# Optical Forums > General Optics and Eyecare Discussion Forum >  Most Batsh*t Crazy Thing You've Heard a Patient Say?

## Chad Sobodash

A woman just walked into my store and called me a charlatan to my face. She then said that she didn't believe in doctors telling her what's best for her son's eyes. She likened the writing of an eyeglass prescription to finding a shoe size. Then, she claimed that she buys glasses online for her son, and whenever he's having trouble with his vision, she INCREASES THE NUMBERS ON THE PRESCRIPTION.

It ended with me saying that she was going to destroy her son's vision, her saying something unintelligible about vaccinations, and then walking out of my store.

So what's your best story?

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## JosephFranzese

Nothing nearly as bad but had a patient complain about her son's Anti-reflective coating having a few scratches on it even though I said it would be scratch resistant(as opposed to proof). I offered to remake the lenses since they were well under warranty still.

Only thing was she herself told me a couple weeks prior that this particular pair of glasses had been taken away from him because he threw them multiple times as well as twistin' 'em up.

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## optimensch

It's been a while since this has happened, but it has occurred at least 2 or 3 times over the years:
You take someone's old frame to reglaze with a new prescription. They return a few days later to pick up the glasses and abracadabra - all of a sudden this is not their old frame - no way no how is this the frame they left us - and they should know of course because they have worn these everyday for 5 years.
Where do you even begin....

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## ak47

Ok, so it wasn't "said" by a patient...but i had a patient try to punch me when dispensing a +3 diopter grooved poly because the patient insisted that since he paid for the "thinner lenses" they should be as thin as..............................walk around store..................................wait for it...the silhouette demo lenses !!

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## ml43

> A woman just walked into my store and called me a charlatan to my face. She then said that she didn't believe in doctors telling her what's best for her son's eyes. She likened the writing of an eyeglass prescription to finding a shoe size. Then, she claimed that she buys glasses online for her son, and whenever he's having trouble with his vision, she INCREASES THE NUMBERS ON THE PRESCRIPTION.
> 
> It ended with me saying that she was going to destroy her son's vision, her saying something unintelligible about vaccinations, and then walking out of my store.
> 
> So what's your best story?


Sounds like Phil Hellmuth's White Magic.

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## SharonB

:cry: 


> It's been a while since this has happened, but it has occurred at least 2 or 3 times over the years:
> You take someone's old frame to reglaze with a new prescription. They return a few days later to pick up the glasses and abracadabra - all of a sudden this is not their old frame - no way no how is this the frame they left us - and they should know of course because they have worn these everyday for 5 years.
> Where do you even begin....


A lady came in with a mangled frame, and wanted them adjusted. I took them back to the lab and spent about 15 minutes running them through the ultrasonic (they were filthy) , replacing the nose pads, and aligning the frame. All at no charge. When I brought the nice, clean, shiny frame back out for final adjustment she insisted they were not hers, because hers had brown nose pads. A "discussion" ensued, and she took the glasses and walked out. About 10 minutes later she walked back in with a container of hot coffee, and threw it at me. I am still baffled after all these years. I guess she was one of the 20% group (my supervising doctor at the time always maintained that 20% of the public is crazy).

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## newguyaroundhere

Lady comes in, wearing her eyeglasses on top of her head. Complains that when she wears her glasses that they fall off of her face. So I politely adjust them to fit her face, where they should belong. She tries them on, and says they feel great on her face but now they are too tight on her head when puts them there  :Furious:

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## newguyaroundhere

Story 2: had a young lady come in wanting an adjustment on her glasses. She then explains to me that her lenses are scratched and wants to have them replaced under her warranty. I inspect her glasses and didn't see even anything remotely looking like a scratch, they were fine. After explaining to her that her glasses were fine, she tells me she can see the scratches when she holds a magnifying glass up to them.  :Help:

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## AngeHamm

I had a patient last year utterly refuse to listen to anyone in the office explain why his new progressives were going to be different than his single vision lenses. He grew increasingly agitated and loud, constantly interrupting me as I tried to calm him and explain that if he couldn't adjust after a week or so that we would be able to remake his lenses. He finally went to the front desk, almost literally growling, where he proceeded to sign his credit card receipt and then throw the pen across the room. He stormed out of the office, stood in front of the door, and shouted at the parking lot "Mister optician, I STILL CAN'T SEE!!!!!" before getting in his car and screeching away. If he had stuck around for another 30 seconds, or walked back into the office, I would have called 911.

We never heard from him again. I assume he either never got used to his glasses or he put them on first thing the next morning (as I had suggested) and had no troubles, resulting in him feeling like the biggest asshat on the planet.

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## CCGREEN

I have never had to do this, came close a few times though. I do everything I can to deescalate the issue, including stepping away and turn it over to someone else.
But I have always said that I draw the line when it comes to physical assault from a customer/patient. That kind of behavior we do not need in our profession. There is always a extra room in the local county bar room hilton for them. I just don't want them coming back and shooting the place up.
Which this leads me to another question I have always asked. With all the personality's we have to deal with why do we not ever get any ed hours in physiology so that we may better understand the type people we deal with and how to handle situations?

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## Flux3r

Patient complained of his lenses smelling burned for weeks after having Anti-Reflective applied. Another patient said their transitions lenses turned orange, but refused to come in and have them replaced.

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## Judy Canty

Long time client (PhD candidate) brings in Rx from her new OMD.  Tells me that she knows it's wrong, because the numbers don't look right.  New Doc refracts in + cyl, old OD refracts in - cyl.  Made the glasses according to new rx.  Client picks them up and says she cannot see anything clearly.  Tried to explain transposition as simply as possible.  She doesn't believe me.  Send her back to the OMD.  I called the OMD and asked her do re-check and write in - cyl.  Client is triumphant!  The OMD was wrong!  I carefully cleaned her new glasses and put them on the magic shelf for a week.  Client picked up and her vision was perfect.  #amindisaterriblethingtowaste

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## mdeimler

Sold a man a woman's frame, reluctantly, because he insisted he wanted that frame.  He picks up the glasses and he is thrilled with how they look.  Two months later, after a visit to LC where they told him that he was wearing a woman's frame, he came in demanding a refund.  I said we could do a "frame exchange" but he refused.  He said he would get his money back or else.  I said that's not possible at this point.  He says "Imma get my money back even if I have to beat it outta you."  The owner overheard and he was barred from the practice.

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## Judy Canty

> Sold a man a woman's frame, reluctantly, because he insisted he wanted that frame.  He picks up the glasses and he is thrilled with how they look.  Two months later, after a visit to LC where they told him that he was wearing a woman's frame, he came in demanding a refund.  I said we could do a "frame exchange" but he refused.  He said he would get his money back or else.  I said that's not possible at this point.  He says "Imma get my money back even if I have to beat it outta you."  The owner overheard and he was barred from the practice.


Chances are very good that an LC associate suggested that your patient return those specs and come back to be fitted "properly".

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## COMEINPEACE

sharon
"doctor at the time always maintained that 20% of the public is crazy"

I have mentioned this in another post...  a few of my pt college girls have actually changed their majors to psych/psycol
after working here ...and seeing for themselves....there is an overwhelming need for this field :Eek: !!

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## CME4SPECS

I was once accused of selling a used frame to an elderly woman, and she could prove it. She had picked up her glasses, and had worn them for a few days before she came storming through the front door. Her son had been in the military and she was well aware of the fact that the military issued glasses to the troops. She claimed that I had gotten these frames from Colonel Gary Fade as the temple was marked COL. GRY FADE. It took me quite some time to convince her that she was seeing the color code of the frame....GEEZ!

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## COMEINPEACE

i cant see out of my glasses!!! they are defective
the woman down the hall cant see out of them either!!!

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## ioptical72

I love these stories.  Makes me feel so not alone in the Optical world.  Being an optician for almost 20 years I've had some doozies.  However, my favorite is when I had only been an in the practice about a year.  An older gentleman came in with his wife and started giving me grief over some glasses that had clearly seen their best days.  When I explained to him there wasn't anything I could do for him at no charge but I would be more than willing to help him pick out a new pair he preceded to get up in my face and tell me he ought to come across the counter and slap me silly.  I was roughly 8 months pregnant at the time.  Needless to say my co-workers intervened and nicely escorted the patient from the store.  His wife later came back and apologized.

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## edKENdance

> I was once accused of selling a used frame to an elderly woman, and she could prove it. She had picked up her glasses, and had worn them for a few days before she came storming through the front door. Her son had been in the military and she was well aware of the fact that the military issued glasses to the troops. She claimed that I had gotten these frames from Colonel Gary Fade as the temple was marked COL. GRY FADE. It took me quite some time to convince her that she was seeing the color code of the frame....GEEZ!


THAT is the best story I have ever heard.

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## CCGREEN

Two days ago I had a pt (who is the wife of a local MD of some kind) come in with her Rx in hand that we had given her 3 months ago.
Said she was with a friend of hers one day and asked to try her friends glasses. Decided she could see good out of them. They whip out written Rx's and start comparing numbers. Of course the add power is different. She was adamant that I was going to change the add power for her. The Dr had to of made a mistake because she could see good out of her friends glasses. Took a while but I assured her to have the Rx filled and if she still thought the numbers needed to be changed we would address it with her after she had used them 8 hrs a day for two weeks. (I need more time in the saddle of my Harley Davidson which provides therapy for PTSD acquired from dealing with such people) :Rolleyes:

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## AdvancedEyecareAZ

> Long time client (PhD candidate) brings in Rx from her new OMD.  Tells me that she knows it's wrong, because the numbers don't look right.  New Doc refracts in + cyl, old OD refracts in - cyl.  Made the glasses according to new rx.  Client picks them up and says she cannot see anything clearly.  Tried to explain transposition as simply as possible.  She doesn't believe me.  Send her back to the OMD.  I called the OMD and asked her do re-check and write in - cyl.  Client is triumphant!  The OMD was wrong!  I carefully cleaned her new glasses and put them on the magic shelf for a week.  Client picked up and her vision was perfect.  #amindisaterriblethingtowaste


I have dealt with something similar to this a few times. Funny how a "professional" telling a patient something fixes everything, while the glasses stay the same.

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## Quantrill

"This lens is defective!  It's not scratched, it's defective!"  The customer then grabs an optical screwdriver and puts a deep gouge on his lens. "Now THAT is a scratch!"

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## CCGREEN

Sometimes its eaiser to keep your sanaity and just tell them what they want to hear. Then just go ahead and do what you know you need to do.
Like the "magic shelf" set them there until you feel they are "ripe".

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## CCGREEN

> "This lens is defective!  It's not scratched, it's defective!"  The customer then grabs an optical screwdriver and puts a deep gouge on his lens. "Now THAT is a scratch!"


Envelope Onvelope     Potato Patato   America Amerrka    Scratch  Gouge       
What the heck. Let them think/call it what ever makes them feel good. Then hand them a warm fuzzy and a cookie and tell them everything will be OK.

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## Robert Martellaro

> Sold a man a woman's frame, reluctantly, because he insisted he wanted that frame.  He picks up the glasses and he is thrilled with how they look.  Two months later, after a visit to LC where they told him that he was wearing a woman's frame, he came in demanding a refund.






http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Glasses

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## iD

> I love these stories.  Makes me feel so not alone in the Optical world.  Being an optician for almost 20 years I've had some doozies.  However, my favorite is when I had only been an in the practice about a year.  An older gentleman came in with his wife and started giving me grief over some glasses that had clearly seen their best days.  When I explained to him there wasn't anything I could do for him at no charge but I would be more than willing to help him pick out a new pair he preceded to get up in my face and tell me he ought to come across the counter and slap me silly.  I was roughly 8 months pregnant at the time.  Needless to say my co-workers intervened and nicely escorted the patient from the store.  His wife later came back and apologized.


you work with great people. I see the wife is the moral authority in that relationship.

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## chaoticneutral

I love the "special" patients. They are my favorite becuase you just never know whats going to happen.  Ill tell you may favorite story about my favorite patient. It was my first optical job in years at a private practice.  A woman came in complaining about the Dr's RX. She was a high plus. Mind you, I was coming in third party on this, I wasn't there for the initial exam or first fitting of her glasses. I talk to her for several hours about what the issue is, her life story, how many cats she lives with, how her son never calls, how shes divorced and now her RX is wrong and she cant see. We re make the glasses after a second refraction.  Not really a change, a little cyl a little dance from the original RX.  She comes in to fit her glasses.  She cant see and is outraged! She start spouting numbers that her RX should be which are completely different from what the DR prescribed.  It should be this and that! Ok Miss XXXX heres what Id like you to.  Im going to give you a slip of paper and I want you to write what ever fantastic numbers you'd like on the paper for your prescription and Slide it across the desk to me, and that's what we will fill your RX to.  Over hearing this was the office manager and the doctor in the office and they had to close the glass window so the patient couldn't hear them hysterically laughing.  Fortunately she moved out of state shortly after that.  I disagree that only 20% of people are crazy.  It more like only 20% are sane.

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## CCGREEN

> I love these stories.  Makes me feel so not alone in the Optical world.  Being an optician for almost 20 years I've had some doozies.  However, my favorite is when I had only been an in the practice about a year.  An older gentleman came in with his wife and started giving me grief over some glasses that had clearly seen their best days.  When I explained to him there wasn't anything I could do for him at no charge but I would be more than willing to help him pick out a new pair he preceded to get up in my face and tell me he ought to come across the counter and slap me silly.  I was roughly 8 months pregnant at the time.  Needless to say my co-workers intervened and nicely escorted the patient from the store.  His wife later came back and apologized.


What is it about some guys that think its OK to try and belittle and intimidate women? That's one of the few things that get's my BP jacked up in just two hart beats. Just reading the story torques me! If you don't behave that way towards your momma what makes you think its OK to behave like that towards ANY woman? 
OK its Friday. I better get off my stump before I mess up my weekend. 4 more hours and I am finished for the weekend.

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## WFruit

Let's see...  All of the patients who come in to complain that the medicine has run out of their glasses and they can't see any more (not surprising since the glasses in question are usually 5+ years old).  I guess this stems from them needing a prescription for the lenses.

All of the patients who have come in to tell me that their nose pads smell funny.

The one very nice, very insane lady who had to have special frame materials so that it didn't disturb her chi flow.  When picking up the pair she finally settled on, I gave her instructions that, for maintaining the best center of balance in life, that her lenses should be cleaned with fresh (less than three days old) rain water, or, better yet, freshly collected (that morning) dew from wild grasses (not your front yard).  She thanked me profusely for my insights, saying that she had always felt that normal cleaning didn't properly cleanse (her word) the lenses.  She floated (almost) out of the store the happiest person in the world.  

The very angry lady who came in with her mother complaining that her mother couldn't see out of her glasses.  After checking the lenses, and then the frame, I tried to explain to her that these weren't the glasses that we sold her.  After about an hour of arguing, being threatened that her husband was a lawyer (to which I responded, "That doesn't matter." to which she had no idea how to respond, since I wasn't intimidated in the slightest), and going back and forth, she asked her mother if she was sure these were the most recent glasses she had purchased.  Her mother replied, no, she had lost her glasses, and those were ones she had picked out of the lost and found at her retirement community.  The daughter was shocked and humbled, and I managed (barely) to not say "I told you so."

The gentleman who came in, perfectly normal, asking if there was a way to get scratches out of his lenses (a common request).  The optician explain that it wasn't, and why.  The man thanked her, and went on to explain that they had become scratched when the government had broadcast their secret beam at him, causing him to fling one of his arms up into the air and knock his glasses off.  Also the communists were out to get him, but only the ones from Cuba, because he knew that Castro was a robot sent from space to take over all the island countries in the world (I have to admit that was a new one to me).  It went on for another half hour or so before he left.  I had to retreat to the back of the store a couple of times, not to avoid laughing at the man (because I really do love listening to people like that), but to avoid laughing at the optician, who had no idea what to do, and who could only smile, nod, and make the occasional sympathetic comment.

The one man who became so angry (I'm not even sure what about) that he took off his coat, stuffed it into the trash can, and stormed out of the store...

Remember folks, not all the crazy people out there are bad.  And besides, it's all relative, since they all think they're sane, and the rest of us are nuts.

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## kdw613

A number of years ago...I worked in a mall and went from one Optical to another. So this patient comes in, winds up and throws his glasses at me (hitting me in the chest) and started a scene. He ranted, raved and screamed as loud as he could to get attention. He went on about a wrong prescription, delays, waiting too long, you suck, your company sucks, etc... After his tirade I asked for the receipt. During this time, an associate called Mall security. So security shows up, as he crinkles his receipt and throws it at me (naturally)...WRONG STORE...Security asked what I wanted to do, I said "well escort this ******* out of here to the other Optical in the Mall, as he bought his glasses there." I got some applause from the crowd that gathered. TOUCHE'!!!

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## kdw613

[QUOTE=WFruit;497197]Let's see...  All of the patients who come in to complain that the medicine has run out of their glasses and they can't see any more (not surprising since the glasses in question are usually 5+ years old).  I guess this stems from them needing a prescription for the lenses.

...even funnier is when I am told the "Subscription" or "Medicine" has run out of the glasses...makes me snicker every time...

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## Boldt

I think my two best are:

I'm training a new person, telling her about prescriptions and expirations, and a guy came in and said he wanted new lenses in his frames. No prob,I look him up and it's been expired for three years. I tell him that he would need a new Rx and I could him seen right then. He blows up. The classic I see just fine with these lenses, just remake them, ect. I try and explain that my hands are tied and legally I can't help him. So he yells that he's glad this is the U.S because now we can have different opinions (Lost me on that one) and turns to go. I tell him in to have a good day. He comes back, get in my face asking if I'm kicking him out. I tell him I nope, just wishing him a good day. He gets livid, I mean screaming and cussing mad. I finally look at the new person and tell her this is one of the rare times I'll do this, look back at him and just say "OUT". He gets quite walks out like I just took the wind outa his sales. 

The other is when I was yelled, well as much as a southern lady, at by a little old lady that by tipping her glasses I was letting the Rx out.  o.O

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## ak47

> I think my two best are:
> 
> I'm training a new person, telling her about prescriptions and expirations, and a guy came in and said he wanted new lenses in his frames. No prob,I look him up and it's been expired for three years. I tell him that he would need a new Rx and I could him seen right then. He blows up. The classic I see just fine with these lenses, just remake them, ect. I try and explain that my hands are tied and legally I can't help him. So he yells that he's glad this is the U.S because now we can have different opinions (Lost me on that one) and turns to go. I tell him in to have a good day. He comes back, get in my face asking if I'm kicking him out. I tell him I nope, just wishing him a good day. He gets livid, I mean screaming and cussing mad. I finally look at the new person and tell her this is one of the rare times I'll do this, look back at him and just say "OUT". He gets quite walks out like I just took the wind outa his sales. 
> 
> The other is when I was yelled, well as much as a southern lady, at by a little old lady that by tipping her glasses I was letting the Rx out.  o.O



Don't cry over spilled perrrscriptions.

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## golfnut

Had a pt come in with a pair of silhouette glasses that we made that he couldn't see out of. I started checking and first noticed they were two sizes too small,  then checked the rx and it wasn't even close.  I told the pt these were not the pair we made, he proceeded to start getting loud and cursing saying we were full of s***. I asked if he could possibly have his wife's glasses and of course I didn't know what I was talking about???  I told the pt to leave then with me and if he would just look around his house or in his car I would appreciate it. I noticed inside the case he left was another optical shop so I called and explained what was going on and asked if they had a woman on file with the same last name who happened to purchase silhouette frames and the answer was yes! Next day pt walks in with a "I was an a**"  look on his face and HIS glasses in his hand!  I could tell he felt like s*** so I smiled, grabbed the glasses, cleaned them and gave them back and said these should fix your problem!  We laugh about every time he comes back in.

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## ziggy

> So what's your best story?


After nearly 30 years in the biz I've seen a lot of crazy. The latest is a lady that was pi$$ed that I could not see in my computer an order that was placed at "another lencrafters", we are an independent MD practice.  :Banghead:  And then the boss, (not an Optician) wondered why we lost the sale!

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## globaljp

Nicely Done. I had a man like that not understand and said I was confused. S i got him a stock lens that had both RXs. See Sir its the same lens written both ways.....

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## CajunOptician

I had a patient call me to inform me that the bifocals on her lenses "fell off" at some point and they were now single vision.


I delicately explained to her that there was no possible way that could happen.


Turns out she had been purchasing the same frame for years and had previously been fit into single vision lenses. She had misplaced her bifocals and found one of her old single vision eyeglasses and actually believed her bifocals "fell off" the lenses.

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## SharonB

> I had a patient call me to inform me that the bifocals on her lenses "fell off" at some point and they were now single vision.
> 
> 
> I delicately explained to her that there was no possible way that could happen.
> 
> 
> 
> Turns out she had been purchasing the same frame for years and had previously been fit into single vision lenses. She had misplaced her bifocals and found one of her old single vision eyeglasses and actually believed her bifocals "fell off" the lenses.


Funny, but I was acutely embarassed about 13 years ago for making a patient look like a fool ( and ultimately myself too!). But, I was the fool. It turned out that she had Fresnel segs on her glasses for diagnostic reasons...and they DID fall off! :cry:

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## fjpod

Had a patient many years ago, that had been wearing soft contacts for at least 20 years.  One day when she was in the supermarket, all of a sudden, she couldn't see clearly from one eye.  She felt that her CL had slipped up or somewhere in her eye and she didn't know what to do about it.  She went to the managers desk and had them call an ambulance.  They took her to the hospital and found nothing in her eye, and nothing really wrong, other than her CL must have fallen out.  

Well, it seems like her insurance didn't want to pay for the $500 ambulance ride.  She came in one day soon after and demanded that I pay for it.  I turned her down, saying that as a CL wearer for over 20 years, she should have realized that if a CL slipped off of, or out of her eye, that this did not warrant an ambulance ride.  And, that as a CL wearer she should always be prepared with a spare set of lenses or a pair of glasses.  She did not persist.  Her and her family came back to me for several years after that, but I have not seen them anymore in the last 5 years.

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## sharpstick777

An 83 year old woman confessed her undying love for me at the dispensing table...

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## Mizikal

We had an older lady years ago that came in for an exam and got glasses. She always complimented my hair becuase she had to wear a wig and she would always talk about how her dad changed her birth certificate so she could work in the mines. That does not sound to crazy but that is almost all she said. In the end we gave her a refund on her glasses and if memory serves the exam also it was a rare case. She would then call or come in and would demand the $3 we owed her. I have no idea where that came from but we gave her $3 to be done with her and it was $3 well spent. Months later I saw her in the store as I was leaving (I was still at walmart). I know she recognized me because she started to talk but I kept right on going. I felt bad for her because she obviously had  dementia of one form or another. Her daughter was trying to get her an in home nurse.

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## eyavitzmd

I once had a lady come into the office stating her vision in the left eye suddenly went bad while she was riding in the car with her husband.  I noticed her left lens was missing and suggested she look on the floor of the car, where she indeed found the lens.

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## Uncle Fester

Worked in Downtown Boston next to the "combat zone" of Billy Joel fame in the late 70's. Had specials "complete for $40" (free initials).

Guy comes in demanding his $20 deposit back from mrmac for a 6 month old pair we made up and still had waiting for pick up. He was politely told that the deposit is non refundable and the glasses are still here even though we could have broken them down and kept the deposit after 3 months. He gets upset and starts telling us about how he's been locked up at Deer Island House of Correction for lack of child support and couldn't pick them up. 

Mrmac kind of goes "sooo???"

Guy storms out.

A minute later comes back in with another guy who starts telling us how "I'm a lawyer and this is my client and I demand you refund his money".

I step in sensing he's brought back a friend and with my most serious face look him in the eye and tell him- "As a lawyer you should know his recourse is through small claims court where our lawyer can talk to you and the judge. By the way- do you have a card?" 

Mrmac chimes in "You can pay the balance for him if you want."

They leave never to be heard from again...

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## himmeroo

A lady came in a couple of days after I dispensed her new glasses, complaining that they weren't correct. I asked what the problem was. She says," When I put them on the TV is upside down". I refunded her on the spot as I had no idea how to fix crazy.

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## WFruit

> A lady came in a couple of days after I dispensed her new glasses, complaining that they weren't correct. I asked what the problem was. She says," When I put them on the TV is upside down". I refunded her on the spot as I had no idea how to fix crazy.


Perhaps not . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_M._Stratton 

http://www.theguardian.com/education...ng-upside-down

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## ak47

> Perhaps not . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_M._Stratton 
> 
> http://www.theguardian.com/education...ng-upside-down



...come on, we all know, YOU CAN'T FIX CRAZY !!!!

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## WFruit

> ...come on, we all know, YOU CAN'T FIX CRAZY !!!!


Well, not me personally, but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethlem_Royal_Hospital

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## BigGuy

Had a patient come back into my lab area after picking up his glasses to ask me if I know if aliens were beaming microwaves at us. I wasn't quite sure how to answer so I said I didn't know. He looked me dead in the eye, got a huge smile on his face and said "I do! I see everything with these new glasses!" Then he turned around and left. Never saw him again.

Had another pick up his new glasses and tell me how pleased he was. Stated he had never in his life seen this well. Came back 2 days later and demanded a refund. Said now everything in his apartment "looked filthy dirty" and he couldn't stand it. Had him see the doc again and we all agreed the best option was to remake them in his old rx. That seemed to solve the problem.

Another picked up his new progressives and proceeded to go to the front window and one eye at a time look out of every corner of the lenses. Came back to the dispensing table and told me they were unacceptable because he couldn't see well at a distance when he lifted his chin and looked way to the left. I tried to explain that no progressive would allow him to see distance when he did that and asked if he could do that with his current glasses. He said no, that was why he knew he needed a new rx. Then he put the glasses down on the dispensing table and thanked me for my time. As he left he said he would not be back. He had paid for the glasses in full when he ordered them. Never asked for a refund and never returned.

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## Mizikal

> . He had paid for the glasses in full when he ordered them. Never asked for a refund and never returned.



He didn't ask for his money back? That is crazy!

----------


## MelissaL

I once had a 80 year old woman swear that I stole a $100 bill from her.  She claimed that she paid her $20 copay as soon as she walked in the door and I never gave her the change back. I tried to explain that we do never collect a copay before exams because our computer system doesn't allow us to enter payment without a CPT and diagnosis code.  She insisted I was lying and that I could clearly use the money. I should mention that I was 8 months pregnant and looked like I could pop at any moment.  She stormed out of the office after screaming at me in front of about 20 other patients and called me a thief and a liar.  Being pregnant and emotional, I had a good cry and was seriously worried that I would be fired after being accused of theft.  Thank goodness the manager and doctor thought she was crazy and believed me. I worked at the practice for 6 years and had a wonderful reputation and knew that I would never do something like. I was off the next day and it turns out the lady came back in the office the following morning and asked for the manager to tell her that she wanted to apologize because she found the $100 bill in a different pocket in her purse.

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## ak47

> I once had a 80 year old woman swear that I stole a $100 bill from her.  She claimed that she paid her $20 copay as soon as she walked in the door and I never gave her the change back. I tried to explain that we do never collect a copay before exams because our computer system doesn't allow us to enter payment without a CPT and diagnosis code.  She insisted I was lying and that I could clearly use the money. I should mention that I was 8 months pregnant and looked like I could pop at any moment.  She stormed out of the office after screaming at me in front of about 20 other patients and called me a thief and a liar.  Being pregnant and emotional, I had a good cry and was seriously worried that I would be fired after being accused of theft.  Thank goodness the manager and doctor thought she was crazy and believed me. I worked at the practice for 6 years and had a wonderful reputation and knew that I would never do something like. I was off the next day and it turns out the lady came back in the office the following morning and asked for the manager to tell her that she wanted to apologize because she found the $100 bill in a different pocket in her purse.


a small amount of consciousness can be a very dangerous thing.

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## bwarren

In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her . :Redface:

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## CME4SPECS

I had a guy in here yesterday that had fallen, his fall was stopped my his face, which had a pair of glasses on. The metal frame was MANGLED, one temple was bent 90 degrees and was sticking straight out. I told the gentleman that I would attempt to bend it back to where it belonged, but there was a chance that it would break while doing so. He says you mean I'd have to buy a new frame then? Yes sir if it breaks you would need a new frame. I explained that there was only one way  find out and that was to just try to bend it back. I explained that I had all of the tools and the know how to do it but that was no guarantee that it wouldn't break and that I was not going to be responsible when it breaks. He looks at me, takes the frame out of my hand and says I'll go find someone else. I wished him luck. Geez...people!

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## Robert Martellaro

Y'all need to put up 'no bozos' signs on your doors.

----------


## bob_f_aboc

> In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her .


We had a patient in last week that had her credit cards, insurance cards, and driver license wrapped in foil and kept that bundle in her wallet (wrapped in foil) in her purse (lined with foil).  She said it stops the scanners from reading her information.

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## mdeimler

> We had a patient in last week that had her credit cards, insurance cards, and driver license wrapped in foil and kept that bundle in her wallet (wrapped in foil) in her purse (lined with foil).  She said it stops the scanners from reading her information.


Actually, it stops the SCANNERS from messing up her cards, the strip where the info is kept, if my memory serves me correctly.  The beams cannot penetrate the foil.

----------


## ak47

> In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her .


Wow, I haven't seen that one before, but if I did I know what I'd be thinking to myself every time she walked thru the front door........................................................  ......FOILED AGAIN !!!

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## newguyaroundhere

> Actually, it stops the SCANNERS from messing up her cards, the strip where the info is kept, if my memory serves me correctly.  The beams cannot penetrate the foil.


If her cards were installed with a RFID chip then I could see why she would do this.

----------


## Robert Martellaro



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## theGross1

"I have to have polycarbonate lenses because I am allergic to plastic"

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## tntborden

Many years ago I had an elderly lady come in and tell me her bifocals  were to high. I asked to look at them and she said, "Oh it's not your  fault, they were fine when I got them. But at night when I take them  off, I don't want to fold the temples so I set them upside down on the  bedside table and the bifocals have slid.  So when I put them on in the morning they are to high. I ask her how  long she has had them and she says about two weeks. Thinking quickly, I  tell her no problem for the next two weeks, turn them over on the night  stand and they will go right back into place after that just fold them  up normal and they will be fine.
A month later she brought me a pie to thank me from saving her the cost of new lenses.

That's when I learned, don't argue with crazy people, just be crazy  right along with them. It makes the job much easier and you get pie.

Thomas

----------


## Paul Smith LDO

I need to make an appointment with the dentist, yes ma'am we are an optical clinic we do eye exams and sell glasses and contacts.  Are you trying to be funny, no ma'am we are a no fun zone.  Well I need to see a dentist, I'm sorry ma'am but I can't help you with that.  F*** you I need my teeth cleaned, sorry ma'am I can't help you with that.  What kind of dental office are you, a very poor one ma'am.  Why do you have glasses in your office, to confuse the public ma'am.  Well if I need glasses maybe I'll come back but this is the worst dental office I've ever been in, have a Merry Christmas ma'am.

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## Browman

"I am a queen and I should be treated like one" (from a woman wearing a crown. I s--- you not).

----------


## Joyley

> I have never had to do this, came close a few times though. I do everything I can to deescalate the issue, including stepping away and turn it over to someone else.
> But I have always said that I draw the line when it comes to physical assault from a customer/patient. That kind of behavior we do not need in our profession. There is always a extra room in the local county bar room hilton for them. I just don't want them coming back and shooting the place up.
> Which this leads me to another question I have always asked. With all the personality's we have to deal with why do we not ever get any ed hours in physiology so that we may better understand the type people we deal with and how to handle situations?


In our dispensary they _always_ give me the difficult patients. Apparently they think I have a skill for working with the crazy ones because before I became an optician I worked as a Special Ed Aide in our area schools.  So yes, I would say that education has really helped me a lot dealing with some patients!!! (and the occasional optician!)

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## chaoticneutral

I dunno if this will size up to some of the stories here but ill give it a go. 
We made two pair of glasses for this 86 year old guy.  After going back and forth with his Dr and trying to get the correct RX and 4 Rx's later we finally made him 2 pair of glasses that he could see out of. When he tried them on in the store they were wonderful, but when he got home he couldn't see a thing out of them.  I suggested that it may be a lighting issue.  He told me he was going down to the army/navy store to get a runway spot light.  I laughed but he was serious. He just came in with two pair of glasses that he thought we made him.  He told us that he cant see out of either of the glasses.  He called the Dr's office where he got the RX and brought them the glasses.  They agreed that the glasses he brought were from an older RX and the poor guy is just in a terrible way. I came up with an idea to have him bring all the glasses he had so we can neutralize the glasses and find out which ones were his. Bad news bears. He told me that he took all of his extra glasses and donated them to the lions club except for the two pair that he brought in. I called the doctors office and they agreed that he came in with a bag full of glasses and there's probably no way to find them because they have a ton of boxes who knows where they are.  Fortunately our lab took pity on us and are sending us 4 more ft 28's bless their hearts.  Im sending them chocolate chip cookies.

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## AngeHamm

> I dunno if this will size up to some of the stories here but ill give it a go. 
> We made two pair of glasses for this 86 year old guy.  After going back and forth with his Dr and trying to get the correct RX and 4 Rx's later we finally made him 2 pair of glasses that he could see out of. When he tried them on in the store they were wonderful, but when he got home he couldn't see a thing out of them.  I suggested that it may be a lighting issue.  He told me he was going down to the army/navy store to get a runway spot light.  I laughed but he was serious. He just came in with two pair of glasses that he thought we made him.  He told us that he cant see out of either of the glasses.  He called the Dr's office where he got the RX and brought them the glasses.  They agreed that the glasses he brought were from an older RX and the poor guy is just in a terrible way. I came up with an idea to have him bring all the glasses he had so we can neutralize the glasses and find out which ones were his. Bad news bears. He told me that he took all of his extra glasses and donated them to the lions club except for the two pair that he brought in. I called the doctors office and they agreed that he came in with a bag full of glasses and there's probably no way to find them because they have a ton of boxes who knows where they are.  Fortunately our lab took pity on us and are sending us 4 more ft 28's bless their hearts.  Im sending them chocolate chip cookies.


Good on you, and on your lab!

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## RIMLESS

And this is why this profession occasionally makes me feel like throwing up in my mouth😎

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## pseudonym

> Fortunately she moved out of state shortly after that.


Lucky you, but I hope she didn't move to NC. We have enough already.

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## opty4062

Phone call today, pt complains of not being able to get used to her new glasses. When told she needed to come back to the office, bring the glasses and let us double check the fit and talk about her problems in person she asked: "Can my Mom just drop them off and y'all fix them and call me?"  *sigh*

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## Dirk

> Phone call today, pt complains of not being able to get used to her new glasses. When told she needed to come back to the office, bring the glasses and let us double check the fit and talk about her problems in person she asked: "Can my Mom just drop them off and y'all fix them and call me?" *sigh*


The next time that happens ask the patient to put her glasses next to her smartphone so you can perform a remote scan and update her progressives with the latest software update. If all fails suggest a remote CAT scan for any brain activity.

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## cjorden

> Long time client (PhD candidate) brings in Rx from her new OMD.  Tells me that she knows it's wrong, because the numbers don't look right.  New Doc refracts in + cyl, old OD refracts in - cyl.  Made the glasses according to new rx.  Client picks them up and says she cannot see anything clearly.  Tried to explain transposition as simply as possible.  She doesn't believe me.  Send her back to the OMD.  I called the OMD and asked her do re-check and write in - cyl.  Client is triumphant!  The OMD was wrong!  I carefully cleaned her new glasses and put them on the magic shelf for a week.  Client picked up and her vision was perfect.  #amindisaterriblethingtowaste


You have a magic shelf too?!?  Imagine that.  HAHAHAHA :Bounce:   I don't know how any optical cannot have one!

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## COMEINPEACE

WE also had to invest in magical pliers and other various tools in addition to a magic shelf 
you cannot believe what a difference they make!

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## Boldt

The magic tools are the best! And don't forget the Mythical LAB that fixes anything.

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## jcasowder

> Lucky you, but I hope she didn't move to NC. We have enough already.




AMEN! Been to MD, VA, IL, and MO. Definitely a higher concentration of nutjobs in NC!

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## icmor

An elderly woman came in yesterday and told me that something was drastically wrong with her new glasses, and that they were ruining her eyes.  When I inquired as to what the problem was, she said that when she took off her glasses, she got double vision.  I looked at her Rx and she has 7 diopters of vertical prism!  I patiently explained why she needs to wear them all the time, and she was happy I explained it to her.  Glad I didn't go with the response I really wanted;  Repeatedly hit myself upside the head and say, "Why does it feel better when I stop?!!!"

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## Blunder Woman

Had a patient last week who really liked my eye make up and asked lots of questions about the products and tools that I use. Nice, right? Who doesn't love a compliment. I was surprised today when she came in with a bag of makeup and started to pull it out on the diepensing table. She wanted me to give her a makeup tutorial because "You help people with their eyes, don't you?"

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## Paul Smith LDO

> Had a patient last week who really liked my eye make up and asked lots of questions about the products and tools that I use. Nice, right? Who doesn't love a compliment. I was surprised today when she came in with a bag of makeup and started to pull it out on the diepensing table. She wanted me to give her a makeup tutorial because "You help people with their eyes, don't you?"


I'm jealous, in all the years that I have doing this, not one of my patients has brought in a bag full of cosmetic products and asked for my assistance with color and application.  Still waiting, with lip stick and rouge in hand.

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## Varangian

> WE also had to invest in magical pliers and other various tools in addition to a magic shelf 
> you cannot believe what a difference they make!


Not always magical... This happened to a colleague. A woman entered the store with a pair of glasses in urgent need of adjustment. She hadn't bought them there, and the optician told her that there was a risk that they could break, and that it would be better if she went back to the original store due to warranties and all. The woman told the optician that if he couldn't help her, she would do it herself and asked for the stand holding the pliers. She took a pair of pliers without looking too closely at them and applied them to the temple. *snip!* Turned out she had picked the side cutting pliers... She slunk out without any further comment.

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## buckeyefan

About two years ago a pt. came in and asked if we could buff out the scratches in his glasses.  I explained to him that we could not.  He demanded that there had to be a way.  A couple of weeks later he called back telling us he had gotten the scratches out of his glasses by rubbing toothpaste all over them.  Haven't seen or heard from him since.

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## smallworld

Long ago I had a patient who's son's sunglasses had a slight red hue/ dark grey tint.  She came back complaining the "red" in his eyes was making him Satanic.

Once a man started digging through our Lion's club donation box, put a pair on, and came over to me and asked if he could keep them because he needed a pair and miracle of miracles-this pair was his exact prescription.  I tried logic, than just let him keep them.

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## Dr. Bill Stacy

Then there's the chiropractor who had cured all his patients' vision, and his own vision by some strange "no touch" incantations.  He looked over 50 to me so I handed him a reading card and asked if he could read the middle row, about 20/40.  He said "Of course not, it's too small!"

I handed him a pair of readers and said "How about now?"   He replied "Of course, you made the print larger!".  

I calmly told him "You need glasses, and just about all of your patients your age do too.  The power of suggestion only goes so far."

  He got this strange look, turned around and never came back.

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## ex-optician

> About two years ago a pt. came in and asked if we could buff out the scratches in his glasses. I explained to him that we could not. He demanded that there had to be a way. A couple of weeks later he called back telling us he had gotten the scratches out of his glasses by rubbing toothpaste all over them. Haven't seen or heard from him since.


I had brake fluid mark up the instrument display on my motorcycle. After rubbbing vigoursly with tooth paste for a few minutes the cloudy marks were no longer visible. It would probably work on old head lights as well. I imagine on cr-39 it could remove superficial scratches but leave some distortion.

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## CCGREEN

> I had brake fluid mark up the instrument display on my motorcycle. After rubbbing vigoursly with tooth paste for a few minutes the cloudy marks were no longer visible. It would probably work on old head lights as well. I imagine on cr-39 it could remove superficial scratches but leave some distortion.


Key word there, "superficial".... Shoot I have even used lemon pledge furniture polish on cr-39 to remove those real light cleaning scratches.

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## kat

Years ago, I had a client that wanted to see like Chickens see. Put her in a full spectrum lens and she was as happy as her chickens.

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## rdcoach5

> About two years ago a pt. came in and asked if we could buff out the scratches in his glasses.  I explained to him that we could not.  He demanded that there had to be a way.  A couple of weeks later he called back telling us he had gotten the scratches out of his glasses by rubbing toothpaste all over them.  Haven't seen or heard from him since.



I regularly use Boston cleaner or similar polish on scratches to smooth them out. toothpaste is a mild abrasive and probably works the same. You shouldn't try to polish very much or you start taking off the Rx, scratch cotes and etc.

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## mervinek

So I just had a patient come in today that told me she is very unhappy with the glasses she got in July.  She is angry that the finish is wearing off (banana republic frame).  I told her they were under warranty and we would order her a new frame.  Then she told me that she's dropped them on the tile floor several times and the finish chipped so she keeps painting them with enamel (that you use for models?) and the enamel does not stay on.  She was mad that the enamel does not stay on the frame and didn't think a new frame was a good idea because this one didn't hold up very well.  Good Grief!

----------


## Lab Insight

> So I just had a patient come in today that told me she is very unhappy with the glasses she got in July.  She is angry that the finish is wearing off (banana republic frame).  I told her they were under warranty and we would order her a new frame.  Then she told me that she's dropped them on the tile floor several times and the finish chipped so she keeps painting them with enamel (that you use for models?) and the enamel does not stay on.  She was mad that the enamel does not stay on the frame and didn't think a new frame was a good idea because this one didn't hold up very well.  Good Grief!


Tell her that she should experience what she would receive from an online supplier.

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## Alex Camblor

We had a patient with the same complaint but the frame was out of warranty.  She told us her son knew how to paint and brought it back with a terrible purple spray paint job wanting to update the lenses in them.

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## King of the Lab

I have a patient that buys a 6 month supply of contacts and wears them for 2 years and wonders why he gets really nasty infections. One time he came in and I swear his eye was so swollen it looked liked it was bulging out of his eye socket, he looked at us and said he waited three weeks for it to go away before coming in. He also mentioned that he is quite sure that he can wear his lens this long and that we as an optical practice simply try to scam him by proclaiming that he needs to get a fitting yearly and or order contacts after the recommended usage wear time is up.

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## mervinek

I had a patient bring in his own Snellen Chart when he picked up his glasses... and then tell me it had to be 10 feet away.

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## tcui

Regarding to the story in the OP, shouldn't you report to the child protection organization so the kid will be under proper protection? Isn't the behavior of the mum is kind of child abuse that needs some intervene?

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## Sunshine1967

I had a lady come in a pick up her new glasses, she went to the bank right after then went home.  She came back immediately and told me she had asked the teller how much money was in her account and she wrote it down.  When she went home, there was a truck parked in front of her house that had the exact same numbers on it.  She was convinced I had put a microchip in her lenses and I needed to remove it!  Once I realized I wasn't going to be able to make her believe I had not, I agreed to send them in.  Yes I put them in a tray and called her a week later and everything was perfect!  A couple of years later when she got new glasses again, she advised me NOT to put that chip back in because I could get into a lot of trouble.

----------


## mervinek

Oh my... had an outside patient come in yesterday.  She took 2 hours (second time she came in to look) to select a pair of glasses.  Finally made her decision and I made a copy of her Rx and began to write down the order (we are in the process of a new computer system so orders are hand written for now).  Apparently she did not like the mono Pd measurement I got and insisted that it was wrong.  She had me re-measure her 3 times (got same thing each time) and in the end insisted that I order with the measurements that she wanted.  During all this, she kept taking the copy of the rx that I made and I kept telling her that it was my copy.  We ended up having her sign a waver stating that if she wanted to use measurements different from what our office measures, all warranties/remakes on the glasses are void.  She signs it and then asks what would happen if the rx needs changed.  Told her it was her cost because she signed the waver.  After all that she told me that it was not a pleasant experience.  Asked her if she would like to speak to the office manager and if she was sure she still wanted to place the order.  She said yes she wanted to place the order but did not want to speak to the office manager. After she left, I realized she took the copy I made of the rx.  I really regret not telling her that we were unable to help her and that she should have going elsewhere.  (She had told me that she's been to 6 different offices already to look at glasses).  As a general rule, I have always done my best to help people, no matter how rude they are.  I have never told anyone to leave.  I really need to do that.  There are just some situations that no matter what you do, people are going to treat you poorly and be rude.

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## Judy Canty

This was your first clue...(She had told me that she's been to 6 different offices already to look at glasses).

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## mervinek

Yes.  That is true.  I ordered stock lenses and ordered the frame (so they can be returned) and am going to wait to process her payment and her insurance until next week.  Told her they will take a week to make so I have time in case she cancels.  I sort of hope she does.

----------


## domshadd

While working at Lenscrafters (1 hour service) I had to come out of the lab to let a Pt know we needed to rework his lenses because they didn't come out right. He said "Oh, it's an hour or it's free right?" so we all started laughing. He was dead serious. No, sir, this isn't dominos...

----------


## Trina

I have a patient who has been coming in every few weeks with his frames bent completely out of alignment and the eyewires bent. He swears up and down that he has never sat on them or fallen asleep in them and the frames just do this on their own. He's convinced that it's just a flawed frame design.

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## skt

ahhhhhhhhh...the magic shelf...whatever would we do without it!.....:)

----------


## bwarren

About a month ago a patient came in said one of her horses stepped on her glasses. I adjusted them she was happy. Then Today she came back.She stated that she put her glasses in her case and when she took them out this morning the temples were bent down . I adjusted them and handed them back to her . Just then her husband came in and said are they straight ?  Then he says ,  you know it would help if you would stop stepping on them .  The patient gave her husband a nasty look and left . Everyone treats their glasses like gold ,always in the case and never wipes them dry  ! :Bounce:

----------


## WFruit

Guy gets out of his very nice luxury Cadillac that has a "I earned a Purple Heart" license plate on it. He's probably in his late 70's, using a cane to walk. Comes in and shows me a pair of glasses that have obviously been chewed on by a medium to large sized dog, judging by the teeth marks in the lenses. He says to me "Darn dog chewed me glasses. I know that probably isn't covered by the warranty. What do I need to do to get a new pair?" Sir, just for being honest with me about what happened to them, I do believe those lenses _are_ covered under the scratch warranty.

Lady comes in, probably mid 50's, lots of flashy jewelry, probably 15 rings on 8 fingers, and a visible cloud of perfume. Gives me the remains of a pair of glasses that were probably chewed on by a large dog, or possibly a bear. "Ah don't know what could have happened. I put them in the case in my nightstand drawer last night, and when I woke up this morning they were just like this! You can just make me a new pair under warranty can't cha?" First lets get a new frame for you. By the way, how old is your dog? "Oh he's just going on 6 months old now.... .... .... Now how did you know I had a dog?" Because that's what happened to these glasses. Nice of your dog to put them back in their case in your nightstand when he was done with them. No, this sort of damage isn't covered by any warranty, a new pair will be a full price.

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## AngeHamm

> Guy gets out of his very nice luxury Cadillac that has a "I earned a Purple Heart" license plate on it. He's probably in his late 70's, using a cane to walk. Comes in and shows me a pair of glasses that have obviously been chewed on by a medium to large sized dog, judging by the teeth marks in the lenses. He says to me "Darn dog chewed me glasses. I know that probably isn't covered by the warranty. What do I need to do to get a new pair?" Sir, just for being honest with me about what happened to them, I do believe those lenses _are_ covered under the scratch warranty.
> 
> Lady comes in, probably mid 50's, lots of flashy jewelry, probably 15 rings on 8 fingers, and a visible cloud of perfume. Gives me the remains of a pair of glasses that were probably chewed on by a large dog, or possibly a bear. "Ah don't know what could have happened. I put them in the case in my nightstand drawer last night, and when I woke up this morning they were just like this! You can just make me a new pair under warranty can't cha?" First lets get a new frame for you. By the way, how old is your dog? "Oh he's just going on 6 months old now.... .... .... Now how did you know I had a dog?" Because that's what happened to these glasses. Nice of your dog to put them back in their case in your nightstand when he was done with them. No, this sort of damage isn't covered by any warranty, a new pair will be a full price.


100%

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## smallworld

My laugh for the week:

A patient tries on her new progressive glasses and checks out the reading card and quips" Well I'm sure it's going to take a bit to get used to my Invisalines"

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## mervinek

I guess that's why they always give me their dental insurance card when they want to know their coverage! ALL THE TIME!!!!


> My laugh for the week:
> 
> A patient tries on her new progressive glasses and checks out the reading card and quips" Well I'm sure it's going to take a bit to get used to my Invisalines"

----------


## vv0vv

> I guess that's why they always give me their dental insurance card when they want to know their coverage! ALL THE TIME!!!!


You should set up a chair in the back and hire a dentist. You'll make a killing  :Giggle:

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## AngeHamm

If you do in-office finishing, you could have the sound of an edger coming from one room and a dentist's drill coming from another. A really serene environment.

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## cowboytelemark

> Had a patient last week who really liked my eye make up and asked lots of questions about the products and tools that I use. Nice, right? Who doesn't love a compliment. I was surprised today when she came in with a bag of makeup and started to pull it out on the diepensing table. She wanted me to give her a makeup tutorial because "You help people with their eyes, don't you?"



Funny!  Reminds me of the time a woman came in and dumped a grocery sack of arrowheads on the dispensing table.  She wanted me to appraise them because I used to be an archaeologist.  Then she proceeded to tell me that she illegally collected them from federal lands.  Then she asked me not to tell anyone that.  Good thing she picked up all those artifacts that had been laying there for hundreds to thousands of years.  That way they could live in her grocery sack.

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## lensmanmd

You want Bats**t crazy?  Check out some of the posting on Opticians on Facebook.  The stuff we post on this thread pale in comparison.  Then again, I believe that we are a bit more professional here..............................

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## GAgirl

lensmanmd I am a member of that group on Facebook and you ain't kidding!

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## stuebespectacles

I'm probably going to hell for laughing about this, but...
Reluctant patient came in for exam with his father. Come to find out he was high on meth or something. I overhear them arguing loudly about the appointment. The patient starts cussing out his father for making him come. Then the father says, "Aaron! You can't keep wearing your sister's glasses!"

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## optical24/7

I'm sure I posted this someplace on OB, but apparently not here....

This was a number of years ago. I was working a Saturday by myself, all my help out. I was 8 deep in the dispensary, people waiting for me when this lady comes rushing in and interrupts me at the dispensing table as I was helping a patient.

 She proceeds, " When ever I do this my glasses slip down my face!"  She then spreads her legs, bend down 90 degrees at her waist and vigorously shakes her head back and forth like a pit bull tearing meat off a bone...

 I calmly observe, then ask her with a straight face, " So, do you perform this move frequently?"

 She stands upright, thought for a moment, then murmurs, " Well, I guess not "....

 I was the only one in the room not laughing their heads off, though I wanted to. And oh, the comments made after she left....


*( Yes, I did an extremely minor adjustment on her glasses so she could shake her head all day long...)

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## kdw613

I was working in an MD's office and we were short handed, so I helped out with Patient Histories and getting people into rooms. So, "Little Johnny" (5 years old) was with his Mom. He was having trouble seeing the board in school. After I pre-tested, I got them into a room. I sat Little Johnny in the Chair and told him that he Doctor would be in shortly. Mom asked to use the bathroom and instructed Little Johnny to stay seated. I went onto the next patient. So Doc was about to enter, when Mom greeted her to go in. There was Little Johnny...BUCK NAKED and excited for his Dr. Exam. The Mom, Doc and the staff/office had burst out in laughter.

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## kdw613

I was fitting CL's (in New York) and was totally at a loss. A patient came back with "trials" for a final re-check. She could not see, claiming they hurt and were uncomfortable. Hmmm...a -1.50 sph...how bad was I (I thought). I struggled and struggled to figure out what possibly could have gone wrong.

THEN....

She admits that she lost the Trial Lenses and was "borrowing" her Landlords Contact lenses until she could get new ones.

aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh....

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## saeromida

This post is one of my favorite. I visit and read a couple comments a day after I had a hard day with a customer. I am already at the end of the thread and I feel like I finished a book.

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## KrystleClear

Love reading these!

I haven't worked in eyecare as long as many here, but since starting in 2011, I have heard some real doozies. 

I had a patient who somehow dropped their cheap plastic frames in a toaster. Yes, a toaster. They didn't notice until it was too late. They brought them in and wanted me to fix them - a melted, mangled mess with grill marks in the lenses... Yeah, that ain't covered under the warranty. A past coworker had a patient who dropped glasses into a pot of boiling ramen noodles. 

Since the rise of blue blockers, I have heard some wacky things. Had a patient say, "What about those lenses that put you to sleep?" I don't know if they are getting this from TV commercials or other optical shops, but while there is anecdotal evidence to suggest it may help preserve your circadian rhythm, I am not about to promise you lenses that will "put you to sleep."

We had a patient order progressives... first time wearer. A coworker was dispensing to him and educating him on how to use them. He left, perfectly fine. Two minutes later he storms back in, guns a blazing metaphorically, screaming. He practically climbed over the dispensing counter and threw the glasses back at the coworker. I guess some lifestyle questions during the sale may have helped. Lol.

We also had a patient break her own glasses on purpose when the optician assured her they were sitting straight. Must have been a full moon. 

My favorite just happened a couple of weeks ago. I was adjusting a set of trifocals that had been dispensed a week prior. Patient's husband states the patient has been "b*tching" about them all week. I adjust them and all is well. She then says to me: "I haven't gotten a good pair of glasses from you in years. When Mr. (Doctor's name here) died five years ago, everything died with it." A few things wrong here: she called the doctor Mister, and also, he isn't dead, and wasn't dead five years ago either... If she meant the optician before me, well, he passed about 7 months ago and has a completely different name.  :Confused:

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## ogfullmelt

man too many to note down, but i love when they call progressives transitions.

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## ogfullmelt

my first lab in a private office next to a dentist office, lab was next to the kids operating room, man the screams we would hear

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## Alex Camblor

Dont you all love how there are boogiemen in every state that sit on peoples glasses in the middle of the night?

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## KrystleClear

> Dont you all love how there are boogiemen in every state that sit on peoples glasses in the middle of the night?


There are also poltergeists that rip glasses right off your face and send them flying. "They just flew off my face and broke!"

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