slightly awkward teenage boys who think they're smarter than they are. It's great.

----------


## Opti girl

> Most of my favourite stupid questions are asked by slightly awkward teenage boys who think they're smarter than they are. It's great.


Or some  23 year old men  :Bounce:

----------


## JGor

As we all know the temples on a frame get a lot of different labels. "Arms", "legs", "flaps", "wings".........................etc
I had a customer who insisted he didn't need glasses but he did use an old pair that belonged to his wife to "just help a bit with reading the newspaper".
His question?   "I can't get my wifes' legs over my ears. Can you fix that?"

----------


## AngeHamm

Asked after you just spent three minutes detailing, to the penny, what the regular retail prices and insurance-discounted prices for a patient's order will be: "Does my insurance cover any of that?"

----------


## bsst

Or after spending 10 minute looking up insurance an explaining benefits and/ or discounts and the hearing " and do I get a senior discount on top of that ?"

----------


## Mizikal

When I tell people their insurance is through March Vision they asked if its spelled like March the month or march like in a parade. I just say yes.

----------


## Decades

While not necessarily a stupid question, the most appalling thing I've ever seen was a patient who brought their glass lenses back due to scratches and asked to have them replaced. I explained that glass lenses are not warranted against scratching, only breakage.  The customer marched out the front door, slammed the eyewear on the sidewalk as hard as she could, brought them back in and said, "Now will you replace them?"  Yes ~ Yes I did ... someone who would even think to do such a thing, is not a person with whom I want to tangle!

----------


## Tallboy

> While not necessarily a stupid question, the most appalling thing I've ever seen was a patient who brought their glass lenses back due to scratches and asked to have them replaced. I explained that glass lenses are not warranted against scratching, only breakage.  The customer marched out the front door, slammed the eyewear on the sidewalk as hard as she could, brought them back in and said, "Now will you replace them?"  Yes ~ Yes I did ... someone who would even think to do such a thing, is not a person with whom I want to tangle!


Seriously? I would have asked them if I look like a clown, am I here for their amusement. I will bend over backwards if I think what I've provided them as glasses is even 10% at possible cause for the damage to their glasses, but that?

----------


## King of the Lab

> While not necessarily a stupid question, the most appalling thing I've ever seen was a patient who brought their glass lenses back due to scratches and asked to have them replaced. I explained that glass lenses are not warranted against scratching, only breakage.  The customer marched out the front door, slammed the eyewear on the sidewalk as hard as she could, brought them back in and said, "Now will you replace them?"  Yes ~ Yes I did ... someone who would even think to do such a thing, is not a person with whom I want to tangle!


This is my type of woman, he deserved to get those lens replaced for his witty response. I seriously LOL'd so hard when I read this.

----------


## Klean

“Last name Houston.  Spelled like Texas.”

me: “Wouldn’t you pronounce it like “Texas” then?”

She was not amused.

----------


## Klean

> Stupidest question, and I seem to get this one periodically:
> 
> 
> "Why do my glasses move up and down when I do this?" (Pt. is moving glasses up and down with their hands)
> 
> On an aside, this doesn't pertain to stupid questions but I feel it must be said, but don't you hate it when a patient comes in, opens a battered eyeglass case to show you frame catastrophe and they say: "I opened up the case, and the glasses were just like this!"
> 
> (I actually told a customer once that I would fix up the glasses and replace the case...it MUST be defective.)
> :drop:


Whenever someone presents broken glasses for repair and asks me, What makes that happen, my response is always the same.  Straight deadpan, gremlins.

----------


## King of the Lab

> Whenever someone presents broken glasses for repair and asks me, “What makes that happen,” my response is always the same.  Straight deadpan, “gremlins.”


Glasses Gnomes are real bro. They come in the middle of the night and abuse your glasses to point of no return. How else would a patients glasses get messed up? They didn't do it of course!

----------


## mervinek

> Glasses Gnomes are real bro. They come in the middle of the night and abuse your glasses to point of no return. How else would a patients glasses get messed up? They didn't do it of course!


That would explain "All I did was open the case and it was like that!"  (After bringing in a completely mangled pair of specs)

----------


## GrahamEye

This past Friday:
Patient: I need an adjustment for my frame. They need to be melted and made to fit better.
Me: (straight face response) I can help you with that.
(Internally: that's a new request...)

----------


## Quince

Girl comes in and starts looking at frames-

"Welcome! Can I help you find anything?"

_"Do you carry Warby Parker?"_

Pause. "No, I'm sorry. That is an online company."

_"They have stores."_

"Well, yes I do believe they have one store... in Boston or New York or something."



As it turns out they DO have stores, plural, but be assured- the name above_ my_ store does not resemble that of the big WP.

----------


## Decades

> This is my type of guy, he deserved to get those lens replaced for his witty response. I seriously LOL'd so hard when I read this.


It's definitely funny now ~ and I'm glad to have given you a good laugh. At the time however, I was speechless, especially because it was a WOMAN who did it.  I can be one tough customer myself, but it would never occur to me to do such a thing. Personally, I think it takes a special kind of crazy to do something like that (as in, bunny boiling, postal crazy).

----------


## McAnerin

Had a customer come in to try on frames, I provided a tray for her to keep favorites in, but she never used it. Instead, she insisted on putting the temples in her mouth. I let her know that that was probably not the most sanitary thing she could be doing. She replied with "it's fine, I always do this."

_eww._

There's a lady in my area, wandering around, eating everyone's frames. :Help:

----------


## mervinek

> Had a customer come in to try on frames, I provided a tray for her to keep favorites in, but she never used it. Instead, she insisted on putting the temples in her mouth. I let her know that that was probably not the most sanitary thing she could be doing. She replied with "it's fine, I always do this."
> 
> _eww._
> 
> There's a lady in my area, wandering around, eating everyone's frames.


Barfff.... Seriously, What is wrong with people???

----------


## ak47

"Sure, you can put YOUR glasses in your mouth.  You ate it, you bought it.  Will that be Visa or American Express?"

----------


## jpways

I'm digging up this old thread because I just got one I wasn't expecting from a hobby. So, I'm also a competitive pinball player and on a facebook group for a league that I am a part of I just had to deal with this:
"I just used novus 2 on my eye glasses. came out great. super happy ! They were super cloudy from scratches. Anyone else ever do this ??"  :Banghead:

----------


## waynegilpin

Pt after trying on every frame in the place:  "I"ll get a new frame, right?  I don't want a frame that other people have tried on."
Me:  "Should I throw out all those frames that you've tried on?"

----------


## CCGREEN

> Maybe not a stupid question, but why oh why do all super large headed men want round glasses


Because they are OhiO fans......

----------


## Tallboy

> Pt after trying on every frame in the place:  "I"ll get a new frame, right?  I don't want a frame that other people have tried on."
> Me:  "Should I throw out all those frames that you've tried on?"


I always will order a new frame for someone if they request it, they will have to be aware of backorders, shipping time etc. If they are using a managed care plan (of which I take less and less of every year)  they absolutley positively must pay shipping.

I've asked them if they do the same thing in clothing stores before, but now I worry I come off as a smart *** if I do that so I don't.

----------


## Alex Camblor

I just had a woman ask if we could print the word "ACETATE" across the bottom of her new lenses.

----------


## Erik

> I just had a woman ask if we could print the word "ACETATE" across the bottom of her new lenses.


"Ace Tate, for the designer frames you crave..."

----------


## ak47

Absolutely!  Would you like that etched or tattooed?  The customer is always right!

----------


## panos21r

My glasses where in the case and they broke (from the middle)!!! We bought them from you 5 years ago and we want them replaced for free.... I know is not a question, but F!!!! me....

----------


## Optical Roy

I had my Cadillacs removed, can you put my new subscription in my old frames I left at home?

----------


## Optical Roy

Had a patient come in saying her frame "Stunk!' what's worse, my assistant manager agreed, not so much after she spent an hour trying to get the "Stank off the specs" SMDH

----------


## Mactire

Wow, this thread is going on for a long while now. The proof there is no end to the stupidity of the customer.
While I don't work as an optician anymore, I can write a book about silly customers.

Once we had a guy come in who was angry we sold him plastic lenses instead of glass. A discussion ensues and in the end I remove one of the lenses and tap it against the table _"see it's glass._ Sadly this didn't fly and the guy went mental: _"IF ITS GLASS IT WILL BREAK IF I SMASH IT"_. My collegue, who was watching in amusement, immediately brought the workshop hammer and said; "if it breaks, you buy a new lens. If it doesn't, we will refund the glasses" When the dude agree he smashed the lens. _"See, it's glass"._ The client ended up being a good sport and bought a new lens, as well as a cake for our problems.

On quite a similar note I had a man come in with light scratches in his lenses. If we could buff out the scratches for him. I had to tell him no. He didn't argue, but I could see on his face he didn't believe me.
The next day he returned, showing me heavily buffed lenses with destroyed coatings. 
_"You were right, you can't buff them out. I'd like a new pair of glasses please."
_We had a great laugh afterwards. 

Although I don't work as an optician anymore, I'm a Medical Ophthalmic Technician now, there is no end to the stupidity of clients. Or patients in my case. 

While doing glaucoma check-ups a lady comes in complaining about her optician. He had made her a pair of new glasses which didn't help her vision at all. Turned out the glasses were three years old and she carried them in her purse. The _bad_ optician didn't instruct her she had to put them on.

Sometimes I joke; the best hospital to run is a hospital without patients. And while it would be true, it also would be a very boring hospital. And I guess this goes for an optician too. :)

----------


## Cat-Eyes

"If I get a blue light filtering lens does that mean I wont see the color blue anymore?" "will my frame look exactly like this one?"  "will it have this writing on the lens? do you have any without the writing?" and "why do I see worse when I take my glasses off now?"  those are all from this week and it's just barely Tuesday! :Rolleyes:

----------


## mervinek

> "why do I see worse when I take my glasses off now?"


This one all the time.  I have gotten "There's something wrong with my glasses because when I take them off, my vision is blurry."  OMG!  This one I couldn't help.  Out of total frustration to the point I was ready to cry, I suggested she discuss that with the OMD.  Sorry, Dr A.  So sorry.

----------


## panos21r

'Why on my previews glasses I couldn't see this marks on the lenses?' Because your previews glasses where single vision lenses and now we have progressive lenses. All the Progressive lenses have this marks! 'No I don't believe you'.....

The other one 'can you make glasses so I can see through the clothes of womens?'.... I gave him an answer that it make him to leave and not to come back.... ( I leave it to your imagination)

----------


## Optical Roy

I like the ones that get warranty on their specs, then thinks the warranties start over just because they have a new pair of specs, I mean "sure, we sell lifetime frames and lenses"

----------


## Cat-Eyes

[QUOTE=panos21r;562587]'Why on my previews glasses I couldn't see this marks on the lenses?' Because your previews glasses where single vision lenses and now we have progressive lenses. All the Progressive lenses have this marks! 'No I don't believe you'.....

I have had people argue about the watermarks as well  :Giggle:

----------


## Uncle Fester

"If I get a blue light filtering lens does that mean I wont see the  color blue anymore?" I don't see this question as stupid at all. But  then again the names I've been called over the years and things I've  done can make just being called stupid a compliment!

We have our own "Stupid optician" stories as well.

Like  when my wife had a coworker doing a torch solder next to a hot plate  full of highly flammable dye neutralizer. Can you guess where this is  going? Yup- the pot got knocked over, the torch set it aflame, the fire  rolled up the wall, the alarm and sprinklers went off, and they had some  spayn'n to do to the local fire department...

----------


## Cat-Eyes

> I like the ones that get warranty on their specs, then thinks the warranties start over just because they have a new pair of specs, I mean "sure, we sell lifetime frames and lenses"


 Sorry folks lifetime glasses are no longer being made  :Cool:  :Giggle:

----------


## mervinek

[QUOTE=Cat-Eyes;562589]


> 'No I don't believe you'.....


Last time I had someone say they didn't believe me, I just sat there and said "ok."   Patient just stared at me and I let her.  I had fully given up.  Ok.  I'm telling you the truth.  You don't have to believe me.  I really just don't care.  Believe what you want because that's what you're going to do anyway.  Why even ask me in the first place?

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## Lelarep

> "If I get a blue light filtering lens does that mean I wont see the  color blue anymore?" I don't see this question as stupid at all. But  then again the names I've been called over the years and things I've  done can make just being called stupid a compliment!
> 
> We have our own "Stupid optician" stories as well.
> 
> Like  when my wife had a coworker doing a torch solder next to a hot plate  full of highly flammable dye neutralizer. Can you guess where this is  going? Yup- the pot got knocked over, the torch set it aflame, the fire  rolled up the wall, the alarm and sprinklers went off, and they had some  spayn'n to do to the local fire department...


Did they get a citation from the fire department/a fine from OSHA for violating flame safety rules?




> Sorry folks lifetime glasses are no longer being made


Yep, any concept of "lifetime" anything died around the same time as every American having a life-annuity style pension.

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## Uncle Fester

[QUOTE=Lelarep;562597]Did they get a citation from the fire department/a fine from OSHA for violating flame safety rules?

No nothing.

 Insurance came in- tossed everything on display into the dumpster out back and sent them a check. I'm told dumpster diving followed.  :Rolleyes:

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## Lelarep

> Originally Posted by Lelarep
> 
> 
> Did they get a citation from the fire department/a fine from OSHA for violating flame safety rules?
> 
> 
> No nothing.
> 
>  Insurance came in- tossed everything on display into the dumpster out back and sent them a check. I'm told dumpster diving followed.


Ah, nothing like reinforcing a lack of consequences for poor workplace safety...

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## Quince

> Did they get a citation from the fire department/a fine from OSHA for violating flame safety rules?



Sounds like my establishment might be due for a fire... OSHA doesn't even know we exist and the Fire Dept has given up. Literally. They don't even visit anymore because they know the things we get failed for won't change. Fine the owner, we said, but no one wants the paperwork...

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## eyeman56

[eyeman56]
If anyone asks us to order a frame to try on that we do not stock that style has to py $15.00 each pair, up to four allowed, for shipping.
thank G-d that has not happened in years.
"I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"

Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!!  We'll even bring them to your house!!![/QUOTE]

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## lensmanmd

IDK.  A +5/+2.5 FF PAL on a 3 base to fit a flat square frame is up on that list.  Requested by an LDO, no less.

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## IC-UC

> IDK.  A +5/+2.5 FF PAL on a 3 base to fit a flat square frame is up on that list.  Requested by an LDO, no less.


See too many of those... :Help:

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## ak47

I would agree with the above....but, has anyone noticed many labs putting just about any Rx up to +- 4 diopters into 4 base curve on digital lenses?

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## jefe

> I would agree with the above....but, has anyone noticed many labs putting just about any Rx up to +- 4 diopters into 4 base curve on digital lenses?


Yes

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## lensmanmd

> I would agree with the above....but, has anyone noticed many labs putting just about any Rx up to +- 4 diopters into 4 base curve on digital lenses?


We use the flattest front curve possible for better frame fit, as long as the total back curve remains concave, but we will not force a -4 onto a 4BC.  Besides, IOT will spit out an error ticket once the back curve exceeds its limit.  
We will, however, provide a 4 base bevel for flatter lenses as needed to fit the frame.

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## jefe

> "If I get a blue light filtering lens does that mean I wont see the  color blue anymore?" I don't see this question as stupid at all. But  then again the names I've been called over the years and things I've  done can make just being called stupid a compliment!
> 
> We have our own "Stupid optician" stories as well.
> 
> Like  when my wife had a coworker doing a torch solder next to a hot plate  full of highly flammable dye neutralizer. Can you guess where this is  going? Yup- the pot got knocked over, the torch set it aflame, the fire  rolled up the wall, the alarm and sprinklers went off, and they had some  spayn'n to do to the local fire department...


There was a lab tech at a place I worked who was always given the last order of the day to complete, often leading to a disaster.  One time, he cut glass lenses in an Optronics edger.  Another time, he put plastic lenses into an air hardener.  He was able to hold onto his position for a surprisingly long time.

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## Uncle Fester

> There was a lab tech at a place I worked who was always given the last order of the day to complete, often leading to a disaster.  One time, he cut glass lenses in an Optronics edger.  Another time, he put plastic lenses into an air hardener.  He was able to hold onto his position for a surprisingly long time.


 :Eek:   :Rolleyes:   :Giggle:

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## IIxIPariahIxII

Just remembered a story about an optician I worked with. Jefe's story made me think of it. In a boutique, and any time we had those pesky Ray Ban glass lenses, we had different ways of tackling removal. I'd heat 'em to lava and pop 'em out. My buddy would try, and if he couldn't, he would take a screwdriver/hammer combo to the lens and shatter it out. Our third optician was.......not as good with them. They would usually pass them off to us to remove. They couldn't get them out with heat without straight melting the frame, so they asked my buddy his method. He told them, he would lay it down (he demonstrated for them by laying a cloth down and then placing the glasses face down), position a screwdriver right in the center, and then take a hammer to the screwdriver to get it to impact and crack the lens. Okay, simple enough it seemed. So one day, he's off, and they bring me this pair of polished black Wayfarers. I took one look at the front of them and expletives left my mouth. WTF batman. I asked them what happened to the frame and they said she didn't know. They just took them out back and removed the lenses like my buddy had shown them. When I asked what they meant by out back, they proceeded to tell me that they had taken the glasses out behind the office, laid them face down on the <b>concrete</b>, with nothing underneath it, and hammered the lens out with the screwdriver method. I asked them if they put anything down to protect the front of the glasses and they looked at me like I was an alien. Nupe. They straight up destroyed the front of the frames on the concrete. I was speechless.

Not as much stupid question, but definitely a dumbfounding moment.

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## KrystleClear

At my old office, I started out as a tech for the optometrists. I would hear a lot of... interesting things from patients during the workup and going over their history. Sometimes they tell you things you wish you could un-hear. 

 One thing that would always drive me NUTS is whenever I would do the visual field. I had an elaborate speech I would give to explain why I was doing the test, what we hoped to learn from the test, and what I needed them to do. Something like "This is the visual field test. The doctor wants to test your field of vision. This will tell us if there are any spots in your field of vision that we should be concerned about and can help the doctor diagnose any associated eye conditions. Because we are testing your field of vision, we need you to look straight ahead at the target during the entire test. If you look around, we won't get an accurate test. I am handing you a little remote with a button on the end. You will see little flashing bars all over the screen. I have it set on demo mode, so you should see them flashing now. When I start the test, I want you to click the button on the remote any time you see one of those flashing bars. Any questions?" Patient: "No." Me: starts test.... About 30 seconds go by and they haven't clicked the button at all. Me: "Are you seeing any of the flashes?" Patient: "Oh, was I supposed to be doing something?" I died a little more inside each time this happened. Yet, when I would use the auto-refractor and explicitly told them I just wanted them to stare at the target, and that I wasn't asking for any verbal response, they would say "Better... better, no worse, worse..." etc. 

My old office also had an ancient non-contact tonometer, also known as "the air puff test." I had people accuse me of blowing medicine in their eye. Or claim I somehow changed their vision. Often they thought I was dilating their eye. Nope, just air. I even had a lady, weeks after her complete exam where I "puffed" her eye, accuse me of puffing germs in her eye on purpose so we could make money on patient's coming back to see us with infections.

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## NAICITPO

What kind of practice do you work at??

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