# Conversation and Fun > Just Conversation >  My beautiful daughter

## varmint

There may still be some members here who remember me as I haven't been available to be an active member for quite some time. I've been spending most of my time helping my daughter, Cari Ann Ford struggle thru late effects from having cancer treatment as a young 12 year old. Last Tuesday she went in for heart valve replacement surgery and we lost her to her battle on Friday at the way too young age of 42. 
I hope it ok to share this as I know there are others here that can understand the loss we are trying to cope with.
Jim McClafferty

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## NCspecs

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. No parent should ever have to bury a child. I know about that sort of loss unfortunately. Love and Light to your family.

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## optical24/7

Jim, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayer go out to you....

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## Steve Machol

Jim, I am so sorry to hear this. There are few things in life as devastating as the loss of a child and I fully understand your pain. It will be 12 years next month since we lost our daughter Liz and I still feel this tremendous hole in my heart every day. My thoughts and sympathies are with your and your family.

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## varmint

My son-in-law posted this on my daughters facebook;
Ever  since I met Cari Ann, and actually, as long as her family can remember,  she had a special way of saying certain things. It turns out that this  is fairly common in the family and we had so much fun with these that we  started to keep a list. We began to refer to them as Cari Ann-isms. The  entire family has contributed over the years and modified some of the  most common, and not so common, names, phrases and idioms. If you’ve  ever experienced one of these happen, they are a sure fire way to get  someone in the room to accidentally spit their drink out through their  nose!!! Going through these with family members and friends is always  fun.





James Ford

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## Fezz

Jim,

I was watching this all unfold on Facebook. My heart breaks for you and the family. I can not even begin to imagine your grief and sorrow. All I can say, is hang in there my friend.

PS. Those Cari Ann-isms are pretty funny!

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## obxeyeguy

So sorry for your loss Jim, I am sitting here shedding a tear for you over my biggest fear.  Godspeed my friend!

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## Diane

So very sorry for your loss.  I cannot begin to imagine your pain.  Praying for comfort for your family.

Diane

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## AngeHamm

Thank you for sharing the Cari-Ann-isms in this difficult time. My prayers are with your family.

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## optilady1

Sorry for your loss.  Prayers to you and yours.

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## Johns

So sorry.

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## mervinek

I am so very sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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## varmint

Thanks everyone, we are struggling but trying to think of her they way she would have wanted us to.

A Thank you to our beautiful Daughter,            
Cari Ann, from the moment we found out we were going to be parents we loved you.  Our world became more beautiful.  When they put you in our arms we could not believe how it was possible to love so much.   Thank you for blessing us and coming into our lives.  Thank you for being such a wonderful special daughter, your smile and spirit lit up our lives.  Your positive attitude was amazing no matter what you were going through.  We thought watching you go through your battles with cancer and all the terrible side effects were the hardest thing we would ever have to live through.  We were wrong.  Not seeing your beautiful face or being able to talk with you every day is going to be unbearable. 
Thank you for giving us our wonderful grandson Austin who will carry on your gentle spirit and canny wit. Thank you for bring Krysten into our lives.  The first day she came to us, she ran and jumped up into our arms and our hearts.  We promise we will be there from them for the rest of our lives.
Thank you for choosing Jim to be your husband.  When he asked us if he could marry you we were taken aback. No one could possibly take care of our special daughter the way we could.  I believe our question to him was “Do you know what you are in for, and are you prepared to handle that?”  We of course did not think so but did he ever prove us wrong. He stood by you always.  He loved you with all his heart.  He suffered the heartache with us each time you were ill. He was always by your side.  He kept you close to us and for that we will be forever grateful.   
I think we speak for all when we say thank you Cari Ann for being a special daughter, wife, mother, sister, granddaughter, daughter in law, sister in law, niece, cousin, aunt and special friend to all.  We love you very much. Heaven has gained a very special angel.
See you later.
Love,
Mom and Dad

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## Jubilee

My heart goes out to you. I am sorry for your loss. May your family find peace and healing during this difficult time.

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## EyeCare Rich

So Sorry for you varmint.  God gains another great spirit while we suffer here on earth.  What wonderful tributes you have posted here.  May gods peace be with you and your family while you wait to see her again.

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## varmint

During this difficult time that I believe will never be over, I have learned some things when it comes to trying to live with our heartache. 
Losing my daughter has been mentally and even somewhat physically  crippling. I’ve been thrust into an extraordinary, unforgiving situation  that I am still learning to live with. 
this I posted on facebook in hope that some true friends would understand,
 I’m doing my very best to be  brave and strong, but I have moments when I need to fall apart. A good  cry releases a lot of stress and pressure for me.
 Please call me every once in a while and set up a date and  time to come over. I know you told me to call if I ever needed  anything, but it’s weird asking others to spend time with me or help me  with stuff I used to be able to do on my own. It makes me feel weak and  needy, and I’m also afraid you’ll say “no.”
 Ask me “what’s up” or "whats going on"  rather than “how are you doing.” Let’s talk about life and what’s been  happening rather than focusing on my grief.
 The bottom line and  advice to the non-bereaved, don’t tell me how awesome I am. I don’t  care. All I want is my child back. The rest of the things I do are to  help me cope. Fortunately, many of those things are in the form of  compassion and helping others in honor of my lost child. I genuinely do  care more about others.
 There will be times when my grief will make  me “not myself.” I may be forgetful, abrupt or hurtful. None of this is  deliberate. Please don’t take it personally, and please forgive me.
    For the friends who have stayed, you know who is truly strong and  brave? You are! You had a non-life threatening uncomfortable choice to  make. Stay or become a friend or leave because you could not deal with  it. You have chosen to stay and try and understand a bereaved parent.  You have become or remained a friend. That is very strong and brave of  you. Thank you.

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## braheem24

My prayers for you and your family, One of those unimaginable things no parent should endure.

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## smallworld

I just wanted to say I lost my dad in March, he was 62, I'm 42.  He committed suicide.  It's a horrible raw pain to lose my dad.  I was a daddy's girl.  I often went to work with him when I was little.  He would let me tint lenses, do the drop ball test, or have me look for screws.  Over the years he would share every excitement of this industry with me.  When flexible frames became more available (but still expensive) I remember him showing me with awe .  Or Ray-Ban's latest and greatest styles in the 80's.  I had the first colored contacts (every color). He would put on a nice suit, a tie, and carry a briefcase to work.  He was more than an optician, he was a salesman and people were drawn to his passion.  Working in optical gives me a daily reminder of him. I miss him everyday, and 62 is too soon to lose your dad.  
I'm sorry you lost your daughter and please keep talking about it.  I still feel a hole in my heart, and always will.   Sending love your way.

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