# Conversation and Fun > Just Conversation >  Really horrible puns

## chm2023

Check these out, number 7 is sooo bad I can't stop giggling!!



     1.  Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, Gentlemen.  Only one
carrion allowed per passenger."

     2.  Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to Hollywood
and became a famous actor.  The other stayed behind in the cotton fields
and never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.

     3.  There were two Eskimos sitting in a kayak.  They were cold so they
lit a fire, and the craft sank.  It only proved, once again, that you can't
have your kayak and heat it, too.

     4.  A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.  He slides
up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

     5.  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a
root canal?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.

     6.  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After
about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
disperse.  "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.  "Because," he said,
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

     7.  A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."  The other goes to a family
in Spain and they name him "Juan."  Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband
responds, "They're twins!  If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

     8.  These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds.  Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair.  He asked the good brothers to close down, but they
would not.  He went back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to "persuade" them to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can
prevent florist friars.

     9.  Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath.  This made him... what?  Answer:  A super calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis.

     10.  And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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## hip chic

Thanks.

I needed that!

hip chic

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## Texas Ranger

Only proves that to be in the optical field requires a sense of humor, however punny...

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## chm2023

You know who loves these lame puns and jokes--kids around 9 or 10.  I will be a big hit with the nieces and nephews this weekend!!

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## Sean

Thanks for the giggles..........much appreciated. I really needed them after the day i had today.:)

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## Mikef

Ethernet n.   Something to catch the Etherbunny with!

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